The song Portrait of My Love plays over and over in my mind. It was the last song on my playlist last night and now haunts me today. A fresh, hot, aromatic cup of joe will chase it away. With hope, the two coffee selection is made on the machine touchscreen. The first sip moved the song to the background. The second brings up “I Like It Like That” by the Dave Clark Five. Feeling doomed, the hope is that the third will bring peace. No such luck as the Westminster chimes of the doorbell join the cacophony of Twiggy and Tempeste doing their best Hounds of Baskerville imitation. Two toys tossed into the soundproof room, and a slam of the door restores peace and harmony.
The monitor shows what appears to be Wile E. Coyote standing on the porch, holding an envelope and a large box marked ACME Vacuum Company. The conversation that ensued forced me(of course) to start the security shutdown process.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The electronic jammer is kept active, given a situation with a robot not too long ago. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Wile hands me the envelope and clipboard, which I sign where indicated, and return the board. It is then that the unboxed vacuum is turned on, and my pockets are emptied. Lucky for me, all there is in them is a couple of dollars and some lint. Stepping back and slamming the front door ends the cleanout. These guys are like restaurants that add a 20% sevice charge to the bill without asking. Tipping must be mandatory these days.
Inside the envelope is a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “portrait.” Use it anyway you’d like. Have fun!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Lina’s post at: https://lindaghill.com/2026/03/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-28-2026/
Portrait by John W. Howell © 2026
“You certainly got taken to the cleaners.”
“Can you believe it?”
“Serves you right for not tipping all those other guys.”
“Come on. They are doing what they get paid for, delivering packages and letters.”
“You give the mail person a gift at Christmas.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Showing gratitude for a year of good service.”
“Well, you could show gratitude for a day of service.”
“I just don’t see it.”
“Do you tip the pizza guy?”
“I get my own.”
“You are sounding like a portrait of a miser.”
“Maybe so. Speaking of miser, what great deal did you get on an Uber today?”
“It will be here shortly, but I have a couple of photos that the driver, Tom Okragly, sent. Here, take a look.”
Photo by Tom Okragly
Photo by Tom Okragly
“Wow, a 1936 Buick Roadmaster Convertible”
“Yeah, it’s a beaut.”
“What’s the catch?”
“It’s a small thing.”
“Okay, out with it.”
“We have to dress in period clothes and be in a movie.”
“That’s not so bad. Wait, I can see on your face there’s more.”
“The scene is where we get tied up, gagged, and thrown in the river.”
“What?”
“Yeah, a gangland execution. Don’t worry, there is a diver in the river to cut us free.”
“The river water must be freezing this time of year.”
“I think that may be why they couldn’t get anyone to do it. On the positive side, the ride is free.”
“That makes up for everything.”
“We are due in wardrobe in ten minutes.”
“I’ve never been in a movie before, so it may be fun. Besides, the VooDoos will taste great after.”
“I ordered a couple from Craft Catering for before.”
“Genius.”
Fiction Favorites 
What an extraordinary car! I’ve never seen one like it. Fun dialog, John. 😊
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Wouldn’t that be something to drive? (or even ride) Thanks, Gwen. 😊
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This might be the wildest condition the boys have ever accepted, which shows their love for adventure and for the Voodoos. Okay, maybe it’s 70-30 for the Voodoos but hey, getting thrown in a river is something!
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They are lucky there is no cement involved. 🤣
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Ooooh, get ready for a cool dip. I hope the diver is fast.
The number of places adding those charges is getting crazy.
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I imagine Donkey Kong driving that car. Complete with a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.
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Thanks for the acknowledgment on the car. Certainly a beautiful piece of machinery. I wish I was in that good of shape. Your escapade in the river is a bit risky. But I remember your earlier days. So this was a no brainer. And the brewskis were of course a great idea.
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Very cool car. I’d love to take a drive in it.
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Pure genius, your story telling. I’m curious, what app do you have on your phone that allows you to control your security system???😉
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Well now! That is quite the adventure! But hey, not everyone can say there were an extra in a movie! The VooDoos will be all the better!
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Whoa…now THAT is one amazing looking vehicle! Sounds like Wily didn’t want to end up being stiffed and took the tip procedure into his grubby paws. I guess the Roadrunner has taught him a few things over the years of getting slammed into canyon walls.
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Man if you can afford that beauty, empty your pockets 😂
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Listen, I’m not usually one to react to cars but that one looks sharp.
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I’d do that for a ride in that car. Whoop, whoop!
Did you let the dogs out? 😉
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The part where you say, “Wait. There’s more…” always cracks me up. This was fantastic. But the chance to sit in that car…heck, yeah! What a beauty.
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It’s good that Wile E. Coyote only got a couple of bucks for his tip, John. Riding in that Buick convertible could be nice, but getting tied up, gagged and thrown in the river wouldn’t be. I hope it goes well and having your drinks in damp clothing is okay.
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