Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Birth/Berth

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is Birth/Berth. Linda Hill says we can use one or the other or both. If you would like to have fun with us, please visit Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-217/

Birth/Berth by John W. Howell © 2017

“Tell me again. What is your emergency.”

“I’m stuck in the upper berth on a boat, and a deer is giving birth in the lower berth.”

“Okay maybe it has been a long day, but there are a lot of birth words in your statement. Let’s break it down. You are stuck in the upper berth of a boat?”

“Yes. I can’t move.”

“Thank you. Where is the boat?”

“It is berthed in the marina.”

“Of course it is. What is the name of the boat?”

“Birth of the Blues.”

“Why am I not surprised. Tell me what happened?”

“I was trying to get away from the deer and jumped into the upper Berth.”

“Okay, and how did you get stuck?”

“I got wedged. I guess I should have left my tool belt back in the truck.”

“The deer was chasing you?”

“Yes, and I ran for this boat with her in hot pursuit.”

“Tell me about the deer.”

“She is brown with big eyes.”

“Not her appearance. Tell me what she is doing.”

“She is laying in the lower Berth giving birth.”

“So she won’t be chasing you anymore.”

“No, she is pretty busy right now.”

“The real emergency is getting you unstuck right?”

“That and getting the deer some help.”

“Okay, sir. I want you to remain on the line. We have dispatched an EMS crew to your location. Please stay calm.”

“I’m calm. I can’t speak for the deer though.”

“I understand. Any change?”

“No, my breathing has returned to normal.”

“Not you. The deer.”

“Nope still brown.”

“You are putting me on right?”

“No, I’m stuck.”

“I’m trying to find out how the deer is doing.”

“Oh, she gave birth and left.”

“So that just leaves you stuck in the berth.”

“Yes. And the bear.”

 

 

 

40 comments

  1. LOL! I knew when I saw the two words that you would use them both and use them well! Very funny.

  2. Gwen Plano · ·

    LOL!! What can I say? Your craziness keeps me laughing. Have a great weekend, John. 🙂

  3. Good grief – that’s the funniest story for a Saturday morning, John. I’ll think of that as the US Customs officers chase me down thus morning. Hmm “10 Things Not T Do When Crossing The Border” 😇

  4. Guess the EMS crew can go home. That bear will solve everything. 😁

  5. Haha! What a way to start a gloomy Saturday morning! (Yes, the remnants of your storm have made their way to us). Thanks for the laughs.

  6. Hilarious, John! Happy Saturday!

    1. Happy Saturday to you, Jill * Sung to the tune of “Keep the Customer Satisfied,” by Simon and Garfunkel.

      1. I don’t think I’ve heard that song, John…and I love S&G. I must check out YouTube. 🙂

      2. It is a very upbeat

  7. Dispatcher: Send a shrink to the marina.

  8. Ha ha – this one left me laughing, John. Nicely done. It does make me wonder about your mind, but..,

    1. It does doesn’t it?

  9. Great use of the words and of course, a typical John Howell twist at the end. 🙂

  10. Giving birth in a berth, it could happen.

  11. Ha! OMG…! John, you’re in rare form. I was already laughing out loud by the time I got to “Birth of the blues.” But you slayed me with the bear. Thank you for this delight. Hugs on the wing!

    1. Thank you , Teagan. ;-D

  12. Don’t tell me… the bear is bare, right?

    1. The bear is bare. 😀

      1. Ack, I can’t bear it.

  13. Ha! Nice use of the prompt, John. I imagine it was a bear to come up with that story.

  14. This has to be one of my favorites – laughed from the first line all the way through!

  15. Reblogged this on J-Dubs Grin and Bear It and commented:
    For Fred … yes it can be done – in this case a deer giving birth in a berth. I laughed out when I read this

    1. Thank you for the reblog, J

  16. This is GREAT! So funny, John. And the bear at the end. Had me in stitches.

      1. You are welcome, John.

  17. OMG. Where is the baby deer? Please tell me it went with mama deer and they lived happily ever after.

    1. Yes, of course, JoAnna. The baby grew into a fine buck and lived until it was thirty years old. 😀

      1. Thank you! 🙂

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