Tag: His Revenge

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we survived the fact that Harriet and Alice seemed like they were going to come to blows over signing the surgery consent form. Well, it was finally approved which leads us to believe Lucas is now under the knife. Let’s go back to the hospital waiting room and catch up with Harriet and Alice and maybe get a little more info on why they are at odds with one another.
“Anyone sitting here.”
“No Harriet. As you can see, there is no one else in the waiting room.”
“I was just trying to be polite.”
“You and polite are fast friends.”
“Come on Alice. You going to keep that chip on your shoulder.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Sorta depends if someone wants to knock it off. Have a seat.”
“Thank you. You know that boy is hurt don’t you?”
“I know it’s your fault. Putting him up on that ladder. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Okay, Alice. I get the blame game here, but it is not necessary. I have no designs on him.”
“Like you had no designs on Seth.”
“For heaven’s sake. That was eons ago.”
“He was my husband.”
“And you were the love of my life.”
“And you managed to screw everything up in one swift move.”
“I told you he would cheat on you in a heartbeat.”
“You didn’t have to prove it though.”
“I wanted you to see what a deadbeat he was and come to me.”
“Oh yeah, I’m going to come to you after you let my husband make a fool of himself. You really didn’t think that out very well.”
“We did have fun though. Remember you and me skinny dipping and then making love.”
“You hush. I really don’t want that to get around. Especially after what you did.”
“Tell me you don’t think about it though.”
“Damn you, Harriet. I do think about it. I don’t want to, but I do.”
“I’ll always have a place in my bed for you.”
“Shut up, will you. Here comes the nurse.”
“The surgery is going well. The doctor will be out in a couple of hours to give you a report. You ladies behaving yourself?”
“Like two girlfriends Nurse Campbell.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“What Ms.Murphy?”
“Never mind dear.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #126 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

Keith explains what is going on in his words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

Kreative Kue #126

A headache by John W. Howell © 2017

“Yeah, that’s what I said. We are stuck.”

“How did we get stuck?”

“Well, I think it is pretty simple. We came to a tunnel that wasn’t big enough, and we got stuck.”

“How is this even possible?”

“Look I’m not a tunnel engineer. I’m a railroad engineer. How would I know?”

“Have you gone through this tunnel before?”

“Why yes. Yes, we have.”

“With this train?”

“Now that you mention it, yes with this very train.”

“So don’t you think it odd that on this particular trip you got stuck?”

“You know. It is odd.”

“Can you think of any reason why?”

“No. Wait it may be that out cargo load is heavier.”

“Think about it. What would weight have to do with getting stuck? You are wider is the reason. Can you think why you are wider?”

“Hmm. Wider. Let me think about that.”

“You do that, and I’ll call dispatch and see if they know anything.”

“Great idea.”

“Hello, dispatch. I’m calling about old 2120. It seems we are stuck at tunnel forty-one. Yes, forty-one. Okay, I’ll hold.”

“What they say?”

“I’m on hold. Oh yes, go ahead dispatch. You don’t say. Wow, amazing. Okay, we’ll try it. Thanks.”

“So what’s the solution.”

“Dispatch says to check the passenger’s list.”

“What for?”

“To see if there are some unauthorized people on board. Looks like these people have bloated your train.”

“People. Like who?”

“Well, this train don’t carry no gamblers this train. This train don’t carry no liars this train. This train don’t carry no smokers this train. This train don’t carry no con men this train. This train don’t carry no rustlers this train. This train is bound for glory and don’t carry nothing but the righteous and holy. Dispatch thinks you have an overload.”

“The guy in dispatch. You get his name?”

“Yeah. Guthrie.”

“Figures.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Camping

~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

 

The inspiration for this list was surveying the damage after the Memorial Day weekend. Several campsites (Documented here) were either blown or washed away. Such a situation caused the development of a list that might save others from a similar fate.

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Camping

10 If you are camping, do not arrive in the dark to set up. If you do, at best you might accidentally choose a high dry spot. At worst, your camp was pitched in a low spot that the forest animals routinely use as a freeway. (Nothing like having a family of Coyotes in your sleeping bag huh, Bradley?)

9 If you are camping, do not go to the site without having tested new equipment. If you do, at best your stove has no fuel and its try to cook over a fire time. At worst, your water purifier kit is missing a part, and now you have nothing to drink but Bud Light. (Okay so maybe you don’t mind, Buford but the family looks like they are in the beginning stage of dehydration.)

8 If you are camping, do not think you will be immune to insect bites and not take repellent. If you do, at best you’ll have to hope the mud stops the itching. At worst, you might be the only member of the team to come down with malaria. (Who knew that the only Anopheles mosquito in North America had a crush on you, Leroy?)

7 If you are camping, do not take the weather reports lightly. If you do, at best you have not planned activities that can be done in inclement weather. At worst, you may experience what it is like to be cold, wet, and hungry for several days. (You could have done the same thing in your backyard right, Doofis?)

6 If you are camping, do not think you will be able to buy more food at the campsite.  If you do, at best your trip will end early. At worst, your attempts to borrow food from other campers will be met with the same welcome extended to bears. (You also learned a lesson about challenging a bear at the dumpster huh, Bunky?)

5 If you are camping, do not think your fellow campers welcome your loud morning wake-up music. If you do, at best the park management will help you pack. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ having been advised by his anger management counselor to go camping for the peace and quiet is now heading toward your site with a good morning greeting of his own. (It won’t help to ask Tiny to put you down. He’ll be thinking of a body slam, Tex.)

4 If you are camping, do not forget the first aid kit. If you do, at best the rule of camping that says, “someone will get hurt” might pass you by. At worst, in one day your group will have two sprained ankles, a dislocated shoulder, a fish hook in the eyebrow, and poison ivy. (Funny thing is all these things happened to you, Burt and it wasn’t even noon on the first day yet.)

3 If you are camping, do not count on a hot shower. If you do, at best you’ll have to use a cold lake. At worst, you are now attracting wild things from the forest and are being asked to sleep outside the tent. (Your stubbornness regarding hot water is not paying off is it, Buster?)

2 If you are camping, do not arrive at the campsite without a reservation. If you do, at best a standby spot will open up. At worst you, the family, and the dog will be sharing the backseat of your Toyota Corolla. (At least you all have learned what makes each of your really mad right, Putz?)

1 If you are camping, do not think you can recreate the luxury and convenience of your home. If you do, at best you will come up short. At worst, the lack of electricity and air conditioning will finally push you over the edge. (Might as well admit camping is not for you, Ferd.)

Views of the Neighborhood

~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

This week’s View of the Neighborhood is a report on the modernization of Port Aransas. By modernization, I am referring to the new construction going on about town. Yes as sad as it is, our little town is getting new buildings.

The first photo is a brand new Dollar General Store that opened this week

New Construction

I tried to get an art shot but as you can see it is still a Dollar General store.

Turning to something really positive. Our Art Center is getting a new building. Here is an artist rendition of the finished building.

This photo shows the progress to date.

So you know the improvement here is a shot of the current Art Center building

Now on to new tourist facilities.  This is a photo of new short-term rental units going up.

This shot lets you see that the units are a courtyard with a pool in the middle.

Here is a new retail center going up. There will also be short-term rentals on the second floor.

A report on progress would be incomplete without a couple of chains. Here is the famous Texas fast food chain Whataburger.

And (Ta Da) a brand new Domino’s.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Weather/Whether”

~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

SOCS

 

Whether we like it or not, it is the time for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This weeks prompt is weather and or whether. We can use both or one. There are bonus points available if we start and end the post with one or both. Now I hope you see that I’m half way to the bonus points since I started with whether. If you would like to join in just go to Linda Hill’s blog and learn how to participate. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-317/

Whether/Weather by John W. Howell © 2017

“Whether thou goest I will go.”

“Huh.”

“Thy people shall be my people, my love.”

“Are you trying to quote Ruth from the Bible?”

“Why yes. Yes, I am. It is so romantic.”

“I would try harder to get it right then.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s whither thou goest. Whither, whither.”

“Oh, my.”

“What?”

“I just did a post on my blog about Ruth, chapter one, verse sixteen and I used Whether.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. Most will probably miss it.”

“I don’t think my English professor will.”

“He read your blog?”

“Not normally but he said he would because I sent him a link.”

“Hmm, I think I would get to the post and correct it fast.”

“I left my computer at home.”

“Cell phone?”

“Don’t have the app.”

“I think you are in for a little bit of inclement weather.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

TGIF

 

Another Friday is here. Only eight hours until we can think about relaxing. The beautiful thing about Memorial Day on a Monday is the week seems pretty short. A show of hands. How many kept thinking of Monday as Sunday? It is kind of weird when you consider a perfectly nice day like Tuesday as a Monday. Then Wednesday shows up, and you are not even exhausted, so a perfectly good Hump Day goes wasted. Thursday goes by in a flash, and here we are. This makes the idea of a four-day work- week sound exquisite, doesn’t it? Of course, once a four-day is a reality (If ever)  then the target will be a three-day. Are we never satisfied?

Today’s JohnKu talks about satisfaction.

Satisfaction by John W. Howell © 2017

Maslow had it right,

Achieve one satisfaction. . .

Another rears up.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Memorial Day Weekend Aftermath

~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

I thought it would be fun to give you a view of what happens when you are a tourist and decide to ignore “Flood Warnings, High Wind Warnings, and Severe Weather Warnings.” I hope you enjoy the end result of not being able to fix stupid. A good case of Schadenfreude.

This first photo is of a car parked by a campsite. The wheels are buried and looks to be abandoned given the open door.

Aftermath of Memorial Day

Here is what is left of the campsite

More of same. The people obviously just walked off.

This is a shot of a dog bed, belt, and pants. Who leaves behind a dog bed?

I had to take one last shot of this abandoned camp. They not only left the dog bed but someone’s pillow. I don’t get that at all.

Wonder where the charcoal grill is? It is right here along with a pop-up at a different camp.

Here is another swamped camp. The tide came in about 3 am so I’m sure waking up was a rich and rewarding experience.

Here is an upside down pop-up frame that I’m sure the folks were looking forward to using the next day. It is buried.

This is the piece de resistance. Trust me this is not a cabin cruiser.

We had more thrills with a stuck motorhome. The little dog is concerned

A good Samaritan decided to help pull the motorhome out with his surplus army truck.

Now we see no good deed goes unpunished. The truck got stuck, and the crane is needed to pull it out.

More truck drama

The truck is out now it is the motorhome’s turn. Yes, it got unstuck. The cost for this kind of thing runs about $1000.00. Might have been cheaper to turn on the radio last night.

Lucy

“I enjoyed sniffing all that stuff, Boss.”

“I’m glad you did, Lucy. You did a nice job of it.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Alice and Mrs. Murphy having a small disagreement about who is going to sign the hospital papers. The important point here is Lucas needs the surgery, and the hospital can’t do anything without the authorization. So while the two argue poor Lucas is laying in the ER in a state of limbo. Let’s go to the hospital and see if these two will come to their senses and Lucas can get the treatment he needs.

“I said, Ladies, please. You two will need to stop arguing. I need Mrs. Murphy’s signature right now, or there is a chance Lucas is not going to recover.”
“Yes, Alice. Why don’t you take your cougar butt out of here.”
“Oh, look who’s talking? The over the hill heifer in heat.”
“If I weren’t such a lady I would make you take that back.”
“Lady of the night you mean.”
“Okay, that’s it, ladies. Mrs. Weston, you need to leave.”
“I’ll go, but Y’all have not heard the end of this.”
“Just go, Alice. Think of Lucas.”
“I’m thinking of Lucas. In fact, I’m trying to figure out how to keep him safe from you.”
“Oh please. I’m his employer, not some tramp trying to get him in bed.”
“You can go on kidding yourself Harriet, but you are not fooling me. You would take advantage of that poor boy if you could.”
“Enough now Mrs. Weston. Please go through that door and wait in the waiting room. We will give you an update as soon as we know anything.”
“Thank you, nurse Campbell. Take care of him.”
“We will.”
“Where do I sign?”
“Right here.”
“There you are. What else should I do?”
“I think you should wait with Mrs. Weston. I hope you two won’t kill each other.”
“Oh, that? Don’t worry. We have known each other a long time. We have a strange relationship but are harmless.”
“That is good to know.”
“How long until we get information about Lucas.”
“The surgery should take about two hours. He should be awake fully an hour after that so I would say three hours.”
“Thank you, Nurse Campbell.”
“You are welcome Mrs. Murphy.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Creative Kue #125 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

In Keith’s words to let you know what’s going on. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo

Kreative Kue #125

Whoops by John W. Howell © 2107

“Okay steady as it goes.”

“Man, this new computer does all the work.”

“Don’t get over-confident. Keep your hands on the controls.”

“I know, I know. I’m just saying this thing is so easy to fly with the new computer.”

“I agree, but we need to be on guard for any malfunction.”

“Yes, so true. What’s our position?”

“We are two minutes from touchdown at cruise speed. We have just passed the Earth’s moon and are heading for a place called North America.”

“North America. I studied that area. Filled with some humans, right?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately. That’s is why we are landing while our site is on the dark side. We can avoid them.”

“So this site is in North America, but specifically we are on a trajectory to land at location Alpha.”

“That is correct.”

“Alpha is the name of a place?”

“No, it is just a designation.”

“But one with no obstructions.”

“Yes.”

“When was the last survey completed?”

“Just last month. There is nothing there but a few natives. It is one big island.”

“Do we know the Earth year at landing point Alpha.”

“Let me see. Yes, the year is 2017.”

“And what was the Earth year on the survey?”

“Here it is. 1617.”

“Wait. That is four hundred Earth years. Do you think there will be any changes.”

“Are you kidding? Those primitives? Not a chance.”

“Does the island have a name?”

“Well, the indigenous people call it Manhatten.”

“How do we know that?”

“The survey team sent back that information.”

“Oh okay. Looks like thirty seconds till touchdown. Initiating automatic landing sequence. All we have to do is sit back and—Wait what are all those lights?”

“Whoops.”

Top Ten things Not to Do on Memorial Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

As you know, I would normally have a Top Ten list which contains tongue in cheek advice on how to behave under certain circumstances.

Today I only have one thing on the list that I could repeat ten times (but I won’t).

On Memorial Day, do not go through the day without remembering those who gave their lives so that we can continue to celebrate such a beautiful remembrance.

Here is wishing you a peaceful day filled with gratitude.