Top Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Bar

 

This list was inspired by listening to stories related by our house guests who had made the bar scene during the Memorial Day Weekend. All of these are hearsay and not a matter of personal experiences. I hope you enjoy.

 

Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Bar

10 If you are visiting a bar, do not stand too close to someone expecting them to talk to you. If you do, at best they will move away. At worst, you might be surprised to find yourself an unwilling volunteer for a jujitsu demonstration with you as the victim.

9 If you are visiting a bar, do not order a flaming drink for any reason. If you do, at best you will confirm your narcissistic tendencies. At worst your concoction will catch the back bar on fire, and the four-alarm fire department cost will put your credit card into default.

8 If you are visiting a bar, do not join others in doing shots. If you do at best, you will fall unconscious. At worst, you will be on your feet but engaged in behavior that your will not recall at your trial.

7 If you are visiting a bar, do not get up on the karaoke stage for any reason. If you do, At best you will be coerced into singing a song that you have never heard of before. At worst, you will be idiot enough to tackle Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody and to attempt to sing all the parts.

6 if you are visiting a bar, do not join a discussion about sports if you don’t know anything about sports. If you do, at best your companions will have proof that you are an idiot. At worst, Beefcake Muldoon the guy who’s facts you were challenging will finally have had enough and provide you with your solo flying lesson. (That landing will be pretty rough)

5 If you are visiting a bar, do not insist that the band play your song. If you do, at best the band will ignore you totally. At worst, the huge guy with the word SECURITY on his back will be helping you to the exit to the amusement of the patrons and joy of the band.

4 If you are visiting a bar, do not take drinks and not offer to buy a round. If you do, at best you will soon be drinking alone. At worst, your companions will shame you into buying a drink and suddenly being surprised that the round includes a drink for everyone in the bar as arranged by your former friends.

3 If you are visiting a bar, do not challenge the house champion to a game to impress others. If you do, at best you will be beaten so badly that all those who you wanted to impress think you are an idiot. At worst, you will get into several double or nothing bets that will end up with you no longer having a car.

2 If you are visiting a bar, do not send back a plate of food o matter how bad. If you do, at best those who you are with will wonder why you had the poor judgement to order food in a bar in the first place. At worst, you plate will return from the kitchen with some additional ingredients courtesy of the night cook and his dog.

1 If you are visiting a bar, do not accept the pickled egg eating challenge. If you do, at best you will be finished for the night. At worst, you will be feeling the physical effects of too many pickled eggs for the next week including sleeping alone in the yard.

Seventh Day of It’s Reining Men with Traci Sanders – (me included)

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Today is the seventh day of the Traci Sanders It’s Reining Men Tour. This will be my last day  but there are three more male authors she will be hosting for the remainder of the month. Today I posted a short story which I call Last night. This story is the opening of the first chapter of my latest WIP. You might want to check it out and then come back for the rest of Traci’s tour all month.

Thank you. Tracy for having me. It was a real pleasure and wishing you the best for the remainder of the month.

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When DarknessBreaks

Sixth Day of the IT’s Reining Men Tour with Traci Sanders (and me)

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Today is the sixth day of Traci Sanders’ It’s Reining Men Tour. I am over there pontificating about the six things a writer should know. These were learned by me through the efficient and time-honored tradition of Trial & Error. (Tongue in cheek) Visit if you can

Traci has authored a number of books, but her first foray into fiction for adults is When Darkness Breaks

 

a when darkness breaks

Local news anchor, Amber Woods, seemed to have it all – a thriving career, two beautiful children, and a doting husband named Drake. Life was perfect…until her world was turned upside down in one fateful night. While the incident causes Amber to renew her priorities; unable to deal with what happened, Drake begins sinking into a deep depression laced with infidelity and alcohol.

Hoping a change of scenery will salvage her quickly deteriorating marriage, Amber agrees that a move to New York may be just what they need. Unfortunately, she quickly discovers that you can’t outrun your problems and the past is not always left in the past.

Can Amber save her marriage without losing herself along the way? What will she do when darkness breaks her will to keep trying?

Here is an excerpt.

Drake’s feet tore a cautious but swift path to the double doors, and stopped when he reached the waiting room. His hands trembled as he filled out the papers. Then, he alternated between sitting and standing, unable to settle, as he anticipated the doctor’s arrival. After what seemed like an eternity, Drake spied a white coat out of the corner of his eye.

“Mr. Woods?” A deep, soothing voice summoned him.

Drake turned to see a male physician, possibly in his late fifties, who sported a head full of dark black hair, and appeared to be in excellent physical shape. He shook the doctor’s hand as he confirmed his name.

“I am Dr. Davis. I am the surgeon on your wife’s case. We need to talk about your wife’s current condition.” His words were spoken in a matter-of-fact tone, almost with arrogance.

Drake sat down. The words “We need to talk,” echoed in his mind. He had heard those words from Amber many times, especially lately, and good news never followed.

“Is she alive?” He could barely summon his voice to ask the question.

“She is, but remains in critical condition. Amber suffered severe trauma to the head and is currently in a coma. Amazingly, she came through with only a few broken bones, and those can be mended. Our major concern right now is her brain. We were able to stop the hemorrhaging, but there is still quite a bit of swelling left behind. We are monitoring that now and giving her …”

Drake’s head felt as though it had swelled. His ears rang. He wanted to hear every word the doctor said, but his heart pounded louder than the doctor’s voice, and his tears masked his sight. He pictured his sweet love lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to a plethora of machines and IV drips, as she clung to her last breath of life. He worried about the children too, but felt a powerful obligatory presence with the love of his life in that moment. After all, she was the reason he even became a father. Where have these loving thoughts about her been hiding for so long?

When Drake’s mind and ears returned to the conversation, the doctor said, “I need to get back to check on Amber now. I will send the Chaplain in to speak with you. Is there anyone else you’d like us to call? Do you have any other questions for me?”

Drake only had one: “What now?”

“Now, we wait.”

Guest Post on A Word with Traci – Excerpt from My Next Book

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Traci Sanders is hosting the It’s Reining Men Tour for the month of March. I am lucky to be the kick-off guest and have had a great time. Today I have posted an excerpt from my next book titled His Revenge for release in May. (At least that was the last word). Traci has a beautiful site and well worth a visit. http://awordwithtraci.com/guest-author-john-howell-3/

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Author and mother of three, Traci Sanders has been composing poetry, songs, and children’s stories since the young age of ten. In 2003, she opened her home to young children in her community offering “beyond the basics” teachings. In 2008, she was recognized by the Child Care Resource and Referral Agency as Family Childcare Provider of the Year and was featured in two local newspapers.

In 2010, she furthered her education by earning her Child Development Associates degree and was a recipient of the FIRST (First Incentive for Raising Standards among Teachers) Award presented by the Child Care Commissioner of her state. She continues to shape the young minds of the future through her home-based childcare program. Her daily interactions with these children provide constant inspiration for her writing and she plans to continue on this path until her story has reached “The End.”

Her first book was published in January 2013 titled ‘Welcome to “Poop Camp”: The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth about Potty Training’. She released her first children’s book about family child care in May 2013.

To date, Traci has published five books, including her latest foray into adult fiction titled, ‘When Darkness Breaks’. She is an avid reader and writer, and finds inspiration all around her.

Currently Traci is writing her second adult novel, a light paranormal romance, titled ‘UNSEVERED’.

When Darkness Breaks!

a when darkness breaks

Guest Post at Traci Sanders Place

 

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I am also posting today on A Word with Traci the blog of author Traci Sanders. I put up a short story that was published in the Paper Book Collective titled The World Darkly and thought Traci’s readers would like it. I didn’t think I could do an adequate job of trying to explain Frank, Billy, and Ms. Sutter but still wanted a story day.

Jump over and read the story. You will also find a very nice place to visit frequently.

Here is the link and Traci’s bio. She is quite a person.

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Bio

Author and mother of three, Traci Sanders has been composing poetry, songs, and children’s stories since the young age of ten. In 2003, she opened her home to young children in her community offering “beyond the basics” teachings. In 2008, she was recognized by the Child Care Resource and Referral Agency as Family Childcare Provider of the Year and was featured in two local newspapers.

In 2010, she furthered her education by earning her Child Development Associates degree and was a recipient of the FIRST (First Incentive for Raising Standards among Teachers) Award presented by the Child Care Commissioner of her state. She continues to shape the young minds of the future through her home-based childcare program. Her daily interactions with these children provide constant inspiration for her writing and she plans to continue on this path until her story has reached “The End.”

Her first book was published in January 2013 titled ‘Welcome to “Poop Camp”: The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth about Potty Training’. She released her first children’s book about family child care in May 2013.

To date, Traci has published five books, including her latest foray into adult fiction titled, ‘When Darkness Breaks’. She is an avid reader and writer, and finds inspiration all around her.

Currently Traci is writing her second adult novel, a light paranormal romance, titled ‘UNSEVERED’.

 

When Darkness Breaks!

 

It’s Reining Men Tour – Day Two

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Today is the second day of Traci Sanders’ It’s Reining Men Tour. It would be nice if you could jump over there and have a look at her blog. The post today is a little about me and my blog. While there look around and tell her I sent you and who knows, you may hit it off.

http://awordwithtraci.com/guest-author-john-howell-2

 

Traci is the author of When Darkness Breaks

 

a when darkness breaks

Local news anchor, Amber Woods, seemed to have it all – a thriving career, two beautiful children, and a doting husband named Drake. Life was perfect…until her world was turned upside down in one fateful night. While the incident causes Amber to renew her priorities; unable to deal with what happened, Drake begins sinking into a deep depression laced with infidelity and alcohol.

Hoping a change of scenery will salvage her quickly deteriorating marriage, Amber agrees that a move to New York may be just what they need. Unfortunately, she quickly discovers that you can’t outrun your problems, and the past is not always left in the past.

Can Amber save her marriage without losing herself along the way? What will she do when darkness breaks her will to keep trying?

It’s Reining Men Tour – Traci Sanders Invited Me to Go Along

 

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Traci Sanders has made space for me on her blog A Word with Traci. She is having an event she calls It’s Reining Men Tour. Here is a little more about the tour and the wonderful person and author. I’ll be there all week so stop by when you have a chance and check out the other tabs on her site.

Tracy says

I have a very special ♣March♣ gift for all of you!

♣ 4 WEEKS

♣ 4 INCREDIBLE MALE AUTHORS

You will be entertained and enlightened!

Stay tuned to find out who our special authors are …

All during March!

a traci headshot

Author and mother of three, Traci Sanders has been composing poetry, songs, and children’s stories since the young age of ten. In 2003, she opened her home to young children in her community offering “beyond the basics” teachings. In 2008, she was recognized by the Child Care Resource and Referral Agency as Family Childcare Provider of the Year and was featured in two local newspapers.

In 2010, she furthered her education by earning her Child Development Associates degree and was a recipient of the FIRST (First Incentive for Raising Standards among Teachers) Award presented by the Child Care Commissioner of her state. She continues to shape the young minds of the future through her home-based childcare program. Her daily interactions with these children provide constant inspiration for her writing, and she plans to continue on this path until her story has reached “The End.”

Her first book was published in January 2013 titled ‘Welcome to “Poop Camp”: The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth about Potty Training’. She released her first children’s book about family child care in May 2013.

To date, Traci has published five books, including her latest foray into adult fiction titled, ‘When Darkness Breaks’. She is an avid reader and writer, and finds inspiration all around her.

Currently, Traci is writing her second adult novel, a light paranormal romance, titled ‘UNSEVERED’.

Click to visit her book

When Darkness Breaks!