This post was run on June 25, 2018. It still may make some sense.
Top Ten Things Not-to-Do While Making a Top Ten Things Not-to-Do List
10 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not search the internet for top ten ideas. If you do, at best, your creativity will be stilted. At worst, you’ll start duplicating others’ work without knowing it. (Looks like that plagiarism charge is going to stick, Elder. There goes the old writing career.)
9 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not ask Tiny, the WWF champ, to preview the ridiculous stuff you wrote about him. If you do, at best, Tiny left his reading glasses at home. At worst, Tiny just left his self-esteem support group and is now taking everything you wrote literally. (I wouldn’t worry about getting your shredded paper back, Elia. I think I would begin to move towards the door.)
8 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not check with a loved one to see if it is funny. If you do, at best, you’ll be disappointed with the response. At worst, you’ll get a reminder about how beautiful it would be if you had a real job. (You can’t expect everyone to like your stuff, Ellery. Keep looking; maybe you’ll find one person who does.)
7 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not stare at people who will eventually end up on the list. If you do, at best, one may ask you, “Are you looking at me?” At worst, you might be taken for a stalker and have to explain yourself. (As you can see, the police have no interest in your list-making career, Elson. They just want you to come quietly.)
6 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not make the subject so obscure no one will get it. If you do, at best, your readership may drop. At worst, you will be explaining your meaning for the next ten years. (So why do you suppose nobody got the Top Ten things not to do in a Barnyard, Emery? I thought it was fascinating.)
5 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not make a list so familiar that everyone will think you did these things. If you do, at best, you’ll look like a fool. At worst, the FBI opens a file about you, and you get this strange feeling you are being followed. (Don’t look now, Emilin, but there is a black SUV at the end of your block.)
4 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not think the subjects will come to you if you drink more. If you do, at best, you can run one you published before. At worst, you will actually hit publish without waiting until the morning after to proofread the work. ( You know those seven words George Carlin said can’t be used on the radio? Well, Emrys, you used each one in your post. They aren’t allowed there either.)
3 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not think you have to be practical. If you do, at best, your work will be as dry as unbuttered rye toast. At worst, you’ll get mail from folks more practical than you telling you how your list is impractical. ( just shows to go ya, Endymion. You can’t please all the people all the time. Gotta stick with fiction.)
2 If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not stop until you have ten things. If you do, at best, you’ll look like you had a bad night. At worst, folks will be looking for the tenth item and will assume you are holding out on them. (Okay, so it is not such a big deal, Enrico, but some of your regulars are talking about a boycott. Who advertises ten and then publishes only nine? Crazy people, that’s who.)
1. If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list, do not think you will be discovered someday. If you do, at best, you’ll still work in the dark. At worst, you will create a false expectation that your lists are the key to fame. (It looks like another day has passed without that million seller, Ericson. Maybe you need to make another list.)
Fiction Favorites 
Beautiful. I would have considered asking AI. Some models are very good in writing whatever you want. You only have to spend a lot of time more to edit it. 😉 Best wishes, and have a wonderful week, John! xx Michael
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Thank you, Michael.
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That’s a lot to remember, John. I think I’ll stick to coming here each Monday. I also like the idea that Tiny isn’t looking for me – no offense, Tiny, it’s just that I know you have better things to do.
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Tiny was just thinking of joining you on your time off. I talked him out of it. 😊
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Of course he’d be welcome. But thanks.
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Yes I’m sure he would be welcome. Like ants at a picnic
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https://pacificparatrooper.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/worried-emoji-e1712230119522.webp
Don’t ever talk about Tiny!!
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Ha ha ha. I whisper a lot.
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Good thoughts on making the list, John. Have a good day.
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Thank you, Tim. Have a good one too.
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Very ‘inception-y’.
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😊
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I’d never do #8. Some things I think are hilarious don’t make sense to Hubby and vice versa, lol.
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Same here. I get more laughs on the blog so I don’t even try.
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Great information for those in the list making field.
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Might be a little tiny audience. Thanks, Craig.
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A clever list! I like the meta-ness of this 🙂
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Thank you, Dave. Meta is a meta does. 😁
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I’m a definite list-maker, but not lists of what NOT to do!
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Aw gee. Okay maybe I’m the only one.
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you may have stumped some people!
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Could be. Thanks, Noelle.
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Good advice, John 🙂
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Thank you, Denise.
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Who knew that creating not-to-do lists coul be fraught with suchperil?
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I know right? You have to be careful.
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Ha! Always best to do a list with a positive spin, not the stuff you shouldn’t want.
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That is for sure, Monika.
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Thanks for the list, John. I’ll have to remember to reference it, if I should ever write a Top Ten Things Not-to-do List!
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Thanks, Debbie. 🤣
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This reminds me of one of Lettermen’s lists from back in the day. Funny stuff here and there.
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Yes here and there are some funny things. Thanks, Pete.
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When it comes to writing and drinking, moderation is definitely the key to success, LOL
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Yes indeed. It is wise to do only many words and so many sips. 😁
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Nice and easy does it.
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The title alone made me laugh – easy to get caught in a loop going down that road, isn’t it. 👍🏻
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I’m usually in one kind of loop or another. Thanks, Michele. 😊
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😂👍🏻
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😊
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“If you are making a Top ten things not-to-do list, do not make a list so familiar that everyone will think you did these things.”
You’re not foolin’ anyone, Johnny Boy.
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Ha ha ha. Exposed.
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#8 truly resonates with me … 😆
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Me too. 😁
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😂
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😊
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If you are making a top ten things not-to-do list – Top of the list, do not make a list. You will do at least one of those things because they are in your head, and then you’ll feel a failure. LOL.😊
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Good upgrade Judith. 😁
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And the cardinal rule…never ever reveal your trade secrets
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I think that is good advice Ankur. Secrets are meant to be kept. 😊
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