A rough night calls for a smooth coffee. Mine is made, and adding half and half turns the dark brew to the color of toast. The first sip signals the brain that we are indeed going to survive, and it can now lay down the hammer. Once my head recovered from the clanging low caffeine warning, a new threat arose instantly with the Westminster chime rendition of the doorbell. A toss of a plush toy into the soundproof room and slamming the door put an end to the baying of Igor’s hounds in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste.
The security camera could not pick up the idiot who cannot read the “do not ring the doorbell” note above it. “Who’s there?” is the challenge. “Letter for J. Howell,” the reply. The suggestion of leaving it on the porch was met with the age-old excuse of needing a signature. While thinking of all the times a signature was not required on items like proton torpedoes and machine guns, the security system shutdown is initiated.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Standing there is a little mouse who looks very much like Jerry from the cartoons. His clipboard is bigger than he is. He shoves it towards me, and my signature is recorded. He hands me the letter and sticks out his hand er paw. A classic quest for a tip. “Value experiences over possessions,” is my tip. Slamming the door and opening the envelope, I see it is from Linda Hill. It reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “toast.” Use it as a noun, use it as a verb, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.
https://lindaghill.com/2025/08/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-30-2025/
Toast by John W. Howell © 2025
“You know there will be comments about slamming the door in the face of a cartoon icon.”
“You tell me what you tip a cartoon. Ink? Paper? Or what?”
“I would have gone for a piece of cheese and a slice of toast.”
“You just said that to get in the prompt word.”
“Maybe, but at least the cheese would have been nice.”
“This may surprise you, but I don’t carry cheese around in my pocket.”
“Short distance to the fridge.”
“And what? Leave the front door unprotected.”
“You been smoking weed?”
“No, why?”
“I sense a little paranoia.”
“Well. You know how I am about security.”
“Yeah, we all know.”
“What about the Uber?”
“It’s over there, but maybe we should get some armed guards to go with us.”
“Stop it. Over where?”
“There.”
photo by Resa McConaghy
“You have to be kidding me.”
“See that bench on the front. That’s for us.”
“That’s a giant flower pot.”
“True, but all we have to do is remove the brick and be on our way. Here, take these goggles.”
“What are they for?”
“Bugs.”
“Bugs?”
“Yeah, you don’t want bugs in your eyes, and I would keep your mouth closed as well.”
“How does the dribe see?”
“His problem, not ours. Let’s go.”
“I hope this works.”
“Small sacrifice for a VooDoo Ranger.”
Fiction Favorites 
Oh, you got to be kidding me!! You drive around in that and You’ll be toast!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m glad the June bugs are gone. 😀 Thanks, GP.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi John
We were always afraid that Uber meant trouble.
Happy weekend
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sure looks like that today. Thanks, Klausbernd, and happy weekend to the F4oC
LikeLiked by 1 person
To borrow from the classic ’70’s song, the things we do for Voodoo . . .
And really, cheese comes and goes for life advice lasts forever. But the idea of carrying food around in your pocket got me thinking about the Milwaukee Brewers manager. He carries pancakes around in his pocket in case he gets hungry. You ever hear anything so crazy in your life? I mean . . . pancakes! Without syrup!
As for the Uber, I foresee a faceplant if you take that ride. Pun intended.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Love the pun, Pilgrim. I think you have a genius gene. Thanks for the laugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a peerless pal and his name is Sheriff. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too mix up my cat-toon characters, A toast and a Suffering Succotash to this episode.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Pat. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Talk about a biofuel vehicle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Good one, Charles.
LikeLike
I would have tipped him, John. Mice are pretty clever about finding ways into a house – security measures may not be effective.
Looks like you’re in for an interesting ride. I hope there are no sudden stops.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t see any seat belts, so you are right.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think the Uber beautification project worked out very well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have to agree. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Now I have a case of the giggles. Hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Giggles are fun. Thanks, Teagan. Hugs back.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A “toast” to your creativity. Something tells me your ride could be infested with Jerry’s friends.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll bet that’s true, and now I wish I had tipped him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Avoiding an expensive tip for the prompt delivery is logical. Can the driver of the flower pot see where it’s going?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was my question. I don’t think so. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pull up a few weeds from the garden and the driver will see just fine. Groovy, man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lois. I think you have the answer. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG, what an Uber. I doubt you’re going anywhere! If you did, you’d be toast, but then you’d probably try anything for a VoodDoo Ranger!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would try anything. Thanks, Noelle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was worth the price of admission! A cheesy post with a great flower pot car. Love the colors! 🩷🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Cindy. Glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure! 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think that car actually goes anywhere. You may need to call for a beer delivery this time. I liked the tip.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you may have a point, Deborah.
LikeLike
Sipping my cuppa java the colour of toast, your post certainly put a smile on my face…love the car!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad you enjoyed it, Oliana. Greta to here. Also, thank you for adding Circumstances of Childhood to your sidebar. 😊
LikeLike
That’s a once-in-a-lifetime ride! At least you don’t have to prune the garden while riding. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
And have to hope there is no poison ivy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True! I stay aware of that threat when I’m visiting Sammi.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊 🌿
LikeLiked by 1 person
Goggles for sure! I bet it would be a fun ride. 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Gwen. Glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha I saw you mentioned gamma ray beams, maser guns and nanorobots.
It is very annoying when a signature is required for things that does not really require a signature. If you get served, yeah, but I’ve received requests for charitable donations that required a signature. On top of it I was not home and they did not say from whom it was. I had to go to the post office to pick up a donation request. I did not donate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you saw them. I would not have donated either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Standing rule is alway generously tip the mouse plus point them toward a tasty looking place, preferably way WAY down the road.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poor little mouse, but don’t come to my house! (even if you are a celebrity mouse)
I just have to say, you are Pretty cheap with the tips. W.C. Fields comes to mind. – John W.C. Howell.
I know the 2 of you are dying to get to the VooDoo pub to toast toast, or to toast toasting. Don’t worry! That Uber will get you there in the year 2525.
Please remember to stop and water the car, if it hasn’t rained for a couple of days.
Have a great 500 years! Or..500 OXen.
ⅮẊ ⅮẊ ⅮẊ ⅮẊ ⅮẊ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. We actually had to carry the car. Yes, it got watered and fed. W.C Fields was one of my comic heroes when I was a kid. My favorite line was, “On safari in Afghanistan and lost my cork screw. Had to survive on food and water for eight weeks.” 🤣X
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
🤣X 🤣X 🤣X 🤣X
LikeLiked by 1 person
🏆
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poor little, Jerry. Mind you, he is used to abuse, isn’t he?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so. 😄
LikeLike
John, you were at your funniest here. I had to read the post twice to laugh again and again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw. Thank you, Jennie. I appreciate you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure, John. And thank you!
LikeLike
Haha! Riding around in that vehicle and you just might need a mosquito net hat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so too. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I think whether the driver can see would be a big problem for you, too … lol … much worse than the lovebugs 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. We finally ended up carrying the car to the pub.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person