Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay
This post was originally published on February 17, 2014 by Marie Bailey and me. Since this year’s income tax deadline is fast approaching, I thought it would be good to review.
Top Ten Things Not To Do While Doing Your Taxes
10. While doing your taxes, do not allow the cat to sit on your keyboard. If you do, at best, you may miss a couple of deductions. At worst, your kitty may just add a few zeroes to your tax bill.
9. While doing your taxes, do not have a hot drink sitting on some of your worksheets. If you do, at best, you could tip it over and ruin a few papers. At worst, you could tip it into your lap and jeopardize your love life till you heal.
8. While doing your taxes, do not allow your dog to play with the computer cord. If you do, at best, you may run out of battery. At worst you may need to run out to the vet to help Fido overcome his electro shock treatment
7. While doing your taxes, do not allow the family to play video games on your computer between sessions. If you do, at best, some memory may disappear. At worst, the IRS may get a Madden football game instead of your 1040.
6. While doing your taxes, do not leave your computer without saving your file. If you do, at best, you might have to remember all your half-truths all over again. At worst, you may be unable to reconstruct your perfect return and might end up owing more than you had planned.
5. While doing your taxes, do not think the IRS is okay with rough guesses or estimates of the numbers. If you do, at best, you will never hear from the IRS. At worst, you will have to explain your numbers during an audit to a disbelieving agent with a cattle prod.
4. While doing your taxes, do not forget to sign your return even if you don’t believe it to be true. If you do, At best, the return will bounce back. At worst, the lack of signature will trigger a visit from NSA who will want to know all about you.
3. While doing your taxes, do not try to get away without attaching a check if you owe money. If you do, at best, the government will send you a nasty note. At worst, you will find out how little a sense of humor the IRS really has as the gavel falls on the final auction of your house.
2. While doing your taxes, do not drink alcohol even if you think it will help. If you do, at best, you might be shocked by the amount you deducted. At worst, you may be shocked to find you have already mailed the return on which you took too many deductions.
1. While doing your taxes, do not be discouraged enough to decide not to file. If you do at best, you will never sleep again. At worst, you may get all your living expenses paid, but may have a roommate who wants to go steady.
Fiction Favorites 
Ugh, tax season 😩 not much else besides that can be said! Lol 😆 thanks for the humorous reminders, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, tax season. Time for contemplation, and “ugh,” certainly covers the subject.😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Now you tell me! Now when I don’t even have to make them out!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Better late than never I would say. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
What if the cat is a certified tax consultant?
LikeLiked by 1 person
The cat client should not sit on the keyboard in that case. 😀
LikeLike
Mine have been filed, John, but this is still a good list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could have done with this advice before I filed mine, John 😆 These are great warnings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Esther. I’m sure you didn’t need any advice. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
This may be the first year in my lifetime that I’ve finished mine early. You have some great tips I could have used in the past. This year, I’d add one more: don’t think the chaos at the IRS is a reason for non-filing, as some apparently do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good advice, Linda. I’m sure there is someone watching the store at the IRS.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Alcohol might be required once we see the tax results.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Copious amounts would help ease the shock. Thanks, Teri.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Several years ago, I forgot to list one item on our tax return. Received a letter from the IRS (“this is not an audit”), along with three months of late fee charges. It was definitely my mistake, but having to pay those late fees really ticked me off.
And yes, the cat consultants are locked out of the room until I have completed our taxes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The prominent accountant at the IRS loves those late fees for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We may need to drink alcohol this year!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have my permission to proceed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mine still aren’t done — ugh! Thanks for this nice list though. You never know when it might come in handy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. All of those are so true! Now that we don’t have much of an IRS anymore, maybe #1 is less likely. I may give it a try. Thanks for the laughs, John.
LikeLike
Let me know how it works for you. I do have a file in the cake recipe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Erm. Well, you know that I’m now “invisible” as far as the federal government goes. I think that should exempt me from taxes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Go for it. The cake offer still stands.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll keep that in mind for next year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cursing is okay, though, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is not only okay but recommended.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good advice, John. Doing taxes takes concentration, for me anyway. This year, when I finished and filed, my wife was surprised that I didn’t cuss. 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always announce that I will be doing the taxes. Dogs scurry for cover, and The Producer goes for the earplugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Earplugs is a good idea. Are for your or her?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha
LikeLiked by 1 person
All good advice. I’ve gotten into trouble with water nearby.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Water seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to important papers.
LikeLike
Oh, I never include the cheque when I file… What if by some stroke of luck, the accountant forgot a deduction and I actually get money? A girl can dream, yes?
LikeLiked by 1 person
We don’t have that luxury here. If the paperwork says you owe, there had better be a check attached.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well. They just charge interest…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very kind of them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha. ha ha
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Got mine filed, but still have to figure out how to pay.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always the issue
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ugh, tax season!! I don’t know why I’m complaining. My husband does our taxes which are, thankfully, fairly simple. But he’s putting it off. Given the current state of things, he’ll probably leave filing until the last minute 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lot of folks are thinking the IRS is going away. I’ll bet not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, but it’ll be a lot smaller and so the rich people will get away with more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Uh Huh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great list, John. It gave me the chills just imagining one sidestep or another. I’m ever so grateful to our tax whisperer. The Return is in the mail! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always good to have a tax whisper. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know your system is slightly different in the USA than in England.. But my hubby was self employed and had yearly tax returns.. So I sympathise 🙂 xx ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we have yearly tax returns. Pain for sure. Thanks, Sue.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Solid tax advice! 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 Thanks, Michele
LikeLiked by 1 person
No cats, dogs or coffee . . . and I can’t say I haven’t broken all these rules before.
But at least I never filed an Oscar Madison return, which includes but is not limited to, receipts on mustard stained napkins.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Good one, Marc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Our stuff is complicated this year with the sale of some property. I used to do our taxes each year, but now we work with an accountant. I’ll be relieved after we see him on Firday.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having someone else do them could be a relief. Thanks. Pete
LikeLiked by 1 person
#6. “….you might have to remember all your half-truths all over again.” Ha ha. Unfortuntaley, collecting all the data can sometimes be challenging. In Sweden the taxes are a lot easier to do. The government sends you a form that includes a list of all your reported income and ask you if you want to add something that was not reported. If not you just sign. I never had anything extra so I just signed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like no tax breaks
LikeLiked by 1 person
I cracked up at the disbelieving agent with a cattle prod remark! 🙂 Good stuff, John and Marie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Jan
LikeLiked by 1 person
Taxes work differently in Sweden much less deductibles and higher taxes overall. The big difference with respect to the form is that the government keep track of all your income and pre-fill it for you. W2 is already reported so why should it not be on the form automatically? I should say you get your pre-filled form sent to you. You just make changes or additions. Another difference is that you are not punished hard for mistakes or cheating. It is good and bad differences.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I assume the taxes are withheld throughout the year and not a big lump at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes that part is the same as in the US
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love #1.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good tips for the tax season. Somehow Husband checked Single when he did our taxes this year. IRS was kind enough to fix it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That must have been frustrating for him. Do you still volunteer to help with senior citizen taxes?
LikeLike
Really funny, and as we do taxes this weekend, it will help. The cattle prod cracked me up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Good luck with the taxes, Jennie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, John. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh…taxes!😱😱😱 Very useful sushi set… and so painful every time! Thank you, dear John, for reminding that this is not a rose garden…🍻🍤🍤🍤
LikeLike
Ha ha ha. No rose garden during tax time. 🌹
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] Favorites: Top Ten Things Not To Do While Doing Your Taxes | Fiction Favorites This post was originally published on February 17, 2014 by Marie Bailey and me. Since […]
LikeLike
Thank you for the link, Traci.
LikeLike
This happened to a friend of mine (about 12 years ago).
He was itemizing his deductions and came across one where he’d get only a few dollars back, so he skipped it. Kinda like saying to the IRS, you can keep this one. It’s not worth the time or the paperwork.
Well, wouldn’t you know it. The IRS called him in for a full audit because if he was that sloppy by not declaring everything, then what other mistakes had he made.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had that happen, too. Walked away with fifty bucks after all was said and done.
LikeLike