Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash
This post was first published on December 30th, 2013, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. I think it may still be good advice.
Top Ten Things Not to Do on New Year’s Eve
10. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to consume everything in the city. If you do, at best, you may gain a few pounds. At worst, you will never ever feel better again.
9. On New Year’s Eve, do not think everyone is in love with you. If you do, at best, you may get a new roommate. At worst, you may wake up next to a stranger who is now your spouse.
8. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to scream “Happy New Year” more than once. If you do, at best, you will lose your voice. At worst, someone may in fact put a sock in it.
7. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to invent and issue resolutions for everyone else. If you do, at best, you will lose some friends. At worst, your host may resolve to ban you to the patio.
6. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to help others drink more. If you do, at best, you may be the last person standing. At worst, you may be named as a co-defendant on a DUI.
5. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to give everyone a kiss. If you do, at best, they will all think you are a nerd. At worst, you may pick up a nice case of bubonic plague.
4. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to sing “Auld Lang Syne.” If you do, at best, your off-key rendition will be recorded for playback when you are sober. At worst, you’ll not know the words and remove all doubt as to your IQ.
3. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to tell everyone exactly what you think of them. If you do, at best, a few will want to take you outside. At worst, several will.
2. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to remove some of your clothes to be more comfortable. If you do, at best, you may not know when to stop. At worst, there could be additional records of your lack of discretion that you will need to pay handsomely to squelch.
1. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to get behind the wheel of a car after you have won the shots per hour contest. If you do it, at best you will end up in jail. At worst, you might just hurt someone.
Fiction Favorites 
Still a good list, John, Especially #1.
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Thanks, Dan.
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If only more people listened to #1. It’s why I’m always nervous about staying out later than midnight.
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I am as well. Usually, nothing good happens after midnight.
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What? No mention of fireworks or shooting guns into the air? Now I’m wondering if we live in very different neighborhoods, or if customs have changed so much in the past decade-plus!
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My neighborhood has fireworks and shooting guns in the air on New Year’s Eve. 🤬
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We do too. Causes everyone anxious moments.
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No, I think all those things still happen, but there is no way a list is going to stop them.
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My husband and I stay in the house on New Year’s Eve!!
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We do too. 😊
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Good list, John. I would add end up dead to the last one! Hubs and I stopped going anywhere for New Year’s years ago and are usually in bed by 10:30. I never thought it was something to lose sleep over!
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We do the same and then wake up to a New Year.
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The Monk hates fireworks, so I usually stay home and leave the rowdiness to everybody else. Good list, John.
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Good idea. I do the same.
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Timeless advice, yes! 👍🏻 Thank you for sharing, with added humor. Wishing you and yours a cheery last week of December and a blessed new year. 🥂
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Thank you, Michele. Wishing you a Very Happy New Year. 🎉
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Thank you very much, John. 🥳
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😊
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Hahahaha I won’t strip down and scare anyone.. promise.. lol
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I won’t either. Thanks, Cindy.
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I’ll certainly take all your wise advice this New Year’s Eve, John.
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Thank you, Esther. Makes me feel useful. 😁
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Imaginative list. Now we go out early for dinner and if we may awake by accident at Midnight, but have been to bed for several hours by then. Please don’t break any of your own rules, John.
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I’m long gone before midnight. I’ve broken all the rules I’m going to break in this lifetime. 😊
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I will try to avoid the Bubonic Plaque. May you avoid it as well. Happy New Year!
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Thank you, Brenda. Happy New Year. 😀
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Well thought out and almost smacks of the voice of experience.
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Ha ha ha. Could be.
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