Coffee first, then face the day. The low caffeine warning light is blinking behind my eyes. A touch of the two-coffee icon on the touchscreen starts the process that delivers eight ounces of life-saving goodness. One sip and the red warning begins to fade. A second sip, and the chimes of Westminster announce another idiot who cannot read the Do Not Ring the Doorbell sign. Don’t get me started on how annoying the chimes coupled with Twiggy and Tempeste threatening the integrity of the window glass with their warning to stay away. A couple of new stuffed toys tossed into the soundproof room, and a slam of the door puts an end to the ear-bleeding “bark them to St. Lewis” cacophony of the two.
A glance at the security monitor shows an image of a Porky Pig look-alike. A back-and-forth discussion determines the need for a signature on an envelope delivery. (Of course) With a sigh, the security shutdown process is begun.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
The pig hands me a clipboard, and after signing, he hands me an envelope. He also holds out a cloven hoof in the classic sign that a tip is expected. “Stay away from smokehouses,” was my tip to him as I slammed the door.
The envelope is from Linda Hill, and inside is the following message. Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 10th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “don’t get me started.” Use the phrase in your post or just write about the first thing it conjures in your mind. Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2026/01/09/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2026-daily-prompt-for-jan-10th/
Don’t Get Me Started by John W. Howell © 2026
“Do you have something against the pig?”
“Don’t get me started. It’s not the pig, it’s the idea of barking dogs and having to open that front door for deliveries.”
“One of your astute readers made the suggestion that you disconnect the doorbell.”
“I guess that would put the Saturday feature out of business.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, as much as I hate the doorbell, there are those who like to read about shutting down the security system.”
“I like that myself.”
“See. So how can I get rid of the doorbell?”
“I see your point.”
“Anyway. A couple of VooDoo Rangers and the whole thing is forgotten.”
“Now you are talking.”
“Uber?”
“Over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“That’s a 1951 F-1Ford pick-up.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know.”
“What’s the catch?”
“Boy. Cut to the chase.”
“There is a catch, right?”
“Small one.”
“Let’s have it.”
“We have to wash the truck after the pub visit.”
“That’s not too bad.”
“The owner is very particular.”
“I still think we can do it.”
“Okay then. Here’s your toothbrush.”
“Tooth brush?”‘
“Yeah for the wheels.”
“Oh my.”
“I have to use this special cloth.”
“Let’s just go. After a couple of Voo Doo’s, we won’t care.”
“Now you’re talking.
Fiction Favorites 
Loved the story, the change up in the shutdown sequence, and your use of donsciousness. Was that deliberate or accidental?
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Ha ha ha. Big Typo there.
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Fixed it.
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Fair enough. It was fun since the use of Donroe Document made the headlines–did not think this was your normal brand of humor. Maybe a Freudian slip…
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Might have been. Who knows. It is funny in retrospect.
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Love that you used a picture of young ‘Mater from ‘Cars’. 😀
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I suppose it would violate something to end with “Th-Th-Th-That’s all, folks!” Oops. “S-s-s-s-sorry boss.”
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Y-y-y-yes. Not authorized. Haven’t paid a royalty.
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John, you need a robotic hand that comes out and grabs the SOCS prompt from the hand of the intruder and delivers it to you inside without having to cage the Targs and call off SWAT. Just a thought…
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A great idea. I think a few readers might not like that, though. Thanks, Mary.
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Very enjoyable, John. Now that is one sparkling car. I can see why a toothbrush is required!
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Yes. We need to get into every nook and cranny.
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The owner of the vehicle sounds like my dad 🤣
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Ha ha ha. 😊
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Yikes…please don’t disconnect the doorbell. While I can appreciate the trouble of overriding the lockdown procedure, your readers absolutely love these posts. If only people and cartoon characters would follow the admonishment to NOT ring the doorbell but if they heeded the instruction, us readers would lose out on that front too. Maybe wear earmuffs as the coffee fills your cup…after dispatching the pups to the sound proof room. 😉 Have a great weekend, John.
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Thanks for the encouraging words, Monika. Have a great weekend too,
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Not a bad tip for Porky, John. At least you didn’t have him as bacon. Washing the Uber truck might be fun after a couple of Voo Doo Rangers.
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The Voo Doos would certainly ease the burden.
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Good to see you’re back to no tips and an insult! As for the Uber, sign me up! I’d love to drive around the neighborhood waving at everyone. Even the toothbrush is not discouraging as long as I am well oiled!
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Thank you, Noelle. Well oiled is the place to be while washing this machine.
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The washing might be worth it for a ride in that beauty.
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I agree. Thanks, Craig
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Draw the line at dental flossing the tire treads!
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Yeah, you don’t have to do that. Just make sure the wheels sparkle.
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Oh no, not the pig.. ha!
Thank god for the Voo Doo’s lol
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Yes. The Voo Doos are important.
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“Twiggy and Tempeste threatening the integrity of the window glass” – Ha ha that is some barking. I hope they are not threating the integrity of your Voodoo Rangers.
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I have to make sure they never bark near the bottles. Who knows what could happen?
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Ha ha, yes don’t let that happen
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You make a good point, Thomas!
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Pretty sure my buddy has the same pickup. He treats it as lovingly as his wife. It’s sky blue.
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Lovely, Pete
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That’s a very handsome antique pickup truck.
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Isn’t it?
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Wow…that would be a memorable drive! Fun dialogue, John.
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Thank you, Gwen.
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