Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

February 21, 2018February 20, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were present at a discussion Sheriff Seth Gibson and the Private eye Frank Plano. According to the Sheriff, he left the Severides house before they were killed. He denied killing them. We also got some information on why the sheriff thinks Lucas’ story about what happened the night of the Severide’s murder is not the whole truth. Most of us doubt the sheriff’s motivations since he seems focused on proving Lucas as the murderer. Well, I see the sheriff and Frank are continuing to talk, so I guess the coffee break is over for now.

“You say you didn’t kill them, sheriff but Alice says you were there and can’t tell me when you left. I could argue that your story is a matter of who do you believe.”
“You have to be kidding me. Alice was so looped in those days I doubt she could even remember seeing me there. Anyone else see me?”
“No. Mrs. Murphy was there but was busy taking care of Alice. Also, they left a short time after Alice said she saw you.”
“Look at the facts, Frank. Alice was a drug user. She says she saw me. Who cares? I already said I was there. When I left the Saverides were alive.”
“I still have to wonder why you’ve been, so hell-bent to get Lucas to confess.”
“For the very reasons, I pointed out. His story has holes in it that the Chief in Kenosha refuses to acknowledge. I’m a lawman, Frank. I want to see Lucas punished for his crime.”
“If he is guilty I would like the same. You have to realize this whole case is not within your jurisdiction.”
“Sadly I know that. This is why I need Lucas to confess. None of the idiots in Kenosha are going to do anything.”
“There is just one more thing, Sheriff.”
“What’s that?”
“What if Lucas didn’t do it?”
“I don’t believe that.”
“But what if it is true. Do you have another suspect?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Right. I don’t think Lucas is going to confess because I don’t think he’s guilty.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“I have a suspicion about someone else.”
“Do tell.”
“I have no proof, but it shouldn’t be too hard to get it. You want to help?”
“Tell me who you suspect, and I’ll help if it makes sense.”
“Give me a day.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #162 by Keith Channing

February 20, 2018February 19, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

“Take the picture for heaven’s sake.”

“Whoops. Looks like the battery is dead.”

“Do you have another?”

“I think so. Let me look in my photog bag.”

“Your what?”

“It’s the bag with all my photography supplies.”

“So, do you have one?”

“Hold on. Let me see. Double-A nope. Triple-A won’t work. Ah, here it is.”

“Thank heavens. I don’t think I can stand here too much longer.”

“Have a seat then.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t sit down.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll wrinkle this shirt and pants.”

“I hate to tell you, but the pants already have a crease.”

“Wha—? I knew that hangar was not right. Do you have an iron?”

“An iron? I barely have a battery let alone an iron.”

“Are you ready to take the picture?”

“Yes. All set. Smile please.”

“Wait. I can’t stop thinking about the crease.”

“Forget the crease already. It won’t show in the final. If it does, I’ll airbrush it out.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Now say cheese.”

“Cheese.”

“Beautiful. I got it. We are done.”

“Is that auto photo going to show?”

“Yes, it will.”

“Super I want her to think I like cars.”

“Who is this picture for anyway?”

“My landlady.”

“Your landlady. You have got to be kidding me. Why a photo for your landlady?”

“She told me if I ended up in pictures my rent would be free.”

“Um, Roberto?”

“What?”

“I think she meant motion pictures. You know, Hollywood.”

“Aw, you think? Hey, do you think I could be in motion pictures?”

“Don’t know about motion pictures but there is one place you could excel.”

“Where’s that?”

“Not where but what.”

“What?”

“You could run for President.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Your Birthday When You Turn One Hundred

February 19, 2018February 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 55 Comments

The inspiration for this list was coming across a bunch of things to do on a birthday. I then imagined doing these things when one is older, and the Ten Things Not to Do was born. It struck me that sometimes just being with family is enough. I hope you enjoy the list and who knows? Maybe you’d enjoy doing one of these when you turn One-Hundred.

10 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not decide to have a big ole house party. If you do at best, you won’t remember it. At worst, all the folks showing up would enjoy a nap and not get down and boogie with you. (You had to know that some people just show their age more than others, Davu. Also, the noise from that ten-piece band is attracting the police.)

9 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not think going clubbing is a good idea. If you do, at best you’ll be in bed before the club opens. At worst, you’ll be stopped at the door by Tiny the WWF champ who can’t count high enough to validate your ID. (So loan him your calculator, Daylan. You know the one that you got free for joining ARRP fifty years ago.)

8 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not decide to have a scavenger hunt. If you do, at best some will forget to come back. At worst, your neighbors will become hopelessly confused by a bunch of seniors appearing to be aimlessly searching for things. (The state trooper described the scene as the zombie apocalypse and now your home is surrounded, Dayson.)

7 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not decide to have a barbecue. If you do, at best you’ll need some Kentucky fried to pull it off. At worst, your gas grill hasn’t been used since your Ninety-Fifth birthday, and no one seems to notice the uncooked food including you. (Gotta hope everyone is immune to the bubonic plague, Deavon.)

6 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not decide to take a city break to a place you’ve never been. If you do, at best you understand Uber. At worst, you will need to rely on friendly strangers to help you get back home. (Funny how those sites you thought you would remember getting there now are so unfamiliar coming back huh, Dalbert. Good thinking on the luggage tag attached to your coat.)

5 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not go on a camping trip. If you do, at best you’ll have someone to help you set up camp. At worst, the search party will take another day to reach you in that ravine. (Good thing you packed your bourbon right, Delsin?)

4 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not take a road trip. If you do, at best your AAA card will get your 67 Dodge back home. At worst, the first bar on your list will refuse to serve you without a doctor in attendance. (So much for acting out Animal House again, Deniz. Hey, wake up Jonesie. You don’t want him to miss the fun.)

3 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not get talked into skydiving. If you do, at best the airplane won’t start. At worst, your tandem diving instructor is a twenty-something who has a severe case of sleep apnea. (It is a good thing he woke up before the landing, Dermitt.)

2 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not consider a beach party. If you do, at best you’ll be sleeping with sand for a month. At worst, your walker is hopelessly useless, and you have to rely on your son-in-law to carry you everywhere. (It wasn’t so bad in the beginning, but that soft drink sure started an endless trek huh, Derrick?)

1 If you are celebrating your One-Hundredth birthday, do not think a rock concert would be fun. If you do, at best you can modulate your hearing aid to accommodate the noise. At worst, once the fireworks start you’ll realize you forgot your emergency inhaler.(Wait. All of a sudden you have this euphoric feeling that comes from a second-hand high. This was not such a bad idea after, all, was it, Derwent?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Sure Sign of Recovery

February 18, 2018February 18, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

A sure sign of recovery in any disaster area is when the folks get together to put on a craft or Garage sale. Well, we had both this week. It is almost as if the last five months have led to pent-up sale demand. We will visit both, but I have to warn you the attendance is a lot less than other events in the past. Since there is a scarcity of housing, it is estimated that three out of four Winter Texans could not find a place this year and stayed home or went somewhere else.

The craft sale.

These are crafts made primarily by Winter Texans.

A lot of shell jewelry. The creator is from North Dakota.

Some nice watercolors.

Some original wood art.

A friendly oil painting artist.

Beads and stuff.

This woman painted the crab and heron. Both were honored by being duplicated on the side of a ferry. The crab is on the Mark B. Goode and the heron on the William G. Burnet.

Now on to the city-wide garage sale.

This is one of the stores that the owners decided to move away. They are selling everything.

Slim pickings. They were mobbed early. The Producer and I tend to amble in and miss some stuff.

The city-wide sale is all over town. There is a map which you can use to go to all the stops. We went to the civic center, and that was it other than the store above.

Tables filled with typical garage sale fare.

And like most garage sales there is always someone on the phone. I was interested in whatever was free, but I didn’t want to disturb her.

Stuff.

More stuff.

The sale is sponsored by Keep Port Aransas Beautiful. Donations accepted.

You can also join the organization by paying $10.00 or buying a shirt.

It was good seeing people out and about for these two events.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “His/Her(s)

February 17, 2018February 16, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 45 Comments

Her eminence Ms, Linda Hill has kicked off the Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “His/Her(s). I’m going to quote Linda directly when she issued the order for the prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “his/her(s).” Use one, use both, bonus points if you start your post with one and end with the other. Have fun!” So you see why the post started with a flourish.

If you would like to participate in the group psychological experiment, go to Linda’s blog and read how you can. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-17-18/

“Her hair is blowing in the wind.”

“It’s supposed to do that. It is part of the feeling.”

“‘Part of the feeling?”‘ What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I have made this piece to represent someone underwater.”

“Okay. I still don’t get it.”

“The wind duplicates the current so when her hair blows

it is like the current of a river or the ocean.”

“Oh, so you have carved a woman out of rock and put that cheesy hair on her to simulate the current flowing.”

“Except for the term, “cheesy,” I think you have the concept.”

“Look at the hair. It looks like it was knit by my grandmother.”

“I’ll have you know I made that hair myself.”

“You are a sculptor, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I think you ought to turn hair making over to someone else. Why didn’t you just carve it out of stone?”

“I guess I could have. I just wanted to have a mixed media piece.”

“Instead you have a bald women sitting on a rock.”

“Harsh.”

“But true. I think you ought to rename this one.”

“So make my whole day. What is your suggestion?”

“See that angelic look on her face and the lovely body?”

“Yeah, of course. I made it.”

“How about “Beautiful Collaborator?”

“No one will get that.”

“Falling Hair?”

“Gross.”

“Cross Dresser?”

“Too political.”

“Some Day My Prince Will Come.”

“Chauvinistic, but you have given me an idea.”

“Oh good. What do you think you should call it?”

“How about simply, “Him.”

“Him?”

“Him.”

“I think you should keep the, “Simply” and call it, “Simply Him.”

I like that. “Simply Him.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

February 16, 2018February 15, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

I’m glad to see Friday come around. We had a cold and rainy week. I know the rain is needed but I certainly missed the sun this week. We are expecting another cold front this weekend so I think the cycle one day sun, six days cloudy will continue. For an area that has over 325 days of sunshine a year, this is unusual.

One nice thing this week. Gwen and I decided (Well, we think we have decided) on the cover for our collaboration, The Contract. Here is a peek at the design as it stood last week. We asked for a few little adjustments so this is not the final but will give you an idea. We hope you like it.

Today’s JohnKu talks about collaboration. I hope you all have a super weekend.

Collaboration by John W. Howell

Working together,

Takes a give and take approach . . .

The end is worth it.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy Visits the Vet

February 15, 2018February 14, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

“So Boss. What are we doing up at 5:00?”

“I’m surprised you know the time.”

“Twelve hours since dinner. It’s not tough. What are we doing?”

“We need to drive two and a half hours to the vet. Let’s go.”

“Why can’t we go to the one near here?”

“Because you need your teeth cleaned and our Vet in San Antonio is the best.”

“I like the car, but that’s a long way.”

“Lay down, and we’ll be there before you know it.”

“Thanks for bringing my blanket, Boss.”

“You’re welcome. Now take a snooze. I’ll wake you later.”

“What’s up Boss?”

“A little traffic, Lucy.”

“What is traffic?”

“We are getting close to San Antonio, and people are going to work.”

“Wow, it’s raining too. Look at those cars. Why aren’t we moving?”

“It could be an accident. At the least, the rain is slowing people down.”

“Shouldn’t you stop and wipe off the glass, Boss?”

“We have wipers for that Lucy. Look.”

“Ah yes. They move fast don’t they?”

“This is exciting, Boss. I’ve never seen so many humans.”

“Well, you did when you were young. You were born here in San Antonio.”

“I was? I don’t remember.”

“I’m glad you don’t, Lucy.”

“What is that noise, Boss?”

“There are other pups in the vet’s office.”

“I think My favorite doctor is out there.”

“Yes, he is.”

“I think I will jump up on him.”

“I’m not sure he will like that.”

“How will he know I’m glad to see him?”

“You could give him a shimmy.”

“I’m happy to report that the visit was very successful. Lucy has all her shots, a complete physical, and her teeth cleaned. She did need three teeth pulled because she doesn’t brush as often as she should.”

“I right here. You know that don’t you Boss?”

“Yes I know it Lucy and I’m so glad you are. It was a full day and now it is time to relax.”

“Night Boss.”

“Night Lucy. Sleep well.”

“I think the dope will make that happen Boss. Thanks for that too.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

February 14, 2018February 13, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we were present when Frank Plano and Jason McDonnell had a meeting. We discovered that Frank Plano has a hunch that he wants to follow. He even offered to do it on his own time. Jason McDonnell gave him the warning to be careful. So now I see Frank Plano walking into the sheriff’s office. I can’t imagine what he is thinking right now. Let’s pop in and see.

“Well, well, well. You got a lot of nerve walking in here.”
“I know sheriff. Just give me a moment.”
“Why should I? You work for that weasel McDonnell.”
“Yes, I do. You are a man of the law right?”
“I swore to uphold the law. Why?”
“Well, I am getting a feeling that the Saveride murder has some elements that have not been uncovered yet.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You have a belief that Lucas killed his parents, right?”
“You damn well know I do.”
“Based on what evidence?”
“Let’s just say, I find his story about that night to be full of holes.”
“Care to elaborate.”
“I’m assuming you, and I are on the same side, Frank.”
“Good assumption, sheriff. I’m trying to get to the bottom of this.”
“Yet you are trying to clear my primary suspect.”
“True, but let’s say for argument sake that Lucas is innocent. Don’t you want to bring the real killer to justice?”
“Hmmm. I see what you mean. Okay, I’m telling you this in confidence. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“You asked about the story that doesn’t add up. Well, the idea of a kid coming home to a house that was a bloody as the Saveride come scene and not noticing anything is pure hogwash.”
“Say more.”
“The smell of the blood when you walk through the door would have been enough to tell someone there was something wrong. I’ve been to scenes like that, and it is unmistakable.”
“Yeah, I get your point. Anything else?”
“According to the police report, there was broken furniture and torn up upholstery. I cannot imagine anyone walking into that house and missing the debris. In fact, when I looked at the report and the sketch of the layout where Lucas’ room was located he would have to kick several items out of his way to get there from where he came in.”
“Hmm. That does sound incriminating. What about the little dog? Let’s see. Ah yes. Buffy.”
“He says the dog came into his room and the reason he was so calm on the 911 call was he was holding the dog and didn’t want the dog to get agitated.”
“Yeah so?”
“Come on, Frank. Since when do you think clearly enough in a dramatic situation to want to keep a dog calm?”
“I see your point. Could I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Were you at the Saveride house the night they were murdered?”
“Where did you get that information?”
“Alice Weston said so. Well, were you?”
“Yeah, I was.”
“For what reason?”
“I don’t have to answer this you know.”
“I know, but you have to admit that doesn’t look good.”
“I know. I was there to drag Alice out of there.”
“So you knew the Severides sold drugs?”
“Everyone knew.”
“Why didn’t you shut them down?”
“Not my jurisdiction. I talked to the Chief in Kenosha, and he said he was working it. That was about all I could do.”
“Sad. So you found Alice was gone, then what?”
“I left.”
“You sure?”
“Come on Frank. I didn’t kill the Saverides.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Our #161 by Keith Channing

February 13, 2018February 12, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

“Here boy. Come on.”

“Hey, dog you are being called.”

“The name is Trevor, and I think he’s calling you.”

“Now that is damn near impossible.”

“Why is it impossible?”

“Well for one thing. He can’t see me so how’s he supposed to know I’m here?”

“You are kidding me. The old man can’t see you?”

“Well, there are some rare times he can.”

“When’s that?”

“You know that special bottle of brandy in the den.”

“Brandy? Oh, you mean the water that smells bad?”

“There is a lot of water that smells bad, but yes.”

“What about it.”

“Well, when there have been too many “I’ll just have one more,”then he magically can see me.”

“Does he talk to you?”

“Um, talk isn’t the right word. I think they call it cursing.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve heard that went he comes across my poop in his bare feet.”

“Ha ha ha. I love those times.”

“So how come I can see you? I don’t use any of the smelly water.”

“You are pure of heart. You have no agenda.”

“You are saying I’m dumb.”

“No, let’s just call you simple and leave it at that.”

“So what makes him so complex?”

“Look at him. Sitting on that noisy thing called a Snapper, cutting grass out in the middle of nowhere. Don’t you think doing something useless like that takes a complex mind?”

“I never thought of it like that. So you are saying the more useless the task, the more complex the planning behind it?”

“You know Trevor, I take back what I said about you being simple.”

“Well, thanks but why?”

“You have just identified one of the facts of life not many think about.”

“Facts of life?”

“Yes. You have articulated the key to understanding the government.”

“Is that possible?”

“You have given the world a start.”

“Before I’m nominated for the Nobel prize, I think I’ll go over and ask Mr. Complex if it is dinner time yet.”

“You go, boy.”

”

Top Ten Gifts Not to Give on Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2018February 11, 2018 ~ John W. Howell ~ 63 Comments

The inspiration for this list was an inquiry on Google asking for the top ten gifts given on Valentine’s day. There are lovely things passed from one to the other on the Hallmark occasion. There are also some significant landmines waiting for the unsuspecting or clueless gift giver. Here are just ten.

10 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a message ball foot massager. If you do at best, your concern for the treatment of Plantar Fasciitis will be noticed. At worst, the hard rubber ball can double as a weapon in the wrong hands. (I think the concern for health now turns to you, Dalziel. That lump looks pretty bad. Follow this pen with your eyes.)

9 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a thumbs up cell phone holder. If you do, at best the question will come up, “How many times do I need to set my cell phone down?” At worst, the recipient has discovered an alternate use of the cell phone holder. (So now you have a unique hat to wear to work, Danaus. How are you going to explain it to your co-workers since it doesn’t look like it will come off anytime soon?)

8 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love sexy erotic lingerie with no back and three strings. If you do, at best you will have to field the question, “am I not sexy?” At worst, your love will decide to make an example and post a selfie with the question, “Would you wear this to bed or to a porn shoot?” (The photo went viral, and the consensus is for the porn shoot, Danell. Oh, and your boss wants to see you in her office, now.)

7 On Valentine’s day, do not give your love compression socks. If you do, at best they’ll be returned. At worst, you will not have an answer to the question raised in court, “and what message were you trying to convey with this pair of compression socks given on Valentine’s Day?” ( The judge is making notes, Danton. This does not look good for your side.)

6 On Valentine’s Day, do not give a Happy Bluetooth Beanie cap with built-in earphones. If you do, at best the temperature will stay at minus 10 degrees for a year. At worst, your attempt to provide a cozy way to listen to tunes will be viewed much like a blender. (You know the blender that you gave last year which is still in the box in the garage, Daphnis?)

5 On Valentine’s Day, do not give a plastic infuser water bottle. If you do, at best your love will have always wanted one. At worst, your love will go online and see you spent a whole $2.50 for this model. (Sure it’s the idea and not the cost that counts, Dardanus. This time though you struck out on both.)

4 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a fitness tracker. If you do, at best there will be a question about motive. At worst, the subject of fat will inevitably come up and as you know from other experiences around this word it will not end well for you. (Do not speak, Darick. You will only incriminate yourself no matter what you say.)

3 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a motion sensor toilet nightlight. If you do, at best your love will be gracious, and you’ll never see the contraption again. At worst, you will have reopened the great argument on toilet behavior that has been raging for years. (Trying to explain a nightlight for someone who never gets up at night is a losing proposition, Darrel. Might as well try to sell it as an improvement device for you.)

2 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a personal pepper spray defense weapon. If you do at best, it will be viewed as concern for safety. At worst, you’ll be in a position of giving something useful much like rubber gloves for washing dishes. (Okay so you talked fast and only got sprayed once as a test, Daryn, I would think this through next year.)

1 On Valentine’s Day, do not give your love a sign for the dishwasher that indicates clean vs. dirty. If you do, at best your new assignment will be the dishwasher. At worst, the sign could be used to show other items in the house needing your attention. (So here it is on the bedroom door, Davidson. You found out what it meant on the laundry hamper, but this is a mystery.)