Top Ten Things Not to Do at Janis Joplin’s First Live Concert in 1966

~ John W. Howell

 

Janis Joplin

Since today is the 53rd anniversary of Janis Joplin’s first live concert held in the Avalon Ballroom in San Francisco, I thought it would be fun to go there. Of course, we need a list of things not to do to make sure we don’t make a mistake that could cause trouble later.  Time travel can be tricky, so every precaution taken is worth the time and trouble.  I hope you enjoy the list and if you should happen to end up at the concert, I hope you stay out of trouble.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at Janis Joplin’s First Live Concert in 1966

10 If you go to the concert, do not accept little squares of litmus paper from someone named Tim Leary. If you do, at best, he’ll give you a placebo. At worst, you’ll end up on the ride of a lifetime. (Have you not read of the LSD experiments, Hovsep? I hope you enjoy the view of Jupiter from way up there.)

9 If you go to the concert, do not attempt to convince Tiny the WWF champ that you are a good friend of Janis and deserve a visit backstage. If you do, at best Tiny has not met Tim Leary yet. At worst, he and Tim have been conducting side experiments on the treatment of Tiny’s aggressive behavior. (Whelp. Another experiment gone off the rails, Hrimfaxi. Looks like Tiny thinks you are a character from a Godzilla movie and intends to help you through that brick wall. This may hurt so get ready to call 911. Oh, sorry there is no 911 in 1966.)

8 If you go to the concert, do not start waving your cell phone in time to the music. If you do, at best those around you will be too preoccupied to notice. At worst, the security team made up of the Oakland Chapter of the Hells Angels will help you out. (It looks like none of these guys care about the phone, Hrut. They just enjoy pounding folks and throwing them out the back door. They thought your phone was a flash camera and delighted in seeing you airborne. Yeah, that landing could be rough.)

7 If you go to the concert, do not yell out a request for “Me and Bobby McGee.” If you do, at best no one will have heard of it. At worst, you’ll give your self away as a time traveler since the song by Janis was released in 1971. (Here comes the Hells Angels again, Hud. This time just lay back, and maybe they will crowd surf you to the exit.)

6 If you go to the concert, do not inhale the smoke that is all around you. If you do, at best it will be a weakened batch of inferior weed. At worst, you will be on the breathing end of some Maui Wowie, and you can see the lights dimming quickly. (No there are no munchies available, Hughson. You’ll just have to deal with the side effects. No, that person is not talking about you. Paranoia is another side effect.)

5 If you go to the concert, do not drink from that bottle of Southern Comfort being passed around. If you do, at best it is Southern Comfort, Janis’ favorite drink. At worst it is some homemade concoction that is guaranteed to make you lose all inhibitions. (Okay, Hugues you need to put your pants back on. No one is interested in your Sponge Bob SquarePants boxers. They don’t even know Sponge Bob since the premiere of the show was in 1999.)

4 If you go to the concert, do not get overly excited to see the Grateful Dead sitting in for a set. If you do, at best people will think you are a rabid fan. At worst, you will raise some suspicions since the band is a regular feature at the Avalon. (Be sure and not spill the beans about how popular they will become, Hula. You’ll only attract the Angels again.)

3 If you go to the concert, do not try and sing along with Janis. If you do, at best, you will be ignored. At worst, those around you will beg you to stop and then call security. (It was not so much you sang off-key Hyacinth. it was the fingernails on the chalkboard tone that got to them.)

2 If you go to the concert, do not decide to visit in the moshpit. If you do, at best everyone is smaller than you. At worst, before you know it, you will be jumping up and down in time with everyone hoping to get a breath. (If only you had had the list with you. Hyman. You could have avoided all this. You say you might faint? Oh I wouldn’t do that if I were you.)

1 If you go to the concert, do not forget to bring back a program. If you do, at best you’ll simply forget what went on. At worst, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to have a rare souvenir of that one-time event. (Not to mention the possibility of selling it on E-Bay, Hawiovi. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.)

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

62 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do at Janis Joplin’s First Live Concert in 1966”

  1. You’ve brought me back in time to when I saw Janis perform in San Diego. What a powerful voice, what a sad figure. I don’t remember a program, but it sure would be special to have one. 🙂

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  6. I once knew a fellow who went to high school with Janis. As he put it, “None of us were much surprised with how it ended.” If you travel back to that concert, you’d do well not to arrive in a Mercedes. Janis might think you brought it for her, and have Tiny confiscate it.

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  7. John,

    I wouldn’t be eating or drinking ANYTHING at this concert, I know that much. My preferred method is bourbon.

    On that last one, about the program . . . do you think they’d notice if I took multiple programs? Like . . . a box full of ’em?

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  10. When I saw the title of this list, John, I knew we were in for a treat! I wish I had been at that first Janis concert! I am a huge fan. 🙂 I probably would have wound up violating at least half of this “not to do” list! 🙂

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  12. I think we’d have some trouble NOT inhaling SOMETHING from the air back there 😉
    Nope, I would not be tempted to take anything from anyone… doesn’t mean I wouldn’t bring my own 😉
    Excellent list, John.
    Oh, and no way I can’t NOT sing along…

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      1. Oh yeah. I’d be belting it out… probably off-key but who would hear? Well, besides those right beside me but I’m counting on them singing along too!

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  13. I would love to go back in time and be at that concert. I would be sure not to send tweets about it or post pictures on Facebook. As tempting as it would be. Loved Janice!

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  14. Yes you need a lighter over the cell phone for sure. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to a sea of cell phones in the crowd. My stomach got a bit queasy thinking of Southern Comfort:)

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  18. My kids made my day the other day. They told me that “Piece of My Heart” is the song they identify with me. It’s “my song.” Everybody in our family has a song, but I didn’t realize this one was mine! Woot!

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      1. I was pleased. In grad school I had a poster of Janis over my desk. I remember a poem published around that time about Janis. I need to go find that . . . .

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  21. Oh, I loved this! Had been a west coast girl, I would have been there. I reluctantly gave our son my Big Brother and the Holding Company record album. Well done, John.

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        2. They’re not expensive, John. Mine is a portable Crosley-like one. You will love reliving your albums, even every scratch. Listening to your music on the radio or iPod is definitely not the same as your old albums. That’s why I won’t part with mine… except when my child begs for a good Janis Joplin one. 🙂

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  23. Thanks for this one. It brought back some memories.

    Missed seeing Janis. But I did see the Dead and Jefferson Airplane (multiple times) for free in Golden Gate Park. One night I needed a place to crash and a guy associated with the Dead took me to a small office/warehouse and said, “You can sleep on that.” He was pointing to a black box made of steel. It was about eight feet tall and about as wide as a double bed. I asked the guy what it was and was told, “A music synthesizer.” I had never heard of one before, but I didn’t want to come off as stupid, so I didn’t ask any questions. I got up on it by the means of a convenient ladder and had a good night’s sleep. I reckon those things have gotten a mite smaller in the intervening years.

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    1. I remember those big components. All tubes and hot as hell. I never saw Janis either. I had just begun my first job and had to work with no vacation time to run off to Woodstock although I wanted to do that very thing. I visited San Francisco during the summer of love but was in meetings the whole time.

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