The coffee machine touchscreen is balled up with different languages. Given the two-year-old beating on pots and pans feeling in my head, it took great restraint to not give in to the bald disappointment of caffeine denial. The machine bawled for someone to help. Pulling the plug and reinserting it turned everything back to normal. The two coffee icon was touched, and the heavenly elixir poured forth.
The first sip sent the kid to the backyard. The second (You know what’s coming) was accompanied by the dual torture of the Westminster Chimes of the doorbell and the glass-cracking din of the hounds of Baskerville trying to bark the intruder to St. Louis. A toss of a wagyu porterhouse steak into the soundproof room, followed by the slamming of the door, reunited the environment to the sound of silence.
A glance at the security monitor showed that the idiot on the porch who can’t read the “Do not ring the doorbell” sign was Br’er Rabbit. With a sigh, the security shutdown process is begun.
The B-2 bomber squadron and the F-35 escort must be called off. One call does it. The tank corps and gunboats are told to stand by. The Apache helicopters are rerouted. The electric shock fence is turned off. The drawbridge over the quicksand is lowered. The robot attack dogs returned to their charging station. The laser-guided machine guns on the roof are set to caution. The nest filled with rattlesnakes put away. The bucket filled with 1000 marbles is locked down. The tear gas canisters are shut off. The electrified welcome mat set to off. The fall-away sidewalk into the pit filled with spikes is locked. The hornet’s nest is closed. The water cannons are set to safety. Bear traps are set to off. Peregrine Falcons perched on the roof above the front door fed. The vat of boiling oil set to warm. The front door is opened.
The rabbit has a clipboard and a letter. He passes them to me, and after signing, it is returned with a fiver, and the advice to watch out for tar babies.
Inside the house, the envelope reveals a message from Dan Antion filling in for Linda Hill, it reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “Bald, Balled, Bawled” Use one. Use two or use them all any way you’d like. If you manage to use all three, I’ll slide you some bonus points. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link.
https://lindaghill.com/2026/08/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-15-2026/
Bald, Balled, Bawled by John W. Howell © 2026
“Looks like you got some bonus points.”
“Yeah, I had to work hard for them.”
“It didn’t seem too hard.”
“You weren’t writing the post.’
“A little on edge today, are we?”
“No, but making these prompts work is a little difficult sometimes.”
“Okay, I get that. ”
“Did you also get an Uber?”
“Sure did. It’s right over there.”
Photo by Dan Antion
“How are we supposed to ride in that?”
“What do you mean? There’s room.”
“I don’t mean room. I’m talking about wind, rain, and bugs.”
“Oh, no problem. Here is an all-weather duster and goggles.”
“Okay, now about the catch.”
“One drag race is all.”
“What?”
“We have to swing by the raceway on the way to the pub.”
“How do you know it’s one race?”
“The driver says he doesn’t expect to win, given that he has older technology.”
“What if he does win?”
“Oh. Then it will be hours.”
“Swell.”
“I’ve packed a cooler with VooDoo Rangers just in case.”
“Now you’re talking. Let’s go to the races.”
Sorry this post was late. Seems it was stuck somewhere.
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My My. 8:12am
I already fed the chickens and milked the cows. Love the ride Dan. Hope the race and the cold ones make it a great day. I didn’t see the key words. Did I miss them ?
Maybe the great Tuna can spot them. He is really good with words.
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If you look in the first sentence yo will find them very close to that place. Yeah, WordPress launched the post at 4:00 AM as scheduled, but something went haywire with the e-mail to subscribers. I had to launch it again. Stupid. 😊
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John, l knew this guy, DG who was so bald he could “comb his hair with a wash cloth”🐳
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😄 Good one.
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DK misses everything…he just blew right by your fabulous introductory set up. He should get “NO posts…one year!🐳
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He did blow by.
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John, the great Tuna pointed out that you did use all 3 words in your heading. Kind of sift effort but you did do it. So well done and accept my heartfelt apologies.
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It’s okay. I know you speed read.
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Oh, I’d like to race in that buggy. And wagyu steaks to the girls? They ARE spoiled!
BTW, It’s hard to find the stories of B’rer Rabbit any more. Woke got it.
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I’m sure woke got B’rer Rabbit. Yes these girls are spoiled
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But it’s fun to spoil them!
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It is for sure. 😊
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Off to the races! (It’s always good to have a backup plan.)
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Yes, it is.😊
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Nice that you tipped Br’er Rabbit and advised him to look out for tar babies, John. The drag racing will be more fun with VooDoo Rangers.
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Good thing the driver doesn’t get any. Thanks, Tim.
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😊
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John any chance of working Monty Python’s harmless little rabbit into your protection services ? I mean if they can’t read perhaps they won’t be bright enough to fear a harmless little furry creature…
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We can try that, John. Look next week.
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You used them all in your write up and not your story. Good job.
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I may use this prompt myself some time.
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You should. It’s fun, they said.
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Thank you, Pat.
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Heck yeah, go to the races.
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Why not, right?
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Let’s drink those Voodoo’s and get draggin’!! Some kind of fun tonight!!
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You have the right idea, Lois. 😄
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That actually looks like a fun ride.
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I think it would be until a June bug comes along.
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Motorcycle helmet could fix that.
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Good luck at the track, John. I think you have a good chance. At least you’ll make some noise. Enjoy the bonus points,
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Thank you, Dan. I think the points will buy a windshield wiper insert for the driver’s side of the Bentley.
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Every little part helps 🙂
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Yes it does 😄
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You missed your calling in life, John. You should have written the screenplays for Indiana Jones.
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Thank you, Robbie. I certainly wish I had.
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😁💚
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😊
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You definitely hit a bases-loaded home run, John! Well done.
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Thank you, Monika. 😄
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Your hard work paid off John! Happy Saturday.
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That is a very cool looking car. I guess I hope you don’t win. Incidentally I had a Voodoo Tanger Imperial IPA this evening.
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Me too. It hit the spot. 😄
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Off to the races. Very cool Uber, and I fondly remember Br’er Rabbit.
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Me too. “Please don’t throw me into the briar patch.” 😄
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Yes!
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Briar Rabbit? That bowled me over. Haven’t heard his name dropped since the last time I was bold enough to bow….
Oops… misread te prompt. My bad!
🥣X 🎳X
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You were close, though. 😄X
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Yeah… well there is no cigar involved. OX
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Ha! Ha! Off to the races it is. I immediately pictured the old fashioned goggles the racers wore in the thirties. 🙂
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Those were the ones I meant. 😄
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