Top Ten Things Not to do if You Are a New First-Time Parent

November 23, 2015November 21, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

new parent

This list was inspired by watching new parents having some challenges with raising their kids. Sometimes the stress was self-induced, and some good counseling could have avoided the scene.

Top Ten Things Not to do If you are a New First Time Parent

10 If you are a new first-time parent, do not think your child needs to be the first in your circle to do everything. If you do, at best, you will be headed for some disappointment. At worst, you will spend needless cash on child and adult psychologists seeking explanations to unnecessary problems. (Have you ever met an adult who wasn’t potty trained?)

9 If you are a new first-time parent, do not dress your child as an adult. If you do, at best your friends will think you missed something in your childhood. At worst, your child will notice they are a little out-of-place with the other kids leading to other self-image issues. (First hint is when your five-year-old asks for a Porsche for Christmas)

8 If you are a new first-time parent, do not take your toddler to an elegant restaurant for a late night dinner. If you do, at best your child will be miserable being up too late in an unfamiliar environment.At worst the rest of the restaurant patrons will draw straws to see who calls Child Protective Services. (You are used to the crying right?)

7 If you are a new first-time parent, do not stress over pre-school choices. If you do, at best you will need medication to get through the process. At worst, you will become so obsessed with the so-called right school that you will never be satisfied if you are not successful in getting your child enrolled. (Isn’t pre-school supposed to be enjoyable?)

6 If you are a new first-time parent, do not worry about the color of the nursery. If you do, at best your child will not notice the color for a few months. At worst, your worry will be another point of stress that a newborn will recognize. (So you have a boy in pink and a girl in blue. Only your in-laws will care.)

5 If you are a new first-time parent, do not buy quantities of clothes and accessories thinking you are saving money. If you do, at best your child will outgrow the stuff in a month or two, and you will be able to return the excess. At worst, you lost your receipt and find yourself cutting off the feet of onesies so you won’t have to throw them away. (That Costco run really didn’t pay did it?)

4 If you are a new first-time parent, do not read a bunch of child care books. If you do, at best, you will end up totally confused as to what to do. At worst, you will have opinions that are contradictory, and you will need to toss a coin to come to a decision. (Trust a coin on a fever cause and treatment? I don’t think so)

3 If you are a new first-time parent, do not believe you have to record every minute of the child’s life. If you do, at best you will watch you child grow up through the camera viewfinder. At worst, you child will think life is only real if it is captured on film. (Maybe put the camera down and pick up the kid.)

2 If you are a new first-time parent, do not buy toys that are not age-appropriate. If you do, at best your child will not play with them. At worst, you’ll enjoy playing with the toys and will be accused of purchasing the toys on purpose. (Tsk, tsk, tsk)

1 If you are a new first-time parent, do not think you will have to survive on little sleep the rest of your life. If you do, at best you will think you need to run away. At worst, you will want to take the child to the pediatric return desk. (Don’t worry the lack of sleep thing only lasts a couple of years – uh maybe eighteen)

Sunday – Fifty – Two Views of the Gulf

November 22, 2015November 21, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

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A little bit of rain is threatening. The tides are high, and there are coastal flood warnings (Not to worry happens all the time.) The daytime temps are in the mid-seventies and night in the upper 60’s. We expect a cold front to hit on Monday which will keep the daytime temperatures in the lower seventies and night could get as cold as fifty. That little black dot just above the horizon is a pelican, and the others are gulls. (and you thought your screen needed cleaning)

Last week’s photo

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “to/too/two

November 21, 2015November 20, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 18 Comments

It is Steam of Consciousness Saturday again. This week’s prompt is “To/Too/Two.” Since Linda Hill is away in Japan the temporary dungeon mistress HELEN ESPINOSA says we can use these in any manner we choose. (You can tell she is temporary). If you would like to be a part of this ~~madness~~ fun, go to Linda’s post and find out the cost of chiming in. (hint its free) http://lindaghill.com/2015/11/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-2115/ Here is my interpretation.

“To what good deed does this gift belong.”

“Oh, no good deed. I just wanted to give you something since you are my friend.”

“I’m totally taken back. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, just open it.”

“I’m so excited.”

“Go ahead and tear the paper.”

“My goodness what have we here.”

“I hope you like it.”

“Like it? I love it.”

“It came in the color blue too. I thought you would rather have the red. Also, the guy said the red brings good luck.”

“Yes, the red is so much more distinguished. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry they did not have two. I would have liked one as well.”

“Aw. That’s a shame. We could have been twins.”

“I’m not sure about that. I’m so much bigger than you.”

“No, I mean If we wore the same red nose people would think we were twins.”

“Well, they would assume we both had red noses alright. So Rudolf try it on.”

Thanks to Jill Weatherholt for helping launch His Revenge

November 20, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 1 Comment

Jill Weatherholt

Jill Weatherholt is helping launch His Revenge today. You can visit her blog Jill Weatherholt and see it.

Jill’s blog began about three years ago and she established the expectation of her dedication with her motto,”Pursuing a passion for writing.” Now after we have watched Jill dedicate herself to that passion we are so proud that she recently signed a contract for her debut book.

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We will all be watching Jill grow and fulfill her dream.

Here is more about Jill in her own words.

“My name is Jill Weatherholt and I’m a writer. I have a full-time job, but at night and on the weekend, I pursue my passion, writing. I write modern stories about love, friendship, and forgiveness. I started this blog as a way to share my journey toward publication and to create a community for other new writers.

Raised in the Washington, DC area, I’ve lived in Charlotte, North Carolina since 2004. I hold a degree in Psychology from George Mason University and a Certification in Paralegal Studies from Duke University.”

I’m a winner of Harlequin’s Blurb2Book contest for their Love Inspired Inspirational Print. I was the first place winner in the Dream Quest One Short Story Contest in the Winter 2014-2015 competition. In 2014, I placed second in Southern Writers Magazine Short Story Contest. I was also a top ten finalist in Southern Writers Magazine Short Story Contest in 2012 and 2013. I’m a 2010 and 2012 winner of the NaNoWriMo Contest.”

Thanks, Jill and best of luck on your writing.

Friday – John Ku – AKA TGIF

November 20, 2015November 19, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

Fireball friday

Another Friday. next week at this time the entire United States will be out in the stores duking it out for those gift bargains. I’m glad my shopping list does not include children’s toys. It is almost a necessity to go rumble with the masses given how much kid’s toys cost these days. I can be thankful that my list is rather subdued and most of the items would not be found on sale at the big box stores anyway. So I’m just going to chill at home and wait for Ciber Monday to come around on November 30th. When it arrives, I will pound my keyboard and try to fill my cart while everything is available. I just hope everything will be available. Oh yes, Happy Friday. We made it. This week started with a return trip from Detroit that was a nightmare. Flights cancelled, lightning, fog, no food, and very late arrival. Today’s JohnKu talks about home. I hope you like it.

Turmoil and trouble,

Turning the trip home to hell. . .

The refuge worthwhile.

Thursday – A little Personnal – #RRBC Rave Waves BlogTalkRadio Interview with Simon Cornish

November 19, 2015November 17, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 7 Comments

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Today at 11:00 AM CST I will be hosting an interview with Simon Cornish author of an absorbing book titled Rosetta. You can tune in by clicking HERE.

Rosetta blurb:

Damaged, enigmatic and beautiful, Rosetta could prove to be the key to unlocking a three-thousand-year-old mystery that would shake modern science to its roots.

With the unexpected death of his old university professor, paleolinguist, Graham Chandlers is surprised to learn the man had a daughter, Rosetta. Intrigued after she performs a ritual in an ancient language at the funeral service, he is drawn in further when he is left the professor’s journals; journals that hint at a cover-up concerning the professor’s last dig and a paradox that keeps pointing back to Rosetta.

A little more about Simon in his own words.

“With a career as a professional animator, illustrator and scriptwriter I’ve always been involved in the creative process, one way or another. People have said it tends to give me a visual, even filmic approach to my writing.

Wanting to explore my writing in more depth I undertook an MA in Professional Writing at Falmouth University, graduating in 2011. Since then I’ve written a good deal of short fiction, won a couple of prizes and had several stories published. In 2014, I edited and published an anthology Between Stops, featuring the work of several edgy writers along with some of my own.

After years of being trendy in Brighton, I now live as an eccentric in an idyllic part of rural Devon, but then, Devon is full of eccentrics.”

I read Rosetta and enjoyed it immensely. The writing is tight, and the story moves quickly.

You can visit Simon’s book on Amazon and Simon at Facebook, his website, or Goodreads. His twitter handle is @unforgivingmuse

Thursday – A Little Personal – An Interview on Steve DeWinter’s Show

November 19, 2015November 17, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 9 Comments

I was honored to be interviewed by Steve DeWinter on his YouTube show. Here is the link

https://youtu.be/b-7vrHhExYM

steve dewinter

Steve is a #1 Bestselling Amazon Action & Adventure Sci-Fi Author who also co-authored a fantasy novel with Charles Dickens. Yes! That Charles Dickens. Steve is an amazing author. He has authored or co-authored twenty-nine books. In addition, he has an author interview show that he invites all authors to write him at writer@stevedw.com if you would like to appear.

Here is Steve’s Amazon author page. You need to go and see some of his books

Wednesday – Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 18, 2015November 23, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

Funny college 3

Wednesday story time again. Last week we left Mrs. Worthe, Alexis, Ben. And Alexis’ holding their breath as Mrs. Worthe pointed out some of her husband’s weakness for wine, women, and song. The slanderous comment was in an attempt to let Alexis know how badly her father had run the explosive business. So now with our eyes shielded and our barf bags at the ready we need to go to see what Mr. Worthe has to say.

“You know darling I can always count on you to bring up some unpleasantness that was already fully vetted in the past.”

“Fully vetted? You must be kidding me. You are still running around with that little chippie who is the age of Alexis.”

“You have no proof. Besides I haven’t seen her for over a year, and you know it.”

“Who’s the chippie?”

“Shut up Ben. This is between my husband and me.”

“Yet you choose to have an audience, my dear.”

“Don’t my dear me you old goat. I am still very angry at you.”

“Mom, dad. Can we please get back to the reason Ben and I are here. We need some C4.”

“C4 shmee four. I am not going to give you a book of matches let alone C4.”

“Mom, you’re being hateful. Why not?”

“I already told you. Between you and your boy toy, you don’t have enough sense to come out of the rain let alone start blowing up the city with C4.”

“We know what we are doing.”

“Yeah sure. Okay, let me ask. Why do you want to blow up the Student Union?”

“To make a point about how we students have been treated.”

“Stupid reason.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Why don’t you get a little more creative?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, how about a letter to the university president asking for…um…let’s say four million dollars, or you will blow up the student union. I would think you could plant the C4 in such a way that with a complex remote detonation system you could pull it off and maybe not hurt yourself.”

Thank You, Dan Antion for Helping Launch His Revenge

November 17, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 6 Comments

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Header from No Facilities

Dan Antion is helping Launch His Revenge today. You can visit his blog No Facilities and see it.

Dan’s Blog is a combination of the philosophical with the practical. Dan’s motto on the header is “Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams” You have to understand one thing to be amazed by the by these words. Dan is a systems designer. Yes, that’s right one of those “let me test that before I draw a conclusion,” type of occupations. Dan really explains what he is doing in his About statement,

“Husband, father, woodworker, cyclist, photographer, geek – oh wait, I’m writing this like I only have 140 characters. I am all those things, and more, and all of these passions present me with opportunities to observe, and think about things that I can’t write about in other places. I have started this blog to catch the stuff that falls out, overflows and just plain doesn’t fit the other containers in my life.”

He has regular features, Thursday Doors, SoCS and If We Were Having a Beer where he provides his reader’s with a host of informative ideas, sights, factoids and practical information. Dan also is a remarkable photographer and takes most of the photo’s that appear on his blog. How well does he do? Well, WordPress thinks he is very good. He has been awarded the Freshly Pressed designation.

Here is one of my favorite photos of Dan. He was spending time with his daughter Faith doing some “easy hiking” in keeping with a sixty-year-old. He captioned this photo “Dan Antion on the way down.” I don’t think he was referring to a decline in facilities but the fact that he was heading off the mountain. I tried to kid him about the vintage Pittsburgh Pirates shirt (we both have an affinity for Pittsburgh), but he would have none of it. Thanks for your help today Dan and for keeping a lot of us entertained week after week.

Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #51 by Keith Channing

November 17, 2015November 16, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

As you may know, I have become enamored by the talent of Keith Channing. He has a weekly prompt named Kreative Kue, which runs on Mondays. Here are the instructions from Keith for the prompt. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated.”

His advice. “Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your blog or website, next Monday.” Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #51

“Okay, ladies I placed the call. Anything happen while I was away.”

“No nothing much. Charlene here has cold feet.”

“I do not have cold feet. I just said we should think it over and make sure the plan is airtight. Betty’s the one who’s concerned.”

“You can’t say that Charlene. All I said was I don’t want to get caught. Tell us again Jean your thought on getting away.”

“Well to me it’s simple. We go in with our disguises on, and when we come out and get in the cars, we take them off. No one will know it’s us.”

“I think it’s a good plan, Jean. How about the rest of you? You’ve been quiet Mariann. What do you think?”

“I’m just about finished with my disguise, and I say we do it.”

“Good job Marianne. So if you are all okay here’s the plan. We get in the cars and drive to the location. We park as close as we can but avoid the surveillance cameras. We go in and spread out. We use the big bags to take as much as we can. When we think we are finished we get out clean and head for the cars. Everyone got it? Any questions?”

“I have one.”

“Yes, Charlene what is it?”

“Who’s idea was it to do Black Friday at Wal-Mart in the first place?”