Twiggy as a puppy (about 10 weeks)
Tempeste the puppy (about 15 weeks)
This post ran on May 7, 2018. Since we are again a puppy owner, I think the list still has some good advice.
* * *
The inspiration for this post has been a month of puppy raising.
10 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Is that a new puppy?” If you do, at best, you will get a “yes.” At worst, the owner will wonder if you lost your mind and answer, “No, it is an old puppy.” (I think you could have guessed there have been some long nights, Eberhardt.)
9 If you meet a puppy owner named Tiny, do not say, “What kind of horse is that?” If you do, at best, Tiny, the WWF champ, will think you are kidding. At worst, Tiny just left the vet’s office with strict instructions to cut back on the amount of food he is feeding his Great Dane Puppy. (We all know you didn’t mean to hit a sore spot, Ede. The knowledge will not help soothe that pain, though, so running is definitely in the cards right now.)
8 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Your arms look like you’ve been using.” If you do, at best, the owner will laugh at the statement. At worst, you’ll be handed the puppy to experience the joy of those needle-like teeth for yourself. (One way to get a puppy to release is to offer a chew toy, Edwaldo. Oh, you don’t have a chew toy? Next, stop the ER.)
7 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “How much did that puppy cost?” If you do, at best, the owner will ignore you. At worst, you must be patient as the owner details all the expenses so far. ( It has been ten minutes, Efrem, and now it looks like you will miss your bus. Aren’t you glad you asked?)
6 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Is that a purebred?” If you do, at best, no one cares. At worst, you will have touched on the one item on which the owners violently disagree. (How were you to know these two were on the verge of a breakup over the question of pure breed or not, Ekewaka. Well, it looks like the whole argument has flared again. Best to quietly walk away.)
5 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “How are you adjusting?” If you do, at best, you’ll get a stiff upper lip response with no detail. At worst, your question triggered a loud and tear-filled explanation of how hard it has been. (Even though you are uncomfortable, Elden, letting this person sob on your shoulder is the right thing to do. I would tell those people they can move on and quit gawking.)
4 If you meet a puppy owner, do not ask, “Is your puppy house trained yet?” If you do, at best, the owner has no concerns about house training. At worse, you might have to listen to a lecture on the psychological damage owners inflict on poor puppies expecting house training too early. (Well, I guess it isn’t going well, Elhanan. What is your guess?)
3 If you meet a puppy owner, do not ask, “Which is easier, Puppies or kids?” If you do, at best, the owner will be honest and say, “Kids.” At worst, you’ll get a stink eye from hell and a request to step aside. ( Looks like both jobs are a problem, Elisha. I would step aside before someone gets hurt. Namely you.)
2 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “Why did you pick that name?” If you do, at best, the owner will assume you are not being critical. At worst, the owner will think you are questioning the choice and go to extremes to make the name choice seem plausible. (I think the owner believes everyone names their puppy Little Poop Ellen. I, like you, wanted more information about that choice. Oh well, maybe next time.)
1 If you meet a puppy owner, do not say, “What made you get a puppy?” If you do at best, you’ll get a heartwarming story. At worst, after the crying stops, you will feel sorry for the owner and the puppy and are now the proud owner of a new puppy. (I have to say, Elmore, that puppy is better off with you.)
Fiction Favorites 
Only someone who has had a puppy should talk to a puppy owner. Good list, John and good luck with your adorable new pup. And yes, Twiggy, you’re still adorable.
LikeLiked by 3 people
😁 Thank you, Dan.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The can be a lot of work. My furniture still bears the wounds of the puppy phase.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. “Memory bites.” Thanks Craig.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For SOME puppy owners, maybe giving up the pup happens. But never you Sheriff. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, Pilgrim. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
For some reason, you didn’t include my favorite question: “Cats are so much easier — why didn’t you get a cat?”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I love that one too. Thanks, Linda.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course the memorable corollary is “dogs have masters, cats have servants.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
We have had four cats and loved them dearly. Yes we were servants. Frenchies have the ability to mimic cats in the servitude trait.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dan said all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He did, didn’t he. Thanks, GP
LikeLiked by 1 person
#5 doesn’t seem that bad. Mostly because I hear it about babies too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLike
I like when ‘people in the know’ look at the puppy’s paws and say, ‘Gonna be a big dog.’ That must be enlightening to the dog owner. 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe a little scary too. Thanks, Lois.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. Keep the questions in your mind and give compliments, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The best course of action, Tim. Applies to kids too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
And never ask how many shoes they chewed! Oh my or what was wrong with you to get another.. 😝
LikeLiked by 1 person
That last one is a biggie. Thanks, Cindy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll Say!!!🙏🙏🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
I’d forgotten how trying a puppy can be!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed. It is a good thing they do 51% cute things
LikeLiked by 1 person
For sure!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
#11 If you need a puppy sitter do not call Kristi Noem.
At best, you may see you precious puppy again.
At worse, you will have a hard time getting the blood out of the carpet.
(Makes you think twice, doesn’t it, Zeke, about women being the “fairer sex.”)
Sorry to steal your bit, John. It won’t happen a again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your stuff so you can steal anytime. We’ll call it guest appearence
LikeLiked by 1 person
Been there, done that … several times! Great list, John. Personally, I hate when people assume Monk is female and say how pretty “she” is. Sure, it’s pretty hard to tell with Shelties, but I’d like to remind them never to assume anything. Your two are still such darling pups!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Debbie. I remember the old Lassie program (I know not a Sheltie) where he was called a she. Maybe there is some rub off there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was terrific, John. You had me giggling from the first one, on. lol🌺
LikeLiked by 1 person
Giggles are always good. Thank you, Kymber.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Twiggy was an adorable up and now so is Tempeste. I usually ask the puppy’s name and then can’t resist giving it all sorts of pets and rubs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
They all like that for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hee, hee. That was a chuckle out loud list for sure. 40 years ago when I had my first Standard Poodle, people always asked what was she. A friend with me once stepped in and with a straight face said, “Oh she’s an AKC Weasle-snatcher.” The person thought she was serious. Bwahahahaha!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love that. Thanks, Monika
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi John, haha, this is very good. I’ve been considering getting Michael a puppy …
LikeLiked by 2 people
Big responsibility. For mom too
LikeLike
Yes, I know. I’m still considering. We go away a fair bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is something that a puppy makes difficult.
LikeLike
I know, but perhaps my SIL will help us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would be great.
LikeLike
My most annoying comment from new puppy owners is when they say “This is [fill in the blank]. S/he is a rescue.” That’s like introducing your child as adopted. Really??? Respect…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think people who rescue pups don’t want you to think they got the puppy from a puppy mill. They also may want to avoid the “With so many dogs needing to be adopted why did you get a puppy?” I have had that one myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
With our Leonberger I often heard the opposite to “Is that a purebred” – “Is that a mutt”, which is equally annoying. I don’t worry about mutt versus purebred, but it is annoying when people assume it is a mutt just because they don’t recognize the breed. Also “your dog is scary” is another that is not so great either. Or bending over to pet our Rollo without asking, which unlike our Leonberger is not friendly despite being little and cute.
Tempeste and Twiggy are very cute.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It takes all kinds thomas. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I’ve been walking with my friend and her dog, I’ve heard some crazy questions. Twiggy looks so small in that pic!
LikeLike
She was that small. Hard to believe..
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! This is why I don’t do puppies (or kittens)–only grown ups!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Puppies are not for everyone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😹
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
#1 had me chuckling. Our elderly neighbor recently brought home a German Shepherd puppy. His wife wasn’t too pleased, nor was his very active Australian Shepherd. Long story short, he had to return the puppy after a few days, as he was just “too much work.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah people don’t really think through the consequences of raising a puppy. Too many are returned or abandoned.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent list, John. As lifelong dog owners, we continue to punish ourselves by raising puppies. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wouldn’t either. However at this stage of life, I think this may be my last puppy. (Hear that Lord)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve reminded me of the puppy experience. They are a lot of work, but their unconditional love and loyalty is worth the effort.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree, Michele.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is that a new puppy lol… brilliant of course John..hugsx
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Big laughs here, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad Jennie. Laughs are a good thing.
LikeLike
Oh, John, this list is so, so true! My brother-in-law got a puppy last year, a black labdoodle (🤷🏼♀️). Before too long, we were all sporting bite marks on our hands and arms. She never intended to hurt anyone. She would just play too hard, unaware of the pain she was inflicting. She has a roomful of chew toys and balls, but still prefers to tear apart my BIL’s newspaper. Now she’s about 16 months old, my BIL is 80, and we all just hope she starts slowing down soon 🤦🏼♀️😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m still healing. Tempeste is out of that phase but what a nightmare. Thanks, Marie. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
My BIL can’t wait until she’s out of the “I want to eat everything I’m not supposed to eat” phase. I think he has a long wait ahead of him 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tempeste is in the eat everything stage as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those puppy pictures are adorable, John. This is a list with sound advice, and people who don’t adhere to it are barking up the wrong tree.
LikeLike
I agree, Bruce. Thanks, 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the photos and what a great list!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jan. 😊
LikeLike
Gee, I’ve never had a puppy, only kittens. However, the arm chewing is similar. This is accompanied with kitten shred clawing. This way the owner does not look like a “user”, as the arm hangs in red ribbons.
A truly warm and funny post, John. Thank you, and may you have many more days of happy puppying!
OX OX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Resa. 😊X 😊X
LikeLiked by 1 person
OX OX
LikeLiked by 1 person
OX OX OX
LikeLike
OX OX OX OX
LikeLike
OX OX OX OX 🌹
LikeLike
How strange, dear John! This list is full of questions usually made to a parrot owner.😂😂😂 Dogs, cat, parrots…it doesn’t matter for those who asks. 🍻🍻🍻🍤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you are right, Maria. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
All good advice. No. 3 resonates. When our older son went away to college overseas we contemplated getting a puppy so that the younger one would have company. Eventually we chickened out. Also, we were concerned about our older son’s feelings about being replaced in no time with a puppy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You were wise to pass.Being replaced by a puppy would be a blow.
LikeLike