Since Keith Channing is off doing NaNoMo stuff, I decided to do a finger prompt. This is where I grab a book and randomly open it and point to a page without looking. Today’s book is Eternal Road – The last stop by that bon vivant, internally acclaimed, and humble author John W. Howell. The page is 141, and the word closest to my finger is Bugs Bunny. Here we go.
“They have some interest in doing a movie using one of my books.”
“Wow, that’s great. Which one?”
“I never heard of it.”
“What?”
“I never heard of the studio,”
“I mean, which book?”
“Oh, they didn’t say. They just said we should take a meeting and figure out the details.”
“Okay, this sounds strange.”
“Why?”
“I never heard of a studio just inviting an author to come in and discuss making a movie unless he’s Matthew McConaughey.”
“There is always the first time.”
“Did you call them?”
“No, I got an email and was told to call a number.”
“So you called.”
“Yup, and the studio head got right on.”
“Well, what can I say? Make sure you get a contract.”
“They said we would sign it after the option money is paid.”
“That’s odd. You usually sign the contract before the option money is paid.”
“I guess they handle it differently. So nice that they will take my check.”
“Wait a minute. You are paying them.”
“Yeah. Only thirteen hundred dollars, and they will do all the work.”
“What work?”
“Getting the pitch deck together, media kit, bio video, and trailer.”
“This sounds a lot like what an agent does for no money as part of their job. This doesn’t sound like a studio. You use all those things to get a studio to buy the option rights.”
“Oh. Maybe I misunderstood about the studio,”
“Yeah, maybe. What was the guy’s name you talked to?”
“Mr. Bunny.”
“Mr. Bunny?”
“He said I could call him Bugs.”
“You haven’t sent any money yet, have you?”
“No.”
“Good. Cancel the meeting.”
“Why?”
“You do know that Bugs Bunny is a cartoon character, right?”
This post originally ran on November 10th, 2014. it was in response to having an engine light come on in my car. It looks to be relevant today, so here goes.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do If Your Engine Light Comes On.
10 If your engine light comes on, do not panic. If you do, at best, you may make things worse by being rattled. At worst, you may pull off the road in a panicked state, keep rolling past the shoulder into a culvert below. (Now you have a mess of lights to deal with, Bud including the state police.)
9 If your engine light comes on, do not consult your owner’s manual until you come to a stop. If you do, at best, you won’t find the section inconspicuously marked “Warning Indicator – Engine,” and you’ll have to stop anyway. At worst, you will be concentrating on using the index to find the subject matter and inadvertently run into the stopped care in front of you. ( In any case, the index and manual will be of no help.)
8 If your engine light comes on, do not try to ignore it. If you do, at best, you will be continually reminded that something is wrong. At worst, your engine light bulb will burn out, and you will think the trouble has magically cleared up until you hear the rending screech of metal marking the final moments of the life of your engine. (Yeah, five quarts of oil in the drive is a lot.)
7 If your engine light comes on, do not think this is a normal function of the car’s systems. If you do, at best, you will only have a minor additional repair. At worst, you may be saying goodbye to your trusty car as you watch it disappear into the local u-pull-it parts depot. (With the added insult that the tow truck fee was more significant than the salvage payment.)
6 If your engine light comes on, do not attempt to diagnose the problem yourself. If you do, at best, you may end up at the mechanic since you couldn’t find the problem. At worst, you may have misdiagnosed the situation and be happily motoring along in a remote area as you see the light again, followed by billowing clouds of smoke. (This is after passing the last gas station for one hundred miles sign, fifty miles ago.)
5 If your engine light comes on, do not think it is an excellent accompaniment to the soft romantic music on the radio. If you do, at best, you may not be able to start your car someday. At worst, you could be seeing the beginning of the end of the soft music and your car. (Funny, you never heard that strange noise before.)
4 If your engine light comes on, do not pretend it doesn’t bother you. If you do, at best, you will have unsettled moments until you come to grips with the fact there is trouble. At worst, the light will trigger long-suppressed anxieties, which could cause a significant episode requiring hours of psychological help. (This help will make the repair bill on the car look cheap.)
3 If your engine light comes on, do not think your car is irreparably damaged. If you do, at best, you will lose confidence in its reliability. At worst, you will take unreasonable steps to get rid of the car, which could lead to significant loss of funds and peace of mind. (Thinking you could shove it off a cliff might lead to being cited by the state police for littering.)
2 If your engine light comes on, do not suggest to your spouse that you swap cars for a while. If you do, at best, your spouse will have to deal with the issue. At worst, the problem is so acute your spouse breaks down on the freeway, and a gang of carjackers comes along, strip, and burns your car. (In addition, your spouse thinks the lawless lifestyle looks pretty romantic and joins their crew and now sports a “Mess with the best, die like the rest” tattoo on the back.)
1 If your engine light comes on, do not drive the car to any place but the mechanic. If you do, at best, you may have a small repair bill which could get bigger. At worst, the problem will continue to get bigger until you are no longer controlling your car. (You will become its servant with all the negative attention related to the title.)
Today we are going to attend Bee Cave ChamberFest an event filled with food, music, vendors, and authors too. We are going to be catered by the Brooklyn Breakfast Shop of Austin. Our entertainment is James Taylor and Carly Simon
Menu
Classic Bacon, Egg & Cheese On A Bagel
Substitute bacon for sausage, avocado, or barbacoa
Barbacoa, Avocado, Lime, Pickled Serranos & An Egg On A Hero
Fennel Sausage, Fresno Pimento, Cheese, House Pickles, Sunny Egg On Our House Made Whey Biscuit
Citrus Roast Pork, Avocado, Pickled Red Onions, Cilantro Aioli & An Egg On A Hero
Croissant With Two Eggs & Cheese
Sweet Potato Hash, Shishito Pepper Sauce, Pickled Red Onions
Buttermilk Fried Chicken, House Pickles, Sweet Heat Sauce& An Egg On A Biscuit
Avocado Toast With Pickled Red Onions, Lime, Toasted Pumpkin Seeds, Roasted Tomatoes On Texas Toast
Let’s get on the bus and go.
The first stop is a dance team and music.
The Library of Bee Cave and sponsor for the author’s attendance at ChamberFest.
Plenty of booths to visit
Move booths.
A rescue group is represented.
One of the most popular stops.
A big chicken was there too.
Here are two of the authors Amy Jackson and Wesley Lewis.
A sign letting everyone know who is attending.
Terry Lewis (R) with Wesley Lewis. Terry is in charge of the event for the library. Thanks to Terry for organizing the day.
So that is the tour. Have some food and relax with James and Carly.
While getting ready for a library book appearance this afternoon, there was an envelope on the kitchen counter which had been overlooked. It left from yesterday’s mail delivery. Since it was from my dental insurance provider, opening it seemed to be a good idea. It was from the head of client services, and she wanted to let me know that if I do nothing, my coverage will continue on January 1, 2022.
I felt all warm inside until I saw the date of the letter was October 15. I had to wonder why there was such a delay. This caused me to read further and come to a section that detailed that my premium was not going to change next year. Well, that’s good, was my thought. Then looking at the premium amount, a surprise jumped out. The amount listed was $11.00 more than I thought. With my finger resting on the word ‘premium,’ my other hand went to the web. Sure enough, the amounts were the same.
A further look at payment history showed the price of my premium went up by $11.00 back in May of 2019. “Where the hell have you been?” This was a question that seemed to have no answer. A call to customer service confirmed the increase and the fact that my autopay took care of it.
Disconnecting in a state of stun, the wondering mind turned to all the other autopay accounts, and then the doorbell rang. The first action was getting Twiggy off the ceiling. The second was to look at the ring camera mage, which showed a guy standing there waving an envelope. I spoke to him through the intercom. “Just drop it.” “No can do.” Finally came the reply, “Special delivery.”
I picked up Twiggy and went to open the door. She is visible through the glass doing her Tasmanian devil impersonation while throwing foam left and right. The guy must have had a second thought since he threw down the envelope and broke the Olympic record covering the 100 yards to his truck.
Putting Twiggy back down, making sure she was breathing normally, I retrieved the envelope. Here is what was inside.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “close eyes and point.” Grab the closest printed material to you when you sit down to write your post, open it up (if it’s a book, flyer, etc.), close your eyes, and point. Whatever your finger lands on, use that as your prompt. Have fun!
If you would like to have, fun visit Linda’s blog and see how easy it is. Here is the link.
It is Friday again, and time to prepare ourselves for the weekend. What better way than to have some good news to get us in the mood for fun.
Our first story is about a boy who cares.
Photo courtesy of the ASPCA
Evan Bisnauth lives in the Bronx with a primary passion for helping socialize adoptable dogs by reading to them regularly.
His favorite story to read to the dogs is “Belly Rubbins for Bubbins,” written by Jason Kraus.
Evan says, “The story is about a dog placed into the shelter and got adopted. I like reading that to the dogs because when I’m done reading the book, I’m like, ‘You will get adopted. Now I have hope for you’.”
The ASPCA announced the recipients of the 2021 Humane Awards, an event to honor people and pets from across the nation who have made outstanding contributions to animal welfare. Evan was named Kid of the Year. The good news here is even the smallest acts of kindness have significant results.
Our second story is about an 80-year-old guy with grit.
Photo courtesy of Norman Ruff / Photo: Ontario Provincial Police
Norman Ruff lives in a cottage near Port Carling in Muskoka, Ontario. Norman, an 80-year-old, and his wife Lois were awakened by a Black bear breaking through the kitchen window. The bear spotted Norman and stood up, and roared.
There was a disagreement about house ownership, and Norman punched the bear several times in the nose. The bear, not content to be bullied, slapped Norman several times and grabbed his hand in his mouth.
Finally, Norman managed to open the front door, and the bear eventually found his way out.
Norman was taken to the hospital in Bracebridge, where he became a celebrity among the staff for fighting a bear with his fists. The bear did not require medical attention.
On October 26, 2021, Bracebridge Ontario Provincial Police detachment commander Inspector Burton and Superintendent Houliston presented Norman with an award for bravery. There are no reports on the bear receiving an award as well. The good news here is both the bear and the man lived to meet again.
Today’s John Ku talks about kindness. I hope you have a great weekend.
In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm on Sunday 5th December (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
This post was originally run on November 3rd, 2014. Since there are still parents, children, and still inclement days, I think it will work. Also, if you have a minute I’m over at Story Empire talking about indications that your writing may not be working. Here’s the link but come back.
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This list was created to pay homage to parents trying to be an author and have the duty to take care of the little ones. I’ve been there and got the shirt.
Ten Things Not to Do While Watching the Kids on an Inclement Day
10 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not try to write on your novel. If you do, at best, you will produce a small number of very disappointing words. At worst, you will face a task as tricky as trying to teach a pig to sing. You and the pig will end up being very frustrated.
9 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not try to watch anything on TV that isn’t kid programming. If you do, at best, you won’t be able to see a thing. At worst, you will answer the door to see CPS agents with a warrant ready to take the kids because of the complaints your neighbors filed due to the non-stop screaming.
8 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not play games on your phone or notebook. If you do, at best, the kids will want to play as well. At worst, your attention will be diverted enough for the kids to get into every drawer, including that secret place where you hide adult toys. (And they will come to you and ask what these are for just when the next-door neighbor stops by for a visit)
7 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to talk on the phone. If you do, at best, you must be prepared to hold the kids the whole time. At worst, whoever you are talking to will wonder who is in charge in your home, why you are so mean to your lovable children, and what was that crash?
6 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to make anything in the kitchen that doesn’t have the word ‘lunch’ connected to it. If you do, at best, you will have little helpers who will make the project twice as long. At worst, you will invest your time and energy into something that, when served, contains a stray toy that you swore was safely on the other counter. The person getting the toy contaminated serving will be one of your in-laws
5 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not attempt to play their favorite game. If you do, at best, they will refuse to play since they sense your desperation. At worst, they will pretend their favorite game is avoiding playing their favorite game, thereby challenging you to stay away from the soothin’ syrup in the liquor cabinet.
4 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not call the neighbor for help. If you do, at best, your neighbor is in as desperate a condition, and two more problems won’t help. At worst, you will have an IOU, which you can never repay other than watching the neighbor’s kids at a time that is most critical for you to be able to work in peace.
3 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not think you can go to the store to kill time. If you do, at best, it will take all your strength to keep an even temperament and to return all the items grabbed off the shelves. At worst, you and the kids will be asked to leave the story by the same manager who before today was more than happy to take thousands of dollars when you shopped alone.
2 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not be tempted to lock yourself in the bedroom. If you do at best, the kids will not miss you. At worst, the kids will use the time to act out their ultimate stories, including the fire-breathing dragon and jousting tournament using things around the house for props. (You know, like the Crème Brule torch and a broom).
1 If you are watching the kids on an inclement day, do not take them to the library. If you do, at best, the library’s peace will be shattered since being quiet is an invitation to do otherwise. At worst, you will find the normally placid library patrons and personnel looking like a zombie herd as they slowly circle you and your family. Unfortunately, the outcome doesn’t look like it’s going to be good.
It is Halloween, so it is only fitting that we tour the neighborhood and check out the decorations. We are being catered by Torchy’s of Lakeway. Our entertainment is Bobby Pickett singing The Monster Mash.
Menu.
Expand it if you would like to read it in detail
I had the bus decorated for Halloween so let’s go.
Our first stop is an old friend. The home of the Flamingos.
Great gate.
Captured skeleton.
Glowing ghouls.
Some monsters and a little library.
Webs, trampoline, and skeleton.
Biggest spider ever.
Happy couple.
Monster house.
Giant web.
Halloween dance.
The ultimate.
I hope you enjoyed the tour. Have some tacos and listen to Bobby Pickett
Since tomorrow is Halloween, I decided to double-check the preparations for the trick or treaters. I put on my boots to avoid inadvertently stepping on any sharp object in the front of the house. The backyard is a barefoot safe zone, but the front is a different matter. It is like the boonies hazard-wise.
A notebook grab off the bookcase made sure the listing of the things needing to be checked was at hand. My first stop was the boogeyman by the front door. The electronic sensor which caused the release of the ghoulish laugh was working perfectly.
Next, the automatic candy dispenser was found to be releasing two Kit Kat bars per perceived visitor instead of one. A quick adjustment and reboot corrected the problem, and rather than open the apparatus to replace the bar, I ate it.
Further down the driveway, I checked the parent’s booze dispenser. Pretending to be a parent, I read the instructions. The machine required entering a birthday to receive a margarita. Although a little early entering my birthday did produce a margarita on the rocks without salt. Not wanting to waste a perfectly prepared margarita, it accompanied me on the final phase of my rounds.
The boombox is cleverly hidden in the bushes and will surprise all who approach the house. It is placed so that it is the first thing encountered by visitors. There is a prerecorded reel with messages. My favorite is the one that says, “Halt, who goes there?” The banshee scream is a good one too.
As I returned to the house, satisfied that the trick or treaters would be well-served without any need to interact, I came upon a bamboo pungy stick. It was stuck in the flower bed with a note attached. The message read, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “boo.” Find a word with the letters “boo” in it or use “boo” as is and base your post on it. Enjoy!
“Anyone who gets past the boombox and the booz machine is welcome to the Kit Kat. Of course, then there is the ghoul for a final scare. So there will be no loitering.”
