A smooth Cappuccino is on the brain today. A light touch of the menu screen starts the delivery process. Milk, coffee, and then foam create the elixir that will quell the low caffeine warning buzzer in my head. One sip begins recovery. The second sip ushers in the jarring sound of the Westminster chimes, proving once again that no one can read the “Do not ring the doorbell” sign. A knuckle bone tossed into the soundproof room and a slam of the door ensure that Tempeste and Twiggy will not bark me to St. Louis.
With peace restored, the monitor shows a large sheepdog that looks like Sam and a Wolf that looks like Ralph. Skipping the usual dialogue about leaving whatever the dog is delivering, the security shutdown process is begun.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
The sheepdog has an envelope and a clipboard, which he hands to the wolf, looking like Ralph. Ralph hands both to me and points to the place to sign. After signing and handing the clipboard back, the sheepdog grabs me and turns me upside down. Several coins and a few bills drop to the porch. The wolf picks up a couple, and Sam says, “We know how you are and thank you for your generous gift.” Placed upright, my next move is to pick up the remaining money and head indoors quickly.
The envelope is from Linda Hill. Inside is a message which reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “smooth.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2026/02/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-28-2026/
Smooth by John W. Howell, © 2026
“I guess word got around on your tipping habits.”
“The method of forcing a tip wasn’t very smooth.”
“On the contrary. I thought it was perfect.”
“You have a warped sense of perfection.”
“Well, I’m sure they knew you were going to give them a platatude rather than hard cash.”
“Seems to me my tips are worth more than cash.”
“I wouldn’t take a poll on that if I were you.”
“Okay, let’s get on with the important stuff. Did you get an Uber?”
“Right over there.”
“Okay, so give me the bad news on the stops we have to make.”
“We only have to make one.”
“One? Hard to believe.”
“But there is a catch.”
“There is always a catch.”
“Yeah, we have to attend a funeral.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
“Can’t we just drop the flowers and be on our way?”
“No, the funeral home’s flower car broke down, so we have to transport the flowers from the church to the cemetery. ”
“Which means we have to be there for the service.”
“Yup. You have a black suit?”
“I’m not changing.”
“Fine. I’m sure the family will find those fuchsia colored shorts very comforting.”
“Sheesch. I’ll go change.”
“Lose the Go Steelers t-shirt too.”
Fiction Favorites 
Sorry about the encounter at the front door, John. As for the delivery, just put a white shirt over the Steelers t-shirt.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That works. Thanks, Dan 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great cover story which made me feeling like part of a movie with Bruce Willis. 😉 Thanks for sharing, John! Have a nice weekend! xx Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it, Michael. 😊 Wishing you a super weekend.
LikeLike
Some funerals have an open bar. Maybe they’ll get lucky.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good point. 🤣
LikeLike
Hilarious, John. You sure know how to enliven the day! 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad. You need an enlivenment. 😊 Thanks, Gwen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s good that Sam and Ralph didn’t take all the money, John. Riding with the flowers and attending a funeral could make one thirsty when at the pub. Have a great weekend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they only took what they thought was a good tip. Thanks, Tim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not as familiar with this group as opposed to some other featured characters.
LikeLiked by 1 person
https://youtu.be/oVgqLCjjQyo Check them out
LikeLike
Looks like a precursor to the roadrunner and the coyote.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Road Runner and Coyote were introduced in 1949. Sam and Ralph made their debut in 1953. The same guy drew both coyotes.
LikeLike
iIt makes sense.
LikeLike
Fuchsia shorts? Reminds me of my dad’s pink shorts that my mom wasn’t crazy about, but he wore them anyway. I attributed those shorts to his sense of humor, but I think he also really liked them.
I have no words for the florist van and a funeral. May peace be with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Mary. And also with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fushia colored shorts??!! Who knew you were such a fashion plate, John! 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Thanks, Lois. I have my moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The delivery person made a smooth move! And I think, given what is needed for that Uber ride, I’d rather walk!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. The pub is too far away to walk. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep! There’s always a catch. 🙂 Smooth, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is indeed a fun and smooth story. My dad used to own a funeral agency as well as a flower shop so the story was right up my alley. BTW I am not doing this week’s stream of consciousness Saturday prompt beceause our five months old grandson Jack is visiting from Balitmore, and I won’t visit the blogosphere much. Yesterday I had two Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wishing you fun with your grandson
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much John
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
The sheepdog getting a monetary tip was a hoot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Liz. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, John.
LikeLike
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fuchsia shorts. So funny! I barely remember the Sam and Ralph cartoons, glad they’re here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have always been a fan of Loony Tunes. Short story your hubby would enjoy too. During World War II, Bombing Group Nine (VB-9) adopted Bugs Bunny as a mascot and wore a terrific patch on their flight jackets. Before deploying the patch, the group commander wrote to Warner Brothers asking if it was all right to use Bug’s image. Warner Bros. wrote back and said the image on the patch bears no resemblance to Bugs Bunny. A short way to circumvent any legal hassles. Here is a link to the logo so you can judge for yourself. https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/insignia-bombing-squadron-vb-9-united-states-navy/nasm_A20090183000
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great story, and way to go Warner Bros. Of course the patch looks just like Bugs. Hubby loved it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s why I love Warner Bros. characters.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always liked the characters, but now Warner Bros. is high on my list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
That shakedown was bound to happen sooner or later. Word on the street was that you were supplying more Zen than Yen. No bueno Boss. You’ll have to make adjustments in the future maybe.
As for these guys, he would’ve been fine with that t-shirt if this was in PA
LikeLiked by 1 person
The shirt would have worked in PA or in my house. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! Truth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad. 😁
LikeLike
What’s a ride in a white panel van when there is beer at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Filled with carnations. 🤢
LikeLiked by 1 person
Way to ace the prompt, John. Sam and Ralph…two of my favorite cartoon characters. Wilson was reading over my shoulder and started to get ideas. I told him that is exactly why I never carry cash. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. That is a good rule, Monika. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smooth move by Sam and Ralph.
Well, now that word has gotten around, you’ll have to think of some new and different way to avoid tipping, each Saturday.
You might try things like… attaching a fine strong thread to a bill. Waft the bill into the air, and when the tipee goes to chase it, you snap it back and dash inside.
Tip in coins and install a one armed bandit slot machine near the moat. The tipee will be lured into losing the money back.
Hey, cans and bottles… a bin of cans and bottles. You recycle, don’t have to go to a money back depot and put the burden on the tipee. It’s a win/win for you and bin/bin for him. (or her?)
Just trying to be of help!
🐂 🐂 🐂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those are all good suggestions, Resa. I liked the dollar bill string deal. I would hope they would put the bill in their pocket before the whip. 🐂 🐂 🐂
LikeLike