I was able to go back into the archives and found the third installment of Top Ten Things Not to Do authored by Marie Ann Bailey and me. This one was from July 2013. Since we are coming into the wedding season, I hope you enjoy these. You will note, in the beginning, the lists were straightforward.
Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Wedding
10 If you are in the wedding party, do not take off your clothes, no matter what the circumstances may dictate or what you think the circumstances are dictating.
9 If you are not in the wedding party, see number 10.
8 If you are the best man or maid of honor, do not cry when you describe your love for the bride or groom in your toast, and eliminate the word “amazing” from your speech.
7 Do not try to set an all-time personal record in the number and kinds of drinks you intake simply because they are free.
6 If you do set an all-time personal record of kind and number of drinks, do not ask the bride or groom for a kiss or worse, for a date. (Same goes for the best man and maid of honor.)
5 If you are not in the wedding party, do not offer a toast even if several of your friends are clapping and saying your name, followed by the chant “toast, toast, toast.”
4 If you brought a wedding gift to the reception, do not take it home, no matter what.
3 Do not pretend to be someone else or use a made-up name when you are introduced to others, even if you may never see these people again, and you think it is so funny.
2 If you came with a date to the wedding, do not go home with someone else.
1. When you leave the reception, do not thank the bride and groom’s parents with a big juicy kiss
The City of Lakeway observed the May 8th Victory in Europe Day, commemorating the end of World War II in Europe eighty years ago. The ceremony was held in Heritage Park, and it has been captured in our time machine. We are catered by Space Cowboy of Austin. Our music is by Irving Berlin.
My favorite place is the kitchen. I do a lot of work there, and it is the home of my beloved coffee machine. It sits in its mysterious blackness on its haunches, just waiting for the order to strike. One touch of the power button is like waking up a sleeping dragon. The stretches, groans, and low growl let you know that the next move must be slow and easy. A move to the two-coffee button is scrutinized and anticipated. She knows me too well. The button is touched, and the resulting eruption of activity could startle the unaware. The frothy cup is complete within seconds, and the machine shares my sigh.
One sip of the delightful brew and the quiet air is ravaged by the Westminster chimes of the doorbell, followed by the eardrum challenge of the baying hounds. A quick toss of a line caught tuna packet into the nuclear-proof room with a door slam allows the brain to stop screaming for quiet. Just who would ring that bell when the sign says “Death to those who ring this bell” is anyone’s guess. Looking at the security screen, all that is visible are the ears of some kind of creature. With a sigh, the security system shutdown began.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The control panel makes the shutdown of the security system process simpler. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gattling guns disengaged, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The locks on the door are thrown.
What stands before me looks very much like the Tasmanian Devil. He makes some noises that are not understandable and throws an envelope my way. He starts to whirl and disappears across the lawn and through the neighbor’s boxwoods. The envelope is from Linda Hill. The message inside reads:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “favorite place.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
If the man on the street had to guess the best metric for healthy aging, they might say blood pressure, cholesterol levels, lean muscle mass, blood triglycerides, or even telomere length if they follow aging science closely.
But it turns out that one of the best is grip strength. According to Joshua Davis at the University of Derby, UK, this relatively underdeveloped conditioning area is increasingly recognized as one of the most reliable markers of human health.
Grip strength is associated with positive health outcomes, whether measuring for diabetes risk or depression, and you don’t need any expensive equipment to measure it. Davis recommends you simply pop the top off a can of tennis balls.
“Being able to maintain a maximal squeeze on something like a tennis ball for 15-30 seconds would be a good standard to strive for,” Davis told the BBC.
It’s not necessarily the case that being the one in the house whose hands are the most capable of opening a stubborn pickle jar means you’ll live the longest. Instead, it’s the case that grip strength is an efficient proxy for total muscle conditioning, which is itself an excellent proxy for overall nutrition, physical activity, and disease profiles. In other words, it’s a proxy for a proxy.
For example, the BBC report cites one study that found grip strength to be an effective predictor of sarcopenia, the decline in muscle conditioning associated with aging, strongly correlated with mortality. Another study found that of those in middle age who had their grip strength measured in 1965, the ones who lived to be 100 were 2.5 times more likely to have had grip strength results in the highest third.
Yet another paper found that grip strength has a prognostic value for human longevity that exceeds blood pressure, one of the vital signs controlled for in every hospital patient.
It’s almost certainly not the case that developing grip strength alone will protect against disease and early mortality; as mentioned above, it’s a proxy for overall muscle conditioning.
There’s an old saying in medicine: “Break your hip, die of pneumonia.”
Muscle mass is one of the best defenses against the ravages of age. It cushions the joints and bones and provides protection from falls and the subsequent fractures that gave rise to this ghastly adage. It also soaks up excess glucose in the blood to reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes or insulin resistance.
The BBC also spoke with Mark Peterson, a physical medicine and rehabilitation professor at the University of Michigan. Peterson conducted a 2022 study that found that deep down in our DNA, patterns of methylated molecules in those with weak grip strength indicated they were aging at an accelerated rate.
If you don’t have a grip dynamometer to measure precisely how much force your handshake can exert, you can always perform the tennis ball test.
The good news in this article is not the grip as an indicator of overall health, but the idea of the benefits of continuing exercises to maintain muscle mass. Is it worth it? Yes. Today’s JohnKu talks about health. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
I realized that an e-mail wasn’t sent on a revision I had made to this post. I am republishing the post so that the e-mail subscribers will get a notification. Sorry for any confusion with this situation.
“So Twiggy. It looks pretty wet out here.”
“What’s a little rain?”
“Looks like a lot more than a little.”
“Yeah this is pooling up nicely. We have the tent though.”
“Yes but the wind is blowing pretty good.”
“You are so right. Let’s call it on account of rain.”
“Maybe it will let up?”
“Not a chance. The forecast says all day for this one.”
“I guess well have to play with the toys then.”
“Not that one. It’s too small.”
“How about this one?”
“The snowmen are all out. There is nothing but a crackle sound left.”
“Why don’t you choose one then?”
“The puma has decided to let the toys live.”
“The Panther decides not to let the Puma live.”
“Oh, good. It has been a while.”
“What kind of hold do you call that?”
“It’s my famous step over toe hold.”
“The Panther breaks the hold and pins the Puma.”
“The Puma decides to take a breath before the next move.”
“The Panther doubles down on the hold.”
“The Puma can’t stop laughing cause the Panther is tickling me.”
This header should look familiar. It belongs to Sally G Cronin, who has a very successful blog built on helping other Indie authors be more successful. Sally is an Indie author herself, and she has 18 books published.
Sally is currently featuring the Author’s first or latest book. MY GRL is included in Sally’s program.
A little about Sally
Sally Cronin is the author of eighteen books, including her memoir Size Matters: Especially when you weigh 330lb, first published in 2001, which followed her weight loss of 150 lbs and the program she designed to achieve a healthy weight and regain her health. A program she shared with her clients over her 26-year career as a nutritional therapist and on her blog. This has been followed by another seventeen fiction and non-fiction books, including multi-genre collections of short stories and poetry.
Her latest book, Size Always Matters, is an extended and updated version of her original book. It now includes the nutritional element of losing weight and some recipes with ingredients that provide the nutrients necessary for healthy weight loss and continued good health.
As an author, Sally understands how important it is to have support in marketing books. She offers several FREE promotional opportunities in the Café and Bookstore on her blog and across her social media. Sally does more for Indie Authors, and visiting her blog will show you the extent of her support.
After leading a nomadic existence and exploring the world, she now lives with her husband on the coast of Southern Ireland, enjoying the seasonal fluctuations in the temperature and the rain.
Visit Sally’s Amazon page for more information on her books.
I have turned off comments and would appreciate them on Sally’s post.
Today, I randomly opened Eternal Road—The final stop to page 167. With my eyes closed, I pointed to the page. The word closest to my finger was “unfortunate,” which is the prompt.
This post was run in November of 2013 and is co-authored by Marie Ann Bailey. Since summer travel is right around the corner, I think it has some merit.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling
10 If you decide to drive your car when traveling, do not pack the trunk and backseat so that all the passengers need supplemental oxygen to stay alive.
9 While traveling in the car, do not think your favorite onion and Limburger cheese sandwiches will go unnoticed when you go for a snack. If you do, you may find yourself on the roof with grandmother.
8 If you are the designated driver for a portion of the trip, do not think you can rest your eyes for even a moment. If you do, you may find permanent rest as well as a handsome marker on the side of the highway with your name on it.
7 If you should experience a flat tire while driving on a trip, do not attempt to instruct your spouse or traveling companion on the intricacies of changing a tire while you stand-off to the side observing. If you do, you may be wearing the spare for the rest of the journey.
6 If you decide to take an airplane when traveling, do not try to tell security why your religion forbids taking off your shoes. If you do, you may find a full body search applied as the viable alternative.
5 When on an airplane while traveling, do not call a flight attendant by repeatedly pressing the flight attendant call button. If you do, your reward may just be a visit from Mr. Coffee in your lap.
4 When on an airplane while traveling, do not complain loudly and frequently about the lack of food or water. If you do, the flight crew might insure that you may get the same experience as you would on the ground at Guantanamo.
3 When on an airplane while traveling, do not attempt to recline your seat without asking the person behind you if it is OK. If you don’t ask, the passenger behind you may choose to see you later in the terminal where no air marshals are present.
2 When getting off the airplane and you are seated in the back row, do not try to push your way forward while other people are trying to retrieve their carry-on bags. If you do, you chance being kidnapped by Somali pirates and held for ransom. (Oh, if it only worked that way.)
1 When walking as a group through the air terminal while traveling, do not walk five abreast while counting the steps to baggage claim to see who wins the bet. If you do, here’s hoping a baggage cart slides sideways trying to stop, but connects with your group like you are ten-pins in a bowling alley.
Today, we are visiting the Lakeway Municipal Utility District (LMUD) for an open house and to check out the seed library. LMUD had an open house on Earth Day, and through the miracle of the time clock, we can go back and take a look. We are catered by Stella San Jac of Austin. Our entertainment is Simon and Garfunkel
Menu
All American – Scrambled Eggs, Bacon, Crispy Hash Brown, Sourdough Toast
1. When you leave the reception, do not thank the bride and groom’s parents with a big juicy kiss
