The coffee machine has a “welcome guest” message scrolling on the touch screen. With a low-caffeine warning klaxon horn blaring in my head, it is difficult to understand the meaning. Lucky for me, a touch of the two-coffee button starts the flow of the antidote, which could be a fatal deprivation situation. We all know what happens on the first sip and predictably the iron hammer beating on the inside of my skull feeling began to diminish. As usual, the second sip is accompanied by the Westminster chime and Igor’s baying hound cacophony that follows the idiotic ringing of the doorbell. A knuckle bone is thrown into the soundproof room, followed by a door slam. The silence speaks.
A glance at the security monitor shows someone in a Donald Duck costume holding an envelope and a clipboard. “Just leave it,” was said through the electronics. “Need signature,” came back in a duck’s voice. With a sigh, the security shut-down process began.
The B-2 bomber squadron and the F-35 escort must be called off. One call does it. The tank corps and gunboats are told to stand by. The Apache helicopters are rerouted. The electric shock fence is turned off. The drawbridge over the quicksand is lowered. The robot attack dogs returned to their charging station. The laser-guided machine guns on the roof are set to caution. The nest filled with rattlesnakes put away. The bucket filled with 1000 marbles is locked down. The tear gas canisters shut off. The electrified welcome mat set to off. The fall-away sidewalk into the pit filled with spikes is locked. The hornet’s nest closed. The water cannons are set to safety. Bear traps are set to off. Peregrine Falcons perched on the roof above front door fed. The vat of boiling oil set to warm. The front door is opened.
The clipboard and envelope are passed to me, and then the clipboard is returned with a signature. The person holds out a gloved hand in a classic tip request posture. Feeling sorry for the guy who has to wear a duck costume, I tip him a fiver. He smiles and leaves. The envelope contains a message from Linda Hill. It reads: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “guest.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/06/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-13-2026/
Guest by John W. Howell © 2025
“You tipped him.”
“Yeah. I’ve been getting blowback when I don’t. Like Winnie the Poo last week.”
“That was pretty cruel.”
“Oh come on. He’s a fictional character.”
“Who has a big heart and nice enough to guest on your blog.”
“Okay, okay. But what about the real people who like the verbal tips.”
“Give both.”
“Whoa. Now that’s a solution. You hear that Pilgrim? Okay done.”
“Speaking of tips.”
“Yes.”
“The Uber is over there.”
Photo by Resa McConaghy
“Oh my.”
“Before you say anything hear me out.”
“Okay.”
“This bus is a classic and we get it at a good rate.”
“What’s the catch?”
“A small one.”
“Which is?”
“The First Church of What’s Happening Now choir will be riding with us.”
“Sounds harmless.”
“They’ll be rehearsing for their service.”
“Still sounds okay.”
“Their first song is titled, “Put Down That Booze You Devil, You.”
“Uh huh. I suppose that is not all.”
“They have a few more.”
“I think I can take it.”
“Good cause the price is right.”
“I’ll bet the ride home will be entertaining.”
“You mean with VooDoo Ranger on our breath?”
“And me with one for the road.”
“Humm. I can see it now.”
Fiction Favorites 
That’s going to be a fun ride. Shame on you boys. Remember not to blaspheme on the bus.
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Might be hard not to blaspheme with all that singing.
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I’ll bet you knew it was Donald Duck Day last week. Loved the Voodoo Ranger tie in. Enjoy them!
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I did know. Thanks, Pat
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🦆🦆🦆
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😊
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Hey, you did good with the fiver. It’s a balance, sometimes words of wisdom and sometimes the moolah. As for the ride? Music and adult beverages work for me.
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We might even pass around a few VooDoos to liven up the tunes. Love this one. https://youtu.be/qgV3DjgTBdE?list=RDqgV3DjgTBdE
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Great tune!
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😊
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I was so intrigued by the Uber, I had to look up #Lovebus. A very worthwhile project!
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Is it the children’s cancer transportation? I looked but had a lot of different responses.
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That’s the one I was looking at, yes.
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Yes, it is a good cause. 😊
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Loved The Church of What’s Happening Now !! And the choice of music was outstanding. Great stuff John.
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Thanks, Tom. Did you ever witness one of my revivals?
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Nope. But maybe kind of at a National meeting or two.
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😀
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The choir of The First Church Of What’s Happening Now should tour the country. Maybe they already are!
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Look for them at your nearest gym. Thanks, Neil.
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John, be very alert, that church of WHN has been known to travel with snakes! If they start singing “In the sweet bye and bye”…Jump Out🐳
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Ha ha ha.Good one Jim.
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Nice tip to the guy, John. Hearing that song on the way to the pub would be disturbing for me, hearing it on the way back more disturbing. Have a great weekend.
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I think they would pick a different one. Thanks, Tim.
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You’re welcome, John. 😊
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😀
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Flip Wilson just smiled!! What a fun ride, John! Snappy song title, too. I picture you yelling out, “Raise up your voices and raise up your beer!” or something similarly fun on a church bus. 😂
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Thank you, Lois. In my youth, I used to do revival spoofs. My biggest crowd was over 500.
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Plan on pointing to the word ‘revival’ on Tuesday, John, because I am here for it! 😉😂
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Ha ha ha.Thanks, Lois.
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Drink enough and you won’t care about the songs. You’ll probably join in.
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Swing low sweet chariot. 🎶
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What a fun ride. And load up for the ride home!
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In more ways than one.
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🙂 🙂
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😊
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How can anyone go wrong with a ride in the LoveBus? Great job with the challenge and for giving the Duck a fiver. Well done, John.
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Thank you, Monika. Glad you liked it.
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Someone beat me to it, but it called me back to Flip Wilson, too.
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I really enjoyed his stuff. 😀
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That bus looks very friendly. I am going to have a Voodoo Ranger tonight if all goes well.
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Me too, even if all doesn’t go well.
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Ha ha I actually think that is true for me too
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😊
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I just had one
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Me too. you have to see this. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gUX_-_yCvLo
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Wow that is a great video!
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I know, right?
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The “1000 marbles” is a great idea, John. The duck-voice… I never would have thought, but is it possible that there might be generations yet to come who don’t immediately know and imagine that voice? Now, that’s a dystopian thought. Thanks for this fun visit. Hugs.
PS: Oh, and I found your next Uber ride:
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That video is priceless. I need to run it next week. Thank you so much, Teagan.
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A small return for the terrific cars you’ve sent for my blog. 🙂
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😊
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Donald Duck..
Ahh you have brought me a memory.
Learning to type in high school, we had to do the word “DUCK” over and over and over – without looking at the paper, or keyboard.
I was ripping away, when suddenly the teacher’s yardstick came down hard on the back of my hands. (Not allowed these days)
Boy! I got sent to the principal’s office for punishment. Turns out I was hitting the “F” to the left of the “D” over and over and over, and accused of doing it on purpose.
Well, enjoy your VooDoo’s (aka Kick-a-poo Joy Juice)… where’s that coming from?
🎼The Love Bus, shiny and new, sing along, it will love you, too!🎼
🚍𝖃 🚍𝖃 🚍𝖃
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Love the VooDoo. Loved your story about duck and his neighbor. 😀X
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🐤X
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🐧X
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That bus looks awesome! Just take some mints with you (although, mints never worked to mask alcohol on my breath 🤷🏼♀️).
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I think maybe a nice pastrami sandwich would work better. 😀
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Ha! Ha! Now that’s funny. 🙂
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Thanks, Jan
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