Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash
This post was done on January 19th, 2015. I don’t think there has been an addition of time since then, so it may still be useful
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Mondays creep up on me sometimes. I guess I should remember how quickly the weekend goes and not be surprised. Needing to do another Top Ten list got me thinking about time and being under the gun, so to speak. I decided to use this situation as an inspiration for this week’s list.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Are Short on Time.
10 If you are short on time, do not stop to talk to sweet old Mrs. Beagly while she walks her dog. If you do, at best, the latest tale will have you captive until you are late. At worst, Mrs. Beagly will sense you are trying to avoid a long chat, and in doing so, she will believe she has cause to stick those pins she has been soaking in bat guano in that doll that has a lock of your hair on its otherwise bald little head.
9 If you are short on time, do not begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on the neighbor who has fallen and can’t get up. If you do, at best, you will hurry the process, and the neighbor will be able to tell you don’t have your heart in it. At worst, despite rushing the process, you have yet to get a sign of life, and because you are late and not that it matters anyway, you call the time of death about three minutes too early.
8 If you are short on time, do not begin surgery on a brain. If you do, at best, you may forget something in your haste to finish. (You know, like reconnecting the pleasure center) At worst, you will run out of time, and unfortunately, once you start, there is no good way to pack everything up and plan on finishing tomorrow, so your foursome will just have to find another player or go with three.
7 If you are short of time, do not begin building that rocket to Mars. If you do, at best, you might finish with several nuts and bolts left over, and the answer for this phenomenon is not “they packed extras.” At worst, you may rush through the job and actually finish, only to see your beautiful rocket light up the night sky over Disneyland just in time for the Main Street Parade finale.
6 If you are short of time, do not take flying lessons. If you do, at best, you will know only half of what you need when the propeller on your airplane decides to visit a local cornfield. At worst, you will have rushed through so many of the classes dealing with things like fuel starvation, magneto malfunction, preflight check, and navigation that on your cross-country flight, you might be intercepted by two F18s flown by two very unhappy-looking pilots who signal you to follow them.
5 If you are short of time, do not attempt to prepare an elaborate dinner for your boss and her husband. If you do, at best, they might overlook the rare chicken and concentrate on the bone in potatoes. At worst, you will give your boss a bad case of salmonella from undercooked food, and although you try to deny it, everyone will assume you did it on purpose so you could have the spot.
4 If you are short of time, do not start a mechanical fix on the family car. If you do, at best, you may not be able to put the car back together again in time for work tomorrow. At worst, you hurriedly fix the vehicle, and while commuting to work, you notice the tire passing you on the right, followed by a loud screech and sparks from the hub hitting the road. This is only the beginning since the tire went on and found its way into the front seat after passing through the windshield of the police car in the oncoming lane.
3 If you are short of time, do not offer to help with the kid’s homework. If you do, at best, you will not finish, and the child will get an incomplete the next day. At worst, you will do the best you can in the time allowed and will be more than mortified at the failing grade your child received, as well as the note attached to the homework reminding parents children should do their own work. ( And a PS that the teacher would like you to come in and discuss the issue.)
2 If you are short of time, do not offer to help coach your child’s soccer team. If you do, at best, the parents will forgive a couple of your absences. At worst, the parents will blame you for the losing season, and the stigma will stick with you and your child until the child graduates from high school and, for their own good, enrolls in a college in Spain.
1 If you are short of time, do not offer to watch someone else’s kids for just a moment. If you do, at best, the other parent will only be a few minutes late, and no harm will be done. At worst, the other parent will arrive way past the time you were to be at your meeting for the bid parameters on a building. The explanation will range from a “to die for” sale at Niemen’s to “I just lost track of time.” The net result is you have been excluded from the bidding on the new project whose scope has changed from one building to a whole shopping center.
Fiction Favorites 
When I am short of time, I tend to run around like a headless chicken and end up doing nothing at all!
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Ha ha ha. Sounds like me. 😁
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I can relate to that! LOLOL
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Me too.
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💖💖
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Why do these all sound like nightmares akin to being late for a test dreams?
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Now that I think about it, they just might be.
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All excellent advice. Only I must add, don’t answer that phone when you’re about to walk out the door – it’s bound to be the one friend who insists on talking for hours!!!
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Good one, GP. 😁
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Great examples. LOL. I’ll add that if you’re short of time, don’t start painting your living room. 🙄
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Very good, Gwen. I can see you have experience in this area.
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And I’ll add . . . make sure you have sufficient paint to finish the job . . .not that I’d know anything about paint. 😟
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Still smacks of personal experience, not that you would let anyone buy paint for you.
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Timely advice. Time has become the rarest of commodities these days.
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I agree. Goes by way too fast.
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Great list, John. You can add, “Don’t decide to read one more blog post.” I’d explain, but River just posted “News You Can’t Use” – gotta go.
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The thing about blog posts is they are never ending.
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Good one, Dan!
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🙂
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My addition is akin to GP’s. There are a couple of friends I often decide not to call because I know as well as I know I’m breathing that the call to confirm or convey information will turn into an hour’s worth of trying to end the conversation.
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Ha ha ha. I can identify with you. 😊
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Ha! Ha! Yep. There are times I deliberately take another exit out of the building to avoid the fictional Mrs. Beagly. 🙂 Good list!
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Thank you, Jan. 😁
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Oh yeah, the hurrier I go the behinder I get. 😆
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Yup. Thanks, Tim.
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No. 10 resonates with me today. i guess dog-walkers just tend to be a chatty group. That, or Monk and I attract the talkers and even when I’ve (nicely!) mentioned that I have to be somewhere soon, they blather on about nothing-in-particular.
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Mostly about their dogs.
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These are all excellent to keep in mind. It feels like the more of a hurry I am in, the more things hold me up. lol
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So true. I remember running out of the house one time and tripping over a boot scrape.
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The hardest realization I’ve learned over the years with respect to time is I can’t figure out how people like Mother Theresa and say…Madam Curie all got the same 24 hours a days that I got yet they accomplished so much more. How’s does that happen?? 😊
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I think the focus factor makes the difference.
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Thought I replied to this but will do so again. I think the focus factor is something these two had going for them. Very few distractions. (like hockey)
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Gasp…hockey is NOT a distraction! 😂
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Oh. Well, then something else.
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More than likely. As in I’m not very good with science 😉
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There you go. Quantum Theory as a distraction.
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I have always steadfastly maintained if a neurosurgeon is operating on me…1) leave PLENTY of time and, 2) make sure to note beforehand which side needs operated on. 🥼🔪
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Good advice, Bruce. Thanks.
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Read and heed, people! You have the benefit of John’s wisdom; don’t ignore it because you’re too short on time.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Liz.
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You’re welcome, John.
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Al good advice here, John 😉
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Thank you, Denise.
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That last one rang true – and it’s tough to yell at a friend!
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Yes, yelling at a friend is not a good idea.
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Hi John, great list – although I’m at risk for some of these distractions, fortunately I would not find myself volunteering to work on someone’s car or perform surgery – phew!
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Yes I would avoid those.
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Tips to pocket and remind me when I already have too much on my plate, John! 🙌🙏
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Yes, keep them handy.
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👏🙌🏽💕
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😊
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Well this post saved me a ton of thoughts and time. Well done John. Hugs, C
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I’ll always do #10. Small talk isn’t one of my better qualities, lol.
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Lol, #10 is me. When I’m dashing to a gym class, there’s always someone in the elevator who wants to keep the chat going. I bet if I left earlier, there’d be nobody on the elevator. 🙂
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Of course, you never know about the patterns. Maybe early will be even worse.
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Right? 🙂
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Every season I’ve ever watched my son or kids playing sports, there is some blowhard telling anyone who will listen what the refs or the coaches are doing wrong. No one wants to listen to your criticism unless you want to get out on the field and referee or coach.
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I was one of the coach’s for my daughter’s softball team. The parents were the worst. I could not get over how vile parents of opposing teams were to refs and coach’s. Pretty bad example for their kids.
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NOW you tell me!!!! Time is NEVER, EVER on my side!!!
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I know how you feel. 😁
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With all the time in the world, I still ain’t volunteering to watch someone else’s kids. No way, no how.
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I’m with you on that for sure.
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When you are short on time, put on blinders AND sunglasses and take the shortest route to where you have to go! And nope… I never offer my babysitting services, either…
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Good for you, Dale. Babysitting is a one way ticket to the flu.
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Plus… kids. Other than mine (coz I have to 😉 ) I’m not a fan, to be honest…. I was never the “Oh, let me hold the baby, type!”
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Hilarious, John. One of your funniest!
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Got all of those, John. Will avoid them as recommended.
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Excellent. You will be much happier if you do.
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Okay. You win. What the hell is “bone in potatoes?”
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A potato that is not cooked to mush. It has some substance. El dente so to speak.
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