Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Outside.

September 28, 2023September 27, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 109 Comments

Hey, Dad. Open the door. I left Cheeseburger out there.”

“Coming, Little one.”

“Thank heavens it’s still here.”

“Who would take Cheeseburger?”

“That delightful aroma? Any number of wild beasts.”

“I don’t think we have wild beasts around here.”

You-have-got-to-be-kidding-me right now. No beasts?”

“Well, I haven’t seen any.”

“Hello. Earth to Dad. That’s because I patrol the perimeter and stop incursions before they happen.”

“I know you were effective but never gave beasts a thought.”

“Like right now. A Rhino is just waiting for me to go inside before breaching the fence.”

“You sure?”

“If there is anything I’m sure of, it’s Rhino scent.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word. How long are you going to keep watch?”

“The shift whistle just blew. The Rhino and I are off for the day.”

“Shift whistle?”

“Yeah, we put in an honest day of hunter and hunted and then knock off.”

“I never knew it was so organized.”

“The Predator and Prey union is pretty strong. Sure has made my life easier.”

“That’s a good thing then.”

“Sure beats sitting out in the cold and dark waiting for a stupid Rhino to make a move.”

“I can see that. The commissary is open.”

“Hope they have salmon sashimi on the menu today. I have my mouth set for that.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #400 by Keith Channing

September 26, 2023September 25, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

You can visit Keith’s post. Here’s the link https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/09/25/kreative-kue-400/

The Photo.

“Tell me again. How did this happen?”

“Um. It is not a pleasant story, Doc.”

“Well, to treat it effectively, it would help if I know how you got it.”

“You promise this will stay between us.”

“I have taken an oath. Besides, HIPPA rules would have my butt if I talked about my patient’s treatments.”

“Okay then. I was having a drink or two—”

“Or two?”

“Okay, maybe I lost count. Anyway, I was feeling good and decided to entertain the folks at the party.”

“You didn’t mention a party.”

“There was a party.”

“Go on.”

“I decided to get a few laughs with my juggling.”

“Sounds pretty benign.”

“It was for a while. I started with oranges.”

“Started?”

“Then moved to grapefruit.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then someone suggested watermelon.”

“Still doesn’t look like a problem. This looks pretty nasty, bump.”

“My spouse suggested we leave.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Have you ever ignored your spouse?”

“I can’t say I have.”

“Well, when I ignored the request to leave, my spouse added in a bowling ball to the watermelon mix.”

“Couldn’t handle it, and it came down on your head?”

“No, I was doing fine until the ball-bat came down on my head.”

“Yeah, you’re going to need stitches.”

“And a note to get me back in the house?”

“You must have put on a real show.”

“So they tell me.”

“Not sure a note will work.”

“How about saying I have a terminal illness.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Without a note, it isn’t.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do Holding Up a Bank

September 25, 2023September 24, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

I know it seems silly to be writing about holding up a bank, but this subject came up on July 31, 2017, while discussing the idea with a fellow author. I had done a serial on a fellow named Frank, who was very incompetent when it came to holding up banks. This list came out of a half-hearted attempt to help him out. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to Do Holding Up a Bank

10 If you are holding up a bank, do not hand the teller a note written on the back of one of your checkbook deposit slips; if you do, at best, you need to get the slip back. At worst, the police all-points bulletin will include your name, address, phone number, and the current balance of your account. (Interesting situation having a sheriff’s car waiting in your driveway huh, Buford?)

9 If you are holding up a bank, do not try to convince the teller your banana is a gun. If you do, at best, you will be laughed out of the bank. At worst, Tiny, the WWF champ who has just graduated from security school and desperately wants to try his new taser, is on duty. (Looks like you will be lying on the floor twitching for a while, Tex.)

8 If you are holding up a bank, do not use foul language as part of the process. If you do, at best, one of the customers is your fifth-grade English teacher. At worst, the security camera footage will go viral on YouTube, and your mother will wonder where you learned that kind of language. (It’s hard to explain it was just an act, right, Bosco?)

7 If you are holding up a bank, do not try the caper during non-business hours. If you do, at best, no one will notice you in a ski mask and gloves trying to get in. At worst, if you do get in, all the money will be in a vault, and the alarm system has called the police. (You wonder what those guys mean by, “Come out with your hands up,” Roscoe?)

6 If you are holding up a bank, do not use someone who has been drinking as a getaway driver. If you do, at best, you have to wake them up to get away. At worst, they may plow into the police car on the corner. (The fun part was the cop had no idea a bank robbery was in progress, Buster.)

5 If you are holding up a bank and are successful, do not brag about it on Facebook. If you do, at best, you have so few friends no one will notice. At worst, your post will be forwarded to the police, and you’ll be pinched. (At least the officer gave you a “like,” huh, Putz?)

4 If you are holding up a bank, do not try to push through a door marked “pull.” If you do, at best, you’ll figure it out after a few tries. At worst, you keep bashing the door until the police arrive. (I guess you can blame nerves for your actions, Bunky.)

3 If you are holding up a bank, do not shoot your gun into the ceiling. If you do, at best, you will make a clean getaway. At worst, you will be charged with destruction of property in addition to armed robbery. (Too bad you were caught, Pard.)

2 If you are holding up a bank, do not go through a drive-through for lunch while escaping. If you do, at best, your order will be filled immediately. At worst, you will be asked to pull over while your sandwich is being prepared “especially for you.” It seems the policeman behind you in line had the same sandwich and your license number. ( Those red and blue lights mean something, Ferd.)

1 If you are holding up a bank, do not accept a bag of money that contains a dye pack. If you do, At best, it won’t go off until you get home. At worst, the dye pack will go off as you are walking down the street, subsequently trailing red smoke. (Pretty hard to try to explain the smoke as a lunch that didn’t agree with you, huh, Ralph?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Wildlife

September 24, 2023September 23, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 93 Comments

Today, we will check on the critters in our neighborhood to see how they are doing. We are catered by Nixta Taqueria, and our entertainment is The Troggs

Menu (click to enlarge)

Picture of an old time school bus Time to go

A Buck looks like he needs to train a member of the herd.

A doe and fawn crossing the road. (Don’t ask why. The chicken covered it before.)

Fawn in our Driveway. The spots have faded.

Joined by its Mama.

And an aunt and cousin.

Whoops, a few more.

A shot of the clan who visit us each day. One has already wandered off.

Asking what we are doing there with a hoof stomp.

Three does. One drinking rainwater off the manhole cover during the drought

One who still has spots.

A Texas Armadillo looking for breakfast.

An Axis Deer chillin’ in the neighborhood. He always keeps his spots.

Well, that’s the tour. I hope you enjoyed it. TimIt’s time have some food and listen to the Trogs. I hope you have a super week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Last/Lest/List/Lost and a Mannerly Lust

September 23, 2023September 22, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

The coffee hit the brain like a falling Moslier safe. So needy was the cortex for some soothing syrup it almost reached out to grab the cup. Of course, what has been playing on my mind is that problem on the front porch. Yes, the URN is the last thought at night and first in the morning. Lest anyone think that the URN has been forgotten, there is a list so the subject is not lost. My lust for it to be gone runneth over.

First security bypass. The tower machine guns are deactivated, the moat screen rolled, the concertina wire retracted, the boiling oil set to standby, the claymore mines detached, The trebuchet reset, the iron gate opened, and the locks and bolts thrown. The front door is open, and the hope that someone ran off with the URN is dashed. It still stands there, calling my name. Wanting to break into song with a really bad version of I Can’t Sleep at Night by the Mamas and Papas only makes the nerves pulse more. Refraining from torturing every cat and dog ear for miles, the song remains unsung.

Gently knocking on the URN brings a not-too-subtle response from inside. “GO AWAY.” Not content with the possibility of being devoured by the resident of the URN, another knock is delivered. This time, the top of the URN lands at my feet, and the head of Oscar the grouch pops into view. “What Did I Just Say?”

My mumbles are lost on the fact that he throws me an envelope and disappears back into the URN. Inside the envelope is a letter from Dan Antion, who is communicating for Linda Hill. It says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “Last/Lest/List/Lost.” Use them in any form you like. Use one, use two, or use them all. Bonus points if you use all four. I’ll chip in extra bonus points if you use the word formed from the missing vowel in a well-mannered way, but behave yourselves lest you lose all your bonus points… Enjoy!

To see how others handle this prompt, visit Linda’s blog. Here is the link.https://lindaghill.com/2023/09/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-23-2023/

“Well, you got the bonus points.”

“Yup, and Dan needs to give me four more lug nuts.”

“Lug nuts?”

“I’m saving for a Bentley Convertable, and the bonus points today get me four lug nuts.”

“The things that hold the wheels on?”

“The very same.”

“How many do you have now.”

“Four.”

“Enough for one wheel.”

“No, it takes five for one.”

“But you only have four.”

“The bonus points don’t buy a lot.”

“Okay, so with today’s booty, you will have enough for a wheel with three left over from the last.”

“Lest you think I’m crazy, the points will mount up.”

“There is more on the crazy list than these lug nuts.”

“I think I lost your meaning there.”

“Don’t try to catch up. Besides, I lust for a VooDoo Ranger.”

“Uber on its way.”

“Already here. Look over there.”

“What the heck is that?”

“Looks like a Nash Rambler to me.”

“Could be worse, I suppose. At least it’s not a tractor.”

“Be careful of what you are grateful for. Let’s go.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay/ Good News

September 22, 2023September 21, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

Today’s Good News story comes from the Good News Network. Here is in its entirety.

Tasmanian Tiger RNA Recovered from Preserved Specimen in Groundbreaking World First

Andy Corbley – Sep 21, 2023

A team of Scandinavian researchers has recovered messenger and micro RNA from a Tasmanian tiger specimen kept in a museum collection.

It’s the first-ever collection of RNA from an extinct creature in history, an achievement long sought after in the study of extinct species and for other applications.

The Tasmanian tiger, or thylacine, was truly unique for an apex predator. This large predatory marsupial was king among Tasmanian forests, which remain largely intact since its extinction 130 years ago.

For this reason, the potential resurrection of the thylacine has received a lot of attention, as it would immediately solve many problems facing the balance of the Tasmanian ecosystem without the complexities of trying to replace the apex predator role with a non-native animal.

The thylacine evolved on Tasmania, and putting it back would be by far the easiest solution, provided the incredibly difficult task of somehow recreating the thylacine through paleogenomics could be accomplished. Colossal Biosciences in Texas is currently working to produce viable thylacine-like embryos using already sequenced DNA to raise in surrogates over the next few years.

Now, though, a Swedish-Norwegian team has isolated the transcriptome of the skin and skeletal muscle tissues from a 130-year-old desiccated Tasmanian tiger specimen preserved at room temperature in the Swedish Museum of Natural History in Stockholm.

The functional difference between DNA and RNA is that DNA stores genetic information that only RNA can read. RNA reads and carries out the instructions for protein coding contained within DNA.

The researchers were able to isolate useable RNA from a thylacine that carried instructions for skin and skeletal muscle coding, which might be key to any resurrection.

“This is the first time that we have had a glimpse into the existence of thylacine-specific regulatory genes, such as microRNAs, that got extinct more than one century ago,” says Marc R. Friedländer, Associate Professor at the Wenner-Gren Institute at Stockholm University.

The authors point out that museum collections around the world contain vast collections of endangered and extinct species, and their technique for recovering the thylacine RNA holds promise for the study and or protection of all these creatures.

They write that the RNA from the thylacine looks a lot like that of existing marsupials.

“Resurrecting the Tasmanian tiger or the woolly mammoth is not a trivial task and will require a deep knowledge of both the genome and transcriptome regulation of such renowned species, something that only now is starting to be revealed,” says Emilio Mármol, the lead author of a study recently published in the Genome Research journal.

The idea of resurrecting a species has nothing to do with cloning and has so far centered around the idea of altering the genetic expression of the animal’s closest living relative in utero. In the case of the wooly mammoth, it would be the elephant, and in the case of the thylacine, perhaps the fat-tailed dunnart or Tasmanian devil.

The good news in this article is that possibly extinct animals can be resurrected using what is learned in this case. Today’s JohnKu talks about reversing extinction. I hope you have a super weekend.

What used to be lost,

Through science has a slim chance . . .

Of resurrection.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy the Brave

September 21, 2023September 20, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 114 Comments

“So, a little sunbath huh?”

“Now that the temps are tolerable, a sun bath is just what I need.”

“It does look comfortable.”

“You have no idea. The stress of modern life can get to ya.”

“Well, you deserve to relax.”

“Sush. What is that noise?”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Of course not. You have human ears. One step above none.”

“If it’s a danger, I would have heard it.”

“Says the man who routinely allows the FedEx guy onto the porch.”

“So what is it?”

“I’m not sure, but it sounded like a pterodactyl.”

“Those things are extinct.”

“Says the man who never fought a saber-toothed tiger. Now sush. I’m on it.”

“Well?”

“For heaven’s sake. It’s that stupid gecko calling for something.”

“You let him go?”

“Of course. I have better things to do than to bother with an insurance symbol.”

“How do you know it’s not dangerous?”

“Look at him. He changes colors more often than I change my mind. How can that technicolor reptile be dangerous?”

“Where to now?”

“Thought I heard a Rhino by the other gate.”

“You go, girl.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #399 by Keith Channing

September 19, 2023September 18, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

The photo.

Visit Keith’s blog to see what others do with this prompt. Here is the link: https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/09/18/kreative-kue-399/

“Look through your scope and tell me what you see.”

“Yeah, you are right. It’s a man with a dog.”

“Any idea what he is doing here?”

“I don’t have a clue. But if he keeps walking in this direction, no tellin’ what will happen.”

“He’s got something slung over his shoulder. Can you see it?”

“Yeah. I can’t make it out.”

“Sachel bomb, you think?”

“Could be, but looks more like a lunch.”

“How can you tell that?”

“I’ve never seen a sachel bomb in a Yeti tote.”

“Could be a clever ruse.”

“I suppose. I’m more worried about that poor dog.”

“What about it?”

“He’s got it on the end of some kind of tether.”

“Which means?”

“Could be a remote-controlled explosive device.”

“Is the dog real?”

“Looks that way.”

“Man, talk about a cold-blooded killer. Uses a live dog as a bomb.”

“I don’t know, but I don’t get a killer vibe out of this guy.”

“How so?”

“Given the white whiskers and the country dress, I take him for a blogger.”

“A blogger. What the heck is a blogger?”

” Solitary beast that continues to write no matter what.”

“What makes you think he’s a blogger?”

“Aside from the dress, who else would be walking along a solitary road in the country with a dog on a rope?”

“I’ll take your word for it. So do we let him get close or vaporize him?”

“I say we let him pass. I’m sure he is harmless.”

“How would he react to the description that he’s harmless?”

“Probably write an angst-filled post about people experiencing harmlessness. The feeling would pass in a day after all the comments from empathetic readers.”

“Can we get into this blogging thingy?”

“What? Give up this vital security overwatch assignment and go back home?”

“Does sound pretty good.”

“And we have spare fuel for the ship.”

“And it’s only ten lightyears.”

“We would be the first bloggers. Our first post could be titled ‘Coming Home.'”

“On second thought, we have a job to do.”

“Yeah. Our world is counting on us. Another Earthling will come along.”

“One every hundred Earth years.”

“We need to be here.”

“Besides, it’s Taco Tuesday.”

“Settled then. We stay.”

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Writer

September 18, 2023September 10, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

Today’s post was first published on August 7th, 2017. I think it is still current. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

This list was inspired by going out into public over the weekend. I am always amazed at some of the things people say once they find out you write full-time.

Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Writer

10 If you meet a writer, do not tell them you have a book you have meant to write. If you do, at best, they will walk away. At worst, they will ask how come you haven’t written it yet? (That is a pretty uncomfortable silence, isn’t it, Bunky?)

9 If you meet a writer, do not ask about their royalties. If you do, at best, they will offer to buy you a drink. At worst, they will ask you to pick up the bar tab. (That was the saddest poor-mouth story you ever heard, huh Ralph?)

8 If you meet a writer, do not ask about a movie deal. If you do, at best, you’ll have to listen to the impossibilities of getting a film deal. At worst, you’ll have to supply the tissues and offer large, soothing hugs. (It’s almost like this guy is never going to stop sobbing, right, Tex?)

7 If you meet a writer named Tiny the WWF champ, do not tell him you have not read his book. If you do, at best, his disappointment will cause you to cry. At worst, he will hold you on his lap and read it to you. ( It is hard to get away, isn’t it, Buford?)

6 If you meet a writer, do not tell them how you would have ended the book. If you do, at best, the look you get should be photographed and filed under incredulity in Wikipedia. At worst, the writer might just leave the gathering and work out previous rejection traumas by consuming a gallon of ice cream. (No, you are not invited to join the ice cream social, Putz.)

5 If you meet a writer, do not ask what they do for “real work.” If you do, at best, they will humor you with lawn-cutting stories. At worst, they will give you the impression that they eliminate ignorant people for money. ( You have to admit if this guy writes as well as he frightens, he’s good, huh, Bosco?)

4 If you meet a writer, do not ask them to review your manuscript. If you do, at best, they will try to change the subject. At worst, they will say yes and try, as they may never find the time to read it. (You should join a critique group Buster, and quit bothering people you just met.)

3 If you meet a writer, do not ask them what brand of whiskey they drink. If you do, at best, they will think you are joking. At worst, the writer will grasp the stereotype and provide you with an obscure brand name that costs $100 a bottle. (A pretty expensive way to get inspired, hey, Pal?)

2 If you meet a writer, do not ask them what they do in their spare time. If you do, at best, you’ll get a vague answer along the lines of washing the dog. At worst, you’ll have to stand and listen to what sounds like a description of a person with Attention Deficit Disorder describing a typical work month. (The big question now is how do you make a getaway right, Prince?)

1 If you meet a writer, do not mention that you haven’t written a review of their book on Amazon. If you do, at best, the smile you get is fake. At worst, you’ll have to hear a long story about how a writer knows if they are appealing to their readers. (Might have been better to lie, Buddy.)

Views of the Neighborhood Art by Mary Barnes

September 17, 2023September 17, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 89 Comments

Today we are going to the Lakeway City Hall, where there has been an installation of some works by artist Mary Barnes in the art gallery. We are catered by Texas French Bread of Austin. Our entertainment is Chicago.

TFB classic deli sandwiches half/whole

served with tortilla chips & TFB salsa
make it a lunch special (+ cookie and iced tea)
turkey
ham and swiss
chicken salad
vegetarian
pimento cheese
Nicoise sandwich

savory pastry lunches

warm, savory pastry, small market salad or cup of soup
make it a lunch special (+ cookie and iced tea)
butter croissant
everything croissant
green chili & cheese
ham & cheese croissant
spinach & cheese croissant

breakfast sandwich
breakfast tostadas
market salad
soup

Picture of an old time school bus

Jump on, and let’s go

The first oil is titled Glacier Park St. Mary’s Lake. I have to apologize that some of the photos appear off-center or skewed. The lighting was not the best and did cast on the paintings to create a hot spot. I moved around until the hot spot disappeared.