Tag: fiction favorites

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

Funny college meme

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week Mrs. Worthe struck a deal with Ben to keep his mouth shut about the explosive carryings on which included not seeing Alexis anymore. Ben gave her his word he would say goodbye to Alexis and just when we were about to relax the doctor comes in and announces the priest is here. We need to go back there and continue this drama.

“Hello, I’m Father Lightfoot.”
“Father what?”
“Lightfoot ma’am. I’m a full-blooded Apache.”
“OMG, this can’t get much better. My name is Worthe, Trudy Worthe.”
“Ah yes, I’ve heard about you. May I call you Trudy?”
“You may call me what my daughter calls me. Mrs. Worthe.”
“Oh, okay. Mrs. Worthe it is. Tell me Mrs. Worthe is this your son Ben?”
“No not even close Father. This boy is my daughter’s boyfriend Ben. Or I should say, ex-boy friend.”
“Ex-boyfriend? That’s strange. Why are you here then?”
“I’m a compassionate person Father. Ben is very special to me, and I don’t want him hurt.”
“How noble Mrs. Worthe. Tell me Ben. Why did you want to see a priest.”
“Well, Father, to be honest, I thought I was going to die and needed the last rights.”
“I see my son. Do you still think you are going to die?”
“No Father. I believe the doctor has seen to it that I’m going to make it.”
“Well let’s say a prayer to that end then. Tell me my son when was your last confession?”
“I’m Jewish Father. We confess every hour.”
“Oh. Well, I guess a prayer wouldn’t be out of the question even so.”
“Thank you, father.”
“Let’s pray. Dear lord, please visit upon Ben and help him with his wounds. Help him overcome the physical and well as the mental wounds of his young life. See him sadly through the times of trouble and bless him daily so that he may see the eternal joy of your grace.”
“Father I need help.”
“Ben you better be careful.”
“Father this woman is threatening to cut off my thumb if I tell anyone about her illegal handling of explosives.”
“Ben you are on thin ice now. I suggest you shut up now.”
“Mrs. Worthe what is Ben saying.”
“Father Lighthead this is none of your business.”
“It’s Lightfoot, and I think it is very much part of my business. This young man is calling for help.”
“Look at him. The hospital staff is concerned enough to tie him down. They think he is out of his mind.”
“That may well be Mrs. Worthe. He does deserve to tell his story. Tell me my son. What is bothering you so much.”
“I just told you, Father. This woman is the devil.”
“I see my son. Yes, I see now.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #72

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

Another Tuesday and time for Kreative Kue by Keith Channing. If you wonder what’s going on here, let me have Keith explain. Just so you know I’m making his mouth move. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – for reasons I have yet to fathom, pingbacks don’t seem to be working.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo;

Kreative Kue #72

Drama by John W. Howell © 2016

“Let me step back a bit and take a look.”

“Okay, but hurry up. This concrete is cold.”

“Ah, I see a problem.”

“What problem?”

“The outline has a protrusion to the right. You need to bring your leg up more.”

“Leg? Which leg?”

“Well, your right one of course. I would hurry I think the police will be back very shortly.”

“This was all your idea. Let’s lie down on the body outline you said. It will knock the fraternity brothers off their feet you said. Now you are being picky about a leg?”

“Okay, I’ll take the photo. By the way that ceremonial sword you are holding looks fake.”

“It’s supposed to look fake. It’s a joke for heaven’s sake. Who would be lying in the road with the Mystical Knights of the Sea sword sticking out of them anyway?”

“Yeah, but a little blood wouldn’t hurt and can’t you put that sword in such a way, so it doesn’t look like you are holding it?”

“No short of really sticking it in me I can’t.”

“Also, you left your keys on the mat there. That looks stupid.”

“Alright, I guess this was not such a good idea after all. Let’s go. I’m going to get up.”

“No don’t move I’ll take the shot.”

“Whoops. I slipped.”

“Hold still.”

“Do we have any more whiskey?”

“I don’t think so why?”

“I could use a drink of something.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I stuck myself with the sword.”

“OMG. Let me get a shot of that. Now that looks real.”

 

Sunday – Views Around the Neighborhood

~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

As you may know, last week was the last of the fifty-two views of the Gulf. By popular demand, that feature was retired in favor of some random shots of what I’m calling the neighborhood. Of course, I don’t anticipate photos of my neighbors and their houses. I do think the concept of the neighborhood could expand into the town proper and surrounding environs. With that in mind here is the first of three photos.

 

The bird in the photo is a Heron we have named Peggy. In this picture, she looks like she is moving but she is standing still. Peggy broke her leg about three years ago and all efforts to capture and help her have been for naught. As you can see, she does just fine, and we are pleased to have her on our section of beach. She doesn’t like tourists so much but who can blame her.

 

Here is a shot of another Heron who has decided to use our walkover as a lookout post. He used to sit on the markers but feels the walkover gives him some additional altitude so is much preferred. By the way, I haven’t really discussed his perching preference with him, so I’m not sure of his reasons. Since I’m a fiction writer when I’m not sure, I make stuff up.

 

When I went to interview him, he decided I had a sinister look about me and took to wing. I guess we will have to be satisfied with my reason for using the walkway sign.

Hope you all have a lovely week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ha”

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

Stream Of Consciousness Saturday

It is Saturday and time for some more Stream of Consciousness. Linda Hill has picked the prompt “ha.” In her benevolence, she is allowing the use of ‘ha” straight up or as the starting part of a word or words. If you would like to participate in the fun, go to Linda’s blog and see how. Don’t be afraid it only hurts for a little while.https://lindaghill.com/2016/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-916/

Ha by John w. Howell © 2016

“Harold come here.”

“Okay, Hap. What do you want?”

“Did you read the latest hair-raising story ion the internet?”

No. I have better things to do with my time than hang onto a computer all day.”

“Happens there have been aliens spotted in Washington.”

“Well, that’s happy news. Maybe some will take over Congress.”

“I’m serious. I haven’t left this screen all day. It is horrifying.”

“Hand me the laptop. What are you talking about?”

“Look at the beings on the mall. They look like they are getting ready to fight. Look at that hag with the pitchfork.”

“I see them Hap. It looks like one of those zombie movies. Look at the guy with the hat.”

“You think it’s a movie? I have to admit I have a computer habit. Could I have been sucked in?”

“I hate to tell you, but yes. You’ve been sucked in. This film is a B-movie made in the sixty’s.”

“No wonder I didn’t know it. It was made before I was hatched.” (allowance for no fixing mistakes)

“I also think you were pretty hasty in your conclusion.”

“Don’t be a Harpy. I get it.”

“Okay, no harm done.”

“I hated the sixty’s.”

“Time to halt this conversation.”

“Harsh.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

Thank God its FridayFriday is upon us with the fleetness of a gazelle. At least, it seems that way. For us old folks me sitting at home writing our my hearts out, the days move way too fast. I know, I know not much sympathy from you younger folks who need to get up and head out the door to some other place of employment. I have to imagine that unless your job entails standing on your head, the days have to move pretty quickly as well.

I was on the phone with my uncle who is 92 and he mentioned how quickly he felt his life passed. He says he has no regrets and that he lived a full life but is still amazed at how fast it went.

I suppose this is another lesson in taking the time to enjoy what you are doing since before you know it that time may be gone. Today’s John Ku talks about appreciation. I hope you enjoy it.

Appreciation by John W. Howell © 2016

Smelling the roses,

Is said to enhance one’s life. . .

Make it once a day.

 

Thursday – A little Personal #RRBC Member of the Month

~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

a book-club-badge-suggestion-copy-1

As most of you know, I’m a member of Rave Reviews Book Club. Among the many methods of promoting its members is the designation of Member of the Month. This honor is a twelve times a year event, and I am pleased to be the Member of the Month for the Month of April.

The reason I’m posting this award is to demonstrate the fact that Rave Reviews Book Club is chartered to position mutual recognition and author help above all other priorities. In addition to the Member of the Month selection, there are slots available for Member of the Week (think 52), Book of the Month (3 per month), #PushTuesday (52) and #PushWeek (52). On top of all of all these efforts, each member is mentioned three times a week on Twitter through the Tweet Support Team.

a spotlight-honors11

During the month, there are eight RAVE WAVES BlogTalkRadio broadcasts where RRBC author interviews take place about their career and books. These shows reach thousands of listeners yearly and serve to promote the members.

On top of all of that, there are tours, contests, incentives, a weekly newsletter and a number of other opportunities for support.

The Mission and goal of RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB are to Profile, Promote & Propel the careers of Indie authors. So if you are an author or reader looking for a place where you can give and receive support this is the place for you.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

funny-college-4-5Wednesday Story day again. Last week we left Mrs. Worthe and Ben discussing how Ben could provide some collateral to ensure he would keep his mouth shut. Mrs. Worthe had initially offered up the idea of cutting off Ben’s right thumb. It appeared that she had another thought in mind and questioned Ben on his feelings for Alexis. Ben admitted that he valued Alexis’ relationship and since that is about the only thing he has Mrs. Worthe is about to offer him a deal.

“What kind of deal Mrs. Worthe?”
“Well, let me see. You and Alexis are pretty close right?”
“Yes. I’m not sure I like where this is going.”
“Oh now, calm down, Ben. Alexis is my daughter. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
“Why bring her name up then?”
“Look, you little wimp. I’m trying to work a deal that doesn’t include hacking off your thumb if you blab.”
“I already told you I’m not going to say anything.’
“And I should believe you why?”
“I’m serious. I just want to get out of here and go back to school and forget we ever talked about blowing up the student union.”
“I can appreciate that Ben, you dear little man. I do have to protect myself and Mr. Worthe.”
“You have my word.”
“Backed up by what? Besides your thumb that is.”
“We’ve been over that. I don’t have anything.”
“How about this? If you promise not to see Alexis again, I won’t take your thumb.”
“What? I think I would rather you take my thumb.”
“Here’s how it would work. You tell Alexis goodbye. You keep your mouth shut. You break either promise, and I not only come after your thumb but will take out an eye as well.’
“I think you are crazy and need professional help.”
“Tell me Ben darling. Do you think I’m capable of carrying out my threat?”
“I’m sure you can. That’s what is so crazy about this whole thing.’
“Well, then?”
“Okay, you win. I’ll tell Alexis goodbye and won’t say a word to anyone.”
“Now you are the kind of boy I could love.”
“Please don’t do me any favors Mrs. Worthe.”
“Excuse me, folks.”
“Yes, doctor. What is it.”
“Mrs. Worthe, the priest is here.”
“Oh by all means show him in.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – #RRBC Spotlight Author Sherilyn Powers

~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments

I am so pleased to welcome Sherilyn Powers this week’s Rave Reviews Spotlight Author. Please visit this LINK to see all the stops as part of her tour. So please welcome Sherilyn to Fiction Favorites.

Sherilyn Powers imageI'm Not Crazy I'm Allergic by Sherilyn Powers

Eliminating Top Food Allergens
By Sherilyn Powers
Author of I’m Not Crazy… I’m Allergic!

One of the things that is difficult in a journey to identify if you have food allergies or sensitivities, is where to start.
According to most allergy sites there are between eight and eleven top allergens that are most likely to cause issues. These are usually identified as mustard, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame seeds, milk, eggs, fish, shellfish, soy, wheat and sulphites.
Usually peanuts and shellfish are an “all or nothing” type of reaction. It seems that when people develop allergies or sensitivities to these, it doesn’t stay just annoying but quickly goes serious. Not everyone reacts like this but the majority seem to.
The other foods seem to be a little less critical for people and they are good to start your elimination diet.
Things to keep in mind as you eliminate a food is to make sure you aren’t getting it anywhere. Read labels. It doesn’t matter if eggs is the last thing on the list (supposedly meaning there is less of it than anything else), if you are eliminating eggs, don’t eat it.
The same thing goes for eating food where you don’t have control over all the ingredients ie. fast food. Unless you can look up their ingredients or allergy list, don’t chance it. The more diligent you are to ensuring you are not exposed to that food for the required time, the better result you will get when you reintroduce it if you do have a sensitivity/allergy to it.
Another thing to note… you may have to do an elimination of a food more than once. Sometimes the first time you take a food out, you don’t get a definite reaction. After a few other things have been eliminated, you can try that food again and see if your reaction is any stronger.
If you find that you take out a food, feel better for the week to ten days, and then feel horrible when you reintroduce it – congratulations! You have found something you would be better off avoiding. However, you aren’t done yet.
The bad news is… most people aren’t just allergic/sensitive to one thing. For a lot of people, once their bodies “decide” to react to one thing, it isn’t long before another one or two pop up.
In my book “I’m Not Crazy… I’m Allergic!” I go more in-depth with elimination diets and the things to help identify if you have unknown allergies or sensitivities.

Sherilyn Powers’ contact information:
Facebook:   https://www.facebook.com/imnotcrazyimallergic
Twitter: @SPowersINCIA
Website:  http://imnotcrazyimallergic.com

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue #71 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

Here is another in the series by Keith Channing. His words “Using this photo as inspiration, (below) write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – for reasons I have yet to fathom, pingbacks don’t seem to be working.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #66

Here is my interpretation.

Portrait by John W. Howell © 2016

“Psst Bowser. You need to smile like Aunt Helen.”

“Geez, what is it about people and pictures. They go ga-ga when some dope aims a camera at them. I think you need to smile Mom instead of worrying about me. The last time I looked, I don’t have a set of lips that are conducive to a smile. In fact, when I do smile people run like hell. They think I’m snarling. Not that you care but I had the next door neighbor try to kick me when all I was trying to do was be friendly. Fixed him, though. I lifted my leg on his newspaper. I had to laugh at the thought of him sitting down after dinner and opening his paper. I’ll bet it took a few minutes for him to figure out that the wetness was not from the sprinklers. I even imagine him sticking his fingers in his mouth while eating something at the time.

Right now I would love to jump off mom’s lap and go lift my leg on Pa. His idea of a good time is to continue to snap photos no matter what’s going on. Take right now for instance. We are here having dinner with Aunt Helen before she goes off to mortuary school and it just doesn’t seem to be an occasion for a lot of pictures. Okay take one or two but for god’s sake do we have to do it after each course? We just had the salad and up he jumps, grabs the Nikon, and we are all blind for the next three minutes.  I don’t mean to say anything, but Aunt Helen looks like she has been practicing on herself. I don’t think that’s wrong of course. It’s better than trying her craft on me. I can’t figure out what she sees in dead people anyway. I think they smell funny, and no self-respecting dog wants to stay around them.

Okay, team. How about we get to the beef course now. I’ve pretty much had it with creamy Italian salad dressing. I need something I can get my teeth into before I consider a leap at old Pa over there. Don’t get me wrong I love my humans but man sometimes they can be such a pain.”

“Come on Bowser. Give Pa a smile.”

“Okay Pa here you are. A big smile from Bowser to you.”

“Look at that dog Mary. He’s snarling.”

“Damn what did I tell you?”

Top Ten Things Not to do if You Plan to Attend a MLB Game

~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

Major League BaseballThis list has as inspiration the fact that the Major League Baseball season is underway, and there are things you need to know if you plan to attend a game.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Plan to Attend an MLB Game.

10 If you plan to attend a game, do not call in sick to work. If you do, at best no one will see you that day. At worst, you will be highlighted as the 100th attendee including an interview playing of the 6:00 and 10:00 news. (You hope that fake nose, moustache, and glasses get up will keep your boss in the dark.)

9 If you plan to attend a game, do not bring your favorite glove in hopes of catching a home run. If you do, at best those around you will assume you have some kind of mental illness that focuses on balls. At worst, you will actually have the opportunity to catch a home run ball only to drop it in front of thousands of fans on the jumbotron and those watching the game on TV. (Can you say, “Clumsy idiot,” Bucky?”

8 If you plan to attend a game, do not drive your car to the ballpark. If you do, at best you pay more for parking than the ticket. At worst, you’ll have trouble finding a place to park and take up the offer by the guy in sunglasses and knit cap to watch your car for five dollars. (The tow truck didn’t do too much damage, and you understand a new bumper will cost under a thousand.)

7 If you plan to attend a game and are taking a date, do not try to avoid the kiss cam by talking on your phone. If you do, at best this will be the last time with this person. At worst, the commentary from the TV coverage will ensure you may never get a date again. (Sure you are the Wolf of Wall Street, Ace and now may be a lone wolf).

6 If you plan to attend a game and want to sit close to the players, do not yell insults that the players can hear. If you do, at best you’ll get some fierce looks. At worst, you might have to think fast to avoid that Louisville slugger that is heading your way. (Man! Those bats are hard aren’t they Buster?)

5 If you plan to go to the game, do not try to best your old beer per hour record. If you do, at best you will fall short and be glad later. At worst, you will soundly beat your old record which you will celebrate by calling trains (Pittsburgh, Pokipsie, and Albuquerque) in the ceramic microphone. (Those cheese nachos looked better an hour ago didn’t they? Ferd.)

4 If you plan to go to the game, do not think it will be a cheap day. If you do, at best you will have sticker shock at the end of the day. At worst, you will overspend to the point that you realize you could have had a trip to a lovely resort. (Who was to know those peanuts prices were by the piece rather than the bag.)

3 If you plan to go to the game, do not sit in a part of the stadium where the away team fans sit and root for your team. If you do, at best everyone will take your loyalties good-naturedly.  At worst, you may find that the guy everyone calls Brutus has finally had it with your cheers and decides to give you a closeup view of a knuckle sandwich. (The view was brief before the lights went out wasn’t it?)

2 If you plan to go to the game, do not keep up a running chatter about the team and individual statistics. If you do, at best you have everyone wanting to move away. At worst, while you impress yourself you are not paying attention to that large man with cauliflower ears who is pushing people out of his way and heading in your direction. (Seems odd that he can pick you up by the neck doesn’t it?)

1 If you plan to attend a game, do not make the assumption that the umpire is not qualified and has been on the waiting list for a Lasic procedure. If you do, at best your accusations of sight and skill problems will fall on deaf ears. At worst, security will help you to a position in the park where no one can hear you. (If you need help you are now in a place where no one can hear you scream. Heh heh heh.)