Top Ten things Not to do When Trying to Decide What to Watch on TV

October 4, 2021October 3, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 73 Comments

I originally published this list on October 6th, 2014. I hope you enjoy it.

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Top Ten Things Not to do When Trying to Decide What to Watch on TV

This list was inspired by a recent visit to a friend’s house and observing how the friend decided which shows to watch.

10 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not take a suggestion from anyone ages fourteen to eighteen. If you do, at best, you will be lost in the translation. At worst, you will see and hear things that will keep you up at night.

9 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not use the newspaper reviews as a guide to good programming. If you do, at best, you will be asleep earlier than usual. At worst, you might find yourself wondering if you should discontinue your cable service.

8 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, don’t ask someone else what they want to watch. If you do, at best, you will get an icy stare when you ignore the suggestion. At worst, you may end up watching this and other shows in the privacy of the garage.

7 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not scroll through the guide hoping something good will jump out at you. If you do, at best, you will have to review one-hundred and sixty channels that are basically the same. At worst, those in the room may call an audible, and you will lose your remote privileges for heaven knows how long.

6 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not call a friend for a suggestion. If you do, at best, the friend will want a report on the show. At worst, you will hate it and either lie to the friend or hurt their feelings.

5 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your in-laws are there, simply hand over the remote. If you don’t, at best, they’ll miss their favorite show and hate you forever. At worst, they might like your selection and decide to return on the nights that it is on since they can’t remember which channel to tune.

4 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch and your significant other wants to do something else, turn the set-off. If you don’t, at best, you will be watching the show alone. At worst, you might be watching the show, and it will be your only company for the long cold winter.

3 If you are trying to decide which TV show to watch, do not rely on the network hype about the “best new show of the season.” If you do, you do, at best, you might waste a half hour. At worst, you might waste a whole night depending on how many network hypes you followed.

2 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not think the DVR will help. If you do, at best, you may end up with a bunch of shows and no disk space. At worst, you may have recorded all the clinkers of the season and, while reviewing them, miss the best.

1 If you are trying to decide which show to watch on TV, do not use any gambling prop like dice to help with the decision. If you do, at best, the odds of getting something you want to watch are the same as getting a lousy program. At worst, your prop will be no more favorable to you in selecting an excellent show to watch than it has been in delivering your sure thing, lotto win.

Views of the Neighborhood – All Things Texas

October 3, 2021October 2, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 85 Comments

Good day to you all. As you can see by the headlines we are off to look at things you see everyday in Texas. People love to decorate their houses with Texas symbols and we are going to take a look at a few. Our brunch is being catered by the Forthright Cafe in Austin. We’ve asked Toby Keith to come back since last week we had some technical difficulties.

American Breakfast
two fried eggs, sourdough toast with blueberry jam, hash-browns & choice of bacon, sausage or avocado
Biscuits & Gravy
fluffy house-made biscuits with chicken sausage gravy add two poached eggs +3 add fried chicken
Pastrami Hash
shredded pastrami, shredded potatoes, onions, peppers, two sunny eggs, queso & salsa doña
Pork Belly Eggs Benedict
poached eggs, cherry tomato confit, arugula, hollandaise, on English muffins, pork belly
Pork Belly Chilaquiles
corn tortillas tossed in salsa roja, two sunny eggs, crispy pork belly, pickled onion, queso cotija
Turkey BLT
sourdough toast, roasted turkey, bacon, shaved lettuce, tomato jam, with house-made fries
Chicken & Waffles
two boneless fried chicken thighs, maple honey butter, pecans, maple syrup, powdered sugar
Breakfast Sandwich
brioche Texas toast, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, black forest ham, chipotle mayo

So, get on the bus and we’ll be off.

The first stop is at a place that supports the University of Texas in a big way.

Here is another University of Texas supported but a little more reserved.

Here is a plain star but the bet is you wouldn’t see it anywhere else.

Shutters with stars.

Big ole Texas star.

A little smaller Texas star.

A Texas star mounted in glass.

I have shown this windmill before but thought the Texas colors and star on the rudder was in keeping with the tour.

A star grouping

What could be more Texas than the state used to display the house number?

Finally, a metal trellis with a star.

I hope you enjoyed the tour today and now have some food and listen to Toby Keith.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Inspire/Aspire/Expire

October 2, 2021October 1, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

It was a quiet morning that could inspire incredible feats of mental productivity. However, before that process could begin, my carbon host kept reminding me to aspire to something even more important than the solution to the world’s problems. The shaking hands, frontal lobe pounding, and blurred vision led me to conclude that the carbon unit was set to expire without coffee. Lucky for it and me, the cup was already completing the beautiful act of creation. The aroma hit the olfactories like a linebacker determined to sack the quarterback. The olfactories called “time out,” and the rest of the unit stood at the ready for relief. Lips slightly parted, waiting for the hot potion that would soon be coursing throughout the entity, delivering its life-saving properties.

That done, it was time to visit the patio to get to work on the e-mails and post visits. As I was setting up the umbrella, a strange noise came to my now functioning hearing systems. It was like a small cry of a hawk. Looking up, I could see a speck in the sky that quickly turned into a dot. While my caffeine field brain was calculating the possibilities, my ocular sensors figured out that the flailing object was a man, and he was headed right for me.

The air was forcibly driven from my body at the point of catching the man. Yes, he landed right into my outstretched arms. We both hit the patio with a noise that could be described as resembling a watermelon hitting the street after dropping from a twelve-story building. I think you get the picture.

I’m not sure how long I was out, but I opened my eyes to the biggest person I had ever seen. He had arms that looked like GI Joe on his best day and no neck. Around his waist was a belt with a buckle that read WWF Champ. “Hi, the name’s Tiny,” he said.”Thanks for catching me. This is for you.”

With that, he shoved an envelope into my immobilized hand, stepped over me, and left through the gate. I felt like a school project called flat me, forgotten on the concrete. Twiggy finally licked me back to life, and I opened the envelope. Inside was a message from Dan Antion. It read;

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “inspire/aspire/expire.” Use them in any form you like. Use one, use two or use them all if you want. If you use two, you get bonus points! If you use all three, Cheryl will put your next drink on David’s tab. Enjoy!

Clearly, I deserve a drink.

If you want to participate, go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2021/10/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-1-2021/

“You’ve done it again.”

“What?”

“Used our time on that stupid prologue.”

“Well, I couldn’t help myself.”

“What brought Tiny back to life?”

“Jennie Fitzkee.”

“Of Teacher’s Reflections?”

“The very same.”

“You opening this blog to requests?”

“No, but she suggested that it might be fun to have Tiny visit.”

“Pretty short visit.”

“Big impact, though.”

“What happened to the prompt?”

“It’s all in the prologue.”

“So we can hit the bar?”

“Yup, and the first one is on Dan Antion’s buddy David.”

“Just the first?”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

October 1, 2021September 30, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments

“You want to chase me, Lucy?”
“It is Friday, so take off.”
“Give me the count of three.”
“One…two, three, Hahaha.”

Well, Friday is here and inviting us all to the weekend. Thanks, Friday, I accept.

This has been the week of Washington.

Congress was successful and extended government funding until December 3rd. On the $1 Trillion infrastructure bill and the $3.4 Trillion climate, healthcare and education bill, there is trouble in paradise. Seems strange that the Dems who control the Senate and house can’t seem to get everyone in line. The progressives (to be read, socialists) want the bigger bill brought forward before approving the smaller. Good luck, Schumer and Pelosi. Of course, the saying is, “Never underestimate Pelosi.” She says she is bringing the infrastructure bill to a vote. As of this writing, I don’t know if she did.

The generals in charge of the military aspect of the Afghanistan withdrawal fiasco have been testifying in front of the Senate and House on Tuesday and Wednesday. Much was said about Biden not following the advice of the generals to have 2500 troops on the ground to cover the withdrawal. The only other big reveal was that the Taliban had offered the U.S. military the option to secure the entire city of Kabul while it was leaving. This would have required more troops which Biden turned down. Had the city been secure maybe, just maybe those 13 Americans might have been spared. Of course we’ll never know. Now that the generals have been grilled by the Senate and house maybe the whole thing will blow over. I’m sure Joe hopes so. I still feel badly for the Americans still left behind and for the families of those killed.

The issue at the border was cleaned up. All the Haitians were shipped out. Looks like 12,400 were let into the country on a temporary basis and about 2000 sent back to Haiti. I think the rush to the border paid off for those wanting to be here.

Right now 55% of all Americans are fully vaccinated. The Biden mandate has not been implemented since there is some guidance needed from the feds. When it does it is probable the numbers will go up.

Today’s JohnKu talks about having Washington in the news. I hope you have a great weekend.

You know it’s bad news,

When all you read about is. . .

Washington hijinks.

Thursday – A Little Personal – A Dragon Duel with Twiggy and Lucy

September 30, 2021September 29, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 105 Comments

“So, what is this stuff, Lucy?”

“Those are costumes. They are supposed to be dragon costumes.”

“Dragon costumes? What are dragon costumes doing here?”

“Remember when you decided you wanted to be a crocodile instead of a puma?”

“Yes, I remember, but how did dragons come up?”

“Well, the artist Resa suggested we dress up as dragons and have a dragon duel to the finish. She thought it would be more fun.”

“Boy, that sounds like no fun at all. I’ve never been a dragon.”

“See, that’s the point. You need to expand your comfort zone. Dragons might be fun.”

“Well, maybe I’ll try it. How about you? I must say that costume looks a little skimpy.”

“I think mom is hunting up another. Why don’t you try yours on?”

“How do I look? It feels good for sure.”

“You look a little like a leopard. I think you need some scales and maybe some backfins.”

“I don’t think it matters. I’m starting to feel like a dragon. What kind am I?”

“How about a magical dragon? Let’s pop over to the porch out of these rain puddles.”

“Good job on getting your costume to the porch. How’d you do that?”

“I had a little help from the boss. By the way, I’m a lyrical dragon.”

“A lyrical dragon, huh? Well, lyrical dragon, prepare to come face to face with a fire-breathing magical dragon.”

“I’m not sure magical dragons breath fire. We need to work on this more. Take off that costume, and let’s chat.”

“You know I’ve been doing some thinking about our fantasies.”

“Oh-oh. When you start thinking, things can get messy.”

“It’s just we have such a good time with water buffalo and puma. I’m wondering why we don’t just stick with what we know.”

“There are good reasons to do that, Little One. Also, it is good to expand your horizon.”

“You know Lucy, you are so wise yet sometimes miss the obvious.”

“What have I missed?”

“We are dogs, for heaven’s sake. I’m going after that squirrel.

Tuesday – A Little Personal – Kreative Kue #331 by Keith Channing

September 28, 2021September 27, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

In Keith’s words:

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo

“How do you know?”

“I’m telling you I smelled the shampoo.”

“How can you smell shampoo when it’s not been used?”

“Come on. You know as well as I do that stuff can leave an olfactory trace that can be picked up for miles.”

“Yes, but mom isn’t even home.”

“Which makes our situation all the more precarious.”

“So you think this back-to-back watch scenario is going to help?”

“Look. If we spot the old man coming out of the kitchen door with some sad excuse of a treat, you know he’s got a bath on the brain. I just think early warned is early armed.”

“So, what are we going to do?”

“When we spot him, we run like hell.”

“That’s not very dignified.”

“Who cares? It keeps the suds out of our eyes.”

“Look, here he comes.”

“Treat?”

“Yup. A piece of turkey.”

“Turkey, you sure. Let me look. Damn, you are right. It’s turkey.”

“What does it mean.”

“Worse than I thought.”

“Tell me.”

“A trip to the vet. Let’s take off.”

“Maybe it’s not.”

“Don’t be a fool. If he was holding that pathetic bacon treat bag, it’s a bath. Turkey is a full-on vet trip.”

“Where should we go?”

“I saw something on the path. It’s drawing flies, so a good place to roll. He won’t come near us then.”

“But that will beg a bath.”

“Which would you rather have? Vet or bath.”

“Let’s go.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Cooking Dinner

September 27, 2021September 26, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments

This post was originally run on September 29th 2014. Still bears paying attention to today. I hope you like it.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do While Cooking Dinner

This list has as inspiration a mishap in the kitchen resulting from not being fully engaged in the process. I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are cooking dinner, do not walk away from that pot of water that refuses to boil. If you do, at best, you will return to find a steam-filled kitchen. At worst, you will return to a completely dry pot in the basement through the giant hole in the floor and the volunteer fire department captain writing up the citation.

9 If you are cooking dinner, do not try to edit your novel at the same time. If you do, at best, you may find the word asparagus in your final proof. At worst, you will not find the word asparagus in the final proof and will have to live with “She reached for him and could feel his asparagus responding to her advance.”

8 If you are cooking dinner, do not try to watch the big game while measuring out the ingredients. If you do, at best, you will only miss a few spices. At worst, you will get teaspoons and yards confused and find your recipe expanded to enough servings for twenty.

7 If you are cooking dinner, do not accept help even if asked. If you do, at best, the person helping will alter your recipe to their desire, but it will work out. At worst, the person helping will leave out key ingredients or add something that doesn’t belong, and instead of your triumph dish, you will be serving a new form of dog food.

6 If you are cooking dinner, do not ask people what they would like. If you do, at best, you will only get a couple of different requests and can make an executive decision which to ignore. At worst, you will have such diverse opinions you will finally give up and throw everyone into the car for a drive-through visit.

5 If you are cooking dinner, do not decide you know the recipe by heart. If you do, at best, the result will be close to what it is supposed to be. At worst, you will produce what will be known for eternity as “that crap that was supposed to be a lasagna.”

4 If you are cooking dinner, do not think everyone likes spicy food. If you do, at best, you will only have a couple of people who seem too weak to eat. At worst, you will be alternating between running for water to quell the burning and giving heart palpitations to bring back those affected.

3 If you are cooking dinner, do not think everyone on the planet will enjoy your special meal made from stuffed goat intestines. If you do, at best the evening will end early. At worst, you will cause several of your guests to run screaming for their lives, fighting the gag response never to return.

2 If you are cooking dinner, do not try to pass off a Stouffers Mac and Cheese, which was in the freezer as homemade. If you do, at best, your family might not notice. At worst, the family will expect the same quality the next time, and you’ll be stuck with your dirty little secret, which will be found out sooner or later.

1 If you are cooking dinner, do not sample the food or wine to any significant degree. If you do, at best, you will be tired of the meal before serving. At worst, you will not outlast the preparation and wonder how the dinner went without you or the meal the next day.

Views of the Neighborhood – Another House Build

September 26, 2021September 25, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 97 Comments

We are off to view another home today. We want to look at this one because it is being built next to the runway at the Lakeway airport. It seems like a big joint, so we have to go through it. We are being catered by Tyson’s Tacos of Austin. I figured tacos are good for wandering around a construction site. Our entertainment is not available this week since YouTube is having a tough time allowing for the copying of videos.

Let’s get on the bus.

So here we are. As you can see, the outside is pretty much done. A lot of stonework.

Here is another view. Notice the observation area on the second floor.

Here is the three-car garage. You can also get a better idea of the stonework. There are piles of drywall ready to be installed.

The laundry room is right off the garage.

A doggie washing area in the laundry room.

A big living room with sliders on both sides. Through the glass, you can see an outside fireplace.

A double-sided fireplace into an office.

Second bedroom with outside slider.

Out to the patio from the living room.

Big shower in the bedroom ensuite bathroom.

Large island going where all those pipes are located.

The second-floor bath with tub. Those stairs lead to the observation area.

The observation area overlooks the airport.

Second-floor bedroom.

Second-floor ensuite shower.

Well, That’s it. Enjoy the food. I hope you have a great week. If you want to watch a pretty funny video of Toby Keith’s titled “Who’s Your Daddy,” you can click on the link. Sorry, it wouldn’t embed in the post.

https://youtu.be/TVRzk3VWOKY

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Near/Far

September 25, 2021September 24, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

Near my house is a beautiful waterfall that is the ideal place to contemplate life’s unanswered questions. There is a bench for sitting and even a table that can be used for a picnic or a great spot for a laptop. After a hectic morning, I decided to head over there and take some time to discover at least one answer to many questions.

The spot is about a fifteen-minute walk from the parking lot. The air was crisp for Texas, which meant it was in the 70s, so I took up a healthy stride and covered the distance in sixteen and a half minutes. (The senior citizen Olympic rate) Upon arriving on-site, I was taken back to see a family of four had taken up the table and the bench. There was no room for contemplation, let alone peace.

I turned to leave when I heard one of the kids yell about something in the sky. My eyes followed his point (his mama needs to talk to him later about pointing), and several opened parachutes were heading for the park. I knew this would not be just a simple skydiving club exercise, so I began my Q-tip shuffle toward the entrance.

Of course, one of the divers landed in front of me, blocking my exit. I decided to get into a Kung Foo stance to let him know I’m not just an over the hill, bag of bones pushover. The level of laughter coming from the diver was infectious. I couldn’t help myself, so I joined in. He then reached out and handed me an envelope. Expecting some kind of trick, I took it with two fingers. He laughed some more, and as he turned to leave, I caught sight of the patch on his shoulder. I initially thought it was a USPS patch, but I was wrong. The blue and gold Navy Seal Team Six patch told me my Kung Foo ruse was indeed laughable.

I opened the letter, and you are right. It was from Linda Hill.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “near/far.” Use “near,” use “far,” use them both if you’d like. In fact, if you start your post with one and end with the other, you get bonus points! Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy, visit Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/09/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-25-2021/

Who knows? That link could get you far.

*The sound of the register racking up those bonus points *

“Near time to hit the bar.”

“What’s the hurry?”

“You almost took the whole morning with that prologue.”

“You like it I can tell.”

“How can you tell?”

“You have a smile on your lips.”

“Maybe it’s gas. You don’t know.”

“Well, anyway, the prompt is done.”

“As are most of your readers.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”

“Says the guy who has no life whatsoever.”

“That’s not true.”

“What do you do for fun?”

“Write.”

“What do you do to relax?”

“Write.”

“What do you do on vacation?”

“Write.”

“The prosecution rests.”

“Let’s hit the beer garden.”

“Beer garden? Where did that come from?”

“A story I’m writing.”

“Gad.”

“Let’s go. Unless you would rather not. If so, I’ll go myself.”

“Since I’m buying.”

“Yes?”

“Without me, you won’t get far.”

A note from the management. *cha-ching on bonus points.

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

September 24, 2021September 23, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

It is always good to see a Friday roll around. Someone asked me not too long ago why Friday is particular since, as a retiree, all the days are like a day off. My response was something like, “I love Fridays since it marks the end of a workweek and heralds a time of relaxation. Even though I have retired from organized commerce, I still work at writing.” That all sounded good but between you and me. I like Fridays because I am one day closer to having a beer on Saturday. Okay, okay, call me simple, but you have to take pleasure where you can find it at my age.

Today I’m at a couple of places.

The first is with Rox Burkey. She is the co-author of the Techno-Thriller Enigma Series and other books. Rox has been involved in technology for several decades, working for various manufacturers and integrators. She enjoys working with all sorts of customers to make certain they are optimizing the customer experience with each interaction. She loves talking to people and learning about their issues, as well as helping them shape solutions. Rox invited me for a chat about writing, and you can go HERE to check it out. While you are there, drop in on her book pages. There is a ton of excitement on them.

The second is Story Empire. I found a list (Love them) of famous writers talking about writing. If you think you are alone in your angst this list may help. Come on over after your visit with Rox and me. Here is the link.

Today’s JohnKu talks about time. I hope you all have a glorious weekend.

Sometimes time drags on,

Suddenly there’s not enough . . .

WTF feeling.