The coffee machine is the greatest life hack until it isn’t. Some days it functions perfectly, and others you would think it belonged in the junk yard. Today is one of the former. Dual streams of soothing syrup fill the cup without a hitch. The first sip quiets the caffeine-deprived nerve endings in the brain. The second sip is greeted by the Westminster and Hounds of Baskerville cacophony that threatens to blow out all the windows.

A toss of two bones into the soundproof room, followed by the slamming of the door, brings a kind of hush all over the world. A glance at the security monitor confirms the presence of a mule on the porch. After give-and-take with Francis the talking Mule, it is clear the security system needs to be shut down, and the door opened.

The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The electronic jammer is kept active, given a situation with a robot not too long ago. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.

The Mule has an envelope in its mouth, which it drops on the porch. Picking it up there is the obvious sign of an expected tip. The Mule raises a hoof in anticipation of a payoff. The last thing needed is two rear leg horseshoe dents in the front door, so a ten-spot is slipped into the outstretched hoof. An ear-splitting Hee Haw lets me know the Mule is happy. Once inside, the envelope contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “life hack.” Use it however you’d like. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link:

https://lindaghill.com/2026/04/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-18-2026/

Life Hack by John W. Howell © 2026

“So you caved on the tip.”

“I decided it was the right thing to do.”

“You could have gone for carrots.”

“I was in my robe. Where am I going to get carrots?”

“That’s a good point.”

“Besides, giving the mule ten bucks is a life hack.”

“How so?”

“It prevented any further annoyance. Isn’t that what a life hack is all about?”

“I suppose.”

“Take those discounted Uber rides, for instance.”

“What about them?”

“It would be better to just pay full price rather than put up with whatever annoying catch there is. I would consider that a life hack.”

“Paying full price?”

“Yes.”

“You are not going to like the one I order then.”

“Where is it?”

“Over there.”

Photo by Dale Rogerson. Encouraged by Marc Anthony

“Good grief. This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

“The price is really good.”

“And the catch is?”

“Not so bad.”

“Uh huh.”

“All we have to do is load some building supplies before we go to the club.”

“Supplies? Like what?”

“Oh, a few bags of concrete and some wood.”

“So we need to wear work clothes?”

“I would suggest it. One more thing.”

“It was too good to be true. I suppose we need to build a house.”

“No .”

“What then?”

“We need to unload the supplies.”

“Full price Uber would be a life hack.”

“Oh, come on. It will be fun.”

“One splinter and you are a dead man.”

“Here’s some gloves.”