Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 83 by Keith Krates –

June 28, 2016June 27, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

I love prompts and in Keith’s words. “Using this photo (Below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – for reasons I have yet to fathom, pingbacks don’t seem to be working.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here’s the photo

Kreative Kue

“Where is everybody going?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, but since I’m in this crowd, I’d like to know our destination.”

“You didn’t see that lion back there?”

“Lion? Hell no I didn’t see a lion.”

“Well, that’s nothing. There is an elephant as well.”

“No kidding. They get away from the zoo?”

“I guess. We are all running for our lives.”

“This whole pack is running away from one lousy lion?”

“You want to be the one to stop him?”

“Well, no. I just think if someone would take charge then we could all turn on him and dare him to attack us.”

“Good plan in theory. Why don’t you ask for volunteers.”

“Ha ha ha very amusing.”

“By the way what kind of shoes are you wearing.”

“Nikes, why?”

“Oh, I just wondered. I think mine are faster.”

“So you think you’ll be able to outrun the lion?”

“See that’s just it. I’m not worried about outrunning the lion.”

“What are you worried about then?”

“I figure I don’t have to outrun the lion I just have to outrun you.”

“Yeah, very funny.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do If You’re an Islander

June 27, 2016June 26, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

Islander

The inspiration for this list is the way in which non-islanders view those who live on an island. Since I have done both, I suppose I’m qualified to give advice to Islanders about how to keep non-islanders from viewing them as weird. Well, islanders are weird but at least maybe, with this list, they could appear less so.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You are an Islander

10 If you are an Islander, do, not tell everyone “It’s five o’clock somewhere” when you are taking a drink. If you do, at best they will think you need to justify your drinking habit. At worst, you’ll get a full-scale intervention. (That Pina Colada for breakfast sure cut the fog didn’t it, though?)

9 If you are an Islander, do not use the word “chill” ever. If you do, at best your uptight non-islander friends will take offense. At worst, you might trigger a psychotic event with someone who has reached the end of the advice road. (Wow, where did that fist come from?)

8 If you are an Islander, do not criticize the frozen shrimp served in the non- islander’s appetizer. If you do, your host will no doubt wish you had stayed home. At worst, you will get some advice on where you can store your fresh shrimp boat and all. (Hint, it’s a place where the sunshine is at a minimum)

7 If you are an Islander, do not attend events in flip-flops. If you do, at best most will think you rude. At worst, you may be asked to find a more sanitary mode of footwear. (The wedding invitation said nothing about footwear did it, Clyde?)

6 If you are an Islander, do not think all furniture can withstand suntan oil staining. If you do, at best those you visit will have a permanent remembrance of your visit on their floral print furniture. At worst, you might be presented with the cleaning tab for that spot left behind. (Why so mad? You didn’t mean it. Right Clod?)

5 If you are an Islander, do not drive on the non-island freeway. If you do, at best you’ll be assaulted by honking horns. At worst, you may find yourself, tired, confused, and arrested for going thirty-five miles an hour in a sixty-five zone. (Thirty-five seems fast enough for a human to travel, huh Ferd?)

4 If you are an Islander, do not refer to everyone and everything as “off island.” If you do, at best you need to remember you are “off island” as well. At worst, someone may accuse you of using derogatory terms and take offense. (Guess who the big guy crossing the room with clenched fists is coming to talk to?)

3 If you are an Islander, do not show up for a meeting or interview wearing shorts. If you do, at best no one will take you seriously. At worst some will think you are avoiding the dress convention and assume you are a rebellious individual. (You must know how “rebellious” and “individual” traits play in organized commerce. Ah well, unemployment checks are better than nothing)

2 If you are an Islander, do not ignore the sign, “No shoes, no shirt, no service.” If you do, at best you won’t get a table. At worst, you will need to find another way to eat since that sign seems to be everywhere. (Hot dogs over an open fire are tasty Rube)

1 If you are an Islander, do not fail to shower before you leave the island. If you do, at best you won’t see the wild looks of those you pass. At worst, you will spend some lonely days until you get back. (We know you just forgot and besides a dip in the Gulf takes care of everything.)

Views of the Neighborhood

June 26, 2016June 25, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

While walking the two dogs yesterday, I was struck by the amount of traffic on the beach. There was nothing special going on, so it was a bit of a shock to see the number of folks out for a day by the Gulf. I took a photo or two which I will share. My wife let me know that I’ve done enough beach pictures, but I think you won’t mind.

Gulf beach

Notice all the seagulls. They whipped past me at about ear high, and I couldn’t catch them with my camera.

This next photo shows my two babies on the walkway. You can see the cars behind them.

Boxers on the walkway

Bailey is the dark brindle and Lucy in white. Bailey loves to jump up on the seat to look out over the beach. Lucy is just as happy staying on the deck. In the afternoon they don’t go on the beach but are content just to look at it. The weather is just too hot for them down on the sand. In the morning they have a mile walk on the sand which they love. Lucy is continually chasing sand crabs, and Bailey is constantly chasing Lucy.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Drink.”

June 25, 2016June 24, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

It is Stream of Cconsciousness Saturday again. This week’s prompt is “Drink.” Linda Hill says we can use it as a verb or a noun or any other way we can think of using. If you would like to join in the fun, please go to Linda’s blog and find out how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2016/06/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2516/

“Oh, this is an easy one. Drink.”

“You must be nuts. I don’t think drink will be easy.”

“Sure it is. I’ll start. I’ll have a drink of water please.”

“What the hell was that form of drink?”

“It was a noun, you idiot. The drink was a person, place or thing.”

“Oh, I see. So if I said, ‘Here drink this,’ it would be a verb.”

“Now you are cooking with gas. Try this, ‘All you can drink for a buck.”‘

“Um. I would guess a verb, but I’m not sure.”

“You are right. How about this one, ‘He’s a tall drink of water.”‘

“Easy. Still a noun.”

“Man, you’re a genius. Have a drink on me.”

“Noun. Right?”

“Yes but we are finished with the drink grammar lesson.”

“Adjective.”

“Okay stop with calling out the use of drink.”

“Why don’t you stop using the word?”

“Maybe I’ll switch to drank?”

“Past tense of drink.”

“How about drunk.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

June 24, 2016June 23, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

TGIF

Friday is here once again and with it the promise to lay those burdens down for a bit of rest. This week was marked with a whole bunch of nothing. All I managed to accomplish was seven blog posts and staying ahead of the e-mail and Twitter feeds. I did not pen (er type) a word on any WIP nor did I edit a single line. This has to be the first time in over four years that I have not added a thing to a piece of work.

I have been involved in another project doing organized commerce kind of work so I know I have an excuse. I feel like I have ignored one of my kids or something. I have been waiting around for the editor to return Our Justice so I can begin formatting it for publication, so I think I have given myself an excuse for avoiding my other projects. I gotta stop that behavior now. *Slap* “Thanks, I needed that.”

Today’s JohnKu talks about excuses. I hope you enjoy it.

Tough project ahead,

Hard to begin the first step. . .

Need excuses fast.

Thursday – A little Personal

June 23, 2016June 21, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

Commas

Hi. My name is John, and it has been over four weeks since I last eliminated a comma from my writing.

This statement may sound like something I would say at a comma avoidance anonymous meeting. I don’t mean to keep eliminating commas, and I think it just might be a disease or something.

I tell ya, I try to not avoid commas. I work hard at not avoiding the use of commas and then before I know it I avoid one comma, and I’m right back to where I started. It escalates into a nightmare of avoiding comma’s until I’m in a position where I don’t remember how to use a comma at all.

When I get to this point, I know its time to go back into comma rehab. There are some excellent facilities around the country where you can find peace while you overcome your comma avoidance addiction. The best part is that the institutions tend to keep you away from the critical evaluations of those who notice missing commas.

Of course, within yourself, one has the capability to decide if the comma avoidance addition is going to control one’s life or one is going to control it.

So, I will keep trying to stay ahead of the addiction and keep the comma avoidance prayer in my mind. God help me control the commas I can control, forget those I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

June 22, 2016June 21, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

college 6-21

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left poor dumb Ben sipping soup that Trudy admitted was, “An old family recipe with my special touch.” We all begged Ben not to drink the soup but like any person with high affiliation needs he totally ignored us. He has some reason for wanting to please Mrs. Worthe, and I don’t think its the fear of losing a digit. Let’s go back and see if Ben is still with us.

“So Ben are you finished with the soup?”
“Uh. Soup? What soup?”
“The soup I gave you not twenty minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry, but I think you may have me confused with another patient.”
“This is not a hospital you dolt. What’s that on your chest?”
“Oh. It appears to be a bowl of something with a spoon in it.”
“That’s soup you, idiot. I just gave you that soup.”
“I’m sorry but have we met?”
“What are you trying to pull you little worm. You know very well who I am.”
“Please, Mrs… uh…Miss…uh. I really can’t recall your name, and I don’t recognize your face.”
“Don’t bull shit me you jerk-off. Do you remember your thumb?”
“My thumb. Why yes it is right here. See.”
“Bah. You’re not going to get away with this act. There was nothing in that soup to cause you to lose your memory.”
“So what was in the soup?”
“A little something to help you relax.”
“Relax? Like what little something?”
“A little soothing syrup is all.”
“Tell me what it is.”
“Why the hell should I?”
“I dumped the soup under the bed. You are a despicable human being, and I will punch you in the face if you don’t tell me.”
“Oh, brave man huh?”
“What was in the soup you old bag.”
“Let go of me, Ben. It was cocaine.”
“Cocaine? You dumb bitch. Cocaine makes me infuriated. So angry I can’t control myself.”
“Ben you’re hurting me. You said you dumped the soup.”
“Yeah but I had that spoonful, and that could be enough to make me want to kill you.”
B-Ben. I c-can’t breathe. P-please, stop. P-please.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #82 by Keith Channing

June 21, 2016June 20, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

Another photographic prompt by Keith Channing. Let me tell you what is going on in his own words.

“Using this photo(below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – for reasons I have yet to fathom, pingbacks don’t seem to be working.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here’s the photo.

Kreative Kue # 82

“Hey look at that Pradeep.”

“We must go over there. I think that guy has some animals tied to that motorcycle.”

“You are right. if there is anything I can’t stand is seeing an animal chained up.”

“Yeah, I want to chain up anyone who does that to an animal.”

“Do you see any water dish over there?”

“No. I think you’re right. I don’t see water, and the sun is so hot. What’s the matter with that guy?”

“He’s not even there. Let’s get a bowl of water.”

“Good idea and maybe some food.”

“By the looks of those two, we could be the food. I think the water will be enough.”

“We will need a stick to push the bowl close to them.”

“Excellent idea, Pradeep. I see a tree limb over there. We’ll use that to push the dish.”

“There’s water spout and a bowl. We are now in business.”

“Be careful with that water. We need to keep it in the bowl.”

“Hey! What are you two doing?”

“We could ask you the same Mr. Animal abuser.”

“Animal abuser? What are you talking about?”

“You’ve got this lion and tiger chained to that bike.”

“Yeah so?”

“Don’t you think it is cruel to treat them this way? No water as well.”

“Are you dopes for real? These are stuffed animals. I chained them so no one would take off with them.”

“Stuffed? Oh my goodness.Pradeep it looks like we made a mistake.”

“Speak for yourself. I still think it’s cruel. I’m going to set them free.”

“Fifty bucks each and they are all yours. Otherwise don’t make me call the police.”

“Might be a good idea. Call ’em.”

“Uh, Pradeep. We need to go.”

Ten Things Not to Do When You Have a Honey-Do List

June 20, 2016June 19, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

Honey Do List

The inspiration for this list has been a number of years of being the recipient of lists of things that needed fixing. I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you receive a honey-do list, do not laugh at the items on the list. If you do, at best you’ll get one of those looks that turn brave thoughts to flee instincts. At worst, you’ll have to try to defend the undefendable fact that you haven’t kept up with normal maintenance. (The couch is pretty lumpy wouldn’t you say?)

9 If you receive a honey-do list, do not take shortcuts to complete the list. If you do, At best the inspection will produce some embarrassing deficiencies. At worst, you find yourself in the do-over mode, and it will take longer than the original mode would have taken. (Was that game you rushed to see worth it, Buster?)

8 If you receive a honey-do list, do not try to substitute available materials for those that require a store trip. If you do, at best the fix will last a month or two. At worst, you’ll find at the conclusion of the job definite evidence that you blew it.(How do feel about a bedroom full of water? Bunky)

7 If you receive a honey-do list, do not try to do it if you don’t know how. If you do, at best you will need to call a pro to complete the work. At worst, you will need to call a pro to fix what you messed up and then finish the work. (Feel good about paying twice what the project would have cost in the first place?)

6 If you receive a honey-do list, do not call your friends to help. If you do, at best they will all but prevent the job from being completed. At worst, none of them will have the skills needed but will make an attempt to help with questionable results. (You did incur beer and food costs in addition to the repair of the repair costs, huh, Bud?)

5 If you receive a honey-do list, do not ignore the instructions as to the desired outcome. If you do, at best the job will never be satisfactory. At worst, your usual roundabout way of doing things will add time and cost to the project. (Maybe it wasn’t necessary to dig that hole and build a foundation for the flower box after all, right?)

4 If you receive a honey-do list, do not fail to finish each item. If you do, at best you will appear to be someone who needs planning help. At worst, you will be faced with someone who has been hired to complete what you start. (Man those labor costs are killers aren’t they?)

3 If you receive a honey-do list, do not make excuses for not doing the items. If you do, at best your excuses will fall on deaf ears. At worse, the excuses will be used as justification for engaging Beaucoup Bucks & Sons contracting.(What’s in a name? Whoa!)

2 If you receive a honey-do list, do not put off getting to work on it immediately. If you do, at best the list will only get longer. At worst, there will be a growing feeling that you will never get the list done which will culminate in an introduction to Beaucoup Bucks & Sons. (Man those sons sure have dirty shoes don’t they?)

1 If you receive a honey-do list, do not fail to report results of projects completed. If you do, at best there will be no record of accomplishment. At worst, you will not have confirmation that the job is complete, and it may just show up again. (You have to demonstrate you can get things done, Buford.)

Sunday – Views of the Neighborhood

June 19, 2016June 18, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

Today’s views of the neighborhood will begin at The Wetlands Educational Center (rainy day photo)

This first photo (taken in the rain) is one 0f a sign explaining that the six posts on the next photo are on the compass points to six other Estuary Research Science Areas in the US.

wet lands

Here are the posts and monument.

Six posts

This next photo is one of the Animal Rehabilitation Keep (ARK) where the rescued marine animals recover. Those Pelicans could be old patients who refuse to leave (I’m not sure, but that’s what they look like to me)

ARK

Here is a closer shot.

ARK

This sign leads me to believe that smoking of other substances is not forbidden.

Tobacco free zone

There is a beautiful granite jetty all along the science center. The center is to our back. The canopies in the background are for people fishing off the jetty. That red thing is a parasailer.

Jetty