I’m so happy to have Jacqui visit once again to give you some information about her new book which is book three in the Savage Land series. So without much delay, here is Jacqui.
I ran into John Howell online at some point in the past because we are both besotted by our dogs. John does a great series about his two dogs called “A Little Personal” where he looks at the world through their eyes. Really, I’m telling you, blog reading doesn’t get much better.
But that’s not what inspired me for this article to launch my latest prehistoric fiction, Balance of Nature, the third book in the trilogy about Neanderthals. John also does a great series on “10 Things Not To Do” and then discusses what you shouldn’t do with your Thanksgiving turkey, when trying to get published, when signing up for online dating, and similar. I thought it would be fun to apply that to my Neanderthals. What is the best way to interact with them? I came up with a lot of good suggestions in case you end up time-traveling 40,000 years into the past:
Top Ten Things NOT to do When You Meet a Neanderthal
10 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not be surprised that they don’t speak English, Spanish, or any other modern language. If you are surprised, at best, you might try gestures. At worst, their language–like Latin–is no longer spoken, so that you might drag out your Pictionary skills
9 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not try to fix your broken store-bought spear. If you do, at best, you will be pitied, and the Neanderthal will fix it. He’ll boil up some bark over a fire. Turn it into glue and reattach the tip to your spear or create an entirely new one. At worst, he will invite you home for a nice, boiled snake dinner.
8 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not miss the chance to pick the Neanderthal for your natural navigation team. He can’t read maps or written instructions, but he reads nature like no one you’ve met. If you are lost, the Neanderthal will know how to get you back to where you need to be, even if he’s never been there before. If you do miss the chance, at best, you may wander in the wilderness forever. At worst, you’ll be eaten by a big, hungry animal.
7 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not try to hide. If you do, at best, he has a cold. At worst, he’ll sniff you out, follow your trace, and find you, and not be in the best of moods either.
6 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not tell them there’s something he can’t do that needs doing. If you do, at best, he’ll figure it out. At worst, he will now believe you are an idiot.
5 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not be surprised. Neanderthals don’t complain–not about extreme cold, debilitating hunger, dangerous predators, loneliness, or anything else. They intrinsically realize it does no good. If you are surprised, at best, you may take that attitude for yourself. At worst, your concern about having no cell service will look pathetic.
4 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not try small talk. That doesn’t exist in their world. All conversations are to convey important information. Quiet is a friend. Human voices stand out in nature. If you do try small talk, at best, the sign of the finger on the lips should be enough. At worst, you may be left tied with vines to a tree and used for bait as your reward.
3 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not try to tell him the optimal location for a hearth in a cave. He knows where that is and how to dig ditches to deliver airflow to the fire. If you do try to tell him, at best, you’ll still be allowed to stay in the cave. At worst, you will be shivering outside in a foot of snow, listening to the stomach growl of the local half-starved meat eater.
2 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not tell him that you counted his tribe and one person is missing. He doesn’t need to count. He does it by a missing smell or the smaller size of the group. If you do try, at best, you will be ignored. At worst, the leader will give you some extra things to carry that don’t smell very nice and drip.
1 If you meet a Neanderthal, do not ask a Neanderthal if his life is boring. He has no concept of what that means. If you do ask, at best you’ll get a quizzical look. At worst, as you explain boredom, the Neanderthal will decide to see if you can outrun his spear.
Virtual Book Blast For
Savage Land Book 3, Balance of Nature
Summary
A tribe haunted by the past. Lies that threaten the future. A reason to find the truth.
Savage Land is the third trilogy about prehistoric man in the series, Man. Vs. Nature. Savage Land explores how two bands of humans survived one of the worst natural disasters in Earth’s history, when volcanic eruptions darkened the sky, massive tsunamis crossed the ocean in crushing waves, and raging fires burned the land. Viral tribes of Neanderthals and early man considered themselves apex predators, but that crown belonged to Nature, and she was intent on washing the two-legged blight from her lands. In Balance of Nature, Book Three of the trilogy, Yu’ung’s Neanderthal tribe hopes to settle at Gibraltar but instead finds unexpected threats and lethal challenges.
Follow the courageous Yu’ung, the determined Kazeb, the mystical Shanadar, and the pawed-and-clawed Canis as they navigate a perilous world of tribal conflict, unexplained visions, and shifting loyalties. Their journey is a testament to the resilience and strength of true leadership in a sweeping saga that ultimately leads to who we are today.
Excerpt
75,000 years ago
The area we now call Gibraltar
Shouts woke the brothers from their sleep.
“A boat—on the Endless Sea! Headed toward us!”
At night? How is that possible? But Kazeb didn’t ask because it didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was there.
He and Turk had waited long for this news, Kazeb with excitement, Turk with dread. Without discussion, they raced across the grassland, leapt over crevices, the width familiar even in the dark, and then scrambled up Big Rock’s knobby flank, grabbing tiny ledges with their fingers and toes with a speed mountain goats would envy. The behemoth’s height dwarfed all hills on the peninsula save the distant, towering range that separated it from others.
The brothers summited the crest and crouched behind a thick patch of scrub at the cliff’s edge. The brisk breeze atop the promontory whipped Kazeb’s hair around. He clenched his fists, gritted his teeth so tightly he should have broken a tooth, and waited for the vague elongated shadow on the water’s inky surface to reveal its intentions.
Is it them? He glanced at his brother’s square face. Turk thinks it is.
Sun’s steady arrival slowly erased the dark, made the sea shimmer in shades of blue as waves crashed against the coastline. Just below the surface, under the foam, were sharp shoals. Any boat must tediously avoid these, better yet, continue down the shore where there was no risk, unless they knew of the sole safe mooring used by natives and those they shared the location with, like they did with the Tall Ones from long ago.
Turk hissed, “It’s them, Liis.”
The Clan called him Liis, but he preferred “Kazeb,” the name awarded him when he agreed to guide the Tall One Fierce to the sea’s end. That was far beyond anywhere he had ever traveled, but Fierce claimed Kazeb’s knowledge of the area was invaluable.
“We can’t tell who is onboard, Turk,” he said, though who else knew of the hidden cove?
Kazeb rose and scanned a full circle, hoping whoever came on that craft wasn’t looking up here.
“What are you doing, Liis?”
“I need to see if they’re alone, or do more come from other directions.”
Flat grassland bordered one flank of the promontory, water the rest. Sun’s earliest rays colored the sky in pinks and blues. Birds plummeted into the crystalline water. Fish with no desire to be food dove. Farther away, pigs rooted through the stubble and a herd of deer feasted on ever-abundant fresh young shoots, protected by the range of mountains from unexpected predators.
When we finish, that’s where we will go.
Book information:
Print, digital, audio soon available: http://a-fwd.com/asin=B0G45MFBWW
Genre: Prehistoric fiction
Editor: Anneli Purchase
Author bio:
Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular prehistoric fiction saga, Man vs. Nature which explores seminal events in man’s evolution one trilogy at a time. She is also author of the Rowe-Delamagente thrillers and Building a Midshipman , the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy. Her non-fiction includes 100+ books on tech into education, and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics.
Social Media contacts:
Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Jacqui-Murray/e/B002E78CQQ/
Blog: https://worddreams.wordpress.com
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/askatechteacher
X: http://twitter.com/worddreams
Website: https://jacquimurray.net
Fiction Favorites 
Can I ask them about insurance? They supppsedly know about that.
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Ha ha ha. Good one, Charles.
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Ha! Their insurance was their cleverness!
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This may perhaps be the best Top Ten List ever!! I am reading this book now and can believe each one of these. I think in all our evolution we lost some important skills. Thanks, John! Congratulations, Jacqui!!
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You are so right, Jan. One skill we lost is building a fire. Not sure we need that skill anymore, but who knows.
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This was a lot of fun to write. Thanks for visiting, Jan!
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Congratulations, Jacqui! Your latest jewel rests in my Kindle. I’m looking forward to the read. Thank you, John, for showcasing Balance of Nature.
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Thank you, Gwen, for your support of Jacqui’s book.
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I hope you enjoy it, Gwen. They were clever people back then.
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[…] launch for Balance of Nature, Book 3 of my trilogy, Savage Land. Today, I visit John Howell over at Fiction Favorites. John is the author of a variety of books, many I’ve reviewed to 5/5 […]
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Thank you for the lovely post, Jacqui.
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When I was digging into our shared history, it was amazing to find how deep it was. Between a love of dogs and approaching life with a sense of humor. I think we’d enjoy a cuppa together.
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I believe that would be a wonderful event. 😀
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Funny top 10 list, Jacqui, and inspiration for readers to get your entire series.
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Thank you, Grant. It was an interesting way to present her book. Thanks for the visit and supportive comment.😊
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Love that you say that, Grant. Thank you!
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“Quiet is a friend.” Oh would that be nice.
Great list, John and a great way to help Jacqui promote another interesting book in the series.
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Thank you, Dan. 😊
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I was pretty happy John agreed to my suggestion. This is almost his signature series. Now, true confession, he helped me a lot, to match the feel of his series. Made it so much better.
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My part was like putting the license plate on a new car that you built. 😊
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He’s a great supporter.
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Thanks, Dan.
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I love this!! A great Top Ten list and perfect to showcase Jacqui’s latest book. Well done both of you.
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Thank you, Darlene. Always fun to have Jacqui over.
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Thank you. It became a great way to share more intimate details of my characters.
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I agree.
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Love your top ten. Clever concept. Am reading your book now.
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I’m sure Jacqui appreciates your support. Thanks.
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Thank you! Much appreciated.
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I hate that WP makes folks sign in. It was a great comment, and I would have liked to know who it is.
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Haha, great top ten list. I’ll be sure the next time I’m lost to ask a Neanderthal for directions!
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A good idea, Priscilla. Thanks 😊
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I know a lot of people who are confused over “go east on that road” so they’d prefer the Neanderthal approach!
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I’m always confused so this would help me a lot.
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well, now I know what to do if I meet a Neanderthal.
Jim
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Thanks, Jim. Yes you will know what to do. 😀
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Bit of a long list–sorry ’bout that!
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I love this list! I will make sure not to do those things.
Thank you, John. And congratulations, Jacqui!
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Nice little checklist for your time traveles!
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Right on! 😀
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You will be safe that way, Kymber. 😊 Thanks for the visit.
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It’s my pleasure!
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Insane! The best-ever top10 list from John and Jacqui. And a remarkable effective way of getting readers to learn more about Neanderthals. Well done John and Jacqui!
Only question for John – did you first publish this list in 2015?
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Thank you, Ankur. That was the goal. I am so happy it worked.
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Me too.
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No , this was a fresh list that Jacqui authored. Thanks, Ankur. 😀
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What a fun top ten list! I’m now armored with what NOT to do if I meet a Neanderthal! I’ve just started the book!
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They aren’t terribly different than the mountain men of Daniel Boone’s day but without guns, stitched clothing, houses, and horses.
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Jacqui will be glad to hear that, Noelle. Thanks for sharing.😊
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#4! Thanks goodness. Not a fan of small talk. I think we just hold up Jacqui’s book, smile and nod.
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There you go. That sounds like the best way. Thanks, Lois. 😊
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According to paleo-sociologists, small talk became our grooming (rather than picking through fur for bugs), but we had to first become the alpha in nature, immune from danger. Neanderthals weren’t quite there yet.
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It’s great to see Jacqui’s fascinating book in the fascinating series blogged here. It’s great of you to participate in the blog tour, John.
If I met a Neanderthal, I wouldn’t ask a question. I’d think about calling my doctor, but not do it because I don’t want to be sent to a nursing home for the insane.
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Ha ha ha. Your doctor would have a problem with your story for sure, Tim.😀
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You might not even recognize them as different from us. Well, their brows are inordinately prominent, but they are a bit shy. I think you’d be OK!
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Many thanks for hosting Jacqui. Loved her Top Tens Things (what a get take off of your own Monday offerings). So clever. I LOVED #4 & 5…it almost sounds like Neanderthals were predecessors to modern Buddhism and they made me smile with peace. Happy Monday, sir.
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They weren’t violent and they were observant, so maybe!
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So happy you liked the post, Monika. I was taken be the peacefulness of them as well. 😊
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I love the way you titled this to tie in with your usual post titles–so clever, John! Hi, Jac! Did you remember to stretch this time? 😉
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Ooops…
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Looks like she forgot
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LOL. One of these book tours, Jacqui… 😛
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Thank you, Ilsa. 😊
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But, of course, John. 🙂
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Very clever, Jacqui. I kept looking to see if you were going to incorporate one of John’s favorites, Tiny, the WWF wrestler. 😊 I kept wanting to ask the Neanderthals if they’ve ever appeared in a Geico commercial.
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Ha! I wish I’d thought of that! You are way clever, Pete.
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I think tha would be a good queston, Pete. Thanks for the laugh.
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I enjoyed this post, John. Love Jacqui’s books!
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I loved the chance to put humor into what some consider brutish characters (they aren’t). This was fun.
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I wonder if the Neanderthals had time for developing a sense of humor in any great sense of the idea, or were they always concerned with survival too much to have fun?
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I don’t know. They were clever enough for humor, at least according to their artistry, their inventions, but I do believe they were sparse communicators.
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Yeah…too busy surviving.
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Good question.
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Thank you, Anneli. So glad you liked it. Jacqui will love to hear you love her books.
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I can’t wait for her to write her next one. BTW, I’ve enjoyed your books too.
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Me, too!
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I’m so glad, Anneli. Thanks for letting me know.
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Oh I love this John. Jacqui must be elated. I want a neanderthal on my team and promise, I won’t let on that I’m an idiot.. lol.
Congratulations to on a great post and Jacqui’s book!! xx
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They are ridiculously strong, not as agile as you or I but you can work on that for him/her, Cindy.
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Hahaha.. I love we can actually learn from each other, Jacqui! I need a bit of both!! xx
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Thank you, Cndy. She is having a super tour, and I am proud to be part of it.
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What a fun and clever take on John’s “10 Things Not to Do” posts! I really enjoyed it. Sharing for others to join in the fun.
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Thank you for the share, Liz. So glad you enjoyed it. 😊
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You’re welcome, John!
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Thank you for sharing!
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You’re welcome, Jacqui!
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What a great way to introduce a book. So clever to present it as a what not to do list. I used to work with Neanderthals and can confirm these suggestions.
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Ha ha ha. I love that, Craig. Thanks for the laugh.
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Ha!. I’m not sure you and I would define ‘Neanderthals’ the same–but I get what you mean!
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Great list, Jacqui – and intriguing exerpt for your book, too.
Excellent idea to share this space, John!
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Jacqui had an opening on Monday so I thought it would be a terrific tie in. She did all the work and I thought she did a great job. Thanks, Dale.
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That’s why Marc calls you the Boss!
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Thank you, Dale!
I apologize for late reply. My browser seems to be causing me trouble. I hope this goes through.
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You are far from late, Jacqui! My pleasure! It was fun.
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Hi John, a most entertaining ten things not to do. It’s great to see Jacqui featured here 😄
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Thank you, Robbie. Great to have her here. 😀
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I was pretty excited to come up with this list!
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Thanks for hosting Jacqui, John. And Jacqui, what a great and humorous list!
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Thank you for the visit and kind comment.
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Glad you enjoyed it. There’s a lot of truth in the answers.
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What a great idea to have Jacqui do the top 10 – really enjoyed this!
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Thank you, Teri. It was fun to do.
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I couldn’t resist!
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[…] John Howell […]
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[…] John Howell […]
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[…] John Howell […]
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[…] John Howell […]
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[…] John Howell […]
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[…] John Howell […]
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Ha ha “Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Meet a Neanderthal” that is great! Like Neanderthals I don’t like small talk. But that might be because I am in the 99 percentile of having a lot Neanderthal genes according to 23AndMe. However, I deleted my data from 23AndMe because I don’t want anyone to know that. Oh wait….well actually I deleted it because I am afraid my healthcare related DNA information is at risk now when 23AndMe are bankrupt.
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Smart to delete. Thanks for sharing, Thomas.
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Smart! I never joined them for the same reasons.
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I think that was a good idea
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Sorry for bombing your blog, John. I don’t know what’s going on with my internet! I’ve tried four different browsers and finally just let them rest for a few hours.
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A Monday Mash!
You pulled off the double dip with your typical flair, Boss. The Neanderthal list is a riot, and it also happens to be all true. While I’ve never met a Neanderthal- and no, Philadelphia Eagles fans don’t count- I’m familiar enough with them to realize you know your stuff.
And your review of Jacqui’s book? Chef’s kiss. To both of you! Sounds like another winner!
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Ha! Good one.
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