Thursday – A Little Personal – Morning with Stella

~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

 

Stella

“Okay, John. I know you are getting your coffee but I wonder if we could chat.”

“Of course, Stella. What would you like to chat about?

“Well, it’s a little personal.”

“Go ahead. I can keep a secret.”

“It’s about those two canines.”

“What a shock Stella. What about them?”

Lucy and Bailey

“Haven’t you noticed how they lay around.”

“To be honest I think all three of you lay around.”

“But sometimes it can be disgusting.”

Bailey

“I can see what you mean. How about some nice half and half?”

“I would like that but you have to stand guard.”

“Stand guard. Why?”

Stella, Lucy. Bailey

“Why? Just look at these monsters.”

“Aw you poor thing. I’ll Call them. Lucy and Bailey.”

Stella, Lucy, Bailey

“Not now Boss. We are on the hunt for some half and half leavings.”

“You girls are making Stella nervous.”

“Give me a break, Boss. You ever check out those claws? That is one serious fighten’ machine. If anybody should be nervous it’s us.”

“Okay girls go get the leavings.”

 

 

 

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left as Seth Gibson huffed out the door after Jason McDonnell the lawyer, hired by Harriet Murphy, laid down the rules of engagement with his client Lucas. So, let’s get back to Antion Illinois and see what the lawyer and Lucas are discussing.

“Lucas now that we are alone I need to give you some advice that should be followed to the letter.”
“Y-yes sir.”
“You need not sir me, Lucas since in effect I work for you. Speaking of that I need you to declare that you want me as your lawyer.”
“But why do I need a lawyer?”
“Did you see that big hulk that just left. He is trying to build a murder case on you, and it isn’t even in his jurisdiction. I don’t know what you did to make him launch his vendetta, but he sure has one going.”
“I haven’t done anything to get the sheriff on my back.”
“All The more reason for having someone look after your interests. Now, do you want me to represent you or not?”
“I guess so.”
“Not good enough. You need to tell me I’m hired to be your attorney.”
“Okay, you are hired to be my attorney.”
“Good. Give me a dollar.”
“A dollar?”
“Yup. I need a retainer.”
“Uh. Look in the drawer there and see if my wallet is in there.”
“Okay, here it is.”
“Pull out what you need and then put it back please.”
“Alright. I have my retainer. Now going forward anything you and I discuss is privileged information and not to be shared with anyone. Also, no one has the right to ask you about our conversations, and certainly no one has the right to question you without me being present. Understand?”
“I-I think so. Does it mean whatever I say to you no one else will ever know.”
“Not unless you tell them.”
“Oh, thank God. I need to tell you something.”
“Is it about the sheriff?”
“No, it’s about my sister.”
“Your sister. What about your sister.?”
“I killed her.”
“What do you mean you killed her?”
“What does killed mean? I hit her, and she died.”

 

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #139 By Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #138

Not Funny by John W. Howell.

“How did my ten-year toy get in this ice water?”

“I threw it to you, and you were looking the other way.”

“So how was I to know you were going to throw it?”

“I yelled, “Here catch.”‘

“I thought you were talking about the hot dog.”

“This is my hot dog. Why would I give it to you.”

“Cause you love me?”

“I do but not enough to give up my hot dog.”

“Speaking of dog have you seen Elmer lately?”

“No. Come to think about it I haven’t.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“I guess it was yesterday.”

“Weren’t there six Corona’s in this bucket yesterday?”

“I don’t know I didn’t pay much attention.”

“I’m sure of it now. I counted them yesterday.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Well, Elmer has been known to imbibe now and then so I want to see how bad it was getting.”

“How bad what was getting?”

“His drinking.”

“Wait a minute. Are you saying Elmer took those beer bottles.”

“That is exactly what I’m saying.”

“I have one question super sleuth.”

“Go ahead.”

“If he took the beers.”

“Yes?”

“How did he open them. He has no opposable thumb.”

“Hmm. Let me think on that.”

“Meanwhile get your toy out of that ice bucket it looks like it is getting soggy.”

“His teeth. He used his teeth.”

“How did he hold the bottle.”

“Damn.”

“I think you need to make up another story.”

“Okay, Elmer shoots Heroin.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Tailgating at a Football Game.

~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Tailgating

The inspiration for this list is the return of the American football season. The college schedule is in full swing and here are a few things to avoid this year.

10 If you are tailgating, do not set out an overstuffed couch. If you do, at best folks will think you are so seventies. At worst, someone may get confused and believe that they are in Morgantown West Virginia and set fire to it. (You thought it was going to be a statement of elegance didn’t you, Baltizar?)

9 If you are tailgating, do not think a candelabra belongs in a stadium parking lot. If you do, at best your fellow tailgaters will take you for an effete intellectual snob. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ who has been mourning the passing of Liberace will believe you mean for him to join your party. (A sad, drunk Tiny is not a pretty picture is it, Barnaby?)

8 If you are tailgating, do not set up a beer pong table. If you do, at best you might attract the wrong crowd. At worst, that young person who has been playing so well is carded by the police. (Nice to know you are now charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor huh, Barrington?)

7 If you are tailgating, do not think yours is going to be the best grill in the lot. If you do, at best the one next door is better. At worst, your grill does not even rank in the top one hundred. (CNN wants to interview you for a feature named “The Biggest Grill Losers.” Time to pack up, Beauregard)

6 If you are tailgating, do not think your propane tank is full without checking. If you do, at best you give new meaning to medium rare. At worst, no one in the lot will be willing to loan you their propane tank. (Everyone you ask gives you that “Get away from me look right, Bennet?)

5 If you are tailgating, do not forget your portable satellite antenna. If you do, at best you’ll have to attend the game. At worst, you may get caught trying to tap into the antenna cable next door. (You thought it would be a quick splice and done. How’s that black eye feeling, Bixby?)

4 If you are tailgating, do not run out of your favorite beverage. If you do, at best you’ll have water. At worst, trying to borrow a cup of beer from your neighbors will be met with scorn. (Who knew everyone would turn their back on you, Bronson?)

3 If you are tailgating, do not forget to wear your team colors. If you do, at best everyone will assume you are a guest. At worst, those around you who are in favor of one team will think you are in favor of the other. (No use trying to explain that you love their team, Byron.)

2 If you are tailgating, do not serve petits-fours to your guests. At best they will claim to be full. At worst, you see them at another tailgate gorging themselves on chili and polish sausage. (You have to remember where you are, Baldwin.)

1 If you are tailgating, do not over serve yourself. If you do, at best you can über home. At worst, you’ll have to ask your partner to drive home. (How many lectures will it take so you never do that again, Barnabas?)

Views of the Neighborhood

~ John W. Howell ~ 74 Comments

We are so happy to finally be able to go back to our home in Port Aransas. The water, electricity, and sewer are all functional. None of the repairs have started, but the house is livable. We need to say goodbye to Austin

This first picture is of the State Capital building in Austin

The spirit of Texas is reflected in the inlay of the floor directly below the dome. You can see the inlay pays homage to the five countries who at one time ruled the Republic of Texas. Counter clockwise from the top left is Spain, Next is France, next to Mexico, which is next to the Confederate States of America, and finally The United States of America.

The dome is directly above

Here is a memorial to those who lost their lives in the Alamo.

A photo of the downtown from Mount Bonnell which is the highest point in the city.

We cannot leave Austin without paying homage to its weirdness. The photo below shows a group on a pub crawl which is a mechanical device that all the participants need to pedal.

Austin and Port Aransas

So now a photo of the dawn over the Gulf in Port Aransas taken on Saturday morning.

Another shot taken Saturday

I will be able to show you some before and after shots of the community. It is still too soon, and people do not need me taking up space shooting photos around town while they are trying to restore their lives.

We all need to remember those who are in the path of Irma. Thank you for joining me, and it feels good to be home.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Motive”

~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

 

Stream of Consciousness

It is Steam of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “motive.” Linda Hill says we can use the word any way we want. If you would like to join in the fun, please go to Linda’s site and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-917/

Motive by John W. Howell © 2017

“I wonder what gimmick the seminar leader is going to use to motivate us.”

“Oh, I believe it is the old trust your fellow workers with exercises designed to make us all not trust each other.”

“Ha ha ha. remember that time we were supposed to catch Jenkins as he fell.”

“My gosh, that was funny. He fell right on his head. Did he ever come back to work?”

“I heard they set him to a feelings doctor. He had PSSD.”

“PSSD? What’s that?”

“Post Seminar Stress Disorder.”

“No kidding. I think I have had that myself.”

“What do you suppose is management’s motive for this kind of foolishness.”

“They call it team building. I guess it’s meant to bring us together.”

“I never did forgive Simmons for that paint ball shot to the groin.”

“I’m not surprised. To see you on the ground crying like a baby is not a vision soon forgotten.”

“That was not my proudest moment. How about you? That time you were left out in the woods with no shoes.”

“My team was supposed to fetch me a pair.”

“Too bad the bar opened before they could get back.”

“I hate those people.”

“All we have is each other in this thing. I got your back.”

“Aw, thanks, man. I love you too. Oops here comes the leader.”

“Ladies and gentleman please give me your attention. This seminar is a little different from most. At the end of the week, the company will be promoting half of you based on how well you do with a pay increase of 10% above your current level. The other half will return to their old jobs at a wage level of 90 % of the previous amount.”

“Did you hear that?”

“You talking to me? Do I know you?

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 47 Comments

TGIF

 

Another Friday here in Austin Texas. We are still waiting for word on the return to Port Aransas. We can’t go back until the electricity is turned on and it is still off. There was some word that it would be back on by tomorrow but we have heard that word before. All we can do is sit and wait.

We are getting no call backs from suppliers. They are swamped.

We are very concerned for the folks in Florida and today’s JohnKu goes out to them.

Bravery by John W. Howell © 2017

When the time comes due,

Get out of the way of storms . . .

To stay is not brave.

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – A call for Volunteers

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Lucy

“Hey, Boss.”

“Yes, Lucy?”

“Aren’t you releasing a book on October 1st?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Don’t you think it is time to ask for some help?”

“So stand aside and I’ll make a call for volunteers.”

Circumstances of Childhood
Circumstances of Childhood

I will be launching Circumstances of Childhood,  a fictional family life story, with a traditional blog tour. The material will be ready for publication and just needs a copy and paste. The scheduled launch is October 1st. and the material will get to you a week before.  If you would like to participate please send an e-mail to me at:

johnhowell (dot) wave (at) gmail.com

Here is the blurb.

When a former pro football star and broadcaster, now a Wall Street maven is accused of insider trading, will he be able to prove his innocence and expose those who are guilty?

Greg and his boyhood pal dreamed of big success in professional football and then later in business. Greg was the only one to live the dream. Now the founder of an investment fund Greg is faced with a routine audit finding by the SEC. The audit points to irregularities and all the tracks lead to Greg. The justice department hits him with an indictment of 23 counts of fraud, money laundering, and insider trading. His firm goes bust, and Greg is on his own.

His best friend knows he is innocent but has been ordered under penalty of eternal damnation not to help.

If you enjoy stories of riches to rags, redemption, brotherly love, and a little of the paranormal, Circumstance of Childhood will keep you riveted.

Thank you.

Stella

“Perfect, John.”

Bailey

“Nice Job, Pop.”

 

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

Hump Day

 

Wednesday story day again. Last week we were there when Mrs. Murphy came off hook regarding Seth’s pressing an investigation on Lucas. Most of us believe Seth and Harriet have some kind of agenda in this whole matter. I see that Seth is entering Lucas’ room right now, so we better get over there.

“Hey, Lucas. How you doing?”
“F-fine sheriff.”
“You can call me Seth if you want.”
“W-what can I do for you, sir?”
“Okay, Lucas I understand. I just stopped in to see how you were doing.”
“Well, I’m getting better. Some how I think there is another reason.”
“Well, I placed a call to the lawyer your friend Harriet employed, and he said I’m not supposed to ask you any questions until he has a chance to visit with you. So I’m not here to ask anything, just to see how you’re doing.”
“If that’s the case then you should know that I’m doing fine and expect to get out of here soon.”
“That is good news. Where do you plan to go when released?”
“Isn’t that a question?”
“My goodness boy. I can attest to the fact that your brain is working well.”
“Okay, gentlemen. Let’s not have any conversation until I give this man a briefing. Has the sheriff asked you anything Lucas?”
“Just where I’ll be staying after I get out of the hospital. Are you Miss Harriet’s lawyer?”
“That’s correct. Jason McDonnell at your service. Now sheriff would you please excuse us.”
“Sure will uh, Jason. Bear in mind I would like to get a statement from your client here.”
“For what purpose Sheriff Gibson?”
“An ongoing investigation on the murder of his parents and disappearance of his sister.”
“Have you filed any charges?”
“Well, no. I’m just in the investigation phase.”
“We will help in any way we can, Sheriff, but until charges are filed, I see no reason for you to meet with my client. If you want to talk, please call my office, and I will set up a time that is convenient.”
“How about we talk now?”
“Not a chance. I need to discuss this with my client. Please excuse us.”
“You lawyers sure make things complex.”
“And keep innocent people from being railroaded by the likes of you. Good day sheriff.”