Top Ten Things Not to Do When Having a garage Sale.
This list was inspired by a recent weekend of visiting a number of garage sales in the search of nautical artifacts that were supposed to be available in different locations.
10 If you have a garage sale, do not stock the inventory with all junk. If you do, at best you will look like you are down and out. At worst, you won’t make many sales since everyone has enough junk that looks and smells like yours at home.If you have a garage sale, do not advertise items that you don’t intend to sell. If you do, at best you can tell the folks the item is already sold.
9 If you have a garage sale, do not advertise items that you don’t intend to sell. If you do, at best you can tell the folks the item is already sold. At worst, you may have some early birds who will know the item isn’t sold and will have to deal with the subsequent mob who will convince you to go get the item in question or face walking the plank.
8 If you have a garage sale, do not put a child in charge of collecting money. If you do, at best your child will feel the impatience of the line that has formed since making change is not your child’s life skill. At worst, you may get a pirate who will be tempted to empty the cash box and steal the child to collect money at other garage sales to continue the cycle forever.
7 If you have a garage sale, do not sit in a big overstuffed chair eating chicken. If you do, at best some of your buyers will be disgusted and leave. At worst, you might lose your chicken to the highest bidder and have no say so in the matter.
6 If you have a garage sale, do not offer for sale any clothing that has not been washed. If you do, at best you will end up with the same inventory which you started out the day. At worst, you will be forced to discount the clothes to the point where some pirate will talk you into paying to remove the stuff.
5 If you have a garage sale, do not offer any eight track stereo tapes for sale. If you do, at best your age will automatically be transparent to all attendees over the age of forty. At worst, you will actually get a buyer who will insist on playing the choices before buying and you won’t have a player which this person has in the car and will loan you while staying and listening in your house for the next week since he has nowhere else to go.
4 If you have a garage sale, do not think the Ty Beanie babies are still thought of as rare finds. If you do, at best they will be priced unreasonably and you‘ll still have them at the end of the sale. At worst, you may actually find someone who is in the dark as much as you and who will buy all of them only to return tomorrow with a can of gas and a demand for their money back.
3 If you have a garage sale, do not smoke cigarettes or let one bob on your lip as you are doing a deal. If you do, At best many will realize all your items will smell like they have been in a forest fire and leave. At worst, one of your ashes will fall into your precious amber collection and produce a conflagration to rival the eruption of Vesuvius.If you have a garage sale, do not offer alcoholic beverages to those attending. If you do, at best you may have
2 If you have a garage sale, do not offer alcoholic beverages to those attending. If you do, at best you may have way more attendee than buyers. At worst, you may have a party which gets out of hand and makes your neighbors so upset that the next morning you find over ten for sale signs on your front lawn.
1 If you have a garage sale do not forget to post signs on where you are located. If you do forget at best you may miss some interested buyers. At worst your buyers will finally find you with only the thought of revenge in their heart which does not make for a happy customer.