Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

 

Funny Collage

It is Wednesday Story Time again and this week’s story is brought to you by John Fioravanti and his terrific blog. http://fiorabooks.com where John has an inspirational message for us all.
Last week Ralph Worthe hung up on the hostage negotiator and the negotiator fearing for those inside the house asked for permission to storm the house. We better get back there to find out it the permission was granted or who else is going on.
“You know Ralph that negotiator is going to ask for authorization to storm this place.”
“Shut-up Lightfoot. I’m running this not you.”
“I’m just saying if you value your life and that of Alexis and Trudy you should get back on the line.”
“I’m showing them who’s boss Lightfoot.”
“Well, when those troopers come through that door, they aren’t going to respect the fact that you are the boss. There will be enough lead flying around this place to take us all out.”
“They’re not going to shoot one of their own.”
“Believe me, they won’t mean to kill anyone but you. That will be a moot point once the bullets start to fly. That twenty-two of yours won’t stop anyone. Look what happened when you shot me.”
“Maybe I need you to talk to them. How about you do that while I hold this twenty-two against your head. I guarantee that it will make a nice hole in your brain.”
“Daddy you have us all scared.”
“That’s right Ralph, Alexis and I can’t stop shaking.”
“You two make me sick. You talk big but when it is time to play in the big time you turn chicken.”
“Mr. Worthe. I think you ought to surrender.”
“You know Ben. When I want your whimp advice, I’ll ask for it. How about it Lightfoot. You game to play?”
“Sure, I’ll talk to them. What are your demands?”
“I want a helicopter on the front lawn to take us to the airport and then a  jet to the Cayman’s.”
“You know they come get you in the Cayman’s.”
“Duh. Let me worry about that part. Just tell em what I want.”
“Okay. Let’s hope we can get them on the line.”
“Their phone number is in “recent calls.” They called me remember?”
“I got it. Here goes.

“Hello.”
“Hello, Commander this is agent Lightfoot.”
“My God, Lightfoot is that guy nuts or what?”
“I have you on speaker Commander.”
“Yeah Commander. I’m not nut, but getting furious.”
Wow, we will need to tune in again next week for another episode. In the meantime, visit John Fioravanti at http://fiorabooks.com

Tuesday – Any Thing Possible – Kreative Kue #97 by Keith Channing

I am so glad Keith Channing is back from India. In his own words. “Using this photo (Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #97

Rescue by John W. Howell © 2016

“I can’t get this damn thing to work.”

“Give it to me. You were never good with mechanical stuff.”

“Just give me a chance will you?”

“I’m telling you if it’s like everything else you’ll break it before we can send a message.”

“I don’t think we need to go after self-esteem right now do you?”

“I’m just saying there are all kinds of boats out there and if we don’t signal them we will be on this God forsaken island the rest of our lives.”

“Now that’s a bit harsh.”

“Give me the damn thing.”

“No. One more try is all I need. By the way, this bench you built is really comfortable.”

“Why, thank you. I didn’t know you cared enough to give a compliment.”

“I care. What gave you the idea I didn’t?”

“How long have we been here?”

“Let me see. Our boat went down. . .Oh, I see you don’t want to know how long we’ve been here. You are saying I haven’t let you know I care for all that time.”

“Yes. Sorry if I was a little subtle.”

“Okay. I think I have it now. Well, I’m sorry since I do care and should have told you more often. I hope this flare gun still works. It has been a long time since I fired it last.”

“Wait. Let’s just pause a minute here. If you shoot that flair, we get rescued. Right?”

“Right.”

“After being here for over twenty years?”

“Right.”

“After everything we’ve accomplished here?”

“Right.”

“You say you care?”

“Yes, I do. Very much.”

“Let’s go have lunch and forget the flair.”

“Done.”

 

 

Ten Things Not to Do When Your Significant Other is Out of Town

 

Top Ten

The inspiration for this list was a traveling spouse two weeks ago. She was visiting the youngest for an extended weekend. I say the inspiration was her visit, nothing in this list pertains to me. Ahem.

Ten Things Not to Do When Your Significant Other is Out of Town

10 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not organize an all-night card party. If you do, at best there will be minor damage which can be covered up. At worst, the guest who never drinks decides to have too much of a dark red Cabernet just before passing out holding a full glass on your significant other’s favorite white couch. (You might as well set fire to the house right now.)

9 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not decide to make up and work on your own to do list. If you do, at best you might get one thing on the list right. At worst, you will finish the list only to discover that all the items were things your significant other wanted to do. (Well you now have a big problem since you know all the things need to be redone.)

8 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not even think of not doing dishes. If you don’t do them, at best the homecoming will be less joyous. At worst, that heavy trash can is a hint that your dirty dishes no longer exist. (Could have saved yourself on this one Bunkie. You were warned.)

7 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not take the kids or dogs for a new haircut. If you do, at best you will have to repeat the rule on which part of parenting you are not responsible. At worst, you will end up at the hair cutter demanding another cut. (You also have orders not to pay another red. So now you have to hide the payment as well.)

6 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not rearrange the furniture. If you do, at best your significant other will trip and fall over the ottoman which wasn’t there before. At worst, deep relationship issues around communication change could result. (You didn’t know the depth of insecurity there did you.)

5 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not think putting the spices in alphabetical order is a good idea. If you do, at best your significant other will be confused at first but catch on. At worst, you will be asked one hundred times to locate the chili powder. (Some people just don’t get the idea of chili powder being under  “C” and not “P” no matter how many time you explain it to Tiny who as WWF world wrestling Champ should get it.)

4 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not use treats to get the kids or pets to behave. If you do, at best they will rat you out immediately upon the significant other’s return. At worst, you will have created a behavior modification system that will require increasing amounts of treats to sustain. (It is like being on a substance abuse treadmill isn’t it Grover.)

3 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not lock yourself out of the house. If you do, at best you can convince one of the kids to open the door. At worst, you will become increasingly hysterical as your darling children not only refuse to open the door but decide to begin playing chef with your butane Cream Brule caramelizing torch. (Try explaining this one, Buford.)

2 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not forget to follow the plant watering instructions to the letter. If you do forget, at best the droops will go away after you do remember. At worst, you spot the prize orchid taking a dive just as your significant other pulls into the driveway. (This was the orchid that would have taken first place at the flower show which your spouse has been working on for over a year. It just doesn’t get any worse.)

1 If your significant other is out-of-town, do not expect a souvenir. If you do, at best your reward will be a small bottle of conditioner from Days Inn. At worst, you will get a T-shirt that reads, “My significant other went to Las Vegas, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” that will be two sizes too small. (Another car polish rag, right Ralph?)

Views of the Neighborhood

Last weekend was the Harvest Moon Regatta which is a race from Galveston to Port Aransas. Here is some info on the race itself. This is taken from the Harvest Moon Regatta website which you can visit here.

The Harvest Moon Regatta ®steadily grew from the 17 yachts of 1987  (The first year) to over 260 yachts in recent years. This was due in large part to the perfect destination, Port Aransas. This ideal Texas port allows yacht owners and sailors to use minimal days from work to join in on what can be a most memorable overnight sail down the Texas coast during traditionally the best offshore sailing time of the year. And we can all do this in relative safety shared by some 200 other yachts. The race started on Thursday, October 13th at 2:00pm Central and finished at about 10:00am on Friday, October 14th

This first photo is of the boats beginning to arrive at the Port Aransas Jetty.

Harvest moon regatta

Here are two pictures of the boats up a little closer.

Harvest Moon Regatta fullsizeoutput_2fb

This is a shot of the boats moving up the Corpus Christi channel toward Port Aransas

Boat Race

 

The jetty is made of limestone rocks brought in from the Hill Country up North. You can see people fishing off the jetty oblivious to the sailboats going by.

Sail boat race

Here is a shot of the first turn before the finish line.

Boat race

Here is the entrance to the marina which is the finish. The captains and crews stay in Port Aransas for a night of festivities and then depart on their own schedule.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday- Prompt “Ho”

SOCS

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Ho.”

“Wait a minute. You are kidding right?”

“About what?”

“The Prompt.”

“No, I’m not kidding. Linda Hill put out the prompt ‘ho.”‘

“I thought this was a family oriented blog.”

“It is. What on Earth is the matter with you?”

“The matter with me? I’m not the one putting out prompts like ‘ho.”‘

“Oh, I get it. You think the word ‘ho’ has something to do with prostitutes.”

“You said it not me.”

“I wish I could just get on with the post and you would go away.”

“You could make that happen. In case you didn’t know this already, you are the one on the keyboard.”

“Let me tell you what Linda told me. Maybe this will clear it up. She said we need to use a word that contains ‘ho’ in that order.”

“Oh, so not the word ‘ho'”

“No.”

“You being funny with a rhyme?”

“No not ‘ho’ but a word with ‘ho’ in it. Understand?”

“Yes, I do. You can now get on with it.”

“I’m pretty much out of space but here goes. ahem. How are you.”

“You are pathetic.”

“Why don’t you go to Linda’s site and read about it yourself and maybe you can do better. Here is the link .”

https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2216/

“Thanks. I mean I could think up better ‘ho’ words than ‘how.’ Hotel, howitzer, homebrew, honeybuns, horizontal, and I could go on forever.”

“Fine. Who cares now.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

Funny Friday

 

Another week has flown into history. I am happy to see Friday’s shining face. A lot of work got done this week, and I’m looking forward to the weekend. Last weekend saw the demise of my old lawnmower. I have had it since 2001, and it has serviced me adequately all these years. Last week it stalled, and when I pulled the starter rope, the engine came off the platform. I guess the metal just couldn’t stand the strain of coastal living. So I bid a fond farewell to an old workhorse. I did buy a new one and can bet it won’t last sixteen years. Today’s JohnKu is about wearing out. I hope you like it. (It may not be just machines)

Break Down by John W. Howell © 2016

One day working fine,

Next day a major breakdown . . .

No way to predict.

Wednesday Story Time – AKA Hump Day

 

funny college

Last week we left the Worthe’s surrounded by a SWAT team, and Ralph was on the phone with the SWAT negotiator. It appears that Father Lightfoot is now a hostage and Ralph is threatening to shoot him unless his demands are met. We have no idea what those demands are but better go back and see. This week’s Wednesday Story Time is brought to you by Texas writer Jan Sikes. She has an excellent series of books, based on a true story and you can visit her blog to learn more. Here is the link. http://www.rijanjks.wordpress.com Now let’s join the Worthe’s and all the fun they are having.
“Okay, okay Mr. Worthe. Before I hear your demands, I need to make sure Lightfoot is okay.”
“He’s okay.”
“Not that I don’t trust you MR.WORTHE but I will need to talk to Lightfoot.”
“Ain’t going to happen. Take my word; he’s okay.”
“I guess this call is over then Mr. Worthe. Please enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Wait…Okay, I’ll put him on.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Hello.”
“Lightfoot is that you.”
“Yes, commander it is.”
“Are you hurt.”
“I think Worthe cracked one of my ribs with that pea shooter of his.”
“Can you still function?”
“Yes, I was wearing a vest. Worth has his .22 pointed at my head, though.”
“What about the rest?”
‘All in the kitchen with me.”
“Okay good. Try to keep them there.”
“gotta go commander. Bye.”
“Wait. Lightfoot?”
“No, it’s Worthe now.”
“Mr. Worthe. I want to assure you that as long as no harm comes to Agent Lightfoot, you have my word that you and your family will be safe.”
“Safe? You calling living under Marshall Law safe?”
“Marshall Law? Whatda you talking about?”
“As if you didn’t know. You and your agencies have been spying on us for years.”
“Mr. Worthe. Please stay with me. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, sure you don’t. How would you like to live in fear for your whole life.”
“Uh. Mr. Worthe? You okay?”
“You’ll see all right in a minute.”
“Mr. Worthe you haven’t told me your demands.”
“Maybe it’s too late for demands. Worth out.”
“Worthe. Mr. Worthe. Hello, Mr. Worthe. Damn the line’s now busy. Hello, Central.”
“Central go ahead.”
“Worthe just hung up. I tried calling back and get a busy signal. Need the authorization to breach.”
Well, this does not look good for the folks in the house. We’ll have to wait and see if the permission to storm the house is given or maybe if Ralph comes to his senses and comes back on the line. Please visit today’s sponsor Jan Sikes and check out her new book. http://www.rijanjks.wordpress.com Till next week then.

Meet Gwen Plano – #RRBC #Push Tuesday Honoree

Gwen Plano

 

Rave Reviews Book Club chooses various authors to be honored with an extra push on Tuesdays. This week’s honoree is my friend and fellow broadcaster, Gwen Plano.

Gwen's Blog TalkGwen's Lifetime award

Here is a little about Gwen

She serves as Host of BEHIND THE PEN BlogTalkRadio Show  and is Co-Host of the Aspire to Inspire radio show . She lives in Branson, MO, where her husband and she enjoy live theater and musical performances in the beautiful Ozark Mountains. After spending their working years in California and the greater New York area, They decided to take the leap and settle in the heartland of the United States. It is no surprise that their seven children remain on either coastline. Their children and ten grandchildren are the biggest reason for their travels throughout the year!

Gwen's book

Her book, LETTING GO INTO PERFECT LOVE, is a memoir that covers an expanse of time, as well as a breadth of experiences both challenging and divine. Its sequel hides in stacks of papers and post-it notes, awaiting Gwen’s attention. Perhaps this year…

Blurb

Letting Go into Perfect Love is a riveting account of a journey through the terror of domestic violence to a faith that transforms all. As a college administrator, Gwendolyn M. Plano lived her professional life in a highly visible and accountable space–but as a wife and mother, behind closed doors, she and her family experienced unpredictable threat. The statistics are staggering–every 9 seconds in the United States, a woman is assaulted or beaten–but to Gwen, this was her secret; it was her shame. When her husband eventually turned his brutality on her son, she knew she could no longer remain silent.

Alternately heart-wrenching and joyful, this is a story of triumph over adversity–one woman’s uplifting account of learning how to forgive the unforgivable, recover her sense of self, bring healing into her family, and honor the journey home. Accompanied by glimpses of celestial beings, Gwen charts a path through sorrow to joy–and ultimately, writes of the one perfect love we all seek.

Integral to Gwen’s journey is her faith. Because of her Catholic upbringing, she struggles with the scandal of divorce but finally makes her peace. When her daughter reveals her molestation by clergy, however, her fragile sense of serenity dissolves. We walk with Gwen as she tries to make sense of this horror. The agony experienced by the entire family is devastatingly palpable. Against all odds, Gwen emerges confident of her faith and begins to see the threads of meaning in even the darkest moments.

Visit Gwen at gwenplano.com

Or on Facebook facebook.com/GwendolynMPlano 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – A Trip to Indiana

While traveling to Detroit for a memorial service I touched down in Indiana to visit with my eldest daughter, son-in-law and two of the three grandchildren (The third is in Germany). Many years ago I lived in the northern part of Indiana, but this trip was to Nashville which is south of Indianapolis. The area is gorgeous and to these Western eyes so green you have to squint. There are some impressions that I will share. Also, there are way too many pictures, so I’ll confine my discussion to one historical part of the town.

Here is a photo of the Brown County Historical Society old location. (The new is up the street in a new building) It is a community building built around the 1830’s.

Historic building

One other building built around the same time is the jail. Seems that whenever people congregate there are some that can’t follow the rules.

Jail

This next photo is of the interior of the jail. The walls are almost a foot thick, and there are two cells. One on the main floor (pictured) and one on the top floor.

Jail

This next photo demonstrates two things about this part of the country. 1. How modest the people are in requesting funds. A twenty-five cent donation? 2. How un-politically correct the curators are in warning you about the buildings condition. The sign warns that the buildings are not up to code and never will be.

sign on jailhouse

Here is the blacksmith’s shop. A view outside and inside.

blacksmith

The stool is not a period piece. I think the smithy has a tender butt.

img_0326

No town would be complete without the doctor’s office and apothecary. Given the building’s architecture, one could argue the doc was from back East.

Drs Office

This next photo also tells a little about the mindset of the people of Indiana. They have an incredible level of honesty, and it is reflected in the trust of others to be the same.

Water cart

The final photo is of the covered Bean Blossom Bridge. It was built in the 1880’s and is still functional.

Covered bridge

The area around the bridge is so quiet and serene it would be a perfect place to contemplate the next novel. Looking down the slow-moving creek played idly against the banks and the small trout could be seen darting from one flat rock to another. Time could stand still. Next stop Willoughby.