Today, I randomly opened the second book in the Eternal Road series to page 175. With my eyes closed, I pointed to the page, and my finger fell on the word “wipes.” This is our prompt today.
The following story manifests my feelings when I visit a store and the item I need is not there. I found it satisfying to write. Perhaps by reading it, you can also find a degree of satisfaction in the fact that Mrs. Delancy speaks for all of us.
Wipes by John W. Howell © 2025
“We are out of wipes again, Jerry.”
“We are always out of wipes. We can’t keep them in stock.”
“Is there a run on those things or what?”
“I think there might be some kind of manufacturing problem.”
“You would think if we could get a bunch of celebrities into space, we could get enough wipes.”
“So what are we going to do, boss?”
“Put a sign on the shelf and let everyone know we are out.”
“They can see that for themselves.”
“Okay, then make the sign read that the warehouse is out of wipes.”
“I guess that will keep people from complaining to us.”
“Excuse me.”
“Yes, Mrs. Delancy. What can we do for you?”
“You are out of wipes.”
“Yes, we know.”
“This is the third week. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, but it’s been three weeks.”
“Well, we did have them in on Monday.”
“I wasn’t here Monday. I shop on Thursday.”
“I know Mrs. Delancy, I just wanted you to know it hasn’t been three weeks.”
“It has been three weeks for me. Three Thursdays in a row- no wipes.”
“We are sorry. The warehouse is out of wipes.”
“The warehouse?”
“Yes, they are out of wipes.”
“And that makes it okay, how?”
“What do you mean?”
“I need my wipes. Little FiFi makes messes, and I need the wipes.”
“How about paper towels?”
“You getting smart with me?”
“No, I just was presenting an alternative.”
“Do paper towels have a lovely lavender scent?”
“No, I—”
“You’re damn right they don’t.”
“No use getting upset, Mrs Delancy. I’m just trying to help.”
“If you want to help, you would get some wipes.”
“If the warehouse is out of them, what would you have me do?”
“Call the head of your company and get him on the phone with the head of the wipe company and let them know I need my wipes of else.”
“Or else? Wait, what is that?”
“It is the actuator to the bomb I have planted in the wipes section. If you don’t do as I say, you can kiss your store goodbye.”
“You are joking, right?”
“A wipes consumer scorned never jokes. Now let’s go to the office and make the call.”
“Easy now. Don’t make a mistake.”
“We are way past that. The mistake was being out of wipes. Get moving. And you, Jerry. Don’t make any funny moves either.”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Delancy. I’ll stay right here while you and the boss take care of the problem.”
“You are a good boy, Jerry. I would stay out of the wipes aisle if I were you.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Fiction Favorites 
Damn, I just found I needed wipes too.
hugs
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A good reminder. Thanks, David. Hugs back.
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What is it with wipes? We take them for granted most of the time, but all hell can let loose if we run out!
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Tell me. With two dogs, running out is not an option. Thanks, Jaye. 😀
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No, we don’t like to run out either, John…
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Not a good feeling.😊
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Dear John
We need wipes all the time. It’s a disaster when they are out.
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I do know about that. Twiggy and Tempeste make running out a disaster. I hope you have a super week F4oC.
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Oh, I’ve met people like that! For his own good, they better NEVER be out of wipes again!!
[I think you get extra points for the 18 or so times you said ‘wipes’.]
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, GP. I’ll take those extra points. 😀
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Wipes are a necessity. Maybe we should start hoarding them, just in case.
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I would. Hit Costco for a ton.
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I’d just walk away and let her blow up. If we aren’t allowed to stop shoplifters, I doubt we can take on mad bombers.
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Ha ha ha. Good strategy, Charles.
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Well, no more Mrs Nice Guy!
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Nope. The line is drawn.
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So what is it called
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What is what called?
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I couldn’t cope without wipes! That’s definitely time to take a stand, John.
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She is doing that for sure. Thanks, Esther.
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My goodness, I never knew wipes were a ‘thing’. Hmm, I buy mine in a large box from Costco. I don’t know how many wipe packages are in the box, but I might buy an extra box — just in case. 😄
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Yes, I think that is a good idea for sure. Thanks, Gwen.
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I fear we have become far to dependent on wipes. Apparently, some more than others. Yikes!
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You are so right.
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Only one kind I use. The rest is done with rags and paper towels.
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😊
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Wipes are important and why I order mine online… lol
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An excellent idea, Denise.
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Wipes are useful, but bomb the store because they’re out of them?
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Hey, Mrs. Delancy reached a breaking point. Being told it is a warehouse problem when one of her favorite items has been missing for a few trips put her over the edge.
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These lines — “We are way past that. The mistake was being out of wipes.” — just too good, John. Thanks for a much-needed giggle. Poor little FiFi!!
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Thank you, Debbie. I’m glad you like the piece. Yes, poor FiFi.
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That escalated quickly. A very passionate wipes user. 😊
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Yes, it did get out of hand quickly. Thanks, Pete.
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Oh my! She certainly takes this seriously. 🙂 It’s frustrating to find something you regularly buy out of stock, but it seems to be typical for the new world we live in. Great response to the prompt!
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It is the store maanger’s excuses that always get me. I would like to hear once, “WE FORGOT TO ORDER IT!”
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Mrs Delancy is serious about her wipes!!
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She sure is. 😀
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Were you wiped out after writing about such a plausible, but exasperating fictional character?
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No, it came pretty naturally since her emotions were mine. 😀.
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Mrs. Delancey turns into Rambo when she doesn’t get what she wants. Check that, I don’t think Rambo would be messing with her.
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He would cross the street for sure. 😀
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LOL
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😊
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Ahh, yes…I remember why I hated being in retail! Whenever I remember those days and my right eye starts twitching. 🤣 Great job with the wipes challenge.
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I have a twitch in my right eye as well. Like yesterday, when pulling into a handicapped spot only to find a Range Rover parked on the hashmarks, trapping me inside my car. Love privilege. (I know that had nothing to do with retail but your twitch comment made me want to unload that story.) 😀
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Ugh…yeah, that’d send me and my twitching eye into orbit. I used to have a supply of “Thanks Rock Star for your lousy park job” notes in my car but with everyone these days having a hair trigger reaction whenever they’re called out for boorish and/or inconsiderate behavior, I decided best to no longer share them. But you can bet your sweet bippy I loudly criticize in my car…with the windows rolled up. Hey, I’m no ordinary fool. 😉
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Ha ha ha. I’m glad there is no recording device in my car. 😀
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We can only hope. My poor mother (gawd rest her soul) would be horrified by my sailor expletives!
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Ha ha ha. Mine too.
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I wondered where that word would take you. 🤔 Mrs. Delancy likes ’em fancy. 🪻
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She does. Better not cross her.
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😨
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😊
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Oh, Mrs. Delancey, wouldn’t it be easier to find a cleaning spray with a lovely lavender scent than to go down the other path?
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Maybe easier for you, Mr. Williams, but I know what I want and will get it.
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When I can’t find something at HEB and the checker asks if I found everything, I am tempted to growl that I did not. I am not as bold as Mrs. Delancey but I can relate to your depiction of the situation. Do you use wipes for the girls?
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I once told a checker what I didn’t find. She looked at me with that deer-in-the-headlights look and said, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” That was the last time I mentioned it.
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I feel her annoyance, big time.
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Me Too. 😀
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