Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Body Parts

October 23, 2021October 22, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

It was fortunate to find a nice quiet spot in the park where listening to the birds and enjoying the absence of human voices was possible. Spreading out a blanket fashioned in the design of the tartan of my maternal Grandmother, who was an immigrant from Scotland, made the strange park scene seem like home. Then, settling back and taking a Topo Chico out of the cooler, the process of pecking away at the latest story began.

Out of the corner of my eye, there was a flash, but when looking directly, there was nothing. Since seeing things has been part of my life for eons, a shoulders shrug was followed by a return to work. While typing away, a feeling of not being alone crept over me. You may have had the feeling at one time. You know you want to turn around and look behind you but are very reluctant to do so since it might be something you don’t want to see. It became apparent that the birds felt keeping quiet was the better part of valor in the stillness.

That’s when the hair stood up on my neck, and my flight response kicked into high gear. Not able to move fast enough before being grabbed from behind by a big smelly beast. Wanting to scream but prevented by a slippery hand sliding over my mouth, cutting off all sound. The calloused hand was wet with a slick substance that had a strong copper odor. Anyone who has read a horror story knows precisely what covered the hand.

The gag response decided to react to the smell, and after several involuntary moves, the beast released its grip. It threw me to the ground and put a singular finger to its lips accompanied by a widening of the eyes that signaled for me to shut the hell up. Taking the opportunity to size up the beast, the first stunner was the impression that whoever made this thing used several different body parts. Neither arm matched. One was hairy and one smooth. The legs looked like they were taken from a horse. The head resembled a Yeti without the good looks. “What chew lookin’ at bub.” Were the first words spoken. I stammered that I had never seen anything like it before, and it explained that it was the new prototype USPS postal person.

Immediately a thought came to mind about the blood on its hands. It explained that the last delivery was a side of beef, and it had not had a chance to wash up. The thing finally handed me an envelope and inside I found a message from Linda Hill. It read

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “body parts.” Pick a body part and talk about it. Make sure to leave a comment below or put a disclaimer at the top of your post if it’s NSFW! There are people who participate in SoCS and love to support others, but not everyone will want to read about private parts. Have fun!

If you would like to have, fun visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/10/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-23-2021/

“So who made the monster out of body parts?”

“I think the feds.”

“Legs from a horse?”

“Fast delivery.”

“OMG. You have finally flipped.”

“Come on it’s a stupid story.”

“Where did the USPS monster go?”

“Had more rounds.”

“Side of beef?”

“Neither rain, sleet, snow, dead of night, or cow carcass will keep them from their appointed rounds.”

“I need a drink after all that.”

“Should I call the USPS?”

“I think I’m going to use UPS from now on.’

“It’s fiction for heaven’s sake.”

“Just the same.”

“I think I’m going to have a VooDoo Ranger IPA.”

“To go with your warped sense of fiction.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF and Good News Friyay

October 22, 2021October 21, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 92 Comments

It is Friday again, and we are so grateful that we didn’t miss it. Today is also Good News Friyay, and we have two stories.

The first story is about the preliminary test of the Boyan Slat ‘Jenny’ Ocean clean-up system.

Boyan Slat’s team removed 20,000 pounds of plastic debris from one of the significant “plastic islands” in the Pacific on the first trial of his System 002 nicknamed “Jenny.” It is a system where two boats pull a u-shaped collection device. (pictured) “The Great Pacific Garbage Patch can now be cleaned,” announced Dutch entrepreneur Boyan Slat, the wunderkind inventor who’s spent a decade inventing systems for waterborne litter collection. This means the 1.4 trillion pieces of plastic down to 1mm in size can be removed from the oceans by 2040.

A shot of the plastic picked up. See any of your stuff in there?

Our second story is just plain good news for one person Randy Bachman of The Guess Who and Bauchman Turner Overdrive. Of course, we can all feel good about one guy who heard the story of Randy having his guitar stolen out of his hotel room and searched the world till he found it.

William Long is a fan of Bachman’s and he heard that Randy had worked long and hard as a kid to buy the $400.00 1957 Gretsch 6120 Chet Atkins model in Western Orange. The guitar was stolen in 1976 and Long did some internet work and found it in Tokoyo Japan. Long reached out to Bachman who in turn had his Japanese daughter-in-law contact the current owner. The owner was more than pleased to return the guitar to Bachman if a replacement could be found. Bachman went to work and found one that was made at the same time on the same bench. This was out of the 40 Gretsch’s known to exist. An exchange is being arranged. The good news of this story is someone cared enough to look for the guitar and another cared enough to return it to it’s original owner.

Today’s JohnKu talks about helping each other. I hope you have a grand weekend.

When we see someone,

Who needs help out of trouble. . .

Do we lend a hand?

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Gets a New Ball

October 21, 2021October 20, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 104 Comments

“What is that thing, Little one?”

“It’s a new ball, and I’m nuts for it.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m coming up to see it.”

“I didn’t think you liked balls.”

“It’s not that I don’t like balls. I just don’t like to play with them too much.”

“So you are not interested in this one?”

“Let’s see. Shaped like a football and little nubs on it. In a word, no.”

“Well, I sure am enjoying it.”

“I can see that. You’re going to be thirsty after all that drool.”

“Comes with the territory. Mmm. This tastes like bacon.”

“You don’t have to run. I’m not fond of rubber bacon.”

“Well, you never know. I should keep my mouth shut.”

“No. I’m glad you told me, but it still doesn’t make a difference. I’ll pass.”

“You are a paragon of self-control for sure.”

“I don’t know about self-control, but a green football is not high on my prey list.”

“I have a hard time resisting it. What a treat.”

“I don’t suppose you are interested in the fact that squirrel is having his way with the acorns, are you?”

“He’ll be there tomorrow. For today it’s the green ball or nothing.”

“I think you might be better off with nothing.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 334 by Keith Channing

October 19, 2021October 18, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 60 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

“Okay, you want to tell me what made you do that?”

“What?”

“Tell the boss that he could take a hike.”

“He was getting on my nerves.”

“For heaven’s sake. That’s what humans do.”

“Well, I just couldn’t take any more.”

“Your barking was getting annoying.”

“Did you see all those people we passed?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“They needed to be taught a lesson.”

“Which is?”

“This is my Earth, and you need to get off.”

“Says the narcissistic sociopath.”

“Aw, come on. You know you would like to bark those idiots to mars.”

“But I don’t, and that is the difference.”

“I would say the boss needed to be taught a lesson.”

“Which was.”

“Don’t stand between a dog and his bark.”

“Okay. Maybe you need to be taught a lesson too.”

“And what would that be?”

“How to start and drive a car.”

“Yeah. Maybe I was a bit rash.”

“You think?”

Top Ten Things Not to do with Stuff You Find

October 18, 2021October 17, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 77 Comments

This list was originally posted on October 18th, 2015. I think I might still be helpful.

* * *

This list is inspired by going through some boxes recently and coming across some unusual things. Of course, most of what follows is made up, so I didn’t have these experiences. I would ask the Wall Street Journal to fact-check entirely before using this story.

Top Ten Things Not to do with Stuff You Find

10 If you find an unopened box, don’t open it. If you do, at best, you might find someone’s old toss-outs or laundry. At worst, you may find the remains of last year’s Thanksgiving dinner that was supposed to be thrown out. (You still can’t get the image out of your brain)

9 If you find a lawnmower at the side of the road, do not pick it up. If you do, at best, you will find out why it was thrown away. At worst, you will put it in a garage sale only to have the original owner accuse you of theft. (How he knew it was his is anyone’s guess)

8 If you find a lamp that has washed up on the beach, do not rub it. If you do, at best, it will turn out to be made in China. At worst, you will be given three wishes by a fierce-looking genie, and you won’t get it right. (You thought you would be clever when you asked for a million bucks and now have a deer-feed bill that won’t quit)

7 If you find what you think is a treasure chest in your backyard, leave it where it is. If you don’t, at best, you will find it full of smelly dirt. At worst, it will have things inside carrying a Blackbeard curse. (Go ahead and try to spend those doubloons before your hand falls off)

6 If you find what looks like a bomb in your garage, run away. If you don’t, at best, it is only a handmade school project. At worst, old man Jones finally made good on his threat to” blow you to kingdom come.” (Suddenly you remember he used to work for a demolition company)

5 If you find a set of golf clubs at a garage sale, don’t buy ’em. If you do, at best, you will find they weren’t worth what you paid for them, even if it was only a dollar. At worst, once you take up the game, you will find out why they were for sale in the first place. (How’s that high blood pressure medicine working for you?)

4 If you find a washer on the curb of your neighborhood, leave it there. If you don’t, at best, you will only be successful in relocating it to your curb. At worst, you will spend the time and trouble to hook it up only to find the spin, and the empty cycle doesn’t work. (Soaking wet clothes weigh a ton. Right?)

3 If you find a strange object with colored lights in the woods behind your house, call the police. If you don’t, at best, it is only your neighbor testing the outdoor Christmas tree lights. At worst, you will be asked to join the expedition to a funny place where they will run experiments on you and then send you back. (You say no one believes your story? Really?)

2 If you find a note on the kitchen table, pretend not to see it. If you don’t, at best, it is an old shopping list. At worst, it is a goodbye note with the name of a lawyer at the bottom who is now your only contact. (And you thought being nice was something you didn’t have to do)

1 If you find a large, five-toed animal footprint in the yard, call animal control. If you don’t, at best, it is nothing but the neighbor’s new dog. At worst, it is the long-lost Yeti-like drooling, smelly, hairy thing that is now taking up residence in your shed and suddenly has a thing for you. (Just smile, and maybe it will go away).

Views of the Neighborhood – Grand Re-Opening of the Hills Golf Course

October 17, 2021October 16, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 91 Comments

Today we are going to a big event in Lakeway. The Hills County Club golf course was designed by Jack Nicklaus and opened in 1981. The course has undergone a major renovation led by the Jack Nicklaus team and is now ready for play. The ribbon-cutting ceremony and the official opening are what we are going to visit. Our brunch is being catered by Le Politique of Austin. Our entertainment is Linda Ronstadt.

CROQUE MONSIEUR Griddled ham & comté cheese sandwich, sauce mornay, dijon+ add a fried egg

STEAK FRITES 10oz grilled Texas ribeye, red wine herb butter, fries, sauce béarnaise (

SEARED SNAPPER PROVENÇAL Seared tomatoes, niçoise olives, and onions, parsley lemon foam

CHICKEN PAILLARD Breaded chicken, capers, brown butter, lemon, farm lettuce

TROUT ALMONDINE Seared trout, rice pilaf, lemon brown butter, toasted almonds

ROYALE WITH CHEESE Grass-fed beef, caramelized onions, swiss & gruyère cheese, Russian dressing, pickles, fries

OMELETTE Free-range local eggs, Boursin pepper cheese, butter lettuce

PARISIAN GNOCCHI Seared mushrooms, brandy-infused cream sauce

MOULES FRITES Bouchot mussels, white wine broth, crème fraîche, thyme, sourdough

Hop on the bus, and let’s go.

The sky is threatening rain.

The registration desk.

Play Yellow is a children’s charity established by Jack Nicklaus to benefit Dell’s Children’s Medical Center in Austin and Nicklaus Children’s Hospital in Florida. The Hills Country Club has taken on Play Yellow as its charity.

The ribbon-cutting scissors.

Speeches by the Club President and a video featuring Jack Nicklaus.

Tom Kite, (left) a former US Open winner, will hit the ceremonial first ball off the first tee.

Cutting the ribbon on the first tee. A group of the club officer and Tom Kite.

Tom’s shot. You can see the ball just off the clubhead beginning its rise to the fairway.

Also on the agenda was a putting contest that offered a $25,000 first prize to the winner and $25,000 to Play Yellow for sinking a 150-yard putt. Unfortunately, none of the four finalists made it. The second prize was for closest to the pin.

A photo was taken with a waterfall backdrop back when the course was new. All Masters Tournament winners – Byron Nelson, Jack Nicklaus, Charles Cootie, and Ben Crenshaw.

The waterfall today.

I hope you enjoyed our outing now. Sit back and enjoy the brunch and music. I hope you have a wonderful week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “If”

October 16, 2021October 15, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

If I could find the time, I planned to go to the Home Depot and pick up some stain for the fence. The sad thing was I became so involved in a story that the day got away from me. I was writing a story about a guy wanting to buy a new motorcycle. He was very excited to be going to the motorcycle shop to pick out the new bike. He knew he wanted one in black but was unsure if he wished to use chrome or black trim. His friends all voted for the chrome, but he thought it might be too much.

Finally, the time came for him to start out for his appointment with the sales clerk. For the occasion, he put on his black jeans and Harley t-shirt. He had never owned a Harley but felt the t-shirt might give him some credibility when talking to the clerk. Of course, he knew everything there was to know about Harleys. He had been saving for ten years and studied the bikes since he decided to buy one once he had the money.

Leaving his house and opening the door of his Ford Focus, he noticed a strange vehicle heading his way. It was nothing he had ever seen before on a main street. As the speeding machine got closer, he could make out that it was a giant steam roller that looked like it was out of control. When it jumped the curb and rolled over his Focus, he was left holding what was left of the door. The operator jumped down and thanked him for helping stop the out-of-control menace. The guy was still in shock but nodded to acknowledge the compliment. The operator then handed him an envelope and a card and told him to call the company and his car would be taken care of for sure. The operator walked away. The guy looked at the envelope and had a thought that his car was just as flat. He opened the envelope and here’s what was written on a piece of paper. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “if.” Start your post with the word “If.” Enjoy!

If you would like to enjoy go to Linda Hill’s blog and read how easy it is. Here is the link.

https://lindaghill.com/2021/10/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-16-2021/

“If you had not taken all the words, we might have had some fun with the prompt.”

“I guess you didn’t like it.”

“Well, for one. Did the guy get his Harley?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ‘I don’t know?'”

“I didn’t finish the story.”

“You said it took you all day.”

“Well, some things can’t be rushed.”

“How did the operator know to give the guy the envelope?”

“He was clairvoyant.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, slight plot hole.”

“Slight? You could drive a car through that hole. How wasn’t the guy killed standing there staring at a runaway steam roller like a dope.”

“As I said, he was left with the door. Obviously, the roller missed him.”

“But holding the door, he would’ve been dragged into the wreckage.”

“Apparently not.”

“Dumb story.”

“Thank you. You get to buy the beer because of your sharp review skills.”

“Did you ever get the stain?”

“No.”

“Okay, we’ll stop on the way to the pub.”

“I’m not sure of the color yet.”

“So you never were going to get stain?”

“No.”

“You ought to be in jail for fraud.”

“Poetic license.”

“It should be revoked. Let’s go.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF – Good News

October 15, 2021October 14, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 99 Comments

Hey, Friday, welcome back. It is so good to see you. We all could use a weekend, and I think you arrived just in time.

Today’s good news includes an animal story and an octogenarian story. Since I’m also an octogenarian, let’s do the animal story first, so at least we know we’ll get that one covered.

This is the story of a bull Elk and a couple of wildlife officers who cared.

About two years ago, a bull elk was spotted on a trail camera sporting a tire around its neck. It was evident that the tire posed no threat to the animal’s health, but since it could become entangled in the brush, it was decided to try and remove it. Four attempts were made over the period, and finally, last Saturday, officers Dawson Swanson and Scott Murdoch were successful in cornering the animal and removing the tire. Here is a video of the elk which led the officers to its location.

The saga of the bull elk with a tire around its neck is over. Thanks to the residents just south of Pine Junction on CR 126 for reporting its location, wildlife officers were able to free it of that tire Saturday.

Story: https://t.co/WHfkfPuAck

📸's courtesy of Pat Hemstreet pic.twitter.com/OcnceuZrpk

— CPW NE Region (@CPW_NE) October 11, 2021

The other good news story is about an 81-year-old music teacher who is suffering from dementia. Paul Harvey had taught music for 20 years, and before that, he was a composer and classical pianist. Five years ago, Paul began living in a memory care facility. Last September, he composed a two-minute piece using just four notes-F natural, A, D, and B natural. His son Nick posted Paul playing the composition on Twitter. The post went viral. Paul’s piece was recorded by the BBC Philharmonic orchestra and sold as a singe. The proceeds went to Alzheimer’s Society and Music for Dementia, which campaigns for music access for people with dementia.

Here is Paul playing his Four Notes piece. For the BBC Breakfast show. The first Twitter post by Nick Harvey will not play. Just skip to the second.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1320621712753524736

Paul was invited to conduct the BBC Philharmonic orchestra playing his Four Notes and an earlier composition named Where’s the Sunshine to mark the first anniversary of the recording. Here is a video with the whole story about Paul. His son reports that he is back with them while playing the piano.

Today’s JohnKu talks about hope and caring. I wish you all a beautiful weekend.

Four Lettered Words

A four-lettered word,

Can be more than disgusting . . .

Like hope and care can.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy and Twiggy Are Back

October 14, 2021October 13, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 96 Comments

“Hey, you two. I think you ought to go out and play.”

“Our week off is over?”

“Boy, that went quick, Lucy.”

“Well, you know what they say. Time flys when you are having fun.”

“What are you going to do on the patio?”

“The same thing I was doing on the bed.”

“I was thinking of starting a rock collection.”

“There are enough here for sure. I don’t think the cabana boy’s been here for a while.”

“I think something is lurking in the dark place.”

“You always say that, Little one.”

“Yeah, I know. This time I think it is real, though.”

“Let’s just relax on the lounges and take a break. The first day back is hard.”

“I’m just not going to be able to relax until I find out what’s back there.”

“Just go then. I won’t be able to talk you out of it.”

“You were right. Nothing back there.”

“Why are you running then?”

“To get the old heart rate up there.”

“You look a little concerned to me.”

“Naw, I can tell you there is nothing there. Let’s go back to the house. There’s no sun today anyway.”

“I suppose we could do the starving dog impersonation and maybe beg a treat.”

“I have to tell you the truth. There was an ugly spider back there.”

“You afraid of a little ole spider?”

“With green eyes? I sure am.”

“Oh, please. You are fine. I’ll scratch the door.”

“Don’t you just love how mom reacts to that?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #333 by Keith Channing

October 12, 2021October 11, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 59 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.