Wednesday is story day to celebrate Hump Day. Since this is Wednesday there will be no exception. Today’s story tells of a young man thinking he has a solution to his problems. I hope you enjoy.
The holdup by John W. Howell ©2104
“Yes Sir, can I help you?”
“Er . . . why yes. I need to make a withdrawal.”
“I can help you with that. Do you have a withdrawal slip filled out, or do you wish for me to do it?”
“N-No I have it fill out. Here take it.”
“Oh my sir. This is not a proper withdrawal slip. This is a note.”
“Y-Yes just follow the instructions.”
“Let me see. It says to put all the money in a bag and don’t tough the alarm. I have a gun and I ain’t afraid to use it.”
“T-That’s what is says alright.”
“Sir I need to help you a bit here. First of all, you don’t want to put in writing you have a gun.”
“W-Why not?”
“When you say something about a gun this crime becomes armed robbery whether or not you have a gun. You see, in this state, the mere belief the perpetrator is armed is just as intimating as if you waved a gun around. Also, you just admitted to the higher offense in writing.”
“Just get the money and cut the chatter.”
“Secondly your note has a number of typos in it. As a substitute school teacher I just don’t have respect for you when you make these kinds of mistakes.”
“Mistakes where?”
“Here see the word ‘tough’ right here. I think you meant ‘touch.’ Don’t touch the alarm. Am I right?”
“Yes, but so what?”
“Also the word ‘ain’t’ should never be used in this context. You should say ‘I am not afraid to use it.’”
‘Well you got that right. I am not afraid to use it.”
“You actually have a gun?”
“Well. . . no not really.”
“Okay here’s what we are going to do. I’m going to tear up this note and give it back to you. You go home and think about what you did today. If you still want to hold up the bank, you come back tomorrow with a proper note. Do you understand young man?”
“Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.”
