Top Ten Things Not to Do During the NFL Conference Championships

January 23, 2017January 22, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

Playoffs

The inspiration for this list is a jam-packed day of American football (Notice, Dale I called out the distinction.) yesterday. Green Bay Packers/Atlanta Falcons and Pittsburgh Steelers/New England Patriots made for a mighty fine day. Of course, I am writing this before the games start since I want to see every minute. I hope you enjoy the list in retrospect.

10 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not talk smack about your team’s opponent. If you do, at best yu team will move on to the Super Bowl. At worst, you may be served a big dish of cold crow by all who heard your talk.(You were sure your team would win huh Bunky. Now you have a year of crow eating.)

9 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not plan anything important on that Sunday. If you do, at best you’ll disappoint others. At worst, you will miss the game. (Just so happened your team lost by one point as the opponents went for the extra two points with two seconds to play. Way to let them down, Tex.)

8 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not think you can run to the store for basic food and beverage items. If you do, at best you’ll get there and back before the first game. At worst you’ll join one-hundred of your fellow fans at halftime in a frenzy, fighting over the last bag of Cheetos. (Don’t be afraid. Tiny the WWF champ is asking you nicely to let go of that six-pack. He only gets mad if you ignore his growl.)

7 During the NFL Conference Championships, don’t try to grill dinner without a TV close at hand. If you do, at best you’ll miss key plays watching that steak. At worst, you planned to time the steak for the halftime but find you now have something that resembles blackened cedar plank. (You totally forgot about the meat right, Buford?)

6 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not accept an invitation to a house where you have no idea of the media capabilities of the host. If you do, at best you will try to watch the game on inferior equipment. At worst, you host was not aware of the playoffs and besides, he and his family have taken a no TV pledge.(The only set is in the garage and is a black and white rabbit-eared portable.)

5 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try to entertain your in-laws during the game. At best, you will have a difficult time handling both assignments. At worst, your in-laws will no longer be interested in the game and will ask if they can watch the movie Heidi instead. (Well, Ferd. You did try, and now you need to turn to Heidi on this TV and go to your room.)

4 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not answer your phone. At best it will be your talkative sister who doesn’t have a clue about football. At worst, it will be your boss who has no life and has decided to call a strategy meeting that should go on until midnight.(You could have said you were sorry on Monday, Pud.)

3 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not allow anyone in your house that you don’t know. If you do, at best you will be interrupted to play host to them. At worst, just your luck the couple from your spouse’s work want to share with you the idea that they think football is a metaphor for the male dominated society and they think it should be banned, (If you knew these people you could tell them to have a big cup of shut the f*#k up huh, Pilgrim?)

2 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not try anything funny or different with your TV. If you do, at best you will only trip the circuit breaker. At worst, you will mess up enough to take out the city grid. (The news says the power will be back on around midnight, Buster. You can watch the game on your iPad provided the battery holds. If not there is always the Today show recap.Way after Al Roker and the weather.)

1 During the NFL Conference Championships, do not overserve yourself even if things are not going well for your team. If you do, at best the end of the evening may come too early. At worst, getting carried away with the game ended with a toss of your remote aimed for the referee which passed through the big screen on its one thousand mile trip. (Up till then it was an exciting game huh, Dip?)

Views of the Neighborhood

January 22, 2017January 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Yesterday was extremely foggy here on the coast. I was planning on getting out early to take some photos of a few more houses and finish off the feature that I began last week. I did finally get out after the fog burned off, but the sun was low in the sky and made a few of the photos impossible. I did pick up a few interesting ones and hope you like them.

The first three are of tiny homes that I missed last week. This one is a yard barn and is complete to the last detail. The building is no more than ten feet long by six feet wide.

P.A Homes

The next is a tiny office building or house. I would say this one is thirty feet by eight feet.

fullsizeoutput_3e6

This home is about twenty feet by eight feet, and the little shed is six by four. There are model homes and buildings, and They were not open so I could not get any particulars like pricing. They are cute but a little small for my taste. Also what looks like a smudge in the upper left-hand corner is the last of the fog burning off. The next picture was taken about ten minutes later and you can see the blue sky again.

fullsizeoutput_3e7

Back in the sixty’s (When most of your were toddlers), the geodome was a big item. It was supposed to be energy-efficient and better for the planet. Here is the only one in town.

fullsizeoutput_3e8

Another unique style is the octagon shaped house. Here are a number which make up a neighborhood. They are all on stilts and have eight sides. I can’t imagine what the insides look like.

fullsizeoutput_3e9

Here is a closer shot of the two on the end in the photo above. I like that peaked roof.

fullsizeoutput_3ea

Here is a photo of another pair. Notice the sun flair on the left. The sun was right behind that palm tree, and I was hoping I would avoid it. As you can see, I didn’t.

fullsizeoutput_3eb

Those blue signs on the railing indicate that the home is available for rent by the day or month. This is not a neighborhood in which you would want to be a permanent resident

fullsizeoutput_3ec

I hope you enjoyed the tour and this wraps up the home view of the neighborhood

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Glass”

January 21, 2017January 20, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “glass.” I have captured the exact words of Mistress Linda Hill

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January is: “glass.” Use the word “glass,” or find something that’s made of it and use that in your post. Have fun!”

Notice the command to have fun. I think I will take that very seriously. If you would like to join in here is the link to Linda’s post. You can get all the information there.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS and #JusJoJan Jan. 21/17

“What is this necklace made of?”

“Oh, that piece. It is cut glass.”

“It is certainly lovely.”

“Yes. The artist put many hours into each facet. He wanted to duplicate the cut of diamonds.”

“The look is very much like diamonds.”

“You have great taste. This is one of a kind.”

“How much is it?”

“Let me see. Ah yes here’s the tag. It’s three thousand.”

“My goodness. I would have thought it was a little cheaper.”

“If these were real diamonds this necklace would be over a hundred thousand.”

“Oh, I know. Do you have a diamond necklace like this?”

“Why yes, we do.”

“I would like to see it.”

“Certainly. Wait a minute I need to go in the back and get it.”

“That is no problem. Take your time.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“My that didn’t take long.”

“No, but before I open the box, we require your ID.”

“Oh so that I don’t run away with it?”

“It is just policy. You understand?”

“Of course I do. Here I’ll get my ID out of my purse. I have two names.”

“Two names?”

“Yes, Smith and Wesson.”

“Is that a gun.”

“My goodness, you are very quick. Give me the box, and no one gets hurt.”

“Please don’t. This will come out of my salary.”

“I think you’d better quit today then since it will take a lifetime to pay back a hundred grand. Give me the box.”

“Here you go. Please point that thing somewhere but at me.”

“Now you behave, and I’m going to leave and as you can see no one gets hurt.”

“I won’t be able to get married now.”

“What?”

“My fiancée and I were counting on my job to make ends meet. He’s in Med school.”

“Oh please. This affects me how?”

“Just thought you should know you are ruining two lives.”

“Stop crying. I had a fiancée once.”

“What happened?”

“Never mind. Here take the damn necklace.”

“Really? Oh, you are the best.”

“I just hope he’s worth it.”

“He is. Take the glass one. At least you’ll have a beautiful necklace.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah, I can cover the three thousand over time.”

“That’s okay. You take care. Give that man a kiss from me. Have a great wedding.”

“I love your bag by the way.”

“Thanks. Got it at Neiman’s. Bye now.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

January 20, 2017January 19, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 53 Comments

Funny Friday

This week was interesting. I finished up the final edit on My GRL. Now on to formatting (yay). The formatting should be complete by this time next week. I had a super promotion on Our Justice. I ran two separate media events. The EReader News Today event was far and away the most successful. The BookGoodies event produced a few sales, but the ENT success was in the scale of ten to one sales over BookGoodies. I purposely left the price of Our Justice at $0.99 for both events so I could get an accurate comparison. The cost of the events was $40 for ENT and $25.00 for BookGoodies. Regarding efficiency, there is no question ENT is the most efficient. I will say BookGoodies did produce a bump in sales which other programs have not. I’m still in the dark about what works. I will keep trying, though. Today’s JohnKu talks about trying different things until you find the best solution. Have a great weekend.

Many options there,

Pick this one now then that one. . .

One will work someday.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Last Day of the Our Justice Sale at $.99 #RRBC

January 19, 2017January 18, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 29 Comments

OUR JUSTICE

This is the last day of the Our Justice sale.

$o.99 US Amazon link

£0.99 UK Amazon link

Also, Our Justice is being featured on BookGoodies this week. Here is a link in case you want to check it out.

Thank you all for the wonderful response to this promotion.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

January 18, 2017January 16, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story day again. Last week we left Alice being warned about having underaged sex with Lucas by Seth Gibson the Sheriff. There seems to be some history between Alice and Seth. If I didn’t know better, I would say they ex-lovers. Anyway, it looks like the sheriff still carries a torch for Alice. I don’t know of another explanation for his rudeness. I figure by now Lucas is finished cleaning his brushes and ready to go with Alice to her place. Let’s go there and find out.
“Okay, Ma— I mean Alice. I’m ready to go.”
“Before we go, Lucas, I need to ask you a question.”
“Sure what is it.”
“How old are you.”
“Now that’s a funny question. What did the sheriff say to you?”
“He read me the riot act about underage sex.”
“What about it?”
“I guess he thinks you are younger than eighteen and he said he would be watching me.”
“My goodness. Is he one of your boyfriends?”
“What makes you ask that?”
“I think he wants to keep you for himself.”
“Naw. He is not a boyfriend. We do have history but not like that.”
“What kind of history?”
“Oh, you don’t need to bother that pretty little head with Seth Gibson nonsense. Maybe some other time I’ll tell you. So how old are you?’
“He must have really got to you. What if I said I was seventeen?”
“That would make me pause to think about what Seth said.”
“Okay, I’m not seventeen. In fact, I’m twenty. Does that make you feel better?”
“Now that you mention it, Lucas, there isn’t much difference between seventeen and twenty is there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say I’ve had a bit of a cold shower and need a rain check on a visit to your place.”
“Aw Alice. Don’t let that old coot play with your mind.”
“That’s just it, Lucas.”
“What?”
“Seth and I went to high school together. We’re the same age. I’m going to do some errands. I’ll see you later.”
“Promise?”
“See you later, Lucas.”

Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #106

January 17, 2017January 16, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Kreative Kue with Keith Channing is back. Here is Keith’s explanation of what is going on. “Using this photo (Below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #106

“So how far is your place?”

“It is just over that next rise.”

“It seems like we have been walking for hours.”

“Yeah. Sorry about the car. I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but it just quits like that sometimes.”

“No real harm. it’s a beautiful day, and I can always use the exercise.”

“You are a great sport. You know that?”

“Well, it isn’t like you caused the car to stop.”

“No. It does make me believe I should think about buying another, though.”

“It is such a beautiful car. What year is it?”

“A classic 1932 Rolls.”

“Oh, I know the brand. I just love the older styles.”

“Except when they stop dead in the road.”

“Well, I’m sure your mechanic can fix it.”

“How did you know I had a mechanic.”

“Oh, my. Now I’m embarrassed.”

“Tell me why?”

“Well, when you asked me out I did a little checking, and I assume you have a mechanic.”

Ah ha. And what did you find in this checking?”

“That you are a descendant of the royal family and are an Earl.”

“Oh dear. I hope you won’t hold that against me.”

“On the contrary, I think it is quite attractive.”

“Anything else?”

“You live in a castle that was built in the fourteenth century, and you have acres and acres of land.”

“I must say it is all true. How does that make you feel.”

“As if you are a handsome prince and I am Snow White.”

“Ha ha ha. I like that. Well, here we are. You can see our place in two more steps.”

“Uh. That pile of rocks is your place?”

“Why yes. Yes, it is.”

“You live there?”

“Most of the time except when it gets cold. There is no heat.”

“Where do you go when there is no heat?”

“The YMCA mostly. Sometimes I stay in my car. Want to take a closer look?”

“How far is it to town again?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Wine Tasting

January 16, 2017January 15, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

Wine Tasting

The inspiration for this list is attendance at some wine tasting events in my time. My wife worked as a marketing person for a winery in Northern California and was required to taste wine every week. Of course, she was a professional and would take delight in witnessing some of the events listed. Since I was well schooled by her, I never made these faux pas. (I would have died on the spot if I had.) I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not insist on special glasses to claim to have a full tasting experience. If you do, at best the rest of the gathering will take you for an idiot. At worst, the host will produce special glasses, and then you will be on the spot to render an erudite opinion. (Up to tonight your experience has been Boon’s Farm Apple Red right, Buford?)

9 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not throw back the wine as if it is a shot of tequila. If you do, at best your drink preference and sophistication will show through. At worst, you will find yourself all alone as the discussion turns to the merits of the wine. (No one cares what you think about wine and probably think your chewing tobacco will get in the way of an honest opinion anyway, Tex.)

8 If you are attending a wine tasting, don’t forget the crackers are to cleanse the palette, not a meal. If you do, at best the host will move them away from you. At worst, you might be subtly offered a place in the kitchen where the host promises a bucket of fried chicken and a six-pack of Keystone Light. (You think that offer might be not so bad until you see the look on your spouse’s face huh, Bunky?)

7 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not start describing the various flavors of the wine unless you know what you are talking about. If you do, at best you will get polite nods at your incredible ignorance. At worst someone will ask the host to send you to the store for more crackers. (You will find out coal oil is not a legitimate taste on the flavor wheel, Buster.)

6 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not try to sneak Two- Buck Chuck in a brown bag into the line-up.If you do, at best the host security system video will show your placement of the bottle. At worst, one of the wine snobs will involuntarily spew the wine on Tiny the WWF champ.(Right now Tiny is going from guest to guest demanding to know who brought the wine. You have always been a bad liar, and your turn is next right, Weenie?)

5 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not forget you are not supposed to swallow the wine. If you do, at best you will need a ride home. At worst, you will decide to inform all the guests just what you think of each personally identifying what you consider a flaw in their personality needing correction. (The next morning is going to be a beauty especially when you learn what you called your boss.)

4 If you are attending a wine tasting, it is best not to wear a white shirt. If you forget, at best you are very careful and escape embarrassment. At worst, someone asks a question and surprises you just as you raise the glass to your lips. (Maybe that shirt will make a nice car wax rag or a tie-dye coverup.)

3 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not over swirl your wine. If you do at best, your glass will be big enough to keep the wine under control. At worst, your red wine swirl will go outside the glass, and land on the white linen couch which the host just explained was made to order and arrived this afternoon. (Make no mistake you are now the proud owner of a stained couch, Cowboy.)

2 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not ask for ice for your wine. If you do, at best your host will take your wine. At worst your host will ask you to go to the convenience store to pick up a twenty-pound bag. (It is hoped that the tasting is over before you can return, Slick.)

1 If you are attending a wine tasting, try not to argue with experts about the quality of a particular wine. If you do, at best even if you are right you will look particularly brutish. At worst, one of the experts just got his graduation certificate from the anger management course mandated by the courts after being arrested for assaulting a wine steward at a restaurant for disagreeing with him on wine quality. (Looks like a knuckle sandwich is on the menu, Pal.)

Views of the Neighborhood

January 15, 2017January 14, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

This week I thought it would be interesting to give you an idea of the kinds of houses we have in Port Aransas. I ran out yesterday and took some shots of the various architecture types that one would find here.

The first was taken in what is referred to as “old town,” which is the original settlement.

Port A Houses

As you can see plenty of wires. House up off the ground. Pretty typical. You will also find some unique houses. Here is one.

P.A. Houses

You can also see some houses that have shack-like quality

P.A. Houses

Notice the boat is bigger than the house. This next one is very unusual. I swear I could hear a wolf call when I stepped out of the car. P.A.Houses

Moving away from old town but still near the water, the houses take on a distinct “stilt” flavor. This was the type of construction recognizing the effects of hurricane sea surge. The idea is to let the water run under the house.

P.A. Houses

Notice the Santa still there. The next is an example of the style of home built away from the water and in more like a subdivision.

P.A. Homes

This one could be in any city in America. The next is a home right on the beach. This one was built in the seventies, and very few homes are being constructed on the beach anymore.

P.A.Houses

The newer homes in Port Aransas take on a more palatial tone. P.A Houses

Yes, this is one house. The new architecture is more creative and reflects the southern tropical tradition. Here is a shot of a street in a new development.

P.A. Houses

Here is an older development but you can see the same influence

P.A.Houses

I hope you enjoyed the little tour. Last week I ran a poll to see which of five photos should be placed in the header. The winner with over 44% of the vote is candidate number three, the thunderstorm in the Gulf. It is now the header till spring. Here it is again

Header Picture

Thank you all for voting.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “P”

January 14, 2017January 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

Partaking in more of the good stuff it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is the letter “p.” Here is what the dungeon master Linda Hill has ordered. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January is: A word that starts with “P.” Find a word that begins with the letter “p,” and make it the theme of your post. Bonus points for starting and ending your post with a “p” word. Enjoy!”

There you have it, and now you have the reason I started this post with the word “partaking.” If you would like to jump in and do this as well, go to Linda’s post right here and read about it.