This post ran on March 12, 2018. I think jury duty is still a thing so it may have some use.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Are Called for Jury Duty
The inspiration for this list was reading about Dan Antion’s experience being called for jury duty. I asked Dan if he wouldn’t mind sharing what it was like. He graciously sent the rules of jury duty for my review. I have to tell you, Dan is the kind of person who would never do any of these.
10 If you are called for jury duty, do not ignore the summons. If you do, at best, the sheriff will greet you before you go to work. At worst, your co-workers will be entertained by the process known as the “perp walk.” (Who takes official papers seriously, Dubhgan? It looks like the courts do.)
9 If you are called for jury duty, do not forget to wear your “jurist badge.” If you do, at best, someone may confuse you with a lawyer. At worst, Tiny, the WWF champ and northwest member of the sheriff’s department, will have you on the floor with your hands zip-tied behind you. (You do look good in that jumpsuit, Dughall. I know it would have been kind of Tiny to ask who you were, but he had a job to do.)
8 If you are c lled for jury duty, do not forget to check in with the clerk when you go on breaks or leave for the day. If you do, at best, you’ll be marked absent and will have to serve again. At worst, an overzealous us judge will think you are ignoring your duty and issue a summons for your arrest for contempt of court. (Now that past due parking ticket takes on a new meaning, right, Duran? BTW what is a SWAT team doing at the front door with that battering ram?)
7 If you are called for jury duty, do not park anywhere but in the designated juror parking lot. If you do, at best, you might get a ticket or be towed. At worst, you’ll return to your car and find it up on cement blocks. (Why are courthouses in the worst neighborhoods, Dusty? Oh, look, your engine is gone, too. )
6 If you are called for jury duty, do not think being excused early means you don’t have to return to work. If you do, at best, your boss will get a report of the hours. At worst, while you are celebrating the half day off in your favorite place, your boss and the boss’s boss all come in for lunch. (Kinda hard to explain why you are not at the courthouse, Devyn. Especially since it is after 1:00 and ten miles away from here.)
5 If you are called for jury duty, do not turn on the news in the juror’s lounge. If you do, at best, the burley bailiff will turn it off. At worst, you will be singled out as the person responsible for the motion by the defense for a new trial. (Of course, the trial has been going on for four weeks, and now all your fellow jurors have you to thank for the huge waste of time, Dixon.)
4 If you are called for jury duty, do not forget to turn off your cell phone. If you do, at best, you’ll get no calls. At worst, just as the defense has concluded an emotional final argument, your phone goes off, blaring your cus om ringtone by the Who. (That long, grave silence the defense was counting on just evaporated in laughter, Daegan. I’m not sure how they will feel about that move. I do know the judge just pounded the gavel head into sawdust.)
3 If you are called for jury duty, do not forget to bring your lunch. If you do, at best, there will be a vending machine. At worst, there will be a vending machine but no way to make change. (You can still use that fiver, Dallen, but I agree—five bucks seems like a lot for a Snickers bar.)
2 If you are called for jury duty, do not ignore the rules for walking around the courthouse. If you do, at best, you may wander into the wrong court. At worst, you may go through a door that closes and locks behind you. (This is great, Damak. You have entered the private chambers of the judge and are being asked your name and what you are doing there. I think the next step is forced removal by that burley bailiff. Yup, here he comes.)
1 If you are called for jury duty, do not think you can leave without completing the attendance report. If you do, at best, you’ll have to serve again. At worse, you won’t have proof you spent the last three weeks as a juror to give to your employer. (You thought the bureaucracy was terrible during jury duty. How about the red tape at the unemployment office, Danhy?)
Fiction Favorites 
I’ve never been called for jury duty. It sounds as though you’re speaking from personal experience?
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Dan’s list of rules helped. I was called once and after half a day sitting around was dismissed.
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My only experience in court was when one of my students took the college to court because I flunked him when he didn’t do the assignments and handed in plagiarized work to get more prior learning credit. Having this person cross-examine me on the witness stand was not fun.
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The kid must have had a deep pocketed Dad. Did the college win?
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I taught in a nontraditional program. This student was a grown man in his forties. It was small claims court, and yes, the college won.
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Yay.
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Thanks for the shout out, John. The time I was on the jury for a criminal case, the defendant made me think of Tiny. By the way, Tiny is innocent.
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Ha ha ha. I’ll keep the information on Tiny between us. 😁
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Thanks for these, John. A shame about the half day one! 💕😊
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yes it seems after all that one should get the afternoon off. Thanks, Harmony.
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😉
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I had jury duty twice and this is OUTSTANDING advice!!
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Thank you, GP. Maybe you can take it with you next time. 😁
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Hey – I’m over 70 now, don’t have to!
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Is there an age limit? If so I’m glad to hear it.
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They don’t force you over 70.
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Hmm. Sounds great.
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I’ve served multiple times. This is sound advice.
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Thank you, Craig. I never had the pleasure.
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Excellent advice, of course.
And methinks you have a problem with your keyboard, my friend! You are missing letters a little all over the place!
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Thank you so much, Dale. I don’t know exactly what happened. I suspect that Grammarly had something to do with it. I hope I caught them all. 🤗
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I dunno that it is Grammerly. It reminds me when I have a key that decideds it’s not working! Glad I could lend a hand, mon ami. 🤗
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😁
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I’ve never been called for jury duty. I received a summons from SC once, but we’d already relocated to KY. I probably cursed myself just now.
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I think the summons god just tagged you.
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The thing all working people fear. They really need to pay more if jurors have to take time off of work.
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An employer will help make up the difference if one works for someone with that policy
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Cool. Don’t think I’ve ever run into that.
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Usually bigger companies.
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Good ones, John. I’ve been called in several times, but never served on a jury. It still took up a lot of time, driving over to Mount Clemens and hanging around and listening to a lot of nonsense. One other thing, even if you always carry a pocketknife, don’t take to jury duty.
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I just have to imagine you waltzing through the scanner with a knife in your pocket. Those are great lessons
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It wasn’t me, John. It was a friend of mine. He got arrested.
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Ah. I’m glad it wasn’t you. 😁
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This is great advice! I’ve never been called, but I know what to reread if I ever am. 🩷🌷🌺😂
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Put this in the freezer and if you need it it will be fresh.
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I was called for jury duty in a federal case – bank robbery. The accused walked in in an orange jump suit and chains, and his lawyer objects that we were all prejudiced by that. The judge said no way. But when I was questioned I had to admit my grandfather was a policeman – which disqualified me, much to my joy!
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Yes. There you go. I’m surprised you weren’t prescreened out.
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A nightmare in any case! I keep hoping I am getting too old to have to serve on a jury. 🙂 Great list, John. Thanks to Dan for letting you in on the rules.
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Yes thanks to Dan. I’m not sure but I don’t think there is an age limit.
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Thanks for the list — I’ve only been called once, but they filled the panel before they got to me so I was excused. Wasn’t looking forward to it (but probably wouldn’t have been chosen anyway, as I knew some of the attorneys!)
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Knowing anyone around the court is a quick way to be excused.
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This was great, John and Dan. The bits about the bailiff (the wonderful, late Richard Moll) on Night Court. Hugs.
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I didn’t realize Richard was no longer with us. Thanks, Teagan.
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I didn’t either…
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😳
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Great list, John. I’ve been called (twice) but haven’t served. They don’t want me after they find out about my past work (adjudicating student cases on campus). 🙄
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They probably figure you are too smart for them.
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😂
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😊
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I friend of my wife got a summons for Jury Duty a few years ago but failed to reply. He got his chance when they showed up to take him into custody. Rules are rules…👮♀️
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Goodness.A summons be a summons.
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All good tips, John. I’ve never had to serve but will keep them handy just in case 🙂
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Yes. You never know.
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For a while I was receiving jury summons about every 4 years. And, no, I did not return to work even after I was dismissed. One good deed for the day was all I was good for. 😆
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Okay then. I agree with you. I suppose your boss agreed too.
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I might have forgotten to mention the early dismissal…
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I get called every year as our area is really hurting for jurors. The last time, I had to call each night for four weeks before I was finally excused.
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Goodness. Sounds abusive.
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Always wanted to serve on a jury but as soon as I mention the fact that (a) I had worked for a judge AND a DA and (b) worked in the legal field for close to 30 years…you know that blank look by the defense counsel means you’ll be quickly dismissed for cause. As always, an entertaining post, John.
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Yes he wouldn’t want someone who knew something on the jury.
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It is good as well as entertaining advice. One way of getting out of it is to appear biased when they ask you questions.
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Or admit to a fantasy that you’ve had about holding up a bank.
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Thank you for the advice! This was really funny, John.
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Thank you, Jennie.
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🙂
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😊
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Wait what? I had to go back to work? THAT explains it!
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Yes it does.
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Sheesh!
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I wouldn’t mind serving. It’s getting to the courtroom that would be the challenge. Sigh.
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No parking either.
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Thank you for this helpful list, John. Hope I don’t have to apply it anytime soon. It’s been a while since I’ve been summoned. 😬
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Me too and now I’m too old. Well, save it you never know. 😁
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👍🏻
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Pretty close to the truth on all of them. I’ve been calls twice but was it selected. Maybe my answer, ‘hang him high’ didn’t endear me to the defense…
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Good response though. 😁
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The best part of getting old is that you “age out” of jury duty. The last time the called me, I told them my age and they said no problem.
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I think you’ve hit on one of the good things of getting old. Another is the 35 cent senior cup of coffee at the diner.
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One major benefit to having a career in law enforcement. They can never call me up for jury duty. (they seem to think that we may be a tad biased) 🙂
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Now that I’m over 80 I have the same benefit. 😊
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Great post, George just got called up, only one short case.
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That was good.
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