Thursday – A Little Personal- Last Call for Volunteers

August 11, 2016August 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

Our Justice

One step is closer to publishing Our Justice. I am waiting for the paper proof so that I can finalize the Paper version. I have decided to put both the e-book and paper version on a pre-sell basis.(My first time doing so) A pre-sell will give folks time to get the message and book a copy in advance. The actual ship date will be October 1st, and I will be hitting “publish” on the 12th of September. Most of my media support starts on October 1st and the blog tours anytime after the 12th.

Speaking of blog tours, I want to thank everyone who volunteered. I have confirmed all of you and the material will arrive the 6th of September.

As I promised, I’m sending this one more reminder. If you would like to help out, please send an e-mail to me at johnhowell (dot) wave (at) gmail.com.

Thanks to all.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

August 10, 2016August 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

College Costs

college costs

Wednesday is story time again. Last week we left Ben after Trudy ordered him to the kitchen. She has something on her mind as a way to prove Ben’s loyalty. I don’t know about you, but I was so glad to get out of the bedroom that I raced ahead to see what Trudy had in store for Ben. I think a bunch of us think Ben is useless, and this may be a divining moment where he proves once and for all if he has what it takes to overcome Trudy and her nest. (not a typo) So I’m in the kitchen and here comes Trudy.
“Alexis get in here.”
“Geez mom. Why are you yelling?”
“That stupid boyfriend of yours just tried to seduce me.”
“W-what? God , mom you are old enough to be his m—”
“I know. You don’t think that creeps me out?”
“Are you sure. You know you always think people are hitting on you.”
“He was naked in bed and invited me to join him.”
“OMG. Why on Earth would he invite you into his bed.”
“Well, for one reason I’m still a good-looking woman. For another he has some plot up his sleeve.”
“Plot? What kind of plot?”
“I think he is in with that priest Father Lightfoot. I’m not even sure he’s a priest.”
“What would they want?”
“I’m thinking they want to gather information on your father and me.”
“Information? What kind of information?”
“How do I know? We are powerful people and targets for extortion schemes.”
“Wow. What can we do?”
“I want you and your father to take a little trip.”
“A trip? Where ?”
“You and he need to go to the Cayman Islands and check on our accounts.”
“The Cayman Islands? You have offshore accounts?”
“Please Alexis. This is no time to start to be interested in our finances. Yes, we have offshore accounts and you and your dad need to go and check to see if anyone has been asking the bank about them and then pull the funds.’
“Pull the funds? What are we going to do with a bunch of money in the Cayman’s?”
“I have a plan and your father will brief you on the way. Now go and pack. I need to talk to your dad. Oh, you may be gone for a few weeks so pack accordingly.”
“Mom. I don’t like this at all.”
“Go Alexis, honey. It will be all right. Oh look who’s here. Ben.”
“Hi, Alexis.”
“Hi Ben. Gotta go. bye.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue by Keith Channing

August 9, 2016August 9, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

I do this prompt once a week but if you need to be briefed on what is going on here are Keith Channing’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The photo

Two dogs

“I hate to tell you darling, but those things are back.’

“Things? What things?”

“Those two wolf-like things that you told me you got rid of last year.”

“You have to be kidding. I took them for a hundred mile drive.”

“Well, they’re sitting in the corner in the dining room. They still have that stupid wolfsbane around their necks too.’

“OMG. That stuff was guaranteed to keep them away forever.”

“I said at the time that I didn’t think you were supposed to put it on them. You were to put it around the house.”

“Yeah, yeah. Small miscalculation is all.”

“I’ll give you miscalculation if you don’t get rid of them.”

“They still have those eyeballs that look like glass?”

“Yup. All four of them.”

“Four of them. You said two.”

“I mean eyeballs you, idiot. The thin one is still snarling as well.”

“Okay. Give me a minute and I’ll go get my net.”

“That net isn’t going to help. You need some bait.”

“Bait? What would you suggest?”

“I think you could use a rabbit or something.”

“Rabbit? Where in the hell am I going to get a rabbit?”

“Pet shop has plenty.”

“It’s after six. Those guys are closed. How did we do this last time?”

“You got in the car, and they jumped in.”

“Why won’t that work this time?”

“I think they are wise to you. They want to live here.”

“Why don’t we let them?”

“You have to be kidding. Those two are a danger to society.”

“Can’t we call animal control? By the way, how did they get in the house.”

“They rang the bell. Before I knew what was happening, they pushed by me and went to the dining room.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m going to tell them they have to leave.”

“I’ll wait right here.”

“You do that. I’ll be right back.”

“That didn’t take long. Did You tell them they had to leave.”

“I did.”

“So they’re gone?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean not exactly?”

“They said they would leave after dinner.”

“You believe them?”

“They gave me their word. Oh, and they would like meatloaf.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do During the Olympics

August 8, 2016August 6, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

Olympic Rings

Now that the Olympics are underway, I think it is a good idea to lay out a few suggestions on things not to do. Hopefully this list will save a reputation or two.

10 During the Olympics do not keep asking how many medals the US has won. If you do, at best you will have missed the idea of the competition. At worst, you just might get a suggestion that you would be better off at a horse race where winning is everything. (Did you not drink the one world cool-aid Bunkie)

9 During the Olympics do not insist that your interest in watching sand volleyball is purely for the artistic nature of the sport. At best, you’ll come off as someone not in touch with themselves. At worst, you be seen as a perv. (How did you miss that winning point Bud?)

8 During the Olympics do not stay up until all hours waiting for the final match. If you do, at best you won’t care who wins when the finals eventually are underway. At worst, you’ll fall asleep and miss the action. (You know there is such a thing as a recorded replay right?)

7 During the Olympics, do not insist on watching the boxing matches while visiting friends. If you do, at best they will think you lack social grace. At worst, your friends will start to question your motive. (“You would rather watch that stuff than talk to us?” is a question going through their mind right now.)

6 During the Olympics, do not insist on having meals in front of the TV. If you do, your family will become very worried about you. At worst, you might be the recipient of an interdiction by Olympic Watchers Anonymous. (You just didn’t know when that old Olympic habit moved into addiction did you fella?)

5 During the Olympics, do not buy or wear anything with the Olympic logo on it. if you do, at best you’ll own something that marks you as a little odd. At worst, once the event is over, you’ll have four more years before you can put it on again. (Will your stomach be in the same place four years from now Ferd?)

4 During the Olympics, do not put a country flag on your face. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you are from out-of-town and weird. At worst, your attempt to look cute while supporting your country will be viewed as a desperate act to gain recognition. (After all, there is no Jumbotron on your block)

3 During the Olympics, do not buy soft drinks or beer in a commemorative can or bottle. If you do, at best you’ll get some funny looks at the next social gathering. At worst, everyone will know how old your drinks are when you try to pass them off next summer. (Those big sales you expected on eBay never came through did they?)

2 During the Olympics, do not organize an Olympic party. If you do, at best the only attendees are all those folks you don’t like in the first place. At worst, you’ll have everything set up and realize you picked the night of the least favorite event. (Those appetizers and burgers will freeze well. Don’t you worry. Now the potato salad is another matter)

1 During the Olympics, do not demand that everyone in your house be quiet during the diving competition. If you do, at best you will confirm your lack of a grip on reality. At worst, the family will call in a professional to assist them in your recovery. (Yes, it’s true the divers can’t hear you from your home)

Views of the Neighborhood

August 7, 2016August 6, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

I had to make a run downtown yesterday, and as I was driving down the main street, I was struck by the number of sidewalk “sandwich board” signs there were. It also hit me that some them would make a pretty good post. So here is a sample of the signs that one can see in Port Aransas.

The first is for a restaurant. I have never eaten there, but the sign looks pretty inviting. It almost leads you to believe it is a free kitchen. (it’s not)

Moby Dicks

Then again maybe food is secondary.

Moby Dicks

This next one is curious

Henna Artist

Glad it is not Henna by a monkey. Also, notice the left leg of the sign. Clearly, the artist is not a carpenter.

Another curiosity

Ice cream

Is Tropical Ice Cream different from let’s say Antarctic Ice Cream? Maybe not as hard.

Now for the sin factor

Cigars

You can get it all here. (The lung doctor is up the street )

The next sign is a place where you can do pottery

Fire it.

I guess that is one way to sell the idea of working with a 1000 degree kiln

In Texas, we have a “Tax-Free” weekend where certain school supplies and clothes are state tax-free. The idea is to give parents a break on back to school items.

Tax Free

Unfortunately or fortunately silver jewelry is not on the list. (Nice try there retailer)

I like this one.

Sweet cheese

Has Eurythmics written all over it.

So that you don’t think all the signs are relatively culture-free here is one for our community theater.

Bye Bye Birdie

The final sign is in the “if you can’t beat them join them,” category.

Church sign

I hope you liked the sign tour.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ex”

August 6, 2016August 5, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

The instructions are simple, “Find a word with “ex” in it and use that word as the base for the post. In case you are confused about what I’m writing, I’m describing another Stream of Consciousness prompt by the ~~fiendish~~ lovely Linda Hill. If you want to join in go to this link and read all about it. https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-616/

“So what’s the prompt?”

“Ex.”

“Huh? What ya mean X?”

“No not X. Ex.”

“X what? X-Men?”

“I said not X as in X-Men but Ex as in exfoliation.”

“Exfoliation? What the heck does that mean?”

“My goodness man. Did you go to school?”

“Yes I did, and I graduated an expert.”

“Now who is confusing who? An expert in what?”

“Getting through school with no expectations.”

“I see. This still brings me back to ex.”

“Your ex?”

“No, not my ex. We need to find a word with an ex in it and make it the subject of this post.”

“Oh, now I see. How about execution.”

“You know with help like you give I don’t need any enemies. That’s not exactly a great subject for a post.”

“Okay, then. How about exercise?”

“Hey, I think you are on to something at last. We could examine all the aspects of exercise.”

“Naw. Go ahead without me. I’m exhausted.”

“I’m sure you are. You don’t exhibit much energy in the first place, and I’m sure all this mental work has been challenging.”

“Excuse me? Look who’s talking? You haven’t left that chair in over two hours.”

“I’m the boss of this outfit, and you are an exclusion.”

“Oh, Yeah? You want to expand on that statement?”

“Yeah, and since you want exactness, you’re nothing.”

“You know what Mr. Executive?”

“What Mr. Expendable?”

“You say you’re the boss and I’m nothing, and I have to say, ‘big deal boss over nothing.’ Examine that boss man.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA TGIF

August 5, 2016August 4, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

Friday

Another Friday to celebrate. YAY. This week has been a productive one. Got my paperback of Our Justice onto CreateSpace with little or no trouble. I’m waiting for the proof copy to arrive and then will go after the Kindle addition. I have the Kindle file ready to go, but don’t want to put it up until I’m sure te paper edition looks good. I hope you all have had a good week and like me looking forward to the weekend. Today’s JohnKu talks about looking forward to something nice.

When the task is hard,

And it almost seems too much. . .

Think of a nice thing.

Thursday – A little personal – A Photo on the Beach

August 4, 2016August 4, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Cinnamon Shore

Here is a photo taken from the beach of an upscale neighborhood named Cinnamon Shore. The day was a little overcast, and this picture was snapped at about 8:00 am while walking the dogs.

Why would I take a photo of a neighborhood you ask? I just had to provide some context for the next shot. You see I find flip-flops on the beach all the time. I can never guess why folks leave one flip-flop. I make up stories in my mind that usually involve a couple who have had too much to drink. “Oh dear I dropped my flip-flop,” is a piece of imagined dialog. “Aw let it go. We’ll get another pair,” is the made up response.

Usually, the flip-flops are from places like Old Navy or Wal-Mart, so I can see the reluctance to go back for it. (I have, in my imagination, these folks in the back of a pick-up truck on another beer run to town.) So, I was quite surprised to spot this in front of Cinnamon Shore.

Tory Burch

This photo is a Tory Burch sandal. I can hear it now, “Oh dear I dropped my Tory Burch sandal.” The reply, “Don’t worry darling we are late for the Smythes reception and no time to go back. I’ll get you a new pair at Neiman’s next week.” I see this couple in a custom golf cart making their way off the beach while trying to juggle two crystal flutes of Cristal champagne and a black labrador.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

August 3, 2016August 3, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

Funny college

Wednesday Story Day time again. Last week we left Trudy and Ben in an icky situation where Ben is trying to convince her he is sincere about his passion and Trudy is doubting every word. Although I would rather open a beer and sit in the sun, I’m afraid I’ll have to go back and see what’s going on. You can stay here with your feet up. Oh, yes, help yourself to something in the cooler. I won’t be too long, after all, I can only hold my nose and breath so long. Are you coming with me? Well, don’t say you haven’t been warned. Here put some of this Vick’s Vap-O-Rub under your nose. It will help.
“I’m not getting into that bed with you. I know what you are up to Benjamin.”
“So tell me, Trudy. What am I up to now?”
“You want to get me to relax and then start spilling the beans about our operations.”
“That is ridiculous. Who told you that lie?”
“I believe it is true, and no one said anything. I figured it out on my own. Why else would a young man like yourself want to bed an older woman.”
“Cause you’re sexy?”
“Come off that crap. You want something, and I demand to know what it is.”
“Trudy you have me all wrong. Here come under the covers and I’ll show you.”
“Put those covers down. I don’t need to be bothered with likes of you.”
“Now where did that come from? I’ve been nothing but kind to you.”
“Yeah, and that’s what bothers me.”
“Trudy please trust me. I only want what is best for you.”
“Okay prove it.”
“How?”
“Get out of that bed. Get dressed. Meet me in the kitchen.”
“Kitchen? You’re not going to pull a knife are you.”
“Trust me if I wanted to pull a knife I would already have one, and your thumb would be in the wastebasket.”
“Lovely thought.”
“I’m leaving. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Well, you are acting like a school marm.”
“Just do it. See you there.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue #88 By Keith Channing

August 2, 2016August 1, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

Another photo prompt from Keith Channing. In his words, he can explain. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – for reasons I have yet to fathom, pingbacks don’t seem to be working.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #88