Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Short”

March 11, 2017March 10, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week out prompt is “short.” If you would like to join in the prompts you can. You can do it without reading anything at Linda Hill’s site. Just write anything that comes to mind around the word short and the link it to Linda’s place. Oh and no fair correcting typos and stuff like that. Here is the link (you may want to read the other rules like cooking a dozen cookies for each promptee.) https://lindaghill.com/2017/03/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-mar-1117/

“I’m not sure I like the word.”

“What word?”

“Short.”

“Now this is a twist. Why aren’t you sure you like the word?”

“I dunno. It just sounds a little inadequate to me.”

“Inadequate? How does short sound inadequate?What is wrong with you?”

“Um, you know.”

No. I don’t know.”

“Well um. Let’s say something you have is described as short.”

“Like what?”

“Er let’s say your arm is described as short.”

“Is your arm short?”

“That’s not the issue. No, it’s not but let’s say someone described it as short.”

“I’d love to know where this is going. Okay, let’s say someone described your arm as short. So what?”

“Wouldn’t you say the arm is inadequate?”

“Not necessarily.”

“Let’s say you needed to reach across the table with a short arm. Wouldn’t that mean the arm is inadequate?”

“Okay, so you now have defined a situation where the arm is inadequate.”

“Ah ha.”

“Ah ha, what?”

See what I mean about the word short.”

“Okay, so who called whatever you have short?”

“She called it short.”

“She? Who is she?”

“My girlfriend.”

Called what short?”

“I don’t want to say.”

“What is wrong with you? Why can’t you say?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“She described something you have as short, and you’re embarrassed to tell me?”

“I don’t want people to laugh at me.”

“No one’s going to laugh. Tell me.”

“She said my uh attention span is short.”

“Mooohahahahahahaha. Wait. Did you say attention span?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Project”

March 4, 2017March 3, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 42 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “project.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. (Oh joy). If you would like to join this rag-tag outfit go to Linda’s blog and read the rules, then send each of us a six pack of very expensive beer. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Mar. 4/17

“Attention class. Today we are going to discuss the semester project.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Winther.”

“Yes, Michelle. You have a question?”

“I do sir. Can we select any member of the class to be project team members?”

“Well, although that is a good idea, Michelle this project is going to be an individual project.”

“Oh. You mean we can’t get others to help?”

“You should complete the project on your own. Now class. The first thing we should decide is what each of our projects will be. We should try to avoid any duplication.”

“Mr. Winther, sir.”

“Yes, Michelle?”

“I want to have the first pick of the project I want to do.”

“And why should that be, Michelle?”

“I’m the one with the highest GPA.”

“That’s not how we are doing it. We are going to list the projects on pieces of paper and each student will get a chance to draw their project out of a hat.”

“Mr. Winther?”

“Yes, Michelle.”

“Can I go first to draw?”

“We are going by last name Michelle.”

“That means I will be last.”

“It really doesn’t matter. All the projects are good ones.”

“I hate to be last, and I just know my project will suck.”

“Now Miss Zielinski we do not use language like that in my class.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I got carried away.”

“That is okay. If there are no more questions everyone, please pick a project.”

“I just knew it. My project sucks.”

“Miss Zielinski, please. What is your project?”

” To solve world hunger.”

“Now that is a very nice project, Michelle and If you do it properly, you will have your wings in no time. Let’s not hear any more complaining.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “How”

February 25, 2017February 25, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

SOCS How do I start Stream of Consciousness Saturday? Well, like I always do with some kind words from Linda Hill. She has given us the prompt “How.” She further will allow bonus points if we start and end the post with the word “how.” Okay, so I have one-half of the bonus in the bag. (notice the first word up there.) If you want to learn more and join in here is a link to Linda’s post. https://lindaghill.com/2017/02/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-2517/

“How do you think we are going to get out of this mess?”

“I’m not sure but for god’s sake keep your head down.”

“Don’t worry about me. Mrs. Dumbrowski didn’t raise no dumb shit.”

“Mrs. Dumbrowski? Who’s that? Your name is Smith.”

“Oh, she was my caretaker when I was a kid.”

“Jeez. Always something with you. Why not just say Mrs. Smith didn’t raise no dumb shit.”

“Cause my Mom remarried and her name was Roselle.”

“For heaven’s sake. We are surrounded by a bunch of badasses trying to kill us, and you’re driving me nuts with word games.”

“It’s not word games. It’s the truth.”

“Who gives a f— Whoa what was that?”

“I think someone has themselves a new mortar. That was a shell flying over our head and exploding behind us.”

“I know it was. I was just using a figure of speech. I’ll bet the next one lands in our laps, and I’m going to spend eternity having to watch what I say since you take everything literally.”

“I resemble that. Words are important. You can’t just toss them around Helter Skelter and expect people to understand you.”

“Do me a favor and quit talking. I have a headache and would like to enter the gates of heaven in peace.”

“Larry?”

“What?”

“You think you are going to heaven?”

“I don’t know. I hope so. I’ll tell you one thing. If we don’t get help soon, we are certainly going to find out.”

“Find out what?”

“What eternity looks like. OMG here comes another shell.”

“Wow, that was close. Those guys aren’t very good are they?”

“Lucky for us.”

“Something about their sloppiness bothers me.”

“A little too Helter Skelter for you?”

“Yeah. If I had that mortar, I wouldn’t miss them.”

“Why don’t you make it easier for them. Or better yet. Why don’t you stand up and walk over there and show them how to do it.”

“Sounds good but I’m not sure they would accept my help.”

“Sure they would. Hold up a white handkerchief and take some chocolate.”

“Now you are putting me on. You just want to shut me up.”

“Is it working?”

“And how. ”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ham.”

February 18, 2017February 17, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and time for another prompt from Linda Hill. This week’s prompt is “ham.” Yeah, you read that right. “ham.” The good news is Linda says we can use the word any way we want. Now let me think of the ways to use ham. Right now I’m thinking ham and swiss on rye. (I need to have some lunch) If you would like to participate in the fun, go to Linda’s blog and read all about how to do it. Here is the link. Oh and by the way, if you go there you will be able to see some other interpretations of the “ham” prompt. https://lindaghill.com/2017/02/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-1817/

“Ham, ram, sheep, bull, beef or bear.”

“Huh?”

“You asked what was good on the menu.”

“I know but bear?”

“Hey fella this is the North Country. We love everything.”

“How do I order.? Ask for bear?”

“No silly. You look at the menu and decide what you want. Duh.”

“You are pretty cheeky for a server.”

“Watch it, Buster. See this fist?”

“Now no need for that. I just think servers should be more polite to customers.”

“Okay. I see that. Let me try again. Excuse me, sir?”

“Yes?”

“Would you be so kind as to look at the knuckles on my right hand and then tell me how they feel after meeting your nose.”

“I want the manager.”

“Don’t we all. He went hunting last week and didn’t come back.”

“Is the owner here?”

‘”Sure. Hold on.”

“Yessir, how can I help you?”

“You own the place?”

“Yup. The whole town too.”

“Oh. Well, this server just threatened me with a punch in the nose.”

“You don’t look like you been hit.”

“No, it was a threat, though.”

“Let me tell you, son. You are real lucky. Belle doesn’t usually threaten. Now, what can I get you?”

“What’s good?”

“Ham, ram, sheep, bull, beef, or …wait. We are out of bear.”

“What happened?”

“The manager went out to get some and never came back. I think he might have run afoul of a bear in the end.”

“Oh sorry.”

“Don’t be. We sell a lot of the other meats.

Saturday Stream of Consciousness – Prompt “So/Sow/Sew

February 11, 2017February 10, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

SOCS

So that you understand the nature of what is going on here, I have to quote Linda Hill on this week’s prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “so/sow/sew.” Use one, use ’em all, use ’em any way you’d like. Bonus points if you start and end with any of them. Enjoy! So” I hope everyone noticed I began this post with “so.”

Now I ask you is this freedom or what? If you would like to join in the fun go to Linda’s post. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 11/17

“So what are you up to today?”

“You noticed I’m deeply involved in this story.”

“I love stories. What is it?”

“It is about a young man who left his home to seek his fortune.”

“That sounds familiar what it the name.”

“Go West Young Man.”

“Hmmm. I’m familiar with the saying by Horatio Alger, but that title escapes me.”

“Cause I just put it on paper.”

“Oh. I get it. It is a story you are writing.”

“Man. Hard to put stuff past you.”

“Now don’t be contrary. Can I read it?”

“It’s not finished. Maybe when it’s done.”

“Read me a line.”

“Okay how about the opening line?”

“Super go.”

“It was a dark and stormy night.”

“Wait. You’re kidding right?”

“Okay. I’ll read the real first line. Ahem. ‘Jacob felt he could so no further. His bones ached from the fear and weight of what he had to do. All along his father told him not to go, and now that he ignored him, Jacob could feel the karma slide like a wet snake up his back and feel the heat on his neck. He could smell the stench of the payback that was about to be his.”‘

“Go on. This sounds great.”

“He decided to lay his burden down and face whatever was in store.”

“What burden?”

“It’s a metaphor for his guilt. Shall I continue?”

“Please.”

“The sow had to weigh hundreds of pounds, and the yoke of wagon pressed into his shoulders. He must find a place to rest, or surely he will fall to the ground and not be in a condition to escape. He stopped at a tree and there an old man called his name.”

“How did the old man know his name?”

“You sound like a reviewer. Just wait.

‘Jacob,’ he called.

Jacob stopped gazing at the man with his brow furrowed. ‘You know my name, old man.’

‘I do.’

‘How is that possible?’

‘I know your father. He sent me to find you.’

‘For what purpose?’

‘To see if you have finished your foolish task which you set out to do. “Sew your wild oats.” is how I believe you explained it to your father.”‘

“‘Wild oats.’ What the heck does that mean?”

“Experience what life has to offer. I think I’ve read enough.”

“No, I want to hear more.”

“Okay. Let me read one more line. ‘Your father has instructed me to warn you to return to the homestead so. . .'”

“So?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Hair”

February 4, 2017February 3, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

SOCS

It is Steam of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “Hair.” Linda Hill, the master torturer at the Hill Dungeon of Prompts, says we can use the word any way we want and to have fun. This caused me to pause and wonder how many ways can I use the word “hair?” If you would like to also have these kinds of conundrums visit Linda’s post and read how. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/02/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-417/

“Gimmie long lengths of hair. Shining, flaxen, waxen hair. Shoulder length or longer.”

“What are you singing?”

“The song from Hair.”

“Hair?”

“Yeah, the musical.”

“Oh. please. That old thing.”

“It’s a classic. Was a major Broadway production with nudity.”

“Nudity? You call weird flashlights nudity?”

“What do you mean?”

“The place was dark except for a few flashlights.”

“So what. The cast was necked.”

“You mean naked.”

“When a bunch of folks are without clothes and there is no swimmin’ hole, and it includes boys as well as girls that’s necked.”

“I see. Did you see the show?”

“Well no.”

“How come?”

“I was only ten when it came out.”

“How do you know about the nude scene then?”

“I read about it.”

“And the song?”

“Partridge Family sang it.”

“But you were little then,”

“I know. I had the record, though.”

“Could you understand what they were saying.”

“No, I just like the music.”

“Ever want to see the show?”

“I would now.”

“Why now?”

“You gotta ask?”

“Man you kill me sometimes. You can see more nudity at the park.”

“What park?”

“Let it go. I was just making a point.”

“Which is?”

“You are an idiot.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Wood/Would

January 28, 2017January 27, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

It is Stream of consciousness Saturday time. This weeks prompt is “Wood/Would. Linda Hill says we can use them any way we want. We can use one or both. (Ah freedom.) If you would like to engage in this ~~foolishness~~ art go to Linda’s site and read all about it. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS and #JusJoJan Jan. 28/17

“I see you have been busy studying that notebook.”

“Yeah, I have been staring at it for it must be an hour.”

“What are you looking at anyway?”

“This is the plan for a boat.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. Why would we want to be looking at a plan for a boat?”

“I was thinking you and I would be able to take this boat and see the world.”

“The world huh? Sounds like it is some boat.”

“Well, it is pretty substantial. You don’t want to caught in the middle of the ocean in some small little thingy.”

“Middle of the ocean? I’m wondering if you have been taking extra medicine when I wasn’t looking.”

“No, of course not. I’m just dreaming of traveling and thought a boat would be a good idea.”

“Okay. It would be fun to have a boat I suppose. Why the plans?”

“I thought I would build it.”

“Build it? Ha ha ha. You who can’t hit a nail without involving your thumb in the process.”

“Laugh if you want, but these plans say you don’t need any special skills.”

“Well, that sounds like you for sure. So you looked puzzled. What’s the problem.”

“I can’t figure out how much it is going to cost.”

“How is that possible? You must have a material list there. All you have to do is add up the materials.”

“There’s labor cost.”

“For you, that’s about ten cents an hour.”

“Fine. Joke if you will. I’m telling you there are some key elements missing.”

“Like what?”

“There is no estimate of the amount of wood.”

“Huh? What is the boat supposed to be made of.”

“Wood.”

“Wood?”

“Wood.”

“Gosh, you would think they would include the amount of wood.”

“You would think they would have wood wouldn’t you?”

“I’m going to make some tea.”

“I would like some.”

“Of course, you would and we are done. Knock wood.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Glass”

January 21, 2017January 20, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

SOCS

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “glass.” I have captured the exact words of Mistress Linda Hill

“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January is: “glass.” Use the word “glass,” or find something that’s made of it and use that in your post. Have fun!”

Notice the command to have fun. I think I will take that very seriously. If you would like to join in here is the link to Linda’s post. You can get all the information there.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS and #JusJoJan Jan. 21/17

“What is this necklace made of?”

“Oh, that piece. It is cut glass.”

“It is certainly lovely.”

“Yes. The artist put many hours into each facet. He wanted to duplicate the cut of diamonds.”

“The look is very much like diamonds.”

“You have great taste. This is one of a kind.”

“How much is it?”

“Let me see. Ah yes here’s the tag. It’s three thousand.”

“My goodness. I would have thought it was a little cheaper.”

“If these were real diamonds this necklace would be over a hundred thousand.”

“Oh, I know. Do you have a diamond necklace like this?”

“Why yes, we do.”

“I would like to see it.”

“Certainly. Wait a minute I need to go in the back and get it.”

“That is no problem. Take your time.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“My that didn’t take long.”

“No, but before I open the box, we require your ID.”

“Oh so that I don’t run away with it?”

“It is just policy. You understand?”

“Of course I do. Here I’ll get my ID out of my purse. I have two names.”

“Two names?”

“Yes, Smith and Wesson.”

“Is that a gun.”

“My goodness, you are very quick. Give me the box, and no one gets hurt.”

“Please don’t. This will come out of my salary.”

“I think you’d better quit today then since it will take a lifetime to pay back a hundred grand. Give me the box.”

“Here you go. Please point that thing somewhere but at me.”

“Now you behave, and I’m going to leave and as you can see no one gets hurt.”

“I won’t be able to get married now.”

“What?”

“My fiancée and I were counting on my job to make ends meet. He’s in Med school.”

“Oh please. This affects me how?”

“Just thought you should know you are ruining two lives.”

“Stop crying. I had a fiancée once.”

“What happened?”

“Never mind. Here take the damn necklace.”

“Really? Oh, you are the best.”

“I just hope he’s worth it.”

“He is. Take the glass one. At least you’ll have a beautiful necklace.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah, I can cover the three thousand over time.”

“That’s okay. You take care. Give that man a kiss from me. Have a great wedding.”

“I love your bag by the way.”

“Thanks. Got it at Neiman’s. Bye now.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “P”

January 14, 2017January 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

Partaking in more of the good stuff it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is the letter “p.” Here is what the dungeon master Linda Hill has ordered. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January is: A word that starts with “P.” Find a word that begins with the letter “p,” and make it the theme of your post. Bonus points for starting and ending your post with a “p” word. Enjoy!”

There you have it, and now you have the reason I started this post with the word “partaking.” If you would like to jump in and do this as well, go to Linda’s post right here and read about it.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS and #JusJoJan Jan. 14/17

“Percy.”

“Pray What?”

“Please, I need you to come into the bathroom.”

“Perfect. I’m here. Okay dear, what is it?”

“Plumbing.”

“Plumbing?”

“Plumbing is making noise. You hear that?”

“Pings? Yes, I do.”

“Persistent aren’t they? Are they getting worse?”

“Possibly. We will have to do some tests.”

“Playful tests or something serious?”

“Pressure tests.”

“Puzzler. What is entailed?”

“Put a strain on the pipes and see if there is an object in there.”

“Perhaps the pipes will break.”

“Pitiful outcome, but at least we will get rid of the noise.”

“Prickly way to a solution.”

“Pricey risk if there is a break. Water everywhere.”

“Percy?”

“Penelope?”

“Perchance it would be more advantageous to ignore the problem.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Coat” #SoCS, #JusJoJan

January 7, 2017January 6, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Coat.” It is also Just Jot is January and this post counts in both. That’s good since I have missed all the prompts so far. If you would like to participate in either go to Linda Hill’s post and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-and-jusjojan-jan-717/

“What are you doing?”

“Putting on a coat.”

“I can see that. I’m talking about those gloves, the cap, scarf, and Uggs.”

“Hello. This is the middle of winter and we’re going out.”

“I know but you look like you live in Minnesota. ”

“I can’t help it. The Arctic Vortex has hit us.”

“Well, it’s a little colder than normal but hardly worth dressing like you’re competing in the Iditarod.”

“Speak for yourself flip-flop man. I see you are wearing shoes.”

“Well yeah. we are going out to dinner and I don’t think the restaurant folks would appreciate me walking in with flip-flops. Besides these are boat shoes. Hardly good in the snow.”

“I don’t care. I’ve been cold for two days and I’m not taking it anymore.”

“Cold for two days? Are you sure you don’t have the flu or something?”

“I don’t have anything but goosebumps.”

“The Arctic Vortex has just been here since yesterday. Why have you been cold for two days.”

“You know as well as I the air conditioner was not working right. It was stuck on cool. The house was 65 degrees.”

“I know. Why didn’t you open the door and let in some warm air?”

“You know how the humidity ruins the furniture.”

“Well, it is now fixed.”

“And it is still 65 degrees.”

“Turn on the heat.”

“What? Turn on the heat so early in the season? No way.”

“You know how ridiculous this conversation sounds to the folks up North don’t you?”