Tag: fiction favorites

Ten Things Not to do Shopping for the Holidays and a Reminder His Revenge is on Sale

~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

The reminder first.

His Revenge front final

As a reminder beginning at 12:00 am PST (6:00 am GMT) on November 30th (Today) until 12:00 pm PST (6:00 pm GMT) on December 1st His Revenge will be on sale for $0.99 in the US and £0.99 in the UK. This event is a thirty-six-hour sale for the US and UK markets and is in support of CYBER Monday. If you want to read His Revenge, for a limited time it is available for less than what you would pay for a hot dog at the gas station. (And better for you)

Funny-cartoon-Christmas-shopping

 

Ten Things Not to do While Shopping for the Holidays

The inspiration for this list is some years of watching the same kinds of mistakes made during this festive time.

10 While shopping for the holidays do not think other shoppers are out to get you. If you do, at best you will resemble someone who needs hospitalization. At worst, you may take retaliatory action on  the city kickboxing champ who accidentally ran into you.. (Notice how he doesn’t use his hands to kick your butt.)

9 While shopping for the holidays, do not have a few drinks to ease the pain. If you do, at best you may give into a temptation and overspend. At worst, you will have the best time you’ll never recall except for the car full of stuff you still don’t know how it got there. (That ringing phone is the credit card company wanting to know if your card has been stolen.)

8 While shopping for the holidays, don’t go out without a list. If you do, at best you will forget some gifts. At worst, you will spend more than you thought and yet have a nagging feeling you forgot an important gift. (How did that office gift exchange go since you were empty-handed?)

7 While shopping for the holidays, do not leave the house without a travel plan. If you do, at best you will cover the stores in a pattern looking like the infinity symbol. At worst, you will need to use your GPS to finally figure out where you are and to locate the stores you have already passed. (You say you passed the gift shop twice but can’t figure out how to get back there?)

6 While shopping for the holidays, do not take the small children with you. If you do, at best you all will be frustrated doing exactly the opposite of what you want to do. At worst, you will start to deviate from your shopping plan and end up at the McDonald’s Playground trying to figure out what to tell everyone who will not get a gift this year. (That Big Mac and supersized order of fries are starting to look pretty good by now.)

5 While shopping for the holidays, do not think you are saving money by buying things on sale that you know are not perfect gifts. If you do, at best you can give gift receipts so the gift can be returned. At worst, you will get the perfect gift from the person you gave a less than a perfect present. (That is Murphy’s Law of scrimping on a gift for someone. It goes like this. The expense of the gift you receive is indirectly proportional to the cheapness of the gift you give. In other words the less you spend, the more someone else spends on you.)

4 While shopping for the holidays, do not think a gift card takes the place of an actual present. If you do, at best you will get your shopping done fast and early. At worst, you could spend more on the gift card than you would on a thoughtful gift. (The problem is the recipient knows the amount. Darn it)

3 While shopping for the holidays do not take gift suggestions from ads on tv. If you do, at best your present could represent an uninspired choice. At worst, the gift you give could be totally inappropriate. (Yeah, that Victoria Secret or Home Depot item should have stayed in the store.)

2 While shopping for the holidays do not wait until the last-minute to decide what gifts to buy. If you do, at best you will be running around not knowing what you had in mind. At worst, you will be faced with some difficult decisions given everything you wanted to buy is not available. (The net result is much more expensive than you had originally planned)

1 While shopping for the holidays do not avoid taking water and eating before the trips. If you do, at best you will be without energy and parched. At worst, you will finally be forced to take a break and will have to spend what could be an enormous amount for something to eat and drink. (Sure you could wait an hour for a fast food chicken sandwich but time is money right?)

Cyber Monday Sale on His Revenge – Kindle Version US $0.99 UK £0.99 #RRBC

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

 

His Revenge front final

One of the reasons I decided to self-publish was to be able to control my promotional events. I am therefore pleased to announce beginning at 12:00 am PST (6:00 am GMT) on November 30th (Tomorrow) until 12:00 pm PST (6:00 pm GMT) on December 1st His Revenge will be on sale for $0.99 in the US and £0.99 in the UK. This is a thirty-six-hour sales event for the US and UK markets and is in support of CYBER Monday.

If you want to read His Revenge, for a limited time it is available for less than what you would pay for a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips at the gas station. (And better for you)

#RRBC Spotlight Author Tour – Michael P. King

~ John W. Howell ~ 16 Comments

AUTHOR PHOTO (9)THE TRAVELING MAN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am pleased to host Michael P. King on his seventh stop on his Spotlight Author Tour. This kind of recognition is what every active member of Rave Reviews Book Club has an opportunity to enjoy.

Welcome Michael.

Thanks John,

When to Start on Social Media

Probably one of the biggest mistakes I made in becoming an Indie author was to start so late on social media. When I launched The Traveling Man in April 2015, I had a rudimentary website and a three-week old Facebook presence. Since then, I’ve been playing catch up. And starting out so far behind means that I’ve had to spend a lot of valuable time learning how to use social media that I could have used for actual marketing, or hunting reviews, or working on my next book. But we don’t get to start where we want to start; we start where we have to start.

So now, about eight months out, I’ve finally gotten up and running in an appreciable way on my website, on Facebook, on Twitter and on Pinterest. So if you haven’t got your first book out yet, and you’re not on social media yet, it could take you six months or so to get everything into place. And that’s work you want done before you launch your book if at all possible. Because after you launch your book, all your spare time will be taken up with marketing (Veteran writers are all nodding their heads now). And all your already-in-place social media connections will be invaluable to getting the word out.

To learn more about Michael P. King, or to purchase The Traveling Man, please visit:

Website: https://michaelpking.org

Amazon Author Page: http://bit.ly/MPKingA

Twitter handle: https://twitter.com/mpking3312

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelP.King.thetravelers

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Stuff”

~ John W. Howell ~ 18 Comments

a new socs-badge-2015

Linda hill is still cavorting in japan so she appointed Pavowski as the person in charge. He has dictated that the prompt is “stuff.” and all the various derivations. If you would like to know more and join in go to Linda’s blog and find out how. http://lindaghill.com/2015/11/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-2815/ Here is my interpretation.

Stuff by John W.Howell ©2015

“What is that stuff?”

“This stuff?”

“Yeah, that stuff. What is it?”

“It’s my stuff man.”

“Well. that tells me a lot. What is it?”

“You can’t tell from there?”

“Looks like basket of laundry to me.”

“It’s not laundry. Take a closer look.”

“Okay now I see. Your stuff is nothing but cans.”

“These aren’t cans they’re gold. I’m dealing in the commodies market.”

“Next you’ll tell me your cardboard box is a castle.”

“Better than nothing and yeah its a castle to me. what chew got?”

“Well I’ll tell you I don’t count my wealth in terms of cans. My stuff is more valuable than that.”

“Like what kind of stuff do you have?”

“My stuff has substance and a projectable cash flow.”

“What stuff is that?”

“Corner marketing.”

“Corner marketing?”

“Yeah, standing out there with my advertising message.”

“What message?”

“A number of them.”

“Give me one.”

“Will work for food.”

 

Friday JohnKu – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 18 Comments

Black Friday

 

Here we are BLACK FRIDAY. I don’t know about you, but I’m staying in the house. I have to rest up for the Baylor Bear football game tonight. They are playing those TCU Horned Frogs. In our house, we have a high affinity to Baylor. The prime reason is that we sent a small fortune to Baylor along with the youngest. The other reason is we like to watch them play. They have a fast tempo that is exciting. They are capable of running a play every 19 seconds and usually can manage a touchdown in under two minutes. This kind of pace leaves you exhausted from watching and cannot imagine what the opposing team feels. The TCU/Baylor rivalry goes back some years but came to a head last year when the Big 12 voted Baylor and TCU as co-champions. Neither team felt the other deserved the title. So this week marks a chance for bragging rights. Let’s hope they fall (the rights) to Baylor. Today’s John Ku talks about team loyalty.

My Team by John W. Howell © 2105

They roll over all,

Using time and talent well. . .

Preserving honor.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

College

 

Wednesday story day again (already) and last week our happy thespians got a shock from Mrs. Wolfe. She laid out a plan to extort four million dollars by threatening to blow up the student union. We didn’t stay around long enough to get the kid’s reactions so let’s go back now and see what they have to say.

“Mom, you’ve got to be kidding. No one is going to turn over four million dollars just because we say we are going to blow up the student union.”

“No, you are right. You back it up with a plan to go ahead and blow it if they don’t pay.”

“So Mrs. Worthe, you are saying we plant the explosives and then only blow it if they don’t pay?”

“That’s right Einstein.”

“But Mrs. Worthe, what’s to stop them from going in and disarming the bombs?”

“I’m so glad I mentioned this plan. You people seem to be concentrating on all the wrong things. Let me explain one more time.”

“Mom, We are not stupid.”

“I think we can include your father in that group, but I’ll admit y’all have some brains.”

“Nice dear.”

“Okay now that we have heard from the entire peanut gallery here’s the plan. Ben you and Alexis go into the union about two weeks in advance. You place the explosives in the basement. They will be in containers labeled Fire Prevention do not Move or Touch. We can also add something like by order of the fire marshal.  I think this kind of disguise will prevent the cleaning crew from messing with them.”

“Boy, I like that.”

“Thanks, Ben. Then we will use cell phone detonation devices so that we can control when the stuff goes off or not. Ben, you asked about someone disarming the devices. We will include in the letter that any attempt to disarm will cause immediate detonation. Also, I think we should double arm the device. If they should get to the cell phone, we can have another underneath the C4 to use. You can wire that can’t you Ben?”

“You bet Mrs. Worthe.”

“Good boy. So once we have everything in place, we send the letter.”

“Mom, how will we be able to collect the money?”

“Ah, my child. You just hit on the one thing that usually trips up folks who try to extort money from others. We are not going to have a physical drop. We all know the cops will be all over that spot and the minute we try a pick-up they got one of us. No, we are smarter.”

“What kind of drop my dear? I can’t think of an alternative.”

“That’s because your brain has been soaked in booze, my love. We are going to use an offshore account.”

“Mom they will be able to trace that kind of thing.”

“Not if it goes through several iterations and then ends up in a nonexistent account.”

“You can do that?”

“Of course. Your daddy and I have been using off-shore for some transactions. The nice thing is once you cross the Ukraine a couple of times data seems to disappear.”

“Mom you amaze me.”

“I amaze myself sometimes. How about a drink? I’m parched with all this talking.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #52 by Keith Krates

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

As you may know, I have become enamored by the talent of Keith Channing. He has a weekly prompt named Kreative Kue, which runs on Mondays. Here are the instructions from Keith for the prompt. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated.”

His advice. “Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your blog or website, next Monday.” Here is the photo and my interpretation.

Kreative Kue #52

The Peddler by John W. Howell © 2015

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Fifty dollars for this wood and screen?”

“That madam is no ordinary timber and screen. That has power beyond belief.”

“Yeah sure. It looks like a simple wall hanging to me.”

“I can assure you. The magic in that item could make you rich.”

“Rich? You must be nuts. I’ll give you four bucks.”

“I cannot accept your nice offer. If I do the magic will turn black and might be harmful to you.”

“Man, you won’t give up will you?”

“I must protect you. I could let that go for forty dollars and all the right magic will still be intact.”

“What if I still say no and put it down.”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s too late for that. Once you pick it up, the magic stays with you. If you set it down, the magic will drain out of you. You’ll be cursed.”

“Do you have a license to sell these things?”

“I get my permissions from God.”

“OMG. I’m putting this down now and walking away.”

“Suit yourself madam. Only you will be the one to suffer. Oh, and your family of course.”

“Goodbye, sir.”

“God speed madam I have to take this call. Hello, Sam. How many times have I asked you not to call me while I’m working? Sales? Naw not going so well. Yes, I am trying the curse strategy but no one takes me seriously. Sure I could lay a curse on someone but I’m thinking we should get into another line of business. These wooden things can’t suck enough. Yes, I know your wife makes them but come on. Look you can’t talk to me that way. What? Yeah, I could curse you and don’t call me Lucy. My name is Lucifer.”

 

A Giant Thank You to Sally Cronin for Helping with the His Revenge Launch

~ John W. Howell ~ 2 Comments

Sally Cronin

 

Sally Cronin is helping introduce His Revenge today. You can visit her post HERE. I was very pleased when Sally offered to help with the His Revenge launch. For the three people in the world who do not know Sally’s blog or her books here is a little about Sally and her beautiful place called Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life. Sally’s words.

“My name is Sally Georgina Cronin – I include the Georgina bit because a couple of my books were written back in the beginning as Georgina Cronin – it was my grandmother’s name and as a child I fancied it more than I did Sally – I announced at school age 9 and a little portly that I wished to be called that and instead I was saddled with Georgy Porgy until I went to secondary school as a very definite Sally.

However, on writing my first book-Size Matters – I thought I would give it another go but it has reverted to Sally Georgina Cronin especially as my books have evolved into E-versions.

I have spent a number of years in each of the following industries – Retail, Advertising and Telecommunications, radio and television and taken a great deal from each.

I have written short stories and poetry since a very young age and when I went ‘Indie’ in 1996 I combined my retraining as a Nutritional Therapist with this love of writing. I began with columns in the media in the UK and Spain, my own monthly newsletter and my first health book Size Matters which told the story of my journey from a very overweight 24 stone – 330lbs to a slimmish and healthier individual.”

John’s words

Over the last ten years, this love of writing has developed into another nine titles, her blog, and also into Indie Publishing in 2004. Here are her titles and the newest Tales from the Garden. A collection of fairy stories for children of all ages.

Sally 9

Sally 1Sally 3Sally 4Sally 5Sally 6Sally 6_Sally 7jpg

 

 

 

 

sally 8

Sally’s words again

“Over the last ten years I have managed to fit radio and Internet television both in front of the microphone and camera and behind in a producing and directing role. So whilst I never became the UK Esther Williams I did get to perform without getting too waterlogged.

All my books apart from Just Food for Health are now in Eversions for Kindle and Epub and available here on Amazon as well as Smashwords and Moyhill Publishing http://www.moyhill.com bookshop.

My next projects are in process – a health book focused on care of the elderly at home, a people management development programme (in preparation for my return to work as a trainer when we get back to the UK) and a novel.”

My blog is https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com
And for more information on my books listed here at Amazon please visit
https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/my-books/

Thank you, Sally for your support.