Top Ten Things Not to Do at the opening of Grauman’s Chinese Theater in 1927

May 20, 2019June 2, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 66 Comments

Sunday marked the anniversary of the opening of Grauman’s Chinese Theater in 1927. The theater has been in continuous operation since then. The opening of the theater featured the premiere of Cecil B. DeMille’s King of Kings the story of the last five days of Jesus. If you have the luxury of traveling back to that time, take this list with you. It might save you a bit of trouble. Last week we talked about the first Academy Awards, so it looks like a return visit to Hollywood.

10 If you attend the opening, do not ask if you can buy a roll of Mentos. If you do, at best they will say, “never heard of them.” At worst, you have given away your time travel status. (Although you were too young or not on this Earth yet, Heike, but Mentos were introduced in the ’50s. Also, the theater did not start a concession stand until 1030. The usher has a funny look, and he is heading your way. Time to hit the Dusenburg.)

9 If you attend the opening, do not try to go under the velvet rope while Tiny the WWF champ is on usher duty. If you do, at best he will have taken his medicine today. At worst, he just came out of a briefing where the manager told the team to enforce the “no line cutting” policy at all costs. (I know it seems like you are pretty high up in the air, Heinz. Don’t worry, you will be coming down quickly after Tiny gets you outside. I would take a big breath if I were you.)

8 If you attend the opening, do not be overheard discussing the Star Wars premiere that was held here in 1977. If you do, at best the evesdropper will have no idea what you are talking about. At worst, the person listening is a conspiracy theorist and will report you to the cop standing by the entrance. (Good luck in explaining the term “Star Wars,” Hendrick. You might as well just hold out your hands and accept the cuffs with little fuss. You can always disappear later.)

7 If you attend the opening, do not ask that the volume be turned up. If you do, at best those around you will think you are joking. At worst, someone will get the idea that you are not from around here. (Since the film is silent, Henock you have raised suspicions. It presents a problem because you raised them during the crowd scene where the mob is getting out of control. Might be time to go.)

6 If you attend the opening, do not forget to check to see what Mary Pickford and Douglass Fairbanks look like. If you do, at best you’ll not run into them. At worst, one of them will ask for a light at the intermission, and you’ll have no idea who they are. (Now that you are on the front curb, Henrick you might recall they are not only present-day film stars but also part owners of the theater. Yeah, and both are narcissists as well. That’s why you were tossed out. Oh, and the fact you did not have a light helped make the decision to bounce you.)

5 If you attend the opening, do not leave your Dusenburg parked out front. If you do, at best the police will give you a warning. At worst, your precious antique will be hauled away to the impound lot. (Yes they did that back then, Henryk. Also, the front is reserved for Rolls Royces.)

4 If you attend the opening, do not attempt to pay for your ticket with your visa card. If you, at best the ticket taker will think you are joking. At worst, you will be trying to explain how a credit card can be used as money to the security guy who looks like Tiny’s brother. (Good luck explaining how the ATM backbone carries the financial information from the retailer to the bank. I think you are in hot water, Herald. The guy is talking about fraud charges. Oh, and keep that 21st-century money in your pocket too.)

3 If you attend the opening, do not sit behind the woman with the enormous hat. If you do, at best there will be another open seat. At worst, there are no seats, and you can’t see the subtitles on the screen. (Asking those around you what is happening will likely get a visit from the usher, Hermod. Even worse, a black eye.)

2 If you attend the opening, do not stand too close to a photographer if he is still using flash powder. If you do, at best, you might get dusty. At worst, you could catch a few sparks and lose your jacket. (There are some there using flashbulbs, Hesutu but those things tend to blow up and shoot glass everywhere. Needless to say, you don’t need to mention your iPhone flash.)

1 If you attend the opening, do not be tempted to take a couple of photos with your phone. If you do, at best you’ll cause a disruption. At worst, you’ll have people thinking you are from outer space. ( Go ahead and show Mary Pickford how lovely she is on your cell phone photo, Hiamovi. Once she comes to from fainting, maybe she won’t prosecute.)

Views of the Neighborhood – The New Lakeway Police Station

May 19, 2019May 19, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Last weekend the new Lakeway Police headquarters had it’s grand opening. Of course, the Producer and I could not miss the event. The station is a great example of Texas Hill Country architecture. I took tons of photos and culled them down to those presented here. There are still quite a few and I hope you won’t be bored.

Hard to capture the whole building. This will give you an idea.

Although it was threatening rain many folks showed up.

The view of the main entrance.

The tour line has formed. A few sprinkles have begun.

Hot dogs and donuts (of course)

This is the training room and situation room in an emergency. Yes it is big.

A shot of the front desk. (behind glass)

The Chief of Police office.

The daily briefing room.

Since the force operates on a 24/7 basis a food prep station is needed.

Before entering the interrogation area, Officers place their weapons in these lockers.

A conference room.

The 911 call center which serves Lakeway and Bee Cave communities.

The interior of a holding cell. All suspects are transfered to the county jail after processing so they don’t stay for long.

A cell door.

The drunk tank testing room.

A bench where a suspect is placed until transport can be arranged. The cuff pretty much guarantees the suspect will stay put.

The crime lab where evidence is prepared to be sent to the state for processing.

One of two brand new Harleys for the motorized team.

The walks are lined with dedication opportunities. Pictured are the officers of the Police union.

I hope you enjoyed the tour. As you can see the community is proud of it’s police department and have funded the best for them.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Adverb.”

May 18, 2019May 17, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

Lately time seems to fly. It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again already. Linda Hill has declaired this week’s prompt to be “adverb.” Here is what she said, “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “adverb.” Start your post with any adverb and just run with it. Have fun!” So you see what I did up front. Used the term lately to start off. I know you couldn’t care less but if you would like to join in and “have fun,” as Linda commands visit her blog and read how. It is very easy. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 18/19

“‘Certainly you’ll have fun’, they said.”

“Who said?”

“All those folks who passively sit and watch me suffer.”

“I’m sorry but I’m still not getting the gist of what you’re saying.”

“The writerly folks who do this prompt without even a thought.”

“Okay. You need to start over cause I’m lost.”

“You know I do a prompt weekly.”

“Yes to my detriment.”

“And I seemingly suffer doing it.”

“I have witnessed your angst, yes.”

“Others rarely have the same trouble as me.”

“How do you know?”

“Just look at how flawlessly they exicute the prompt.”

“I think you are too hard on yourself.”

“Hold on. I was the one who expressly gave instructions that I would use adverbs exclusively.”

“Yeah, I got the order.”

“You blatently used ‘too.”‘

“Huh?”

“In that sentence above, you particularily used the word ‘too”‘

“Okay.”

“Too is always an adverb. Certainly you knew that.”

“It slipped my mind. I have a few other things going on.”

“Well it really doesn’t matter. The bit is officially ruined.”

“Come on.”

“Remarkably It just proves my original premise.”

“Oh I think you have done enough to satisfy the prompt.”

“Shockingly you are still at it.”

“What?”

“Enough is an adverb. Surely you are trying to annoy me on purpose?”

“You know what would annoy you on purpose?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll tell me.”

“A knuckle sandwhich that I conviently have right here for you.”

“Salt directly in the wound.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

May 17, 2019May 18, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

The front yard deer — “But Mama. Those folks are having a TGIF celebration.”
“You don’t want to get near that house, sweetheart. An author lives there.”

Here it is Friday again. This week has been the week of notables. The fence guys arrived and finished the fence in three days. The pups can now cavort in safety with no sightline to deer. Twiggy’s bark-a-thons at the deer are now confined to only brief sightings from the house.

Our bed arrived after three months. So nice to be up off the floor. We need to accomodate Lucy’s arthritic hips with a bench. (Yes she needs to be on the bed) Twiggy’s life is unchanged. She could not get up when the bed was on the floor so she still gets a lift.

My desk arrived just yesterday. The office is pretty much done except for a bench. The dreaded futon is in there now but has an appointment with Goodwill.

The outdoor furnature arrived in eleven different packages on four different days. I mentioned to the FedEx guy, “I bet you hate us.” He responded with “Sometimes.” I had to laugh out loud and agree. He was stuggling with a box weighing 132 pounds (60Kilos)at the time. The fence guys had blocked the driveway so he was forced to go through gravel to get to the porch.

The call is out to two landscapers. More on that later.

Today’s JohnKu talks about after all the projects are done. I hope you have a great weekend.

The rush is over,

The termoil at last is done . . .

What do we do now?

Thursday – A Little Personal – More Changes

May 16, 2019May 15, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

“Why is Mom and Dad’s bed all torn apart, Lucy?”

“I’m not sure Little one. Let me call Mom.”

“Hey, Mom. What is going on here?”

“See the rug, Lucy. We are getting our bed today, and it will go with it.”

“By go, do you mean it’s leaving?”

“Ha, haha. No, I meant it is coordinated in color.”

“Coordinated in color. I wonder what that means? I think I’ll sit this one out.”

“Wow. Close your eyes for a minute and look what happens. Hey, Twiggy.”

“I hear you, Lucy. What do you want?”

“Come into the bedroom.”

“Amazing, Mom. Is this what you mean by coordinated?”

“Yes, sweetheart, it is.”

“Uh, Mom.”

“Yes, Lucy.”

“That bed looks pretty high. I’m not sure I can make it up there.”

“Don’t you worry. A foot bench is coming along with some other things for in here. You’ll be fine.”

“What about me, Mom?”

“Well, Little Potato. You’ll need to be lifted like always.”

“Great Mom. Lucy, come here quick. Look in the back. There is a fence there.”

“All those guys you have been giving a piece of your mind have been working for the last two days. Looks like another day or two, and we’ll have a secure yard.”

“Play tag with me?”

“No one will be able to stop me.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

May 15, 2019May 14, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

“Whatcha doing Little One.”
“Keeping an eye out for Friday.”
“Two days wait, Little Potato.”

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week Larry and Andrew made the decision to go to California to see if they can place Ned and Janice together at anytime prior or after Rafferty’s death. (I hope all that make sense to you.). They have to fly into Reno airport and then drive to South Lake Tahoe. Let’s join the pair as they head out of the Reno airport toward South Lake Tahoe.

“So, I’m looking at the mapping app on my phone, and we have an hour and fifteen minutes.”

“That on turn by turn Andrew?”

“Yup. Oh, look. We go through Carson City.”

“What the big deal about Carson City.”

“Aw, Larry. You have been left out of history. Gold rush, lawlessness, gambling, houses of ill repute.”

“Not my every day hobbies, Andrew.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pull a lever or two on the way.”

“We are going to hit 580 through Carson City which will take us around. Besides, there is plenty of opportunity in South Lake Tahoe to do any of these items you mentioned.”

“I suppose you are right.”

“I think the faster we start nosing around, the faster we can get some answers.”

“Don’t forget we also have a Sandusky case to solve.”

“Don’t remind me. I’m in one case at time mode right now.”

“Funny how the Sandusky thing leads us into the Rafferty thing.”

“I still think if we solve Rafferty, we will be onto a solution to Sandusky.”

“Hey, Larry. You notice that black SUV behind us.”

“Yeah what about it?”

“It left the airport the same time we did.”

“There are a lot of people going to South Lake Tahoe. Might be a tour.”

“I only see two guys in the front seat.”

“Okay. Let’s see if they follow us onto 580. Here is the on-ramp.”

“Yup they are behind the two cars behind us.”

“I would quit turning around, Andrew. If it is suspicious, they will know you made them. It is better knowing we are followed that to tip them off. If we are being followed, they would just have another car fill in.”

“You’re the boss.”

“I’ll keep tabs on them in the mirrors. Looks like they dropped back a couple of cars.”

“I like that idea. I’ve seen too many SUV bumps smaller car off the highway movies. Why did you get a Prius again?”

“To save money and reduce our carbon footprint.”

“Right now, I would rather have a Hummer at six miles to the gallon.”

“Andrew. You have to stop worrying. If and that’s a big if, these guys are following us, they’re not going to do anything with all these cars around. Oh, oh.”

“What do you mean by oh, oh?”

“They just moved up. In fact, it looks like they are going to come alongside us.”

“We don’t want that do we?”

“No, I don’t think so. I want you to brace yourself. I may have to make a quick stop. I hope the guy behind us is awake today.”

“Whattya mean a quick stop.”

“Well, one way to avoid those guys is to slam on the breaks when they get alongside. They go by we pull off the road.”

“Pull off? Where?”

“See that access road over to our right?”

‘Yeah.”

“I’ll pull onto the shoulder then up and over the berm there and onto that road. Should be a piece of cake.”

“That is a pretty good drop to the access road.”

“Yeah trust me. We’ll slide down. Okay, get ready. Here they come. Oh shit.”

“Shit?”

“They have weapons. They are getting ready to fire. Hold on Andrew.”

“I can see them now. Man are they ugly looking.’

“Get down.”

“Oh my God, Larry.”

“Hang on.”

“Get down or hang on? I can’t do both.”

“Uh Damn.”

“What the hell, Larry. You’ve been hit.”

“Here we go.”

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #217 by Keith Channing

May 14, 2019May 13, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

“Mmm mafmum dros emufff.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said I think I’ve had enough.”

“Aw come on. You like my omelet.”

“Yes, but I have had an omelet every meal for the past five weeks.”

“Yes and look at you. A big bird.”

“I know, and I’m thankful for your care.”

“Yeah, you were a mess. You were naked and cold on the ground.”

“I don’t know how I got there. I can’t imagine my mama tossing me out.”

“Sometimes when there are a lot of hatchlings the nest gets crowded. A couple of toss and turns and there you are.”

“S’wonder I didn’t break my neck.”

“I couldn’t put you back in the nest. It was too high. Anyway, you are healthy now.”

“I would say so. You have done a nice job.”

“Aw. Thanks. So back to the omelet.”

“Well, I know you try to avoid meat. I, on the other hand, need meat.”

“Meat? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A stray worm, cricket, or spider would go well.”

“OMG. The thought makes me gag.”

“Yeah and the thought makes me dream of sinking my beak into one of those wiggly ones.”

“I guess I could go into the garden and try to find a worm. Would that be okay?”

“It would be heaven. One more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“A nice Chianti and some fava beans would go well with that.”

“I named you Hannibal, but you don’t have to get carried away.”

“It was fun though, wasn’t it? Clarice”

Ten Things Not to Do at the First Academy Awards in 1929

May 13, 2019May 12, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

This week marks the anniversary of the first Academy Awards which were held in 1928. Time to get your time travel suit on and attend the ceremony. If you are going, here is a list of the Top Ten Things Not to Do. Hopefully, it will keep you out of trouble and prevent a tear in the time continuum. Have a good time but be careful out there.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Academy Awards.

10 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not put on makeup in preparation for the filming of the even. If you do, at best folks will think you are a part-time clown. At worst, you’ll cause the host Douglass Fairbanks to ask security to escort you out. (Since the first filming of the awards did not happen until 1930, your makeup looks so out of place, Hanes the host thought you were wearing a mask. There’s a lot of jewelry to be worried about.)

9 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not try to sneak in at the door guarded by Tiny the WWF champ. If you do, at best Tiny will gently bar your entrance. At worst, Tiny has been hoping to try his new clothesline punch on a live body. (Now that you feel like your head is missing, Hansel here is a ticket. Now pick yourself up and try another door.)

8 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not think you can arrive fashionably late. If you do, at best the hors d’oeuvres will be all gone. At worst, since the ceremony is only fifteen minutes long you may miss it. (After all the trouble to get here, Hargrove you would think you could arrive on time. Yeah sure your coordinates were off. That’s what they all say.)

7 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not mention to anyone that you hope Broadway Melody wins Best Picture. If you do, at best no one will listen to you. At worst, your time travel will be outed as Broadway melody was next year’s winner. (Now that you are in handcuffs, Harkin it is time to reflect on the quality of your research. BTW the winner is called Outstanding Picture. Best Picture was a change made years later.)

6 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not comment on the fact that there is no sound with the film clips. If you do, at best folks will think you are making a joke. At worst, people will begin to wonder why you think silent films are an oddity. (You see Warner Brothers just produced the first talkie,Harme, The Jazz Singer. No one is sure sound is here to stay. In any case time you got up to go. Here come the guards again.)

5 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not order Merlot with your dinner. If you do, at best the server will not understand you. At worst, the somilier will wonder how you heard of a wine that is not yet popular in the US. (You’ve done it again, Hasani. Talk fast and tell them you were clearing your throat before the guards arrive. Just ask for a glass of red wine and maybe the whole thing will blow over.)

4 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not ask for a doggy bag. If you do, at best the server will be confused. At worst, those around you will be so grossed out you’ll be left at the table alone. (It seems everyone misunderstood your request and thought they had been served dog food. Not sure you can correct this one in time, Hassel. Good luck. Here comes the chef. Yes, he has a fairly large knife.)

3 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not ask for an Irish Coffee after dinner. If you do, at best the server will ask you how to make it. At worst, along with your other strange habits, folks will believe you are from outer space. (I’m not sure, Havika. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for you to attend. Irish coffee wasn’t invented until the 1950’s. Also wearing that Apple watch has folks a little nervious.)

2 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not complain about the missing red carpet. If you do, at best folks will think you’re just odd. At worst as you start to explain the antics of film stars on the red carpet there will be a recognition of your strangeness. (Since the red carpet was introduced to the Academy Awards in 1961 in Santa Monica, is it any wonder people are slowly backing away from you, Hazen?)

1 If you are attending the first Academy Awards, do not roll up to the front door of the Roosevelt Hotel in your Delorian. If you do, at best you’ll cause the valet person wet pants. At worst, you’ll cause the rest of the guests to flee in panic. (All are sure you are an alien invasion, Heaton. You need to get home quick.)

Views of the Neighborhood. Lakeway Park 25th Anniversary

May 12, 2019October 5, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

Lakeway Park is celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary. As is fitting there was cake, kite flying, kayaking, and paddleboarding. The day was beautiful with temperatures in the high seventies. Come walk with me.

The first aid tent which oversees the kayak and paddleboard lending.

A couple of grandparents enjoying the day.

Kites are in the air.

Getting ready to launch.

Gotta have ice cream.

Shave ice and water too.

A tent by the Colin’s Hope organization whose mission is to educate on the dangers of drowning. The organization was founded by the family of Colin Holst who tragically lost his life in a swimming pool at age four in 2007.

A beautiful American Eagle in flight

Lovely bird.

A grandmother providing coaching on aerodynamics. The tea tent is in the background.

I hope you enjoyed the tour.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “Strain.”

May 11, 2019May 10, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is “strain.” Here is what Linda Hill says about the prompt this week. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “strain.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!” Well you read her instructions. If you would like to participate visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.