This post was published on March 26th, 2018. Since four-hour trips still happen, perhaps it will be useful.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Four-Hour Car Trip Alone
This list was inspired by my recent four-hour one-way trip to Galveston. I had to keep reminding myself to avoid these things, which I managed to do.
10 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not decide to set up a new playlist on Spotify while driving. If you do, at best, you’ll take a wrong turn. At worst, you’ll get pulled over by a small-town police officer who thinks you are texting and driving. (Lucky the officer is a Dead Head and let you go after a twice run-through of “Keep on Truckin,” huh, Dawud?)
9 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not pick up hitchhikers. If you do, at best, they will be a traveling preacher. At worst, you’ll pick up Tiny, the WWF champ, who has just jogged for ten miles and tells you he thinks he needs a shower. (What gave you a clue, Daylin? Maybe the steamed-up windows or the fact that your air freshener exploded?)
8 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not continue to update the GPS system looking for a shorter route.. If you do, at best, you’ll end up at a dead-end street. At worst, after four hours, the system will route you to a point where you realize you are one state over from your destination. (Best to keep your hands off the system, Dearborn. Maybe it is time to deal with those trust issues.)
7 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not think you must pass every car on the road. If you do, at best, you get stuck behind a slow-moving truck and pass through a speed trap ten miles under the limit. At worst, you’ll find yourself in the oncoming lane with someone at your side who has the same objective. (Is he actually wearing a death’s-head mask, Declan? Maybe you better hit the brake and get back in your lane. I know, tough decision.)
6 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not decide to do e-mails on your phone. If you do, at best, you’ll trash the most important. At worst, you will get so engrossed that you miss the road closed sign. (Looks like you are buried in mud, Delany. Hope you have Triple-A.)
5 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not try to stay alert with copious amounts of caffeine. If you do, at best, there will be plenty of rest areas. At worst, you didn’t pay attention to the sign Last Rest Area for 100 Miles, and now you are sweating like an overworked racehorse. (Even the descriptor of racehorse brings up increased tension, Delmar. Why is all the land around you flat and lacking vegetation?)
4 If you are alone on a long car trip, do not start singing and using stage gestures along with the show tune on the radio. If you do, at best, those going the opposite way won’t call the State Police to report a crazy person behind the wheel. At worst, they will. (You passed the touch-nose test, Demitri. Now, let’s see how that straight-line walking goes.)
3 If you are alone on a long trip, do not think you are safe going nine miles an hour over the speed limit. If you do, at best, you won’t see any police. At worst, you will meet a friendly State Trooper who writes up everyone who is five miles per hour over the limit. (The nice part about being caught in a small town is the folks in jail are very friendly, Derby.)
2 If you are alone on a long trip, do not think you can drive and let your mind wander at the same time. If you do, at best, the rumble strips will pop you back to reality. At worst, you’ll have just solved that plot conundrum at the same time you end up in a ditch. (The sad thing is that solution flew out your very broken window when you rolled the car, Deron.)
1 If you are alone on a long trip or any trip, do not text and drive. If you do, at best, there will be no consequences. At worst, you might be in a position to regret your actions for the rest of your life, Derry.
Fiction Favorites 
Great advices, John! Here, near the federal border to the Czech Republic you only can meet illegal refugees. You will be fined, if you will be stopped by police, with one or more of these persons in your vehicle. ;-/ The worst situation could be, you and your passengers would get a stay in one of the prisons. xx Michael
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At least something is being done there with illegals. Our criminal president refuses to stop the flow. Illegals are a source for votes which are his only concerns. He ought to be put in jail.
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Another great list. When driving alone one time I got a case of what they call ‘highway hypnosis’ and happened to be on the circle highway around Baltimore.
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That must have been scary. Of course, Baltimore can be scary all by itself.
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Good advice, John. As for “the rest of your life…” it may not be that long. I make the trip from here to Pittsburgh alone, and I pay attention to all of these.
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Excellent, Dan. So glad you do.
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It’s not worth trying to shave a few minutes off a long trip.
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All good advice, John 🙂
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Thank you, Denise. Goodness you are up early.
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Popped awake in the middle of the night and got tired of trying yo sleep…lol
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😁
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Great advice. I shall put it to work this July when I drive down to Woodstock – my CDs ready, no hitchhikers, GPS set before leaving 😉
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Excellent, Dale.
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😊
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I’m safe from most of these, since I don’t use GPS and I don’t ever pick up my phone or speed. That said, I might add another caution: “If you want to look at the roadside flowers, pull over!”
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Good one, Linda. Rubbernecking flowers at highway speed is not the way to go.
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Great tips. I’m toying with the idea of doing my first solo car trip later this year. It would be about 6 hours with breaks, so I’m definitely going to listen to this advice. Not sure how it will go since that seems like a really long time to be in a car without someone to talk to.
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Maybe you can take a character along for the ride.
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I’m sure they’ll be around, but they aren’t that concerned about keeping my eyes on the road.
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Good thoughts, John. When driving, keep your mind on the task.
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Agree, Tim. Thank you.
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Wonderful tips. I seem to wind up wearing my fast food while driving. Probably should take ten minutes to finish, then drive.
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I like the mustard stain on front of a shirt. Has a certain air of nonchalance.
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#4…behind the car with the singing/gesturing driver is so entertaining. Especially when driver and front seat passenger decide a duet is best. 🙄
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You are so right, Lois. 😁
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These are wise suggestions indeed! 😀
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Thank you, Kymber. 😊
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#1 here really is the #1 to live by, John!
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Thanks Bruce. 😊
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Oh gosh, this post brings up nightmares from when my husband and I moved to Arizona. One of us is a fiddler and took the U-Haul off road. 🙄
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One of you? I can imagine that was quite a ride. Thank for the laugh, Gwen
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Four hours is a long time to be driving solo. Perhaps you might have added a suggestion to pull over periodically (for a soda, gas, bathroom break) so you won’t get mesmerized by the monotony??
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It is more fun when you have road hypnosis 😁
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Surprisingly good tips, John!
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Ha ha ha. I tend to surprise at least one person a day.
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All good advice, although I do like to seat dance to rock and roll on long trips by myself. Reminds me of my drive from Houston to Galveston.
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That is a nice drive.
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I was asked to do a review of the Anatomy program at the med school there. I really liked Galveston. Lovely beaches.
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😁
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” … copious amounts of caffeine …”
I like the alliteration. Nice job.
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Thank you, Andrew. Glad you liked it.
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I can’t believe the number of people who text while driving. It’s one thing they are doing something reckless to themselves, but they’re putting others at risk by this behavior.
Not sure if you follow the NBA, but Charles Barkley razzed the New Orleans Pelicans for quitting the other night instead of competing. He talked about sending them to Galveston rather than to Cancun.
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The water in Galveston is dirty. I visited there once and it was brown.
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Great advice, John. I’m glad you survived your 4 hour road trip.
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Except for one police stop I did. (he let me go with a warning)
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Whew!
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That’s what I thought.
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Spending a lot of time ‘on the road’ during my career, this is very good advice. I did sail past my exit once because I was on the phone (hands free) but I had to travel another 20 miles to get back on track and was late for my appointment.
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I try to stay off the phone in the car. I tend to do stuff like you described.
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I have to watch out for #2 on your list. I would add to your list don’t crank up your favorite song and stomp the gas to keep up, and don’t fall asleep.
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All good, Liz.
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The only time I would ever pick up a hitchhiker is if Vera Farmiga happened to be the one hitchhiking. And tell me, what are the chances of that happening?
As for the java, I limit myself to one cup on long trips. I also keep the water intake at a minimum, otherwise I’m stopping!
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In airplanes there is an item called a relief tube. No such thing in a car. 😁
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No there is not. And the staties tend to frown on public urination on the side of the road. And no, the excuse that the closest rest area is too far to wait doesn’t work with them.
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We need factory installed relief tubes in cars.
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Agreed. It should be standard by now.
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Indeed
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Great advice, John! 😀
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Thank you, Lauren. 😊
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These made me smile, more than once. I especially could relate to the rumble strips. Even incidentally getting on them will jolt the dickens out of as trip, with or without passerngers!
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Awk, oh dear, just as I hit post, I saw passengers was misspelled. Apologies, sir. Feel free to edit and delete this message. 😊
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So true. I hit a set going way too fast and sorta slid sideways. Real scary.
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Hitting them always agitates the dogs so I’m extra careful; nothing worse than a stressed out dog panting in your eardrum that you can’t seem to comfort.
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So true. Lucky I was alone. Panting dogs are most concerning
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Luckily I was alone. Panting dogs are always a concern
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What? Just drive?
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Yup. That’s it. Or hire a driver. 😊
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