Today, I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 67. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is “approach.” This is the prompt today.
This list was first published on January 18th 2016. Since we all end up in a doctor’s office sooner or later, I think it’s still useful.
Top Ten Things Not to Say in a Doctor’s Office.
10 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say “What’s up, doc?” If you do, at best, you’ll get a look. At worst, the doctor will decide a digital exam is a must-do. (You just had one of these the last time you were here, right?)
9 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I’m not a doctor but play one on TV.” If you do, at best, you’ll get a chuckle. At worst, you will be asked for a diagnosis of yourself. (Who knows if you are right or not)
8 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Do I get some painkillers?” If you do, at best, the doctor will make sure there are no refills. At worst, you will have to pass scrutiny to ensure you’re not a pillhead. (You thought it was an innocent remark, right, Bucky?)
7 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “Why am I still waiting? My time is valuable.” If you do, at best, you will feel better but will still wait longer. At worst, the minimum wage receptionist will accidentally slip your name down the list until you are first tomorrow. (Looking at your watch sixty times an hour won’t help either)
6 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I can get this medicine on the internet at half the price.” If you do, at best, you will be ignored and will still get the prescription. At worst, you will be invited to buy your drugs online and to consult a doctor online as well. (Well. That didn’t work out the way you planned, did it, Homer?)
5 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I have filled out these forms ten times already.” If you do, at best, you will get a kindly smile and a request to fill out the form. At worst, you will be branded a troublemaker, and the clerk will make sure you will need to complete the form until your last day on Earth. (Would have been easier to fill out the form one more time and hope for the best.)
4 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “How soon will the doctor be in to see me?” If you do, at best, the answer will be the same as you’ve heard while waiting on the phone for customer service.”The doctor is busy with other patients and will be here shortly.” At worst, the nurse will inform the doctor that you are in a rush, and he’ll be in and out of your exam room in twenty seconds. (I hope he is right about the need for a barium enema. Aren’t you?)
3 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say,” Please file that insurance paperwork for me.” If you do, at best, the reimbursement will be delayed. At worst, the clerk will quit next Wednesday and toss all the incomplete paperwork in the wastebasket. (Well, it was only a $125.00 after all)
2 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “This is not how Doctor Smith handled me.” If you do, at best, you’ll be informed that Dr. Smith is no longer your doctor and “we” know best. At worst, you will be kindly asked to join Dr. Smith, who is currently working with Doctors Without Borders in the jungle somewhere. (Dr. Smith wasn’t all that good after all, right?)
1 If you are in a doctor’s office, do not say, “I just can’t lose weight no matter what I do.” If you do, at best, you will be given an extensive list of foods you can eat and asked to keep a diary for the next month. At worst, the doctor will provide you with some medicine that makes everything you eat taste like cod liver oil. (Now we both know no such drug exists, so tell me why it works.)
Today, we are going to tour the neighborhood to see how folks have prepared for the below-freezing temperatures that will persist until Monday. Texas has not been spared from the misery of the massive winter storm that has affected over 240 million Americans. We are catered by Briskets in Austin. Our entertainment is Foreigner.
Menu
BISCUIT SANDWICHES
BRISKET & JELLY – Sliced Brisket with Smoked Strawberry Jelly
PORK BELLY & JELLY – Sliced Pork Belly with Spiced Apple Pear Preserves
CHOPPED BRISKET – Tossed in BBQ Sauce with Cheddar Cheese & Pickles
P.B.L.T – Smoked than Seared Pork Belly, Dressed Arugula, & Tomato with Arbol Hot Sauce
SAUSAGE & JELLY – Split 1/2 Link Hot Gut Sausage with Smoked Jalapeño Habanero Pepper Jelly
BLUEBERRY SAUSAGE & JELLY – Split 1/2 Link Blueberry Gouda Sausage with Smoked Blueberry Jam
Today I’m with Book Club Mom and her feature “Who’s That Indie Author.” Barbara has an informative blog and a very entertaining YouTube page. She is very supportive of Indie Authors, and her blog is a great place to visit. Go ahead and check out my interview over there. Here’s the link https://wp.me/p32mlf-5EX
Here is a little about Book Club Mom.
As a mom raising four children, I often found myself with little pockets of time, on the sidelines between games, waiting in the van, waiting in the kitchen (standing up!) or waiting for the kids to get ready for school or sports. I filled that time by reading.
In 2016, after 20 years at home raising children, I traded my van for an economy sedan and started a new career path, first as a library assistant at a public library and three years later, as a reference librarian. At the library, I’m surrounded by books, but libraries are hopping places and we’re too busy to read while we work! I’m inspired by all the books I see and learn about at work, however, and I’m never low on books to read.
The coffee machine sits in silence, waiting for orders. As a hapless slave to a caffeine addiction, there is no way to tolerate a malfunction. Yet the message on the touch pad screen says, “Message 666 see owners manual.” Flipping through the pages, message 666 finally pops up before my caffeine-starved, red-rimmed eyes. “Take Another Look,” was all it said. Looking back at the touchpad screen, the message reads “Got Cha,” and then the menu appears. Shaking my head, the two coffee selections are made, and my patience is rewarded with an eight-ounce mug of brain-saving elixir.
One sip, and the Westminster chimes and Igor’s hounds all begin a cacophony that threatens the eardrums. A quick toss of doggie treats for each and the slamming of the door to the soundproof room brings silence to the Earth. A glance at the security monitor shows Frosty the Snowman on the porch. Of course, the attempt is made to have the delivery left, but as usual, a signature is needed. With a sigh, the security shut-down process begins.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
Frosty points to the clipboard where to sign. After he hands me an envelope and holds out a mitten hand in the classic tip gesture, the tip of the day is delivered. “Better go and play before you melt away.” Stepping back through the front door, I give it a mighty slam. The envelope is from Linda Hill, and the message inside reads: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 24th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “take another look.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas and H-E-B grocery chain have collaborated to create the first Tiny Forest in Austin and Central Texas to help improve canopy cover in communities throughout Austin.
St. Edward’s University and H-E-B have partnered to grow Austin and Central Texas’s first Tiny Forest using the Miyawaki Method. (Courtesy St. Edward’s University)
How it works
On Jan. 17, H-E-B team members, community volunteers, university students, faculty, and staff joined together to plant 54 square meters with 164 trees and shrubs.
The project uses the Miyawaki Method, an approach that enables trees to grow 10 times faster and seclude 10 times more carbon than traditional tree planting methods.
Arborist and sustainability coordinator Roy Johnson explained how the method differs from conventional tree planting.
One of the most noticeable differences in a Miyawaki forest is that the seedlings are planted at very high densities. This replicates the regeneration process that occurs in a natural forest when a clearing in the canopy opens up due to a larger tree falling. The saplings grow very fast to compete for the light, and then natural selection will favour the fastest-growing individuals and act to thin out the trees. The result is a densely packed pioneer forest that grows in 20 to 30 years instead of taking 150 to 200 years. This has obvious benefits for projects that are working to maximize a forest’s carbon sequestration potential or recreate habitat for biodiversity and wildlife.
“We can use this method to provide all of the benefits of conventional tree plantings, such as air and ground water filtration, erosion control, and cooling the air through evapotranspiration,” Johnson said. “However, using this specific and detailed method, trees can be expected to grow much faster than conventional plantings.”
Through this method, the trees planted at the event are expected to reach full maturity within the community’s lifetime, as stated in a news release.
Natural resources intern Veronica Chavez said the project will reduce the negative effects of urbanization on the local community.
“Even on just a local level, a tiny forest can improve air quality, help with stormwater management, and provide a cooling effect for the surrounding areas,” Chavez said. “It also becomes a habitat for local wildlife and pollinators, encouraging increased biodiversity in the area.”
On Jan. 17, community members, students, faculty and H-E-B partners joined together to plant 164 trees and shrubs for the Tiny Forest. (Courtesy St. Edward’s University)
The background
According to the news release, the Miyawaki Method crafted by botanist Akira Miyawaki was inspired by his time witnessing large-scale deforestation from World War II and overdevelopment in Japan.
The project is a proof-of-concept model that can be shared with overdeveloped communities in need of the benefits of trees, such as areas within the eastern crescent of Austin, which typically receive low tree equity scores.
The event marks the second year of the university’s collaboration with H-E-B through its Trees for Texans program, which aims to support healthier environments for schools, parks, and communities throughout Texas.
Get involved
Community members can directly help the Tiny Forest project by participating in a fringe mantel planting in the fall or reaching out to sustainability@stedwards.edu for information about how to plant a tiny forest in their community. Interested individuals can also stay updated with the forest by checking out its Instagram @Seu_food_forest.
Quote of note
“These tiny forests won’t check every box needed for climate change mitigation and environmental justice, but they have the ability to be a massive boost to both,” Johnson said. “It seemed like we should jump on the opportunity to start introducing this concept to Austin sooner rather than later. We are very excited about the potential and very pleased that the ball has started rolling.”
The good news in this story is that humans have found out how to quickly reforest the land for the betterment of all living things. Today’s JohnKu talks about discovery from chaos. I hope you have a super weekend.
Today I randomly opened Detour on the Eternal Road to page 187. With eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger is answer. That is our prompt today.
The inspiration for this list is my three-day-a-week three-mile ride on the single-speed beach cruiser bike. I get some crazy thoughts while moving along, and I thought I would share them with you. This list was first published on January 31, 2017. I hope you enjoy it
10 On a bike, do not think you are riding a motorcycle. If you do, at best, the hand wave you make to the Hells Angels will be ignored. At worst, the leader of the pack, Tiny (WWF champion), will use you as an example of what happens when you mock the Hell’s Angels. (Don’t worry, he will untie you and let you go at the next town or fifty miles, whichever comes first, Ferd.)
9 On a bike, do not think you can take phone calls. If you do, at best, the other end will hear two out of ten words. At worst, you might be distracted enough to miss your turn and end up with a thirty-mile ride. (You have always warned people about that turn, and now you are the poster child, huh, Bunky?)
8 On a bike, do not think riding on a busy highway is the way to go. If you do, at best, you’ll get used to the horn honks. At worst, that eighteen-wheeler blast of air will knock some sense into you as you go airborne. (You were sure people couldn’t fly, weren’t you, Tex?)
7 On a bike, do not insist on exercising your rights to the right of way. If you do, at best, all others will concede. At worst, you’ll confront a passive-aggressive psychopath who has just been told they need to be more assertive. ( That crumpled aluminum mass can be sold for scrap, Buster. Just pick it up and walk the ten miles to the recycle center.)
6 On a bike, do not neglect proper clothing. If you do, at best, you can ignore the stares from those you pass. At worst, the citation for indecent exposure will be seen as a markdown from public lewdness. ( All because of that Speedo, huh, Ace?)
5 On a bike, do not forget that wet roads are slippery. If you do, at best, a couple of slides will be a reminder. At worst, that long hill ending at dead man’s curve seems to be a challenge right now, in that you are going twenty miles an hour straight down. (Brakes are a liability in this situation, aren’t they, Buford?)
4 On a bike, do not forget that insects will hit you at the speed you are going. If you do, at best, a couple of moth hits is all you will experience. At worst, you’ll have the pleasure of being dismounted by the largest June bug on the planet. (This is not a joust, and there is no princess kiss at the end, either, Duke.)
3 On a bike, do not watch the scenery more than the road. If you do, at best, you’ll get a warning to return to your lane. At worst, that lovely cottage and flower garden holding your attention is at the corner of the road and a drainage ditch. (mud and water are easy to get off you. What about the bike, Mike?)
2 On a bike, do not think more about your plot line and less about the double line. If you do, at best, you will get home safely. At worst, your storyline development will be interrupted by a quick ride to the ER. (Now with your leg in the air, you have plenty of time to do the storyline, huh, Ernest?)
1 On a bike, do not think you can do tricks like you’ve seen at the trick bike championships. If you do, at best, you’ll remember that all those champions are under twenty years old and stop yourself. At worst, you’ll get halfway through a triple spin and realize that your arthritis is no longer your major bone problem. (Enjoy everyone visiting you in the hospital and asking, “What were you thinking, John?”)
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