The joke is on me. Thinking that another disaster was forming with the coffee machine, a standby plan was put into place. The machine sat in darkness, with no sign of life. The first part of the plan was to run through the checklist of operations to diagnose the problem. Water? Check. Beans? Check. Turned on? Check. Plugged in? Oops. Well, there you are. The machine was not plugged in. In short order, that problem was rectified. The sounds and aroma filled the room. Salvation is at hand. The healing elixir pours forth into my cup. One sip, and the ever-present Westminster Chime of the doorbell triggers the Cerberus twins, in the form of Twiggy and Tempeste, to take up the ear-piercing, end-of-the-world warning. A toss of an organic knuckle bone into the soundproof room and a slam of the door bring back normalcy and silence.
Checking the security monitor, a rabbit is holding a sign. The sign reads Envelope for Howell. Need to sign. Tips appreciated. With a sigh, the security shut-down process began.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
“Eh, what’s up, Doc?” The rabbit hands me a clipboard and asks for a signature on the line marked with carrot juice. After signing, he hands me an envelope and holds out his free hand, paw. A clear sign that a tip is expected. My tip for the day was articulated to the bunny before slamming the door. “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”
The envelope is from Linda Hill. Inside is the message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “joke.” Use it as you see fit. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2025/10/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-4-2025/
Joke by John W. Howell © 2025
“Well, that was another tour through your madness.”
“I guess you could call it that.”
“Why don’t you just tip those messengers with money?”
“I think it is more fun to lay out a philosophical one-liner.”
“Well, maybe for you.”
“Besides, how is a cartoon character going to spend a tip?”
“Hmm. Never thought of it that way.”
“Also, I could add how a figment of my imagination is going to drink Voo Doo Rangers.”
“Hey, you hold on there, my friend. First of all, I’m no figment. Second of all, I can drink a ton of Voo Doo Rangers.”
“A ton? Don’t you mean a liquid measure like a barrel?”
You know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do. I was just pulling your leg. A joke as it were. You are a real as it comes.”
“Aw, thanks. Uber is over there.”
“A classic with custom wheels.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure, but it looks like a 1970 Mercedes 300D SEL.”
“You got me. All I know is there is room for both of us.”
“And we only have to make one stop.”
“One stop?”
“Yeah. The guy is also an Uber Eats delivery person.”
“So what is he delivering?”
“Chickens.”
“Chickens? How is that possible?”
“Well, a farmer needs some more chickens, and Uber Eats delivers anything.”
“So when we get to the pub, we will smell like chickens?”
“You know the pub. No one will notice. Let’s go.”
Fiction Favorites 
I loved the coffee machine routine, John…
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Thank you, Jaye. So glad you liked it. 😊
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You don ‘t have to be mad. . . but highly imaginative? YES. Well done, TEE HEE. Joy xx
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Thank you so much, Joy. 😊
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Dear John
My father had this car. I was sometimes allowed to drive it. It’s too beautiful a car to transport life chickens in it.
Happy weekend
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I agree on the live chickens. Good thing this is fiction. Happy Weekend to the F4oC.
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I’ve been in that kind of pub. I hope you can enjoy the Rangers. I do think you could have tossed a carrot to the messenger, but that was a fine bit of wisdom.
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All our carrots are reserved for deer, so it was the best I could do. 😆
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Send him up here. We don’t have any deer.
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Ha ha ha. Told bugs to pay a visit.
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When the journey is happening in a cool ride like this, it’s all good. Even if the chickens have to be delivered first. As for the pub, I think they are good with patrons who pay their tab, no matter what they smell like.
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I agree with the pub summary. So off we go, stinking to high heaven. 😀
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Well there IS the trunk for live cargo. Potentially, of course. 😆
P.S. LOVED the tip.
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I think they would be okay in there in cages. I’m glad you loved the tip. I did too. 😀
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Yahooooooooooooooo!
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🐎
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Whoa, the pub must be quite the dive if chicken odor won’t be detected!!
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Just don’t do the chicken dance GP. 😆
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😀
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haha, I’s be cut up, deep fried and put out for hors d’oeuvres at happy hour!
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😀
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It’s one of those places that has a screen separating the performance stage from the patrons. This will give you an idea. https://youtu.be/-Fulz4ytZ54?list=RD-Fulz4ytZ54
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Yup, I saw the chicken wire. Almost looks like a bar I once worked! LOL
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🤣
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Nowadays not sure if the jokes are the comedians or the politicians. Except the comedians are a lot easier to cancel.
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So true.
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“No one will notice.” 🤣 Great line, John, and great story!
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Thank you, Gwen. Glad you enjoyed it. Wishing you a peaceful weekend.😊
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Smelling like chickens might be an improvement. It could also make the other drunks hungry, so they order more wings.
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Might need to get a fried chicken cologne.
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Great story, John! I’m happy you’re back in the saddle. You were missed!
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Thank you, Jim. 😊
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haha! Reminded me of that line in Space Balls–“What’s the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken?”
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🤣
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It’s good the coffee machine is working. Riding with chickens to the pub should be okay, as long as they don’t poop on you.
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Yes. Avoiding chicken poop is a good thing.
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Aww, poor Bugs Bunny, getting snark instead of the expected coinage.
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Yup. Poor guy.
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I look forward to reading your Saturday coffee machine, and the stand down procedures prior to opening the door and introducing the challenge word. No joke!
Have a great weekend.
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Thank you.
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There’s always a catch with those handy uber rides. 🙂 Fun one, John. And good point about tipping a cartoon character. Thanks for the chuckle.
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I’m glad you got a chuckle. Thanks, Jan.
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“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” – I think that is a great quote. The rabbit should be happy to receive that as a tip. By the way, yesterday evening I drank a VooDoo Rangers Imperial IPA. I like that one.
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That is all I drink of the Voo Doo’s
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I have to admit I thought you drank different ones
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Nope. Just the Imperial. I need a robust one, and the others are a little too thin.
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Well, the the Imperial is a good one for sure.
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😊
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That would be so fun to drive! Your first sentence. 😄👍🏻
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Thank you. 😊
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The yolk’s on you, buddy.
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Darned seagulls
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Resa’s Tip
Never judge a book by its cover, unless there’s a gown on it!
And that’s no joke.
O💃🏽 O💃🏽
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Good advice. 😀X
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🌟X
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🏆X
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Big smiles here, John, even if you smell like chicken. 😀
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Thank you, Jennie. 😊
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You’re welcome.
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