Meet Guest Author John W. Howell

I am pleased to guest post on Chris Graham’s’ supportive, indie author and publisher friendly blog. Thank you Chris for the opportunity to be present in the company of so many wonderful authors and of course, yourself.

Chris The Story Reading Ape's avatarChris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

Tim BurdickFirst of all thank you Chris for allowing me the opportunity to talk about a subject which I have some familiarity, but not full understanding. I am, of course, referring to me. A basic introduction of who John W. Howell really is needs to start in Detroit Michigan. This is where I was born and yes continued to live there until my first job took me to another part of the state. Being as old as I am now has caused the childhood memories to be a bit fuzzy and I guess the first defining moment of my young life came when I was told my father had gone to heaven. I was ten years old and didn’t have a good idea of where heaven was or how I could visit him there. I soon became aware that what the family was trying to say is I would never see…

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday Prompt- Funny

 

The Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt as put up on Linda Hill’s blog is funny. Could be funny strange or funny funny. Read about here: http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/09/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-1314/ Here is my attempt  to cover the prompt.(Pardon me I didn’t mean to create that alliteration. I can’t go back since this is Stream of Consciousness but I think it in itself  is funny) Anyway the name of this piece is Funny Man. I hope you like it.

Funny Man by John W. Howell © 2014

“You have to see this guy. He is the funniest stand up comic.”

“The funniest? That says something. Where is he appearing.’

“Right here. Right now.”

“What are you talking about Frank? You mean you?”

“Yes I mean me. I have a great routine. I’m telling you it is funny.”

“Bear with me if I’m not laughing, but you have never impressed me as someone who is particularly funny.”

“Okay, give me five bucks and I’ll show you.”

“Five bucks? You crazy?”

“Aw come on. I guarantee it will be worth it.”

“I know I will regret this, but okay here you go.”

“Thanks, Bill. Okay, here we go. This horse walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender, The bartender says, ‘Hey buddy why the long face?’”

“That’s it?”

“You get it, right? The horse has a long face and the bartender asks ‘why the long face?’”

“I get it Frank it’s just not funny.”

“How about the termite walks into the bar and says, ‘where’s the bartender?’”

“I hear crickets Frank. Give me my five back.”

“I thought they were funny.’

“You would Frank. You would.”

Friday JohnKu. TGIF

 

Friday is here. Happy days are here again, the sky above is clear again. Happy days are here again. Looks like we may all make the week. At least we have a good shot from this point. Eight hours and a margarita is mine. I have noticed a number of posts this week talking about the fall colors. Sitting here on the Gulf I really don’t get much change except for the lawn starts to turn pale with the shortening days. I do notice our Boxer Lucy is sleeping a little later since the sunrise is getting later each day. I think if we lived further North (like Scandinavia) she would never go to sleep in the summer. Today’s JohnKu (a term coined by Words4jp)  is about season change. The title is Stay. I hope you like it

 

Stay by John W. Howell © 2104

The summer goes fast,

Makes room for the new colors. . .

Just wish it would stay.

Work Place Blog Hop

The workplace Blog Hop post by Charles Yallowitz is intended to get some perspective of what our workplace looks like.  You can read his post HERE

I have just recently moved my workplace from the dining room to an actual space which I can call my own. So I am very glad to show you all around.

 

 

Here is a picture of our cat Frankie waiting on my desk. One would think he is waiting to greet me and to wish me a joyous day of writing. No, what he really wants is to get fresh water from my glass and walk on my keyboard. The windows open to a view of a pond in the rear of the house. This is a third-floor location so the view also includes the Corpus Christi bay which is barely visible through the houses. Here is a photo of the view. The owl is not a pet, but is standing guard over the mourning doves.

 

This last photo is another view of the desk. The two doors off to the right lead out to the porch where some serious suntan and snooze time can be had. Needless to say, I don’t often go out there.

 

The item I can’t do without is music. I write while listening and it seems to keep me focused on my work. I especially enjoy Queen and have every one of their songs on a rotation. I also have a number of other favorites and basically hit shuffle. My iTune library is quite large and covers the sixties to present. Now for my nominees:

Now for my Tagees:

Audrey Dawn

Words4jp

Linda Hill

Jack Flacco

Rosie Amber

Phillip McCollum

Chris Graham

Katie Cross

Wednesday Story – Hump Day

 

Wednesday again and time for a story. This week’s story involves our boy Frank actually trying to do a good deed for someone and getting a little bit overwhelmed. The title is Help and I hope you like it.

Help by John W. Howell  Copyright 2014

“So sir can I help you.”

“What makes you think I need help.”

“Well, you are sitting on the curb and you haven’t moved for the last ten minutes.”

“How do you know. Are you watching me?”

“Well no. I was just sitting on that bench over there having my lunch and noticed you sitting here with your feet in that mud puddle.”

“What’s your name anyway?”

“Frank. How about yours?”

“I don’t have a name you would understand. I was left here from another planet. Now get outta here and leave me alone.”

“Another planet? Which one.”

“Yeah right. You get me to tell where and you go there and turn me in.”

“Turn you in? Turn you in to who?”

“To whom. To whom. Turn in to whom. Damn, I have to listen to the language being slaughtered after ten years of lessons. Just makes you want to spit.”

“Okay sir. I get it. You are a crank and you want to be left alone. Here take this.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s five bucks. Maybe you can get enough wine to kill yourself you old goat.”

“Wine? I don’t drink wine. I’m an officer in the imperial force. We don’t have time for wine.”

“Whatever. Do you want the fiver or not?’

“Not Frank”

“Okay then I tried. See you around old man.”

“Agent Zorra. You okay?”

“Yeah, I never thought that guy would leave.I’m glad I kept my helmet on being under water all this time and holding onto your feet. Pull me out of this water will Ya.”

“The next time we do a transport, I hope you pick a dry spot.’

“Who would have thought a pothole in New York would swallow our ship? I think we better tell Zamboo we have a problem.”

Rave Reviews Spotlight Author Tour – Tamie Dearen

 

 

I want to Welcome Tamie Dearen to Fiction Favorites. She is being honored by Rave Reviews Book Club as a spotlight author. She is now on tour and I am so happy one of her chosen stops is here. She is the author of the critically acclaimed Best Girls Series. Her latest release is Best Foot Forward.  The first of the series is  Best is Yet to Come. Best is Yet to Come. All can be seen and bought  here on Amazon.  So Tamie the blog is yours.

 

Hi! I’m Tamie Dearen—wife, mother, grandmother, dentist, Jesus-lover, musician, composer, and author (as of 2013). I’ve published four books and a novella in The Best Girls Series, and one Young Adult Fantasy, Alora: The Wander-Jewel. As a relatively new author, I’ve found Rave Reviews Book Club to be a great resource for information and a wonderful place for mutual support. I thought I’d share this fun poem.

The City of Flout

I must say, I dare say, it was quite a shock

When I heard that Count Koffner had stolen the lock,

The lock that protected the City of Flout

Kept the good people in and the bad people out

I knew it the minute I opened the door

And saw laughing and dancing and people galore.

So I asked them, “Who did this? Who opened the gate?

Why didn’t you stop him before ‘twas too late?”

The answered, “’Twas taken by some tall dark feller.”

So I set out to find him, in attic or cellar.

I searched for to find him and put him in jail.

I searched for three days, but ‘twas to no avail.

And meanwhile the people so much I did pity

For the terrible things that went on in that city.

The bad people flocked in by hundreds each day

And I, though the mayor, had nothing to say.

They brought toys for the young and books for the old

And jewels in lockets of silver and gold.

There was feasting—what feasting—they ate and they ate.

But what could I do with no lock on the gate?

Then one day I saw in the midst of a crowd

Count Koffner proposing a toast right out loud.

“A toast,” he said, “to the City of Flout,

The most wonderful place in the world without doubt!”

I rushed to Count Koffner and cut off his head.

Then I shot him three times to make sure he was dead.

And then I chased all of the bad people out

And locked up the gates to the City of Flout.

Now the laughing and dancing and feasting are o’er.

The children don’t play with their toys anymore.

I burned all the books and the jewels in lockets.

I searched every home and I emptied all pockets.

But even though everything’s normal again,

With the bad people out and the good people in.

For some silly reason, I really can’t wait

Until somebody else steals the lock from the gate.

By Tamie Dearen

Follow

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/TamieDearen

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tamie-Dearen/1384772145109650

Website:  http://tamiedearen.weebly.com/

Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/Tamie-Dearen/e/B00FS21B4Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=undefined&sr=1-2-ent

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Drinking

 

 

 

This is the 62nd installment of Ten Things Not to Do. This was inspired by seeing some very strange things happen on the beach over Labor Day. I hope you enjoy.

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When You Have Been Drinking.

10. If you have been drinking, do not think the soft sand on the beach will prevent you from serious injury as you fall out of the back of your ten foot high monster truck. If you do, at best you’ll get a nasty bump. At worst, you may end up buried up to your neck upside down.

9, If you have been drinking, do not think your four-wheel drive Hemi V8 will pull you out of the surf. If you do, At best you might need to figure out how to get towed back to reality. At worst, you may be the new captain of the good ship Dodge Tough that is slowly going down for the last time.

8. If you have been drinking, do not stand up in the back of your pickup truck yelling an offer to trade beads for bras. If you do, at best you may be spotted by the beach patrol and given a PI ticket. At worst, you may be asked to pay an additional amount in the form of tooth contribution for the poor judgment you have demonstrated by a band of unappreciative Hells Angles.

7. If you have been drinking, do not think doing donuts in the sand with your diesel powerhouse is entertainment for all who watch. If you do, at best you might eventually get stuck to the relief of everyone on the beach. At worst, trying to get unstuck will only see your high-powered monster bury itself well below the place where it will cost more than $500.00 to tow you out.

6. If you have been drinking, do not think the world wants to join you in a skinny dip. If you do at best, the cooler water will bring you to a point where you now realize your mistake and a friendly person will bring your swimsuit to you.. At worst, you will be spending the rest of the day in the water waiting for nightfall so you can finally sneak back to your swimsuit.

5. If you have been drinking, do not think the fire which you intend to build is not big enough. If you do, at best you won’t be able to find any more wood. At worst, you will look high and low for objects that will burn including; beach chairs, tents and tons of beer cans only to discover they don’t.

4, If you have been drinking, do not think you can play beach volleyball as good as the people who are younger than you. If you do, at best the next morning will point out your limitations for the next time. At worst, you may pull several unused muscles and windup at the ER to get straightened out.

3. If you have been drinking, do not think you can fish from the back of your truck way after the tide has come in. If you do, at best you may be there until the tide goes out again. At worst, you may not be there since the tide was stronger than your truck.

2. If you have been drinking, do not think the rest of the beach would enjoy your Dr. Dre turned up to the pain level. If you do you, at best you may get a visit from a big neighbor asking you to turn it down. At worst, you may find your sound system being tested for its water resistance.

1. If you have been drinking, do not get behind the wheel of that monster wagon with the intent to drive home. If you do, at best you might be caught for a DUI. At worst, you may actually be responsible for the injury or death of an innocent person or animal.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt

 

The Stream of Consciousness Saturday, prompt for this week is re-. After the re the writer can to anything with it. I have to admit these prompts are starting to get real esoteric. The fact I enjoy esoteric makes me like them. If you want to know more go to Linda Hill’s site and check it out right here: http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/09/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-614/

So here is my impression of re-. The title is Rewind. I hope you like it.

Rewind by John W. Howell © 2014

“So what the hell you doing?”

“trying to get this thing to work.”

“What is it?”

“Can’t you see it’s a lamp?”

“No I can’t see it’s a lamp. Doesn’t even look like a lamp. Looks like something out of

“Hello. Wasn’t that a lamp?”

“W-Well yes, I guess─”

“You guess? Don’t you know what I have here?”

“Tell me Frank.”

“This is the damn lamp from

“Yeah, okay Frank. You go boy.”

“First I have to make sure the wishes are in line. We know what happens when you make wishes and screw up. You don’t get what you wished for.”

“Frank. Is this a rewind of the story from the Devil thing last week.”

“Naw. This is the real thing. That devil stuff was crap.”

“Okay. Rub away.”

“Here’s my wish. To receive a billion dollars a year for thirty years.”

“Nice. This means you will live a long time and collect all that money. The Genie will not have anything on you.”

“Rubbing.”

“Yeah, Frank and nothing’s happening.”

“I don’t get it. The guy said it would work.”

“What guy?”

“The guy in the shop up the street. I gave him two hundred bucks. He even gave me a

“Which shop?”

“The one called Rewind. An antique shop.”

“Frank there is no shop named Rewind. There is no antique shop on this street period.”

“He got me again didn’t he?”

“Yeah, Frank he did.”

a socs-badge

TGIF JohnKu

Well, here we are at the close of the week. It is fun to finally get here isn’t it? I think Friday might be my second most favorite day. Saturday is number one, but Friday is a close second. On the Texas coast this will be the first weekend after labor day. This means all the tourists have gone home and we get to have our beaches and town back to normal. It then becomes very peaceful and relaxed. There are only four thousand people on our island. This number can go as high as twenty thousand during the peak crush. So it’s no wonder things seem quiet. I have lived in hugely big cities in my life and I must say it is a treat to experience the peace and quiet of a small town. Todays John Ku (a term coined by Words4jp) hopefully catches the spirit. Hope you like it.

Peace by John W. Howell ©2014

The crowds arrive thick,

Providing some sustenance. . .

Nice to wish god’s speed.

A little More Information About My Book – My GRL

Charles author photo B&W

This week Charles Yallowitz at Legends of Windemere Legends of Windemere wrote two posts on the subject of fan letters and fan art. If you didn’t see them go ahead and click on his site and go to archives. I’ll wait. Okay, you back? Good. The reason I mention Charles posts is I received a fan letter a while back and it was one of the nicest things which happened to me in quite a while. I actually wrote a post about it at the time, but since I had about ten followers I thought I would do another to let those of you who did not see it the first time can review it now. Here is the letter:

015

016

as you can see the reader thought the book was worth reading and in addition what I wrote in the book was a message that touched her and she wanted me to know. To say I was touched is an understatement. I hope you all have this opportunity sometime. You will never forget it.