The coffee machine flashes a sign on the touch pad. “Clean me or go to a hotel for coffee.” Punching the “clean” button was the better alternative. Yes, the wait was 20 minutes, but it was well worth it. Holding a fresh hot cup of coffee with its curative vapors was my reward. A careful hoist of the cup and one sip plugged the hole that metaphorically appeared in my skull. No sooner done than someone brought home the stupidity of a doorbell. The Westminster chimes triggered the protective instincts of Twiggy and Tempeste. Their defense systems engaged at full volume and pitch, which potentially could make ears bleed.
A toss of a handful of kibble into the soundproof room, followed by the slamming of the door, brought a sweet peace from the hounds back to the valley. Checking the security monitor for the infidel stupid enough to ignore the “Do not ring the doorbell” sign, a horrific sight met my eyes. It was none other than the Tasmanian Devil holding a letter and drooling on my front porch. No need to go through the hoops of asking him to drop it there, since from experience, Tasmanian Devils are short on conversation.
With a sigh, I begin the security shutdown process. The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
The devil begins to spin, and my weak “Howdy” goes unanswered. The letter flies from his hand and falls to my feet. From inside the tornado comes a spinning paw. No doubt an attempt to hound me for a tip. Scooping up the letter, I shout: “A soft answer turns away wrath…mine is No!” and slam the front door. It is a good thing the door is made of steel, since it sounds like the Devil hopes to tear it down.
The letter contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with ‘ho.’” Find a word that begins with the letters “ho” and use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2025/09/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-6-2025/
Ho by John W. Howell © 2025
“You got a lot of ho words in there.”
“Thanks.”
“You missed one.”
“Don’t go there.”
“Where?”
“You know where.”
“Ah, homie, you know me too well.”
“Since the intro took way too many words, let’s cut to the chase.”
“Uber is over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“Wow. A 1955 Chevy Bel Aire Coupe. What a honey.”
“Yeah, that is the real deal. Looks like someone hoarded that puppy.”
“There has to be a catch.”
“Not that I know about.”
“Okay then. Let’s go.”
“There is one thing.”
“You said no catch.”
“It’s not a catch exactly.”
“Tell me.”
“We have to wax it first.”
“Sounds like a catch to me.”
“No, here’s the wax. It says just apply and wipe off.”
“Do you know how many hours that will take?”
“With two of us? On my honor, no more than twenty minutes.”
“Okay then. Twenty minutes, tops.”
“Trust me.”
“That concerns me.”
Fiction Favorites 
Dear John
Funny, we waxed our car as well yesterday. With washing first, it took a little longer than twenty minutes. And it’s not a Chevy but a Volvo.
When Kb was a kid, he had this car as a model to play with.
Have a great weekend
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Vintage Volvos are very classy. I remember one in the 50s that looked like a Ford sedan. 😀
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We love our Volvos, a classic and a modern XC40.
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😊
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Don’t believe him, John, I’ve never seen a car waxed in 20 minutes!
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Thanks, GP. I agree with you. 😀
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If Taz cuts through a wall, John, he might let all the other critters you stiffed get in. This could be dangerous. Good job on the prompt. I thought Linda had given you a perfect out.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dan 😆
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I wanna stay away from the Tasmanian Devil. Simply because he never says a word and well . . I have no idea whether he’s overjoyed or enraged.
As for your story, you got the ho in there in the top of the first inning and then cruised home in that beauty of a ride. Methinks the twenty minute investment in time will be well worth it. Hey, it worked for the coffee machine . . .
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I just hope it will be twenty minutes. I have a feeling it will be longer. Sometimes I wonder how I get roped into these things. Good thing it’s fiction. Cheer time tonight. 😊
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You’re a mensch who loves his Voodoo.
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😀
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HOnestly HOw does John HOwell keep HOming in on this HOrsepocky? Fun Stream today.🤯🤪🤣🙃
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😀 Thanks, Pat
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I think you earned your Bentley parts today.
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Thank you, Craig. Got a whole set of lug nuts now. 😀
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Is hotel coffee really that bad?
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I think the machine was being rude.
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I love the whole prompt introduction. Lol. =)
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Thank you for the compliment, Ms. Wong. So glad to hear.😊
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A Chevy Bel Air was the first car I remember my dad driving. Loved it. When I moved down here to Florida, my next-door neighbor had the exact same car. I knew I was meant to be here. You missed a spot on that wax job. 😉
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Yeah, thanks on the spot. I was 14 when the 55s hit. Loved them.
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Good thing the devil couldn’t tear through your door, John. The Chevy looks shiny to me. Another coat of wax could make it shinier, I guess. Have a good weekend.
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I thought the same, Tim. The driver insisted. I think he knew he had two sucker faces. 😀
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😀
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And another stellar SoCS post. Can’t say I’ve waxed a car before…don’t think I want to try here. It’s always hot in North Carolina. 😂
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Yes, shade is a must for sure. Thanks, Laura.
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Why can’t the “clean me” happen after the last cup? We always get caught when the need for caffeine is greatest!
I might consider removing the doorbell, but then, something tells me a knock on the door might get the hounds howling regardless 😉
I think waxing that beauty will be worth taking the long way to the VooDoo!
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If I remove the doorbell, then 25% of my Saturday post will go away too. I agree with the “Clean Me” notice. Thanks, Dale. (Still waxing here)
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I know it. And I wrote and said to myself… don’t be silly! I bet you are!!
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😊
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I actually remember that car – my uncle had one and drove himself and his family down to visit us each summer.
Do you think just a handful of kibble would quiet the girls?
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Yes, they love kibble.
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Give them a bowlful.
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Ha ha ha. They thank you for the thought
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At the risk of showing my age and mistaken lack of couth you might consider replacing the visitor announcement system with technology from an earlier age. Say the era of Young Frankenstein. Of course with appropriate disclaimers that the mechanism is historically accurate and of course no visitors were harmed in its operation. And of course a disclaimer that any resemblances to Frau Blücher is purely coincidental. With a little cooperation from Linda you might even get a more welcome delivery agent. Just sayin… with a pseudo Transylvanian accent.
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All good suggestions, John. I’m sure everyone would appreciate the potential humor by replacing the technology with two huge knockers. May have to think on this over a VooDoo Ranger. Here are three fingers of bourbon for you. 😊
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I just want a ride in that Chevy! lol 😂
Dan sure has a lot of cars! 🚘
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He is my number one scout for enjoyable rides. 😀
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Spinning and drooling at the same time are not a good combo. The Uber makes up for it, though.
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Spinning and drooling can make a mess. Thanks, Liz.
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You’re welcome, John.
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That is a beauty of a car and the “catch” would itself be more of a reward than a task.
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I waxed many cars in my youth. I can say there is satisfaction in completing the project. 😊
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homie and honey are both good words starting with “ho”. I have to say that your security system never ceases to impress me and entertain me even though I am reminded of it every week. I certainly would not like to be a burglar in your house. If everyone had your security system all the burglars would have to file for unemployment.
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I have inside lasers as well. They detect movement. I turn them off when I get up.
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I have to admit. That is so cool.
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😊
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Ho ho ho … good one, John!!!
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Thank you, Jill.
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A coffee machine with an attitude…love it, John. Happy Saturday.
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Thank you, Monika. Happy Sunday to you.
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Another great response to the prompt, John. Unbelievably, your story prompted a memory of helping my dad wax the family car. That’s going back seven decades! 😄
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Wow, Gwen. So glad to prompt a memory like that. 😀
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Only 20 minutes? Hmm…doubtful. Great job on the prompt, John.
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Very doubtful. Took hours.
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I bet it did! But so worth the Uber ride in that great car.
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The horror, the horror .. of waxing. And I don’t mean the moon!
Have lots of fun waxing intellectually, while the VooDoo goes down!
🌔X 🌒X
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Ha ha ha. 🤣X
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🤣X 🤣X
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😊X
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🏆
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🏆
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Lol! That darn coffee machine can test a man’s patience. Great response to the prompt, John. But what a sweet Uber ride!
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Thank you, Jan. 😊
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Well I am glad there are no Tazmain Devils grurling om my door step!!
i hope the car got polished toot suite and you got your well deserved Voodoo Warriors! 💜💜💜
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It was finally finished, and yes, the VooDoo Rangers were waiting and willing. Thanks, Willow.
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Excellent news John I was concerned!
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Aw. How sweet. Thanks, Willow.
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🤗🤗🤗
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Nicely played! That’s a great looking car.
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I thought so too, Deborah. Thank you.😊
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You’re welcome!
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😊
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