Wednesday AKA Hump and Story Day

April 23, 2014April 22, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

Wednesday is story day. Today’s story is about friends and helping others. We all want to help others and I’m sure we mean to help as much as possible. Sometimes things get in the way when we have good intentions, but don’t follow through. You know what I mean. For example, an author helped you launch a book on their blog, bought it, read it and put an amazing review up on Amazon and Goodreads. Sure you meant to pay back when they launched theirs, but after all, you were so busy with your own events, you really didn’t have the time. No time even to list it as a “want to read” on Goodreads. Well let’s be honest, you don’t really want to take the time. Besides, you heard from other friends the book was a bit unusual so you decided not to support it and therefore not possibly offend your friends. Well, if this sounds familiar this story is dedicated to you.

“Hey what are you doing?”

“Hi Frank. Making out a list of my friends.”

“Really why are you? Sounds like a waste of time.”

“Ha ha very funny.”

“No I mean who actually makes a list for their friends. You know who they are, isn’t that enough?”

“Well you would think so, but I am a little confused about who are really friends.”

“What difference does it makes. Friends are friends unless you want something.”

“What do you mean want something?”

“Friends tend to disappear when you ask them for things.”

“Then are they really friends?”

“Well do you define friendship in terms of what you get or what you give?”

“I never thought of it before, but I’ll have to say a little of both.”

“Now you’re talking. If you actually believe in give and take then I think you have a good idea of what friends are.”

“So what is the issue?”

“Not everyone believes the same way as you do.”

“What about you. Do you believe we are friends?”

“Yeah I believe we are close friends.”

“And you believe in give and take?”

“Sure I do.”

“Would you loan me twenty dollars?”

“What? And ruin a good friendship? “

Wednesday Story Day

April 16, 2014April 14, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

The mid-week rest period is here. It is time to take a breather and prepare yourself for the rest of the week push. It is kind of funny how a small rest while engaged in some trying work can give you a second wind. This is really true of writing. I know after a few hours pounding the keyboard I am ready for something little different. Sometimes I take a break from the novel (third in the series) and do a little story. This is actually how story Wednesday came about. After two days of dealing with protagonist angst, it is really quite nice to let the brain rest and allow a story to flow where it may. After that exercise it is nice to return to the problem of the day with a new outlook. I’ll bet this works in other than writing situations as well. Try it and if your boss catches you writing a short story explain it is in lieu of a coffee break.

This week’s story is about a person who is in the situation described above and caught by the boss writing a story. It is titled: Caught. Hope you like it.

“So Al what are you doing there?”

“Uh . . . I’m just relaxing a minute.”

“Relaxing? It looks to me like you are writing something with a number two pencil no less.”

“Well yeah Frank. I’m writing a little story.”

“A little story? You are writing a story? About what?”

“Oh it’s about the office.”

“You have time to write stories? You know I’m still waiting for the Dilbert contract.”

“Yeah I know. I should have it to you by this afternoon.”

“Well that will be good considering it is two days late. Let me ask, will you be done with your story by then?”

“Oh it’s all finished.”

“All finished? Can I read it?”

“Why would you want to read it?”

“Well the way I look at it, you wrote it on company time and therefore it by rights belongs to the company. I represent the company so I have a right to read it.”

“I was using my coffee break time.”

“You union Al?”

“No.”

“Then coffee break time does not officially exist. It is a custom not a right. Hand it over.”

“It’s kind of personal.”

“Al?”

“Here you go.”

“Alright let me see. Humm the story opens with you coming into work. You grab a cup of coffee. More break time huh Al? Then you go to your cube. Boy this is exciting. Then your boss comes in and catches you writing a story. This sounds like real life Al. He demands to see the story. Uh Huh. While reading the story a large black shadow creeps up from the floor and surrounds the boss whose name is Frank. Geeze Al this is crap. Let’s see where was I? Oh yes here it is. The boss calls the work crap and then the large shadow . . .”

“Go ahead Frank. Then the large shadow does what?”

Wednesday Story Day

April 9, 2014April 4, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

Wednesday again. It came quick this week and we are happy it is here. In recognition of the day I try to write a story which has some deeper meaning than what is presented. I guess you have caught on to my little game by now. This weeks’s story is no exception and tells about a guy getting a call on his cell phone from someone he doesn’t know. I’m sure we all have had such call before. This one may be a little different. I have titled it The Call.

“Yeah hello.”

“Who’s this?”

“Whattya mean who’s this, you called me.”

“I did? Huh must have butt dialed you.”

“In order to butt dial me you needed to have called me before and I don’t recognize your voice.”

“Yours sounds a little familiar, but I am having trouble believing who it is.”

“Alright if this is a crank call let’s just hang up.”

“No wait. I don’t think it is a crank call. Let me ask you something.”

“Make it quick I’m busy and I’m outside and the wind is picking up.”

“Okay okay. Your name is Frank right?”

“Now wait a minute. Who the hell is this?”

“You won’t believe me until I ask you another question.”

“Now you have my curiosity up. What’s the question?”

“You are standing on the corner of Main and Charles right?”

“Yes, yes I am. How do you know? Are you spying on me? If so why don’t you show yourself.”

“No I’m not spying. Damn you are hard-headed.”

“Oh so let’s get to name calling now. I’m hanging up.”

“No don’t do it. Would it surprise you to know I am also standing at Main and Charles?”

“W-What? There is no one here but me.”

“And me.”

“Where?”

“What year is this?”

“Who cares?. You are pissing me off.”

“Just tell me the year.”

“ It’s 2014. Why”

“I thought so. I am here at Main and Charles and it is 2016”

“2016. Now you are sounding nuts.”

“Oh yeah? Try this. You’re Frank. You work at the Savings and Loan. You are not married and live in a one bedroom apartment. You keep cash in your underwear drawer and you haven’t been with a female for two years.”

How did you know all that?”

“I’m you two years from now that’s how.”

“I gotta sit down. You sure about this?”

“I knew it the minute we started talking.”

“How did this happen?”

“I’m not sure, but do me a favor.”

“Yeah what is it?”

“Look both ways when you cross the street from now on. Bye Frank.”

“Wait. Stock prices . . . let me ask you about stock prices. Hello . . .hello?”

Wednesday – Mid Week Story Day

April 2, 2014March 28, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 21 Comments

Wednesday is upon us again and time for a story. Please tell me if this Wednesday thing is too routinized cause if it is, I sure don’t want to keep busting my hump (heh heh worked it in) on the day to create something you don’t like. After all this blog is not for me . . . hold on. Wait this blog is for me. What am I saying? I have been reading too much about how to write an interesting blog. I’m starting to get sensitive to what I think y’all would like to see. STUFF THAT. I need to tell a story about a sensitive man in an insensitive world and that’s what I’m going to do. The title is “Hey You” I really do hope you like it.

“Hey you. Where you going?”

“I was just going to get a bite to eat.”

“You can’t leave the room. Your number hasn’t been called.”

“Yeah, but I’m really hungry. I haven’t had a thing to eat all day.”

“Well that is your problem you were told to bring a lunch.”

“Yes I know, but you see my wife is in the hospital and I went to see her this morning and didn’t have time to grab a lunch.”

“Still not my problem chief. Now go sit down before I need to call someone.”

“She’s very sick and I have a couple of kids that need to be cared for as well.”

“Sure we all have kids. I will ask you to sit one more time before I call security.”

“Okay I am sitting. No need to get anyone else in here.”

“So where is your wife?”

“She is in Mercy hospital. She came down with the flu and then it got worse.”

“That’s not good. Where are the kids?”

“We have a sitter who comes in.”

“Well that’s good. At least they are not alone. What is your number anyway?”

“Uh, let me get it. Here it is, number sixty-five.”

“Oh man. They are only on twenty-one. You have quite a wait. Tell you what. You go grab some lunch and promise me you’ll be back in a half hour.”

“Oh sir that is so nice of you.”

“Yeah well, don’t mention it and don’t tell anybody.”

“Okay I will just slip out.”

“Go ahead.”

“Hey where is that guy going?

“He needs to go see a sick wife. What’s it to you?”

“Well I know he is number sixty-five and I am sixty-six. If he doesn’t come back then my number will be up when possibly I wouldn’t have been served today.”

“Yeah so?”

“I know this euthanasia for science research thing is voluntary and the money is good, but I don’t think I am ready to go through with it.”

“Shoulda thought of that before you signed the contract. Now go sit down.”

Look Out it is Wednesday – Story Day

March 26, 2014March 22, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 14 Comments

Wednesday is as Wednesday Does which is basically the job to provide hope the week will eventually reach Friday. Once Wednesday is over, it is just one wake-up till Friday which we all believe we can endure. After all, what is one twenty-four hour day between the workweek and our precious weekend? Wednesday is also story day here on Fiction Favorites. Today’s story explores the concept of show time which is something we all have some concern about during the week if we plan on attending an event on the weekend. I hope you enjoy it.

“What time did you say the show starts?”

“Not sure I said, but it is eight o’clock.”

“Oh good. That gives us some time to grab a bite to eat before.”

“Well I’m not sure you should eat before.”

“Not eat before? Are you kidding? Eight o’clock is way past my dinner time.”

“Yeah I understand, but sometimes you should try to break out of your routine and do something different.”

“What do you mean routine?”

“Well you insist on eating dinner at six-thirty. I would think just this once you could wait a little longer since the show is part of the dinner hour.”

“Are you saying they will be serving dinner at the show?”

“Well not exactly serving dinner, but some dinner might be available.”

“What are you saying then?”

“Well we will be going out into the coliseum right?”

“Yeah I understand that.”

“Who else do you think will be going out into the coliseum?”

“I don’t really know.”

“You don’t? I am really surprised. Have you never been to the coliseum before?”

“No this is my first time.”

“Well you will enjoy it then. They send a bunch of humans out onto the coliseum floor with us.”

“What do they do that for?”

“Ah you are going to like this part. We get to eat them.”

“Really. Now I’m interested. You mean we just help ourselves?”

“Sometimes they have guys with swords, so the meal is a little harder to come by. Other times the people have no weapons and it is a cake walk.”

“I see now why you said not to worry about dinner. Count me into the out of routine category. What is the name of the show anyway?”

“Romans versus the Lions or is it Lions versus the Romans? I’m not sure. It’s something like that.”

Wednesday Story Day AKA Hump Day

March 19, 2014March 15, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

Another Wednesday. As a celebration of Wednesday there is a story to be told each week. In case you wondered, all the stories are written for this post and are original. I continually wonder if these stories are what you want to read. I have been reading up on what makes a good blog and have to admit some of the advice seems to make sense. Well . . . it seems to make sense for those bloggers who follow the advice. For instance; the advice says the blog can be really long and if enough good content is there, people will read it. This does make sense, since there are a number of really good blogs out there where the writer has over 4000 words and about as many followers. I try to keep mine to less than 400 words and up until recently I could say I had about that many followers. Maybe there is some relationship between number of words and followers. I sure hope not. I have this belief people are way too busy to read every blog they follow anyway and to have to read several at 4000 words it doesn’t take much time to get to 80,000 words. This would be like reading a book a day. So unless y’all have any objections I’ll go against the advice and keep it short. Which brings up the story for today:

“You asked for comments and here is mine. I really like your blog. You seem to understand the subject and it is presented in a very interesting way. I am following you.”

Your comment is in moderation

“Dear Frank. Thank you for following my blog. I had a chance to go and visit yours and am following you as well.”

Your comment is in moderation

“Thank you George for the follow. I hope you like my blog as much as I like yours. In case you want to read my book here is a link.” http://amazon.com/mybook/frankthejerk

“Yeah thanks for the link. I guess you never thought about certain rules regarding hijacking a comment section of a blog with personal promotion.”

“Gee. I did not mean to get you in a wad. I really thought you would like my book.” 🙂

“I’m not in a wad, but I have spent a lot of time on preparing this post and hate to see it ripped off with a book promotion.” 😦

“Well I really didn’t mean to rip off your blog with one little comment. I guess you are really sensitive.” 😉

“I don’t think sensitive covers it. This is not appropriate behavior.”

“Who made up the rules. You?”

“No. I just write this blog.”

“Figures.”

“What does that mean?”

“I‘ve noticed certain bloggers invite comments, but when they come in they have a problem with them” 😦

“I don’t think that is the point.”

“So what is the point?”

“You have used my blog to promote your book. If I promoted your book on my blog it would be a different matter. You did not even ask.”

“Oh I understand. Okay let me ask; will you promote my book on your blog?”

Your comment is in moderation

Wednesday Story for Hump Day

March 12, 2014March 11, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 6 Comments

No that is not me in the blue hat.

Wednesday comes so fast. We are in the middle of the week and time for a story. Also our little community here at the beach is right inside the first week of Spring Break. The stories I could tell which are not Fiction Favorites. This time of year we absolutely hibernate in order to avoid the chaos. We go to the store only when we absolutely need to go since we buy about two weeks’ worth of stuff so we won’t have to go downtown. Unless the lime juice runs out there is no need to go there. Going downtown normally takes about four minutes. During spring Break you may be lucky to make it in an hour. Sometimes the mayhem gets so out of hand you have no choice but to turn around and go back home. Those of us in the know, simply don’t go out. Enough of my lesson on living in a place where every drunken young adult wants to congregate and drink more. Yeah you are right. We knew this would happen. It’s like hurricanes, we know they could arrive, but it doesn’t stop us from living here.

“So where do you want to go to dinner tonight?”

“Eh I don’t care. You choose.”

“Okay. There is a good pizza place downtown.”

“Mmmm naw. Pizza is loaded with fat and calories.”

“How about a nice burger. The Ground Cow has some really good burgers.”

“Well. . . I gave up beef a couple of years ago. I just don’t want to violate my body with cow flesh.”

“There is a real nice seafood place and we can walk there.”

“Eu seafood. You mean the stuff that comes out of the Gulf?”

“Ah well yeah and it’s really fresh.”

“I hate to be picky, but I just don’t know where the seafood has been and I’m gonna pass.”

“Okay how about a salad then?”

“I’m not sure. You think the greens are okay? I mean I hear a lot about salmonella and stuff.”

“I guess I give up. What can you have for dinner?”

“I think we can stay right here on the beach. These blue corn chips are great and the green tea is cold. There is Grey Goose in the cooler. What else do we need? Besides I can’t stand up. Oh by the way. Got a light?”

Hump Day is as Hump Day Does

March 5, 2014February 28, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 6 Comments

I know the video has nothing to do with Hump day, but I really think this song is something we should think about now and then. It does relate to the story so I decided to put it up there anyway. Yes it is hump day after all and time for another story. This one is about a guy who asks a fellow worker for a favor. Hope you like it.

Frank makes his way down the hall. He needs to see Ronny about a loan and Ronny’s cube is in the next section of the building. Ronny’s Section BB is about a stone’s throw from section AA where Frank works. He always thought it strange how the company labeled the various rooms of the office. You would think they could just call it section A, he thinks to himself the many times he traversed the hall. Ronny and Frank are friends as well as co-workers. Even though they don’t have the same boss they feel they have a co-worker bond in addition to the friendship.

Frank weaves around the various cubes walls until the maze ends up and Ronny’s place.

“Hey Ronny.”

“Crap Frank. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I’m sorry. Can you chat a minute?”

“Yeah sure. Move that shit of the chair and have a seat.”

“You sure you’re not busy?”

“Oh oh looks like you need some money.”

“How did you know?”

“Whenever you are polite, you need money.”

“Well I resemble that.”

“I’m sure. So how much do you need?”

“How much you got?”

“Come on Frank, quit kidding. How much?”

“Well I need twenty but will take five.”

“Oh sure, let me get a five.”

“Not five dollars Ronny. Five thousand.”

“W-What. Five thousand? What the hell for?”

“I really need twenty, but the five will keep me alive until next week.”

“Keep you alive. What are you saying?”

“Um, I borrowed so to speak twenty thousand from a guy and now I need to pay it back.”

“Why did you do that?”

“This guy said if I didn’t give him twenty thousand he was going to throw me off the Empire State Building.”

“Just like that? He demands twenty thousand. Why didn’t you go to the police?”

“Couldn’t. I paid a guy twenty thousand not to kill another guy.”

“Aw Frank. This is becoming way too complex. I don’t have twenty thousand to give you and how in god’s name did you get yourself into this mess.”

“Well the guy they were going to kill was a friend of mine and the killer said he would not do it for twenty thousand. So I burrowed the twenty from another guy who now wants it back or I go sailing off the Empire State building.”

“Good luck on this Frank. You should have never gotten involved in the first place. I can’t help you.”

“Of course there is another alternative.”

“Yeah what is that?”

“I could collect the twenty if I killed the guy myself.”

“Frank. Listen to me. You are a big boy and for some reason you are acting like a kid. Do you know why they wanted your friend killed?”

“Yeah. He was playing the market and came up short. He owes them a bunch of money and it looks like they won’t get it.”

“So you got yourself into the middle. Is this friend worth it?”

“I don’t know Ronny are you?”

“Me? What the hell you talking about? What are going to do with that gun?”

“Don’t you owe some guys a bunch of money?”

“No. Did they tell you I did?”

“Yes. They said they were going to kill you if I didn’t give them the twenty.”

“Shit I didn’t think it would come to this. Yeah I do owe them the money”

“So can I have the twenty?”

“I don’t have it.”

“I think you better come with me Frank. Very quietly.”

Did you ever do a favor for someone and they not appreciate it?

Break the Fourth Wall – Happy Hump Day

February 26, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

Yay. We made it to Wednesday. Give yourself a pat on the behind. (Don’t worry no one will think a thing of it as long as it is your behind.). Time for a story. This one is a real experiment brought about by Charles Yallowitz discussing the fourth wall on this post on February 19^th. I was very intrigued and decided to give it a try. To review and to quote Charles, “One of the most popular tricks to do these days is ‘Break the 4th Wall’. For those that don’t know, this means for a character to interact with the audience. The 4th wall refers to where the audience is sitting since a stage would have a back wall, right wall, left wall, and then nothing in the front.” So here goes.

How does it feel? By John W. Howell

“Hey Harry. Look out there.”

“Where?”

“Out there beyond the computer screen. Out where folks are reading what you say.”

“Huh?”

“All those people on the other side of our computer, drinking coffee and, checking out their reader for something interesting.”

“Oh yeah I see them.”

“Pretty funny huh?”

“Can they see what we say?”

“Oh yeah every word.”

“So if we talk dirty they will see us?”

“I wouldn’t do that Harry. They can see every word.”

“What do they want from us?”

“They want to be entertained. Don’t you folks?”

“I can’t hear them.”

“Doesn’t matter. They will agree I’m sure. Who doesn’t want to be entertained? Right you guys?”

“So what do we do?”

“Well . . . we could rant about something. That’s pretty entertaining.”

“I don’t have anything to rant about.”

“Doesn’t matter. A rant is entertaining and people love it. Watch. How about those stupid people in Washington? Can’t they get anything right? Am I right people? Does anyone have a solution to the problem?”

“I hear crickets Frank. I don’t think this fourth wall break through is working.”

“Sure it is. Look at all the ‘Likes’ we are collecting.”

“Frank.”

“Yes Harry.”

“Give it up. There is no body there.”

“Is Harry right? I could sing a song . . . Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do.”

Hump Day is as Hump Day Does

February 19, 2014February 17, 2014 ~ John W. Howell ~ 10 Comments

Today is Wednesday and time for another story. This one tells of a writer and actor going through some of the story line. Of course this is fiction, but actually served a purpose in saving $250.00 of couch time at the feelings doctor. The video is the Hump Day Camel in a public service announcement. Still funny.

Hope you enjoy.

“So who’s the character supposed to be?”

“He is a lying no good son-of-a-bitch. That’s who he is supposed to be.”

“I know, but I am trying to get a real feeling for the person here. I can’t play the character unless I feel the person. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah I know all you actors have some kind of method. Is that what you are talking about?”

“No, not really. Method is an overused term. I’m just trying to get the motivation for the part.”

“Oh like you aren’t making a ton of money? Something else?”

“Now don’t be mean. You writers think our art is so easy since we make it look easy. We take some half backed character you dream up and put real life into your cardboard cutout. We round the character with our own interpretation of behaviors.”

“Yeah I can see that. You take the limp outline which I put on paper then you add some action, scenery and color and voila, a perfect performance.”

“I think you are getting a little carried away. You sound like I am saying acting is more important than writing.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I’m just saying without actors the written characterizations mean nothing.”

“Okay how’s this? Your character sometimes gets into a deep depression from having to work with real idiots. He tries to work through his depression by engaging in acts of violence targeted to those who cause him to become depressed in the first place.”

“Oh I like it. A dark character. Does he wear black?”

“Yes he does and in addition, when he is stalking his prey, he puts on black skin-tight gloves.”

“Much like the ones you are putting on?”

“Yes very much like. Then he lays in wait for the fool to make an appearance.”

“Does he have a gun?”

“No, no, no, he uses a long stiletto like this one right here. He grabs the victim from behind and with one quick draw of the knife he severs the jugular and laughs as the sucker dies. Wanna see?”

“Um . . . you are making me feel uncomfortable. Maybe we should call it a day.”

“Oh yeah. Let’s call it a day. In fact, let’s just say you call it . . . and make my day.”