The inspiration for this list is the approaching holidays where families all gather around and play a board game or two. I hope you enjoy the list.

10 If you are playing a board game, do not insist on using the same token as last year. If you d,  at best, you will be teased for being a stick in the mud. At worst, you’ll have to sit out the game since your older brother already laid claim to the piece. (You believe he did that on purpose don’t you, Chester?)

9 If you are playing a board gamed, not argue with  Tiny the WWF champ who is spending the holidays at your house as part of a prison holiday release program, when he lays down a scrabble word XXZZWMP. If you do, at best you’ll need to leave the game. At worst, you’ll need to find some ice for that black eye. (Mama said not to argue with Tiny didn’t she, Conor?)

8 If you are playing a board game, do not think by getting monopolies on all the properties you will win. If you do, at best no one will have money left. At worst, you could be the cause of your unemployed brother-in-law to go off the deep end. (Maybe you should have let him have a few wins Collin. You need to talk him down off the roof.)

7 If you are playing a board game, do not start belly aching if you must go to jail. If you do, at best the other players will make fun of you. At worst, you will cause everyone to decide to do something different. (Not much fun playing the game alone is it, Cyrus?)

6 If you are playing a board game, do not try to mark the career cards so you can pick the best career. If you do, at best you might get caught. At worse, even if you cheat you lose anyway. (How does this happen, Chance? With a name like yours you could have just played the game.)

6 If you are playing a board game, do not shout out who killed Mr. Boddy of Tudor Mansion until all the clues are exposed. If you do, at best the game is over. At worst, you will be eating Thanksgiving dinner outside on the porch. (Kind of chilly here in Minnesota at Thanksgiving huh, Cecil?)

5 If you are playing a board game, do not set that BIG GULP cup too close to the game. If you do, at best the condensation off the cup may get some money wet. At worst, an excited player will inadvertently tip the cup over. (Guess where all that soda went, Cormac? Yup that’s right the tsunami of Coke and ice wiped the game out and FEMA doesn’t want to hear about it.)

4 If you are playing a board game, do not think you have to play until there is a clear winner. If you do at best, it will be hours. At worst, the game could go on for the entire weekend. ( you planned on doing other things, didn’t you Crispin? Like take a shower.)

3 If you are playing a board game, do not slip from reality. If you do, at best others will notice. At worst, you will need to decompress once the game is over. (Your psychologist is not available on Sundays, Carlin. You need to lay down.)

2 If you are playing a board game, do not try to confuse your fellow players with some off the wall move. If you do, at best you will be reminded to stick to the rules. At worst, you off the wall move will backfire and you’ll lose all your gold. (Now what are you going to use for food huh, Chase? Beginning to feel the specter of starvation aren’t you? What was that about reality?)

1 If you are playing a board game, do not think the rest of the players don’t notice your extra helpings of $100.00 bills as you do your banking duties. If you do, at best you’ll be asked to return the bills. At worst you will be formally banned from the family games and turned over to the justice department for bank fraud. (Okay so the justice department is not interested, Curt. It is still mighty embarrassing.)