Saturday is always a good day. It seems the coffee machine goes out of its way to impress the end user. Just this morning it said good morning without being prompted. It then produced this fine mug of coffee Just in time for the first sip to quell the percussion part of the Anvil Chorus playing in my head. The second sip brings the familiar steel stamping plant cacophony of the combination of the doorbell Westminster chime and the warnings from the watchdogs from hell as they attempt to bark the intruder to St. Louis. A toss of a delicious marrow bone into the soundproof room followed by the slamming of the door brings back peace in the valley.
A check of the monitor confirms a visitor looking very much like Henry the chicken with an envelope. Since there is a signature needed, with a sigh the security shutdown begins.
The B-2 bomber squadron and the F-35 escort must be called off. One call does it. The tank corps and gunboats are told to stand by. The Apache helicopters are rerouted. The electric shock fence is turned off. The drawbridge over the quicksand is lowered. The robot attack dogs returned to their charging station. The laser-guided machine guns on the roof are set to caution. The nest filled with rattlesnakes put away. The bucket filled with 1000 marbles is locked down. The tear gas canisters shut off. The electrified welcome mat set to off. The fall-away sidewalk into the pit filled with spikes is locked. The hornet’s nest closed. The water cannons are set to safety. Bear traps are set to off. Peregrine Falcons perched on the roof above front door fed. The vat of boiling oil set to warm. The front door is opened.
An envelope and clipboard are passed to me by Henry. “Where’s Foghorn Leghorn?” is a question met with a puzzled look. maybe it’s the wrong Henry. Passing the signed clip board back, Henry has his wing extended in the classic signal for a tip. “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics,” is my tip to Henry just before closing the front door.
The envelope is form Linda Hill and the message inside reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “impress” Use it as a verb, use it as a noun, use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see how others responded to the prompt visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/05/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-30-2026/
Impress by John W. Howell © 2026
“You are not out to impress deliver people are you?”
“It’s not that.”
“What is it?”
“Our society is becoming tip crazy is all.”
“What do you mean.”
“There are tip requests everywhere. The last time I took an flight I bought a water at a self service kiosk. On the screen there was a place for a tip.”
“Might be a way to help offset low pay for the workers.”
“Then the workers ought to speak up. I’ll bet none of it gets to the workers.”
“Hard to know.”
“Restaurants are now adding 20% service charges to the bill and get this. They say it is not a tip for service. The tip is supposed to be added on.”
“Ive never seen that, but sound pretty strange. What’s it for”
“That’s what I thought. I don’t know. Maybe for someone to carry your order out to the table 99% spit free.”
“Yuk. You leave a tip?”
“What do you think?”
“Scrooge.”
“I did see a tip line on my carry out pizza order receipt. I thought they were kidding.”
“I’ll bet it wasn’t spit free then.”
“Don’t remind me. I can quarantine our Uber ride is tip free.”
“Why’s that? Do we have to carry the car?”
“No look over there.”
Photo by Tom Okragly
“Wow, a 1937 Cadillac. I’ll bet the catch is big.”
“Not at all.”
“Okay what is it.”
“On the way to the pub we have hold up signs.”
“What kind of signs?”
“Advertising signs.”
“What kind of advertising signs.”
“The grand opening kind of advertising.”
“Grand opening of what?”
“A supermarket.”
“That sounds okay.”
“One more thing.”
“Uh oh. Here it comes.”
“Not a big deal. We have to hand out zuccini.”
“Zuccini?”
“Yeah its a promotion. The store’s name is on the zuccini. Once the zuccini is gone we can head for the pub.”
“Wait. How much zuccini is there?”
“A few bushels.”
“Why don’t we just get a regular Uber.”
“What kind of story would that make.”
“Good point. Okay let’s go.”
Fiction Favorites 
Wow. I think the last time I heard the word bushel was in the old Doris Day song my mother used to sing in the ’50s. I is still used over there?
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It is a unit of measure for grain crops. Here’s what AI says: Yes, the bushel is still widely used today. However, it is rarely used as a volume measure. In modern commercial agriculture and commodity markets, a bushel is defined as a specific unit of weight or mass.How it is Used in AgricultureBecause crop weights fluctuate depending on moisture and quality, the USDA established standard weight equivalents for commodity trading: Wheat and Soybeans: 60 lb per bushel, Corn: 56lb per bushel, Barley: (48 lb per bushel), Oats: 32 lb per bushel
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Tipping has gotten crazy, John. And I do wonder how much of the automated ones ever get to the employee. A kiosk bottle of water? That takes the cake.
Enjoy the ride. That’s a beauty.
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That does take the cake. I was dumbfounded. Thanks, Dan
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I’m impressed with how you used tip. We over tip for the wait staff who knows what we like. But tip at least 20 percent under most circumstances.
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They love you, I’m sure.
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If they are good, we reward them. Otherwised…
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Can’t they just throw the zucchini at people like old school paperboys?
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Good idea. Or leave it on people’s porches.
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Get away from me with that durn zucchini!
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Ha ha ha. Look on your porch. 😀
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😱😱😱
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😊
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I too am sick of the tip world. I do it some, haircuts, real restaurants, but that’s it !!! If they don’t like it then find another job. They can always sign up for protests. Seems those jobs pay pretty good (disgusting people). Anyway, have fun on your trip today !!
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I’m obviously with you. Stupid tip requests drive me nuts. Thanks, Tom. 😀
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Nice ride, John, even with the zucchini hand-outs and especially if it’s a nice day.
Can I borrow your falcons? For security and the naughty squirrel that wants to dig in the garden.
I started up several months ago with a former massage therapist who uses electronics to be paid by card. It asked for a tip, which a gave a few times, but then I asked if I can pay by check. I will add my own paltry tip, thank you very much.
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The falcons are on your roof. That squirrel better watch out. I usually pay for haircuts in cash, so I tip according to the service. The hair folks love the cash.
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Thanks John! We had hoped our pair of hawks from last summer would return, but I think they found a different place for a nest and probably meatier ground.
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Ha ha ha. Fussy hawks anyway.
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The tip to Henry was logical, John. It could be best to get a regular Uber ride. Have an impressive weekend.
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Thank you, Tim. I agree on the Uber ride. My friend thinks he is doing a good thing by saving money. 🙄
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😊
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😊
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I think it would be fun to hand out squash from a cart like that. Lots of people would gather ’round! My question: How do yo put away the rattlesnake nest without getting bitten?
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It gets enclosed by an automatic cover and then secured with a robot arm.
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Well, that explains it!
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Uh huh 😀
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LOL! The zucchini thing is brilliant, John. And you know that I’m absolutely giddy about that Uber — a 1937 Caddy, AND it’s yellow! OMG.
My other thought didn’t end up going with your post, but when you said “peace in the valley” a song I hadn’t thought about in decades popped into my head. Here ya go. Big hugs.
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As a teen, I loved the Elvis version of the song. You know I put these song hints in my post on purpose. Thanks for that Ed Sullivan live tape. Thanks for catching it, Teagan. Wishing you a peaceful Sunday
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“I can name that tune in…”
To you as well, John. ❤
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😊
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Between the ‘care to leave a tip?’ to ‘you want to round-up?’ I am over it all!
I was at a thrift store yesterday and the total came to something like $7.58. They asked me if I wanted to round up. I am so tired of it all so I said, ‘No.’ But because we don’t use pennies any more it rounded up to $7.60. I just had to laugh at the craziness of it all.
A delicious marrow bone? A new treat for the girls?!
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They get them from time to time. Not often. We freeze them so they last longer. Thanks, Lois.
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I tell ya… one of these days one of the security systems will fail to shut down.. The barking hounds will sound like cooing children!
The tipping thing is completely out of hand. Pay your servers properly and be done with it. And do NOT force me to give 20% minimum. Especially for the one handing me my hotdog…
That ride is something and best to be handing zucchini out now and not late August when peeps are already trying to donate the results of their gardens!
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Dale. 😊 Cheers you later.
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😉
You know it!
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Sorry about being late. 😊
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You’re forgiven 😉
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😊
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Hahaha. It’s not always easy handing out free zucchini-not everyone wants it. Calling regular Über might be wise. 😉
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Of course, calling a regular Uber might not get a story. Thanks, Monika
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{Snicker} Good point. 🤣
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😀
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Bushel and a peck! I always think of that when I see the word bushel. Love that car!!
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That is funny. An oldie but goodie for sure. Thanks, Audrey. 😊
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Yes here in the US it is getting a bit tip crazy. People want tip for everything. In Sweden, where I grew up there was no tip and there still isn’t. They pay servers and other personel enough that is not needed. However, Americans are welcome to leave tip, and they often do. Usually people don’t object to money. There is 25% value added tax, which foreigners do not need to pay so if you save your receipts you can get your money back on anything you buy. Visitors often don’t know this and on top of it Americans leave tip when they don’t need to. Anyway, I love that yellow cadillac.
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I used to travel to Europe and Asia for work and would keep a little notebook for each country with tip rules etc. It was very handy. A typical ugly American posture is to not read up on the customs and mores of a country prior to visiting, Thanks, Thomas.
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Yup. I’ve even started seeing the requests on some social media. The most recent was some celebrity scandal that was obviously a share from somewhere else. There was a button to leave a tip. A tip to a guy doing nothing more valuable to my life than I was doing at the time. Hey, I mowed my lawn, put the toilet seat down, made coffee… how about a tip.
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Your tip. “Keep doing them.”
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I say, I say boy, that’s not what I call a tip, I call it a rip…off.
You know what a rip… are you listening boy? I say you know what a rip off is don’t you?.. and I don’t mean ripping a piece of paper. … and don’t bother asking anyone else cause they’ll want a tip and they won’t like your tip. You hear me, boy. Listen up! Your tips belong in the trash, trash I say!
I swear you’ll never get anywhere with this attitude on tipping… land sakes … I know all this cause
💥𝓧 💥𝓧 💥𝓧
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Laugh out loud funny. Thanks, Resa. 😀X
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😂X
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🤣X
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That’s quite an impressive ride, John. 🙂 I’d definitely hand out vegetables to get to ride in it. Great response to the prompt.
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As a youth, I sold cantaloupe from the back of a pickup truck. Handing out zucchini from this ride would be just fine. 👍🏻
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Sounds like an interesting time, Michele. I can almost smell those cantaloupes. 😊
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That is a LOT of zucchini, but I guess he’s right, it’s going to make for one helluva story when you finally get to the pub.
And the tip, brilliant.
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I knew you would like the tip. Thanks, Marco 😀
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Love the tips.
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Zuccini…haha!
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The scourge of summer. 😀
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Yes!
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😊
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