Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 138 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo:

Kreative Kue #138

Stalkers by John W. Howell © 2017

“Keep it down. He’s coming.”

“I’m afraid to look.”

“Don’t worry he can’t see you.”

“I’m still afraid. Tell me what he looks like.”

“He is wearing denim pants, a black t-shirt, and get this, he has a buzz cut.”

“A buzz cut?”

“Can you believe it?”

“Aw, this makes it too easy.”

“I know right. Wait he is carrying something in his hand.”

“What is it?”

“Some kind of bag. At least we only have to worry about the one hand. It is the right one by the way.”

“I am always concerned about getting hit by the right hand.”

“There are two of us. Don’t you think we can have our way with him?”

“There is still a chance he could smack one of us with that hand.”

“Well, this is the chance we will have to take. He’s getting closer.”

“Be still my beating heart.”

“Oh, C’mon. Be brave buckaroo. On my count, we will jump him.”

“This is the worst part. I wish I were born as someone else.”

“Why? You have a great life.”

“What’s so great about having to drop down on a mammal and hope not to be slapped flat.”

“But after you get your fill you just sleep. That buzz cut means you can hit the sweet spot on the head and he’ll never know. Now get ready and try not to make that whining noise with your wings.”

“You gotta be kidding me. All mosquitos make that noise.”

“Yeah, I was kidding. Pre-mission humor. Let’s go.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do After a Hurricane Hits Your House

~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

10 If a hurricane hits your house, do not start a Go Fund Me campaign. If you do, at best you’ll look like a privateer. At worst, you may not collect anything but some old Chucky Cheese tokens. ( Made you feel better for a day huh, Boewolf?)

9 If a hurricane hits your house, do not rush into the community to see how things are. If you do, at best you won’t be allowed in. At worst, you will get in and then need to be rescued. ( You thought the rain was over didn’t you, Berton?)

8 If a hurricane hits your house and you are allowed to visit, do not plan to stay the night. If you do, at best the police will ask you to leave. At worst, you’ll try to sleep in temperatures above ninety degrees. (You now know what a pig on a spit feels like don’t you, Blaze.)

7 If a hurricane hits your house, do not listen to fast talking con artists. If you do, at best you just say no. At worst, you authorize some repairs and hand over a down payment. (That was the last time you saw your best friend, right, Boswell?)

6 If a hurricane hits your house, do not try to turn on the water and electricity yourself. If you do, at best there will be no leaks. At worst, the broken main flooded the electrical box, and your house burned to the ground. (Gee, Branan. Maybe that plumber and electrician might have been cheaper than DYI.)

5 If a hurricane hits your house, do not open your refrigerator while alone. If you do, at best stand up wind. At worst, you could be overcome by the smell and need to be evacuated. (Shoulda thought about removing that food when you left, Brick.)

4 If a hurricane hits your house, do not drink the water until advised. If you do, at best you’ll survive. At worst, you will get amoebic dysentery. (You will survive, Bren it’s just you’ll pray you won’t.)

3 If a hurricane hits your house, do not violate the curfew. If you do, at best you’ll need to be quiet and not turn on a flashlight. At worst, the police will think you are a looter. (not very comfortable dodging bullets in your own home is it, Bryson?)

2 If a hurricane hits your house, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ to help you remove debris. If you do, at best you’ll have to feed him. At worst, he won’t know the difference between debris and the good stuff. (You were almost positive that west wall was okay before Tiny started working right, Byron?)

1 If a hurricane hits your house, do not delay filing all the forms. If you do, at best you will be at the bottom of the list.  At worst, all the funding will be gone, and you will be left without help. (Seems like your distaste for forms has finally caught up with you, Brogan.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Austin

~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

Since we are still in Austin and looks like we will be for another week at least, this edition of Viewscomes from where we are since the views of Port Aransas are not very pretty.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here is a shot of the capital building taken from 5th Avenue and Lamar which is close to where we are staying.

Lucy and Bailey are used to a morning walk on the beach so if you don’t mind here is a pictorial of our morning walk in Austin. This is a shot of the city looking East back over our shoulders.

The first thing Lucy and Bailey had to get used to was the crosswalk.

Here is the crushed granite trail looking West. Not sand but close.

This is a view of the trail looking back toward the East

A watering station. Bailey says, “Pass.”

A lovely little creek running under the path

A shot of a golden lab hitting the water.

This is Town Lake which runs on the South side of the trail. The Golden Retriever is on the right and boaters way off to the left.

I was surprised to see Poison Ivy warnings.

Views of the Neighborhood

This is the East end of Town Lake

Fluffy white dog in the water.

All I need is the air that I breathe.

This is a platform for viewing Town Lake. The graffiti says SLEEPY and on a hot day this looked like a good nap place.

Historical information about Town Lake (Shoal Creek) and the founding of Austin as the capital

The most Eastern bank of Town Lake

Some turtles in a muddy flooded creek.

Another shot of the Eastern edge of Town Lake.

Hope you enjoyed the walk.

It’s Here! My New Book: Time To Lie!

~ John W. Howell ~ 6 Comments

Phil Taylor has a new book out and it looks like it is going to be terrific. Check it out.

Phil Taylor's avatarThe Phil Factor

This is the most excited I’ve been about anything in quite a while! Now available for Kindle, I’m proud to present…

Time to Lie

The truth is just the lie we’ve chosen to believe, and yours may be different than mine.

Remember that time you dated that complete nutcase and said to yourself, I wish Future Me would have come back and warned me about this. Remember when you and your drunk friends said, If it’s such a bad idea, someone would come back from the future and stop us, right before it blew up in your face and got you in trouble? It would be great to have someone from the future to guide your life, wouldn’t it?

Landon Bridges’ life hasn’t always been perfect, but now he’s in college and determined to make a fresh start and transform himself from high school geek to college chic…well less geeky…

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Birth/Berth

~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is Birth/Berth. Linda Hill says we can use one or the other or both. If you would like to have fun with us, please visit Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-217/

Birth/Berth by John W. Howell © 2017

“Tell me again. What is your emergency.”

“I’m stuck in the upper berth on a boat, and a deer is giving birth in the lower berth.”

“Okay maybe it has been a long day, but there are a lot of birth words in your statement. Let’s break it down. You are stuck in the upper berth of a boat?”

“Yes. I can’t move.”

“Thank you. Where is the boat?”

“It is berthed in the marina.”

“Of course it is. What is the name of the boat?”

“Birth of the Blues.”

“Why am I not surprised. Tell me what happened?”

“I was trying to get away from the deer and jumped into the upper Berth.”

“Okay, and how did you get stuck?”

“I got wedged. I guess I should have left my tool belt back in the truck.”

“The deer was chasing you?”

“Yes, and I ran for this boat with her in hot pursuit.”

“Tell me about the deer.”

“She is brown with big eyes.”

“Not her appearance. Tell me what she is doing.”

“She is laying in the lower Berth giving birth.”

“So she won’t be chasing you anymore.”

“No, she is pretty busy right now.”

“The real emergency is getting you unstuck right?”

“That and getting the deer some help.”

“Okay, sir. I want you to remain on the line. We have dispatched an EMS crew to your location. Please stay calm.”

“I’m calm. I can’t speak for the deer though.”

“I understand. Any change?”

“No, my breathing has returned to normal.”

“Not you. The deer.”

“Nope still brown.”

“You are putting me on right?”

“No, I’m stuck.”

“I’m trying to find out how the deer is doing.”

“Oh, she gave birth and left.”

“So that just leaves you stuck in the berth.”

“Yes. And the bear.”

 

 

 

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

TGIF

 

It is Friday again and time to look forward to the weekend. It is also time to say thank you for all the warm wishes my family and I have received as a result of hurricane Harvey making a mess out of our island.  Thank you all.

I am happy to report that the damage is all repairable although it looks like the roof and floors will need to be replaced. There still is no electricity but that will improve. Once the electricity is on we will be able to go back. None of the repairs needed make the house uninhabitable so we are very fortunate. Others are not as fortunate. Todays John Ku talks about the importance of good wishes.

Support by John W. Howell © 2017

When the times are tough,

A kind word or wish expressed . . .

Makes the difference.

 

***

Thank you all.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Fur Kids in Exile

~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

Stella

“Okay, John. Let’s chat.”

“Alright, Stella. What do you want to talk about?”

“Being a refugee.”

“We are not refugees. We are evacuees.”

Stella

“A rose by any other name is still a rose.”

“Okay, I’ll admit this is not ideal. We are better off than a lot of the Harvey Hurricane victims”

Stella

“Just look at you earlier. Sound asleep on your IPad.”

“Yeah and look at the covered couch.”

Lucy

“Lucy looks content.”

“Feed her and she’d be content on an iceberg.”

Bailey

“And look at Bailey. She is on the couch too.”

“The same covered couch.”

Lucy

“You know Boss this isn’t home.”

“I know, Lucy but home has no electricity, water, or sewer.”

“Well if we are all there that wouldn’t matter.”

“Yes, but isn’t it better to be comfortable? We are all here.”

Bailey

“I guess pop.”

“Thank you, Bailey. I knew I could count on you to be logical.”

“When we heading home?”

“Might be a while yet kids.”

“I think we ought to remember the victims who lost everything and the first responders who saved countless lives at the risk of their own.”

“We agree, Boss. Thanks.”

 

Lucy and Bailey

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we stood by as Harriet offered to get Lucas, a lawyer. We all thought that was a little odd and asked ourselves the question, “What is on her agenda.” Well, it is hoped that we find out over time. Let’s get back to the hospital since I see Harriet has left Lucas’ room and is heading toward the cafeteria.

“Well, well, well. look who’s here.”
“Hi, Harriet.”
“Hi, Alice. Hello, Seth or should I call you the High Sheriff.”
“Now what’s that supposed to mean.”
“Your ex-husband is harassing my employee.”
“Now Miss Harriet.”
“Don’t Miss Harriet me, Seth Gibson. You know you are way outside your jurisdiction when you are messing around in affairs that are supposed to be handled in Kenosha.”
“I’m a peace officer. As such I can investigate any situation where I believe the law has been broken. Also, as a private citizen, I have a responsibility to uncover any situation where I think the law has been broken.”
“Hog wash, Seth. For some reason, you are putting your big nose into things that don’t concern you. I’m beginning to think you have something against Lucas and you are trying to railroad him into jail.”
“Not true, Harriet.”
“Oh, my. A little close to the bone Sheriff Gibson? You dropped your Miss Harriet mannerism.”
“You know what? I don’t have to sit here and take crap from you. I’m going in there and have a little discussion with Lucas right now.”
“Good luck with that. You are going to have to go through Lucas’ attorney. You want to speak to Lucas you call this number on his card.”
“What’s this now? Jason McDonnell, Attorney at Law.”
“Yup. He’s the one. Give him a call.”
“Why are you doing this, Miss Harriet?”
“Yes, Harriet. Why?”
“Let me tell you two. One. I think ole Seth there has a crush on you Alice and wants Lucas out-of-the-way. Two. I’m not about to see an innocent boy get swept up in the justice system on the whim of a fat, out of his element, overblown, and judgmental sheriff. So, Seth you better make that call or I will be calling the county prosecutor regarding your disregard for legal rights.”
“Boy, Miss Harriet. That sure came from a dark place. Fine, I’ll call then speak to the boy. Good bye ladies.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #137

~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

Keith’s words. “Using this photo ( Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #137

The Project by John W. Howell © 2017

“So how long have you been working this project?”

“Hmm. Let me think. I think I joined the group when I was about twenty.”

“Okay. You look about sixty. That is a long time.”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

“Oh, my goodness. I apologize. It must have been the gray hair that threw me.”

“Yeah, I can see that. I guess it fools a lot of people.”

“Any idea why your hair turned?”

“I do have an idea. It is this project.”

“OMG. I just joined this project.  Can you give me some pointers?”

“I guess I could. For one thing, if you decide on a flying buttress, do not change your mind.”

“Why would I change my mind?”

“Believe me there could be a few reasons.”

“Name one.”

“The chief.”

“The Chief? Who’s that?”

“Not who. The question should have been ‘What’s that?’”

“Okay. What is the Chief?”

“The One and Only. The Big Kahuna. The Whole Enchilada.”

“I’m still confused.”

“The being that decided it needed this Edifice Rex.”

“You talking about the Creator?”

“Among a few who would want a house like this.”

“Naw. C’mon. If the Creator wanted a house like this, it would be a snap of the fingers.”

“I didn’t say it was the Creator.”

“Who then?”

“Think opposite.”

“You mean?”

“Welcome to hell, kid.”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When a Hurricane is Headed Your Way

~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

Hurricane Harvey

 

10 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think it would be a good time to surf the storm surge. If you do, at best the authorities will arrest you. At worst, you’ll ride that last big one into the next county. (Now you have to figure a way back huh, Banjo?)

9 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not decide to ride it out at home. If you do, at best you’ll have a flotation device. At worst, you will need to tread water until you find dry land again. (maybe that couch floating by will be of some use, Beauregard.)

8 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you can take everything you own with you. If you do, at best you will come to your senses. At worst, once the car is packed you’ll find you have no room for the family. (Now logic says the family is more important than your beer cap collection right, Bently?)

7 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you won’t need a plan. If you do, at best the hurricane will go somewhere else. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ who has the lowest seniority on the first responder team will be picking you off your roof. (You are right to wonder if he might drop you before getting into the helicopter, Bertrand.)

6 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think the Dominos Pizza delivery man will be your back up food plan. If you do, at best your supply of Fritos and dip will last. At worst, you’ll be down to the crumbs in the bread bag and the worm in the bottle. (Guess you should have stocked up on more than party supplies, Bowie.)

5 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not underestimate its strength. If you do, at best that patio furniture will blow out to sea instead of into your living room. At worst, that refrigerator on your porch that you insisted would stay put has been responsible for repeated entrances and exits from your house. (Never thought that thing could make so many holes did you, Bruno?)

4 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not wait until the last-minute to leave. If you do, at best you will have to wait in traffic. At worst, you will be riding out the hurricane on the side of the road. (Yes your car will float for a while, Barnard, but then sinking is inevitable.)

3 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you will be allowed back to your house quickly after it is over. If you do, at best you will be very frustrated. At worst, those temporary arrangements you made look to be more permanent than the patience of your host. (Maybe time to find some temporary housing, Benny. Your host has a funny look while sharpening those knives.)

2 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think your WiFi and cell service will continue throughout the storm. If you do, at best you will recapture what life was like before these services were invented. At worst, your advanced case of Fear of Missing Out will cause you to require medical attention. ( At least that injection the nurse just gave you has a calming effect, Benson)

1 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not worry about things that can be replaced. If you do, at best your priorities will probably need to change. At worst, you will spend worry time on things that in reality don’t mean a thing. (I guess you’ve been told huh, Buford.)