The distance to the coffee machine feels like a climb of Mount Everest. The low caffeine warning klaxons in my brain, accompanied by a flashing red sign that screams, “Warning, Will Robinson.” The machine finally gives up the coffee, and the first sip turns off all the warnings. As we know, the second sip will start a whole new problem with Westminster Chimes and the Hounds of Baskerville. The decision is made to put off the second sip in favor of watching the security monitor for an intruder. After a few minutes, it seems safe to take the second sip. The cacaphony of chimes and barking hits immediately. A big bone thrown into the soundproof room and a slam of the door put an end to the high-pitched, eardrum-destroying St Louis barking.
A look at the monitor shows the idiot who pushed the doorbell. It is the robot from Lost in Space. There is no question that the door needs to be opened. With a sigh and a chug of the rest of my coffee, the shutdown process begins.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the shutdown process of the security system. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
“Attention, John Howell, there is an envelope here for you. Please sign where indicated.” The robot hands me a clipboard and an envelope. After signing and passing the board back, the robot says, “Thank you, John Howell. An appropriate tip for the service is five dollars.” “I have no cash,” is my response. “VENMO or PayPal are accepted, and I just read your account from your phone. Thank you for the tip.” With that, the robot turns and makes its way to the street. The door is shut, and the system is rearmed. Inside the envelope is a message from Linda Hill, which reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “distance.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link: https://lindaghill.com/2026/03/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-7-2026/
Distance by John W. Howell
“That robot certainly had the answer to your cash tip avoidance posture.”
“I was too close and should have kept my distance.”
“Huh?”
If I were further away it couldn’t have read my phone.”
“You sure about that?”
“No, but sounds good.”
“Is that five bucks going to break you?”
“No, but it is the principle. That robot had a job to do. Besides, what is it going to do with money?”
“Buy some three-in-one oil?”
“Very funny. Maybe I’ll ask Linda to send the prompt by FedEx next time.”
“I’m sure the pups will enjoy that.”
“I suppose I’ll just have to keep shelling out money to these delivery services.’
“Speaking of shelling out money, I save a bundle on Uber. It’s over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“Okay, I can see a problem already.”
“What’s that?”
“We have to fight a fire on the way.”
“No, that would be ridiculous.”
“What then,”
“Nothing. They will take us right to the pub.”
“There has to be a catch.”
“Well, if there is an alarm, they will have to leave quickly, and so we will have to be ready to go at any moment.”
“Or we could call another Uber.”
“Brilliant. This is why you are running this blog.”
“OMG let’s go.”
Fiction Favorites 
You might need to add some electronics jamming equipment to the security routine. A short EM pulse would protect your five dollars. But it might cause the robot to have an accident on your porch.
Good job on the prompt 🙂
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“Accident on the porch.” I love that. I think I will add a jamming device that is a good idea.
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I think the jammer is brilliant. Great idea.
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I’m going to add it for next week.
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Got the food on the Robot!
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Got the goods on the ribiyt.
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I looked ahead and understood the intent, but had to laugh at what I do all the time. Thanks, Pat. 😁
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I had a few issues with words…
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😁
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Got the goods on the Robot.
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😁
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There we go. 😁
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“That’s why you’re running the blog.” 😄 Great line, John! It made me think of the quote, “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Have a fantastic day.
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Thank you, Gwen. So glad you got a chuckle. Wishing you a restful weekend.
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These days, John, it’s hard to avoid the encouragement by a payment screen to offer a tip. Hopefully, we don’t have robots in our future that access our Venmo to take care of those who don’t want to be encouraged. 😉
I would take the Uber fire truck and make them run their siren to the bar.
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Running the siren would be fun for sure. Thanks, Mary.
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Fill the water tank with beer. That way you won’t have to leave your drinks behind.
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Good idea. Thanks, Charles.
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I plead innocent at all times. Venmo? Paypal? I have no idea….🙄
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Auto pay applications. You transfer money from your account to theirs.
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Oh take that Uber and blog about it! I’ve always wanted to ride on a fire truck!
And you got scammed by a robot! At least the coffee was good!
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The coffee is always good. Thanks, Noelle.
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You might even put out a fire!
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That would be a useful thing to do. 😁
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I hope 5 dollars is all the robot took for a tip, John, when it had access to your accounts. The Uber firetruck reminds me of one my son drove. I guess it would be a good ride to the pub.
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Lots of room and those headsets make talking easy.
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I forgot about the headsets, John. 😲
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😊
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Your mastery of creative writing is a pure joy. No tip required for the compliment.
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Thank you, Paschal’Simon . Such a nice thing to say.
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I love the first sentence “The distance to the coffee machine feels like a climb of Mount Everest”. It can be that way sometimes. These delivery folks that keep asking you for a tip must be annoying. Like you say they have a job they are paid to do already, well I guess I don’t know about robots.
I skipped this Stream of Consciousness because I took too long to think about what to write.
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I try not to think. I just write. Of course, I have a trope that I follow, so all I have to think about is fitting the word into the first sentence.
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I’ll probably do it next time.
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😊
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Ha, ha, ha, I love the ending!!
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I’m so glad.
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I’m trying to focus but all I keep thinking about is visiting our daughter in Atlanta and how there are small food delivery robots running up and down the sidewalks. She says they’re a menace. Somehow I think you’d make short work of the whole setup.
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I would try.
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Hi John … I have not been here for ages …a weekend treat I really have missed! So did you take the fire engine ride ….I would love that 💜💜💜
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Yes, we rode it to the pub. Thanks, Willow.
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Excellent John I am so jealous 😁😁
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😀 A virtual ride, of course.
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Ofcourse but I am still jealous 😭💜
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😀
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Lol! Yep, I think another Uber might be a safer bet. 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Jan.
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“Danger, Will Robinson!” Our advice…avoid the busy body robot at all costs.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks for the advice, Monika.
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😊
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😊
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Maybe you get to wear a cool helmet and clang the bell.
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I can see that, Craig. Visor too.
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You know that $5 tip would be well spent on 3-in-1 oil … remember the Tin Man 😉
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That’s probably where it will go. Thanks, Marie.
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Best Uber ever!
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Was a good one.
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Definitely!
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