Ten Things Not to Do During a Full Moon

October 17, 2016October 16, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

Full Moon

Since last night the Hunter’s Moon was full, I was inspired to give some thought as to what we should never do during a full moon. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, for you scientists out there this is all made up. I write fiction, so when looking for truth, I would suggest anyplace, but here.

Ten Things Not to Do During a Full Moon

10 If there is a full moon, do not go into a graveyard just to see what will happen. If you do, at best you will challenge your all time best heart rate. At worst, the total recall of Blair Witch Project will have you running for your life. (So you thought you had everything under control didn’t you?)

9 If there is a full moon, do not ask that cloaked stranger for directions. If you do, at best it will be too distracted by the moon to answer you. At worst, it will offer you a ride which is your last. (Those hairy hands should have been a big clue)

8 If there is a full moon, do not back into any rooms period. If you do, at best you might trip and fall. At worst, that snarling thing that you thought you saw in the backyard is now on your back. (Every movie goer knows better, Bunkie)

7 If there is a full moon, do not act on the urge to make hay. If you do, at best there won’t be a lot of grass where you live. At worst, the farmer will think you are poaching his hay and call the police. (Or worse yet use that rock salt-loaded shotgun to clear his field.)

6 if there is a full moon, do not think your neighbors would appreciate a serenade about the moon and a spoon. If you do think so, at best you will suddenly realize why the term “rotten tomatoes,” is used to rate talent. At worst, the magistrate will have a tough time trying to justify letting you go free. (Maybe the psychological evaluation will put everyone at ease)

5 If there is a full moon, resist the urge to skinny dip. If you can’t, at best a quick dip with no one, the wiser will be your fate. At worst, after the dog takes your clothes and you are chasing him the spotlight of your neighbor’s security system bathes you in the light of high noon. (There is a tape that goes with that light, and your neighbor has a pretty high price tag on it)

4 If there is a full moon, under no circumstances do you need to harvest anything. If this advice falls on deaf ears, at best stick with canned goods. At worst, your quest for a fresh pumpkin at Whole Foods after hours could net you a free night in the county lock-up.( Your roommate Tiny is just not the type to feel good about you after the slamming cell door at midnight.)

3 If there is a full moon, do not argue with the traffic officer who just pulled you over. If you do, at best you’ve guaranteed yourself a ticket. At worst, the officer may be a graduate of an anger management treatment series. (Seems that his events are always triggered during a full moon)

2 If there is a full moon, do not enter a political chat room with the idea of defending your choice for President. If you do, at best you will be able to turn off your computer. At worst, somehow the room has discovered your real identity and are threatening to come right over. (Looks like you might need to leave town for a while huh Grover?)

1 If there is a full moon, do not answer your door or your phone. If you do, at best it will be someone you know. At worst, there will be a character you’ve never known saying, “I know what you did last summer.” (Yeah, this one is bad. You need to run now.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Plywooden Boat Festival

October 16, 2016October 15, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

The sign below says it all. This is the Plywooden (Not plywood. Thank you, autocorrect) Boat Festival.

Plywooden Boat

This is an annual event that brings boat builders from all over Texas. The main material in the boats is plywood but since that word gives visions of poor quality the correct term is Plywooden. As you will see there is a whole host of different boats and all built by hand.

Plywooden boats

This first photo is of a unique sailboat. It has the look of a 1950’s Studebaker. Also take a look at the little bay boats to the right. The next photo shows one under construction.

Here is a long-boat that is powered by oars

If you want a cozy sailing yacht here would be your choice. (Watch your head when you go below)

For a quick run about this may do the trick. You will have to be careful you don’t go airborne.

Here is another compact sailboat. You could even put it on top to the SUV with grandma.

Now for real crusin’ here is a fully outfitted salon.

Here is a guy working on his kyack. Looks beautiful in the natural color.

For the fisherman here is a bay fisherman. All hand-made.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Screen”

October 15, 2016October 14, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “screen.” Linda Hill in her benevolence says we can use it any way we want. I don’t know about you, but there are only so many ways to use “screen.” I will do my best but am not counting on extra points. If you would like to join this happy crew, go to Linda’s post and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1516/

“Don’t slam the screen do—”

“What?”

“Never mind. It’s too late.”

“Too late for what?”

“Slamming the flippin screen door.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll try harder next time.”

“Sure you will. Where’ve you been?”

“I was at football practice.”

“So late? How come?”

“We were working on a screen pass.”

“Screen pass? What’s that?”

“Do you know what a shotgun offensive line up is?”

“No.”

“Let’s not get into a screen pass then. Way too complicated.”

“Aw come on. Can’t be that tough.”

“Okay, the quarterback—”

“Who?”

“Aw. Just trust me. It took extra time.”

“I got your application ready for the screening committee.”

“Oh super. Let me look.”

“It says here that I’m an honors student.”

“Yeah. So?”

“I have all C’s”

“You don’t cheat do you?”

“No.”

“You have honor.”

“I don’t think it works that way.”

“Well, it should.”

“You also have me down as a member of the band.”

“You play the guitar, right?”

“How can I be in the band when I play football.?”

“Okay take that one off.”

“I’ll tell you how this screening is going to go. I’m going to be screened out.”

“Who wants that school anyway?”

“I do.”

“Good luck then.”

“It is going to take more than luck.”

“I know that’s why I padded your application a little.”

“How do I get ahead by cheating?”

“Remember the whole idea that anyone can become President ?”

“Sure.”

“Well, there you go. Cheating doesn’t count anymore. Go for it and don’t slam that screen do—”

Friday – JohnKu – AKA -TGIF

October 14, 2016October 12, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 61 Comments

TGIF

Another Friday has been bestowed upon us. I think it came just in time. This last week was hectic and it didn’t help to start it off with a Presidential debate. Someone said the debates are like two divorcing parents fighting over the custody of us and all we want to do is go live with grandma. That pretty much wraps it up. The good news is the bickering will be over by November 8th and then the fun of living under one of the incompetents will begin.

It would be nice to be able to ignore government but since we have allowed the Gov to step into every aspect of our lives that won’t be possible. Air , water, income, health, food, and safety have all been assigned to the Gov to handle. Those we elect to represent us no longer do that well which causes thinking folks to wonder why they are still representing us? We can only hang on and hope for the best. My JohnKu puts a positive spin on the situation. I hope you can laugh and have a wonderful weekend.

They argue and fight,

Finally one gets the nod. . .

There’s no difference.

A Little Personal – James Sharp -A tribute

October 13, 2016October 13, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 78 Comments

I recently went to Detroit to participate in the memorial service for my Uncle, Jim. He was the last of three siblings and died suddenly at the age of ninety-four after a life that included lots of love, some heartbreak, and mostly good health. This post is not about his passing but rather a reminder of the kind of people that his generation represented.

Uncle Jim was a pilot in World War II. He joined the army after Pearl Harbor even though he had a wife and little boy at home. When asked why he joined his response was simple, “I have some talent that should be useful.” He was also only twenty years old. This first photo is Uncle Jim in high school. The dedication on the photo is to his sister, my mother.

Uncle Jim

He was a swimmer, football player, and played a pretty mean game of golf. He married his high school sweetheart and then the war came along. Here is a photo of him, his wife, Maxine and their son Jimmy taken after he finished flight and air combat school.

Uncle Jim

He was transferred to the European theater. Here is a photo of him overseas.

Uncle Jim

Uncle Jim flew thirty missions in support of the war in Europe. He was certified to fly the B25 bomber, the P51 Mustang, and the P38 Lightning. His favorite was the P38 lightning since it was so fast and maneuverable.

Here is a photo montage of all three.

His assignment on these thirty-three missions was to fly an unarmed airplane (Called the F-5 version of the P38) and take pictures of the enemy locations for later targeting. He often laughed about how he posed a real danger to enemy aircraft and ground gunners with his cameras and his .45 caliber sidearm. He was fortunate to be able to out maneuver various threats and still return with the photos needed. I always wondered about the courage it took completing these missions knowing there would be no way to protect himself. He did say that he relied on his training and the speed of his airplane to keep him safe.

Here is a picture of Uncle Jim’s Photo Reconnaissance Unit patch (The 34th Photo Reconnaissance Squadron)

Uncles patch

Here are the medals he earned during his service (He also received the Good Conduct Medal but he felt everyone got one of those.)

European African Middle Eastern Campaign Medal

Also, a poem written by Tom McGuire about the “Recon Joes” as people like my Uncle were named.

To: Photo-Recon Joe
By: Tom McGuire

Of all the Air Force pilots that I most deeply admire,
I give my top-notch vote to Photo-Recon Joe
Who goes it alone, unarmed, and braves the enemy’s fire
By taking crucial photos which spell doom to the Axis foe.

Ahead of his Lightning’s sound, his F‑5 zips in at tree-top level;
Too late they hear him coming, now he’s already gone past
A flashing form, a blast of wind, the Fork-Tail Devil,
His photos taken, speeds home, no higher than a mast.

On lists of fighter aces, his name is never placed,
And sadly, he’s soon forgotten after the war has ended,
But war historians know that priceless F‑5 photos based
The Normandy invasion so air, sea, and land attacks all blended.

“Unescorted, unarmed, and unafraid” Joe wings his gutsy way
Into the lethal Axis Reich, where death waits in that murky air.
But he presses on, he shoots his films, and dearly earns his pay
By these “dicing,” flack-filled missions that only he would dare.

So now I raise a grateful toast to Photo-Recon Joe,
And, Joe, I also bow to you-and believe me, I bow low.

Here is a photo of my uncle taken after his eighty-fifth birthday.

My Uncle

Thank you for all you’ve done, Uncle. You did more than required.

Wednesday Story Time – AKA Hump Day

October 12, 2016October 12, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

funny-college-10-10

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we left Father Lightfoot, Ben, Alexis, Trudy, and Ralph Worthe in a situation where Ralph had a gun aimed at Father Lightfoot. There were several laser dots on Ralph and Trudy Worthe from the outside. Just when we thought Father Lightfoot was going to talk Ralph into putting the gun down, Ralph pulls the trigger. I’m sure you are like me and put your fingers in your ears in order not to hear the subsequent reports from the SWAT team outside. We had better go back to see what happened. If you would rather stay behind, I will give you a full report.
I’m also pleased to open Wednesday Story Time to a sponsorship for each episode. There is no cost, but you have to be okay with being associated with the craziness of the feature. A sponsor can be a blog, book, or event. If you would like to participate send me an e-mail at johnhowell (dot) wave (at) gmail (dot) com. Now let us see what is going on.
“There is a shot in the house.”
“Hold your fire. All members hold your fire.”
“I still have a bead, sir.”
“Just hold your fire and stay with the subject. There is no authorization to take anyone down.”
“Who’s going to give the order?”
“Lightfoot is in charge. We wait for his signal.”
“What if he’s the one hit.”
“That little weapon couldn’t hurt a fly. Just hold on. We’ll give it five minutes. All copy?”
“Copy.”
“Copy here.”
“Copy that.”
“Copy sir.”
“Yes, copy. Not happy but copy.”
“Fine. Just relax everyone. Do not let anyone out of the house. We do not want deadly fire. Repeat no fatal fire. Shoot to stop not kill. Any questions? Okay, I’ll take your silence as an affirmative.”
“Excuse me, sir.”
“What is it, Bates.”
“What if the guy comes out with a weapon.”
“Hit him in the knee.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You can do that can’t you Bates?”
“Yes, sir. Knee sir.”
“Now let’s cut the chatter and keep sharp.”
“Hey you in the yard. Hey, can you hear me?”
“We can hear you. Please identify yourself.”
“I’m Ralph Worthe. Who are you?”
“Agent Matthews. What do you want.?”
“I have a hostage, and I want you people to back off.”
“Who is your hostage?”
“The guy called Lightfoot.”
“Is he okay.”
“Yes. I did shoot him, but he has a vest. My twenty-two just bruised him. I now have him tied up. I can assure you I have nothing to lose and next time I will put one between his eyes.”
“We need to hear from Lightfoot. Do you have a cell phone?”
“Yes I do, but there will be no conversations that I can’t hear.”
“Don’t you think this yelling back and forth is a bit hard on the throat. Put the damn thing on speaker.”
“Uh. Well, I guess that will be okay. Here’s the number five, five, five, six, oh, seven nine. Got it?”
“I got it. I’m calling now.”
“Hello.”
“Yeah Ralph this is Matthews.”
“I swear I will kill this man if my demands aren’t met.”
“Easy Ralph.”
“That’s Mr. Worthe to you.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Review of Fascination by Kevin Brennan

October 11, 2016October 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 19 Comments

fascination

Today I am reviewing the book Fascination by Kevin Brennan. I have read a number of books by this author, and the one thing that strikes me about all of them is how good the writing and interesting the story. Fascination is no exception and in some ways is the best book yet written by Kevin Brennan. (Of course, a statement like that has to be taken in the context of the best of the best)

The story starts simply enough with Sally Speck whose maiden name was Sally Pavlou having to endure the pain of the suicide of her husband, Mason Speck. Sally could not believe Mason was capable of such and act and so she failed to accept the fact that he was dead. Sally is a masseuse and does that for a living. She also is an expert at the arcade game of the 1930’s named Fascination. Sally uses the game to supplement her income but importantly to help her self-esteem in times of trouble.

All her friends and clergy tell Sally to forget about Mason and have a memorial service and move on. Sally finds an airplane ticket jacket in Mason’s car and believes Mason has not died but left town. Her friend Tina Hightower finally in exasperation recommends a private detective she uses for her law firm named Clive Bridle.

The rest of the story is about the quest of Sally to find Mason and the desire of Clive to keep the hunt going as long as possible so that he can be near Sally. It seems Clive has been smitten. Brennan describes the first time Clive laid his eyes on Sally as a “parakeet fluttered ” in Clive’s chest. He goes on to say that Clive didn’t just find her attractive. No, Clive Bridle thought. “She is a genuine muse.”

The writing of this book is so darned good that it could be a lesson text on the proper way to tell a story. The descriptions are succinct yet full of the right details every reader needs to form mental pictures of what is going on. The sights smell and sounds of the scenes of this book are rich in detail yet open enough for the reader to become personally involved in the story by allowing the creation of personal images to go along with what the author has created. The author has also included many photographs that add to the flavor of the story.

Another interesting aspect of Fascination is the book can be bought directly from Kevin Brennan himself. My book is titled John Howell’s Fascination. It also has my name and Kevin’s signature inside. Visit Kevin’s WordPress site and click on “Order Fascination ” on the sidebar.

I would give this book five stars if it were on Amazon. Since it is not I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone who loves fiction that is spellbinding and difficult to put down and who will be sorry to see the book end.

Author’s Cross Promotion. Win Free Books

October 10, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 15 Comments

I am participating in the Author’s Cross Promotion where you can enter to win free books. The promotion is designed to build individual author mailing lists and give readers the potential for more information about their genre of interest. It is easy to enter by clicking on the link above or below. The two grand prizes are all of the books you see here. There are thirty-four individual winners as well.

Win Up To 34 Crime/Thriller/Suspense Novels!

(2) Grand Prize Kindle “Gift Baskets” of ALL eBooks!

(34) Winners of Individual eBooks (randomly selected titles)

Ten Things Not to Do on a Sunday

October 10, 2016October 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

Sunday

The inspiration for this list is the belief that everyone should take at least one day to recoup energy. My time of choice is Sunday. The items on this list are here as a result of observations that others believe differently about Sunday.

10 If it is Sunday, do not start a plumbing self-repair job. If you do, at best it will go well. At worst, you will have somehow caused a major flow of water which can’t be stopped until Monday. (Good luck, chief. All the plumbers are off today and that 24/7 emergency repair line has been busy for twelve hours)

9 If it is Sunday, do not mow your lawn. If you do, at best you will only lose a couple of friends. At worst, you will get a visit from Tiny (The WWF world champion) who has a severe case of sleep apnea, and you just woke him up from his first nap in days. (I would use those new Nike’s for speed Buster)

8 If it is Sunday, refrain from using that shop vac to clean out your car. If you use it, at best most of your neighbors will be at church or inside and won’t hear it. At worst, the one neighbor who has anger issues which are triggered by high pitch sounds will decide to silence your machine forever. (Too bad he took out the entire electrical line when he ripped the plug out of the wall.)

7 If it is Sunday, do not drive by the church on your way to the golf course or brunch. If you do, at best the service will be underway and all inside. At worst, you get there just as the congregation gets out all excited about today’s sermon which was about rescuing the lost sheep from sin. (Yup. You now are on everyone’s list as a lamb to save. Good luck with peace and quiet for the next three weeks.)

6 If it is Sunday, fight the urge to use that new chainsaw. If you lost the battle, at best your cutting will be short and sweet. At worst, you will find you have gotten into a cutting situation where the tree looks like it will fall in the wrong direction which will be either on your house or you. (Don’t call for help Bunkie cause no one will come.)

5 If it is Sunday, do not use any sharp objects. If you do, at best you will have no injuries. At worst, you will do your usual self-infliction and have to go to Doc in the Box for help. (Guess who is on duty at the clinic? I’ll give you a hint. The doc is the lowest in seniority and least experienced.)

4 If it is Sunday, do not rush to a restaurant without a reservation. If you do, at best you will have quite a wait as others had the same idea. At worst, the restaurant is not open on Sunday. (WTF don’t they know it is all about you?)

3 If it is Sunday, do not try to watch a football game and finish that last chapter of your novel. If you do, at best both events will be a bust. At worst, you will have a last chapter that reads like an ESPN broadcast. ( “Her hero tried valiantly for the extra effort but was crushed by the overwhelming size and weight of the opposing warriors. The decision was made to go for a final charge, and he breached the line and scored.”)

2 If it is Sunday, do not decide to take in a movie at the last-minute. If you do, at best you won’t see the film you want because of the crowd. At worst, you will need to wait in line for a possible hit on the ten o’clock showing. (“Man where did all these people come from? I can’t believe these people have nothing to do today.” Yeah believe it)

1 If it is Sunday, and you live near me. Please take the time to relax. If you don’t, at best, I’ll put up with the noise for a time. At worst, I’ll write you into a Top Ten post or even worse, one of my novels. (In the novel the outcome won’t be so good either.)

Views of the Neighborhood

October 9, 2016October 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

Yesterday we had two events going on in Port Aransas. There was the Dog Surfing Contest and The Plywood Boat Festival. I would have loved to present both today, but sadly there were just too many things to see for one post. I selected the Dog Surfing Contest for this week and will do the Plywood Boat Festival next week.

So you’ve never been to a dog surfing contest? Well, that all changes now. This first shot is of the Horace Caldwell Pier. Here is where the best surf in Port A is available.

Caldwell Pier

The competition takes place to the right of the pier. Here is a contestant keeping cool until the start.

Of course, no contest would be complete without a vintage tricked-out camper.

Camper

This vehicle served as the announcer studio. The next photo gives you an idea of the gear the dogs wear when they surf. They by regulation must have life preservers. Here is a Doberman getting ready to hit the water.

Doberman

The contest had a carnival atmosphere. There was even a kissing booth run by the local animal rescue group. You make a donation and get to take a selfie with a dog. (No I have no idea who these people are in the photo)

Kissing booth