Top Ten Things Not to do While Watching Football on TV

August 29, 2022August 28, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Since the American football season is underway, I thought it would be good to pull forward a post that ran on September 25th, 2015. The season starts earlier this year, so hopefully, mistakes can be avoided. I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are watching football, do not work on your finances. If you do, at best, you might have to redo the numbers every time an announcer mentions a score. At worst, you could have a problem when your bank calls about a deposit slip that reads first and ten. (Sure, you can explain that to the bank teller)

9 If you are watching football, do not try to carry on a conversation. If you do, at best, you will not fool anyone when you answer the wrong question with the wrong answer. At worst, you could be vulnerable to saying yes to one of those tricky issues relating to vacation destinations or furniture style. (Hope you enjoy the 24-hour hot yoga class while on vaycay)

8 If you are watching football, do not try to write a post for Monday. If you do, at best, you may miss a mistook or two. At worst, the logic and care you put into your writing may be lost as you get muddled in your thought process and try desperately to make a comeback but find yourself fighting out of an awkward place and running eighty yards for a touchdown. (This shows you can obviously watch and write at the same time)

7 If you are watching football, do not try to figure out how to install that iPhone app. If you do, at best, you’ll never get your Apple password correct. At worst, you will fail to notice the $99.00 cost of the “Write like Steven King” app you just installed. (You can bet it works too)

6 If you are watching football, do not try to help the kids with their homework. If you do, at best, you will demonstrate why they should never ask again. At worst, your help is the impetus for the remedial intervention program in which they become enrolled at the school. (Well, you did try hard, didn’t you?)

5 If you are watching football, do not try to cook an elaborate meal. If you do, at best, the ingredients you forgot won’t be missed. At worst, you will have made a concoction that the government will want to use to undermine the morale of enemy troops. (You thought it was going to be perfect. Right?)

4 If you are watching football, do not try to talk on the phone to your boss. If you do, at best, your lack of attention will not be held against you. At worst, your boss will think you have some cognitive problem and assume you are drinking. (Too bad your boss has been to rehab cause now you are going)

3 If you are watching football, do not answer the door and have visitors drop in. If you do, at best, you will ignore them. At worst, you will offend the folks who stopped by not paying attention to them, and they happen to be the people in charge of the pre-school home visit staff. (This was the premier pre-school in your state)

2 If you are watching football, do not assume everyone in your household shares your passion. If you do, at best, you will wonder why you are watching the game alone. At worst, you might even find you are home alone, and there is no note telling where everyone has gone. (Hard to believe not everyone wants to watch twelve hours of Football on the weekend, hey, Bucky)

1 If you are watching football, do not commit to watching the kids. If you do, at best, they will not wander out of the house. At worst, you will be investigated by CPS for keeping the kids tied to the couch for a full four quarters. (You might have gotten away with just a half)

Views of the Neighborhood – Lakeway Activity Center Art Show

August 28, 2022August 28, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

Yes, today we are going to the Lakeway Activity Center, where an art show is in progress. These are local artists and in addition to the show at the Activity Center, several artists have opened their studios for visits. We won’t be going to those since I don’t think the artists will be prepared for a visit from our group. We are being catered by Patrizi’s Food truck in Austin. Our entertainment is ZZ Top.

Pomodoro – traditional Italian red sauce made from local tomatoes, garlic confit, and butter served with house farm cheese and a tuft of basil.

Patrizi’s Red Sauce – family recipe tomato sauce stewed with onions, garlic, garden herbs, pork trimmings, and grana Padano cheese

Cacio e Pepe – grana Padano cheese, fresh cracked black pepper, and olive oil

The Great Leopold – basil and arugula pesto served with grana Padano cheese, pepitas, crushed red chilis, and lemon zest.

Carbonara Alexandra – house-cured and smoked pancetta, coddled egg yolks, grana Padano cheese, and gremolata

Karah’s Diavolo – lemon, olive oil, rosemary, egg yolks, red chili, grana Padano chees

Lemon Thyme – lemon, thyme, garlic, egg yolk, grana

Butter Noodles – fettuccine with garlic butter and grana Padano cheese

Garlic Bread – grilled ciabatta, poached garlic, and grana cheese

Patrizi’s House Salad – mixed greens with family recipe creamy Italian dressing, giardiniera, pickled onions, and grana Padano

Rainbow Salad -dinner salad with mixed greens, basil, giardiniera, pickled onions, garlic confit, roasted beets, tomatoes, pepitas, and a vegan creamy lemon vinaigrette dressing

Anything you want to drink

So let’s go.

Here’s a view of some pottery and a succulent display.

This table gives information and ocations of the Artist Studio tour.

A long view of some art.

The Activity Center has many things going on, including dance bands and concerts. Here is a display showing some of them.

Some interesting photos.

A nod to the Avant-Garde.

A portrait selection.

Impressionistic work.

Mostly pastels.

Photographic art.

A little of everything.

Farm scenes.

Pottery and stuff.

A revisit to the succulent table to check out the humorous labels.

Of course, there are food trucks to satisfy the need for a snack while browsing the art.

That’s it. I hope you have a great week. Relax, have some food and enjoy ZZ Top

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Board/Bored

August 27, 2022August 26, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

A quiet Saturday with no sound other than the death rattle of the coffee maker working on my soul-enhancing cup of the steaming stuff. Looking forward to non-activity that could render me into a condition best described as bored, I take a sip of the Columbian liquid alternative to Bolivian marching powder.

Thinking the paper would be an excellent addition to the bucolic scene created, I open the control board panel and begin the security disengage process. I flip the switches labeled: hot oil, concertina wire, claymore mines, Gatlin guns, iron gate, moat animals, deadbolts, remote crossbows, and locks. Checking the four cameras and seeing no motion or figure, the front door power switch is hit, and the door flies open. All these activities used to be done by hand; now, it is a matter of remote control.

The paper waits on the porch, but if it is a booby trap, the remote robot is sent to retrieve it. As the robot arm is extended to pick up the paper, a flash from my phone signals an alert. Looking up confirms a drone has entered the house. My goodness is a thought that races across the brain. Legs turn to rubber as it seems like my impenetrable inner sanctum has been breached by a dangerous-looking thing with four propellers.

Lucy, the consummate watchdog, jumps from the couch and knocks the thing to the floor. Twiggy immediately stops barking long enough to throw her full force onto the item. The result is a long sigh from the drone and a blinking red light. Thinking the light means imminent detonation, I smash the thing with the coal shovel kept handy for such occasions. (You don’t have to believe that part). The light stops blinking and in the pieces is a rolled-up message.

The unrolled message is from Linda Hill. It says, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “board/bored.” Use one, or use them both for bonus points. Enjoy! P.S. You owe me $400.00 for the drone.

If you want to join in, visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is. Others are responding to the prompt there too. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2022/08/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-27-2022/

“I hope you weren’t trying to bore us on purpose.”

“Come on. Have a heart.”

“Okay, but I was expecting some kind of cartoon character.”

“Do you know what this feature is called?”

“Yeah, Stream of Consciousness.”

“So today’s stream produced a drone.”

“Couldn’t miss that.”

“Why are you yawning?”

“Oh, excuse me. I guess the excitement of a drone was just too much for me.”

“You are an idiot, you know that?”

“At least I don’t write about drones.”

“You don’t write at all.”

“My point exactly.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I don’t write so I can be an objective reviewer of your work. I’m a representative of all readers.”

“Okay, so you didn’t like the drone.”

“I have to say you did cover the prompt. You fit bored and board in perfectly.”

“Well, that is one good thing.”

“Like the pub.”

“I was wondering how you were going to work that in.”

“Slick, huh?”

“So slick you’ve earned the right to buy.”

“Yeah. Happy to do it. Maybe wash this bitter taste out of my mouth.”

“Please.”

“Yes, that was a bit overdone. A beer will taste good, though.”

“Since when, doesn’t it?”

“Good point. Let’s go.”

“Should I delete the post?”

“Naw, as you say, it’s a Steam of Consciousness from an unconscious streamer.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Let’s go already. We have much to forget and so little time.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Friyay/Good News

August 26, 2022August 24, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 84 Comments

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network. Here it is in its entirety.

6 High School Football Players Combine Their Strength to Rescue Injured Woman Trapped in a Wrecked Car

Andy Corbley

–

Aug 22, 2022

(From left to right) Rome High School students Cesar Parker, Treyvon Adams, Antwion Carey, Messiah Daniels, Tyson Brown, and Alto Moore made the rescue.

A Georgian woman is thanking her stars that it was nothing less than a group of buff high schooler football players who just happened to be passing by her when she needed help.

Together they leaned their strength to pry open the jammed door of the woman’s wrecked car, which allowed the rescuers to access the badly injured driver.

The Rome City Football Team was out in force that morning, with teammates Treyvon Adams, 16, Antwion Carey, 16, Cesar Parker, 16, Messiah Daniels, Tyson Brown, 17, and Alto Moore, 16, all heading to school together in Adam’s car, or with their mom in the case of Caesar.

As soon as they saw the wrecked car, they leaped into action.

“We just ran as fast we (could) to the lady and check on her to see if she was alright,” Adams told CNN. “We saw she was in pain; she was screaming and asking us to help her.”

The car was totaled and badly bent out of shape. Relying on their brawn more so than their brains, the teens managed to pry the passenger door open, realizing only afterward that the other door had to be removed for her to be reached.

“We used all our muscles,” Adams said. “We’re pretty big people; we’re strong. We play football, so we lift weights a lot, but (the door) was just extremely bent and broke.” It all happened in about a minute.

But when it was over, the teens had freed the woman from the vehicle and carried her on their way back to class after checking on the driver of the other car in the collision.

Adams admitted that the team had been getting a lot of love and recognition for their act, which teachers said they deserved, and the school has helped drive.

In a post on Twitter, the school’s football team wrote, “PROUD of our MEN!” in reference to the story.

At the end of the day, like all great rescuers, the teens admitted that while the recognition was nice, it was something anyone would do.

The good news here is that these guys never hesitated to guarantee this woman’s safety and jumped into action.

Today’s JohnKu talks about heroes. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

What makes a hero?

Someone who has a big heart . . .

And moves very fast.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Lucy, Twiggy, and Rain

August 25, 2022August 25, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 113 Comments

It is a lot cooler out here, Little One.”

“It sure is. Something’s wrong.”

“Something’s not wrong. It has rained, is all.”

“Wait. You mean we actually got rain?”

“Yup. Looks like we had a good one too.”

“I can smell it. There is the scent of refreshment in the air.”

“If you say so. I just think it smells like wet.”

“I think your poetic license got suspended. But, yeah, it does look wet.”

“Want to see how much rain we got?”

“How do we do that? It’s all in the ground now.”

“See that little yellow thing on the fence?”

“Yeah. I see it. What is it?”

“It’s a rain gage. It tells us how much rain fell.”

“Well, you can look around and see it is more than we’ve had for a while.”

“You are right, but the gage tells us we had almost nine-tenths of an inch.”

“How can you see that from there? Maybe Dad will give us a close-up.”

“Here you go, kids. The water line is hard to see, but it is just above that crack in the gage where the big 1 is located.”

“I see it now. Thanks, Dad.

“You ready to go and play something?”

“I think I want to enjoy this cool air some more.”

Sŭbmarine-Ër #New Book – Guest Blog by Robert G. Williscroft

August 24, 2022August 21, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Since my dad was a naval aviator in World War II, I have been interested in all things Navy. I am therefore delighted to have as a guest Robert G. Williscroft, submariner and author of multiple series including The MacMcDowell Missions, The Oort Chronicles, and The Daedalus Files. Robert compiled and edited the true-life adventures of retired US Navy Lt. Commander Jerry Pait in his new book, Sŭbmarine-Ër.

So welcome Robert, who will give us some background on the book.

Thanks, John. So pleased to be here.

Let me begin with Jerry’s enlistment in the Navy. Jerry Pait enlisted on September 15, 1964, was assigned to Fleet Sonar School, volunteered for subs, and ended up on USS Entemedor (SS-340). After Advanced Sonar School, he was transferred as an STS-2 to USS Von Steuben (SSBN 632B) in the Philly yards right after her collision off Cadiz, Spain. I was a newly minted Lt. j.g., fresh out of Poseidon Missile School, having come through the NESEP (Navy Enlisted Scientific Education Program) and Univ. of Washington in marine and atmosphere physics. I guess the skipper made me Sonar Officer because I was a former sonar tech.” Jerry and I served together until I left for the Man-in-the-Sea Program and ultimately Operation Ivy Bells, tapping into Soviet underwater communications cables in the Sea of Okhotsk.

Jerry went on to become COB (Chief of Boat) on Von Steuben, served in a senior position in Sonar/Torpedoman School, and then was commissioned as an LDO (Limited Duty Officer) Ensign. He returned briefly to Von Steuben and then served as a division officer on several sub tenders. After that, he was assigned to NOTU (Naval Ordinance Test Unit), supervising underwater ballistic missile launchings for several years, working closely with NASA. He rose to Lt. Cmdr., was selected for Cmdr. But was mustered out on retirement as part of Clinton’s force reduction efforts.

Jerry took a senior field position with the major defense contractor Brown & Root, but during his first year, he fell from 20 feet in a way that fractured his back and cracked his skull. He survived, received a significant settlement, and has struggled ever since to regain as much function as possible.

I was on Jerry’s emailing list. He began to send out periodic stories from his past. They were fascinating, and the response from his list was remarkable. I saw their potential and contacted Jerry—we hadn’t communicated directly with each other in decades. I suggested that I work with him to compile his stories into a coherent whole and that we put out a book. He agreed, so we found a publisher who was willing to work with us on this strange project, and we completed the book last month.

Jerry’s book, Sŭbmarine-Ër: 30 Years of Hijinks & Keeping the Fleet Afloat, will be released on September 15, exactly 58 years after he enlisted. The book is on pre-publication sale right now as an ebook for only 99¢. The ebook price will rise to $3.99 on September 15. Each chapter has a color photo that illustrates the contents of that chapter. The trade paperback printed version has half-tone photos and will sell for $19.95. The hardbound, jacketed edition is in full color throughout and will sell for $36.95. Both will be available for pre-order within two or three days.

Why am I, Robert G. Williscroft doing this? Jerry is our brother—and he’s a genuine American hero. His story deserves to be told far and wide. I’m not here selling books. I’m here asking you to help me preserve the memory of one of the best among us. By purchasing the ebook on pre-order (only 99¢), you will help boost his sales ranking, so that on September 15, the release date, his ranking will shoot up. If you want the trade paperback, or the really cool hardbound, jacketed, full-color version, you can pre-order those as well from Amazon or any other online bookseller, or you can order it from your favorite brick-and-mortar store as well. Should you want an autographed copy, please use the Contact form at FreshInkGroup.com, and I will put you into direct contact with Jerry.

Thanks, John, and all of your readers for your support.

The Book Trailer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PklESG3x-w

Live Interactive Podcast with Pait and Williscroft!

Call (516) 453-9902 or hashtag #FreshInkGroup in tweets during the show to communicate with the studio.

Use this link to join the braodcast.

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/voiceofindie1/2022/08/25/voice-of-indie-episode-108

The Book Blurb!

Lieutenant Commander Jerry Pait’s semi-autobiographical collection of sixty stories recounts his thirty years in and around the U.S. Navy’s submarine fleet. Ranging from light-hearted to wrenching, all are poignant inside looks at naval operations rarely seen by outsiders. Topics include the real story behind the shuttle Challenger tragedy, risking his own life underwater, discovering a Soviet spy living across the street, surviving when a DELTA Rocket engine ignites, critical missions, and the everyday lives of men and women of the fleet. Dive into Sŭbmarine-Ër for hijinks and breathtaking adventure with this poignant memoir by a true American hero.

Order Yours!

Digital editions at 99 cents during pre-sale are available in all major ebook formats—Kindle, Nook, Kobo, GPlay, iBooks, and 200+ more—worldwide. In addition, full-color jacketed hardcovers and softcovers are appearing at retailer sites over the next week.

Amazon link right here

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #374 by Keith Channing

August 23, 2022August 22, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”

The photo.

“Whoa. That was hard.”

“Tell me why you’re doing this again?”

“Doing what?”

“Going underwater and holding your breath.”

“I thought you understood.”

“I guess the logic of the whole thing kinda slipped away seeing you sputter and cough.”

“You know Two Legs has this passion for hunting.”

“Yeah. Seems dumb, but yeah, I know.”

“Well, he has decided to go after waterfowl.”

“I did not know that. So you are in training to be a retriever?”

“No, not exactly.”

“So what then?”

“You and I are both on the side of protecting the species, right?”

“Of course. Leave that work up to Two Legs, and we all are lost.”

“Exactly. So I’m actually in training to be a bird warden.”

“Bird warden. What the heck is that?”

“When old Two Legs goes hunting, I’m going to be the underwater warning system for the birds.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to swim to where they are and let them know Two Legs has a gun.”

“So you will be out of sight the whole time?”

“Now you got it.”

“How long do you think you will need to stay underwater?”

“Well, the distance to the birds will mean I’ve got to stay under for four or more minutes.”

“Where are you now?”

“You saw me.”

“Ten seconds? You are at ten seconds?”

“We have to start someplace.”

“There will not be a bird left by the time you get to four minutes.”

“Maybe you are right. Change of plan then.”

“What?”

“I’ll bite him.”

“I’ll bet between he and his gun that will work once.”

“Yeah, let me think a little.”

“I would say you are thinking as little as possible right now.”

“Spoiled sport.”

“Nitwit.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Are a Writer

August 22, 2022August 21, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 86 Comments

This post was published on November 21, 2016. Still good advice if you are a writer.

* * *

The inspiration for this list is thinking back on all my mistakes while trying to become a writer. Not that I made all of them, but maybe some. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to Do If You Are a Writer

10 If you are a writer, do not kill a child or a pet in your story. If you do, at best, the fallout will blow over in two years or so. At worst, you will be cavorting with some strange characters in your new witness protection plan. (Don’t get cute with a pen name, either. They will find you)

9 If you are a writer, do not show friends and family portions of your work in process. If you do, at best, you’ll pick up some unwanted advice on plot direction. At worst, your family will now wonder how in the world you ever got the experience to write that sex scene. (Just how do you explain that one, Buford?)

8 If you are a writer, do not think you can take a vacation. If you do, at best, your characters will haunt your every moment until you get back to the manuscript. At worst, you’ll suddenly let your insecure inner self convince you to quit and become a McDonald’s employee. (At least the money will be better, huh, Clyde?)

7 If you are a writer, do not tell people at a cocktail party what you do. If you do, at best, they’ll smile and walk away. At worst, you will have to listen to a potential best-selling synopsis that takes over an hour to relate by someone thinking of writing a book. (Like it is the easiest thing to do, Ferd)

6 If you are a writer, do not think your life will end when the manuscript is done. If you do, at best, your story will take on epic proportions. At worst, you may get the heaviest book award from the New Apple Book Awards group. (You didn’t know that was a category? It was established primarily for you. No, your manuscript cannot be returned since the flatbed truck is unavailable.)

5 If you are a writer, do not let your characters take control of the story. If you do, at best, you’ll have a pack of amateurs running the show. At worst, your story will take on the appearance of a three-ring circus (You hadn’t intended to write about entertainment, did you, Ernest?)

4 If you are a writer, do not be in a hurry to get published. If you are, at best, you may have a plot hole that no one will notice. At worst, the grammar, plot, character, and continuity issues might gain you all the one-star reviews you can handle. (Quite a shock, huh?)

3 If you are a writer, do not think you need to do little else. If you do, at best, those few books sold will be gravy. At worst, your status as the great undiscovered but brilliant novelist will remain undisturbed. (Best to write your own eulogy as well.)

2 If you are a writer, do not plan to have your retirement income be solely based on your royalties. If you do, at best, you can cut expenses enough to survive. At worst, you are allergic to the kind of soup at the Salvation Army kitchen. (All your pals are really impressed that you are an author. Right, Bunkie?)

1 If you are a writer, do not argue with your reviewers. If you do, at best, the reviews will not improve. At worst, you may pick on the single reviewer who is classically trained in the martial arts and knows where you live. (Is that Tiny, the WWF champ tearing your front door off the hinges?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Shark Week Scavenger Hunt Part II

August 21, 2022August 16, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Here we are getting ready for the Shark Week Scavenger Hunt part II. First of all, I want to apologize for the quality of the photos. The Producer’s images are sharp and clear; mine look like I developed them in a milk bath. Not sure what happened, but hope you can enjoy them anyway.

We are being catered by Anything’s Baked Potato of Austin, and our entertainment is Coldplay.

Main

Cajun – Shrimp, fried chicken, andouille sausage, corn, and cajun cream sauce loaded onto a baked russet potato

Brisket – Smoked BBQ brisket, beans, cheese, onions, pickles, and sour cream, loaded onto a baked russet potato

Sunny Side – Bacon, andouille sausage, cheese, and sunny side up egg loaded onto a baked russet potato

Portobello Veggie – Mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, garlic, and cajun cream sauce loaded onto a baked russet potato

Salmon & Asparagus – Brown sugar sautéed salmon, asparagus, and Thai chili sauce loaded onto a baked sweet potato

Loaded Baked – Bacon, cheese, sour cream, chives

Chicken Fried Chicken – Buttermilk fried chicken, collard greens, corn, shredded cheese, and country gravy loaded onto a baked russet potato

Chicken & Steak – Buttermilk fried chicken, steak, collard greens, and white cream sauce loaded onto a baked sweet potato.

Dirty Side – Andouille sausage, bacon, scrambled eggs, cheese, and cajun cream sauce loaded onto a baked russet potato

Stir-Fri Veggie – Stir-fried cauliflower, broccoli, sweet peppers, and onions with teriyaki sauce loaded onto a baked russet potato

Wings & Fries – Honey Hot, Sweet Chili, Golden Fried Lemon Pepper

So don’t miss the bus.

Velvet Belly Lantern shark. Wonder who pet the belly to determine it was velvet?

The Maco Shark loves swordfish and is found wherever swordfish are found. Unfortunately, they are endangered due to fishing.

Bull Shark. All you freshwater fans should know these guys travel the Mississippi River.

Great name Izu Catshark and, as can be guessed, live only around Japan.

A reader had hoped G would be a different name. But, nope, Great White it is. No known predators and found everywhere. Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water.

Whale Shark – Largest 41,000 pounds and 61 feet. Loves tropical waters and eats plankton and small fish.

Angel Shark – Endangered. It is now found in the shelf sediment habitats in the Mediterranean Sea and eastern Atlantic.

Hammerhead Shark – Hammerheads are found worldwide in warmer waters along coastlines and continental shelves. They range in size from 3 feet to 19 feet and can weigh up to 1300 pounds.

Oceanic Whitetip Shark – The oceanic whitetip is found globally in deep, open oceans, with temperatures greater than 18 °C (64 °F). This shark is aggressive and threatened due to its fins and meat demand.

Port Jackson Shark – Lays eggs and does not need to swim to breathe. Found in the warm waters off the coast of Southern Australia.

So here is where we are on our scorecard and message key. I think by now, you noticed there is no 22. As hard as The Producer and I searched, we could not find it. But, we did figure out its letter. It is T.

Reminded me of the secret decoder ring on Christmas Story. Well, it is time to relax and eat and enjoy Coldplay live from Wembley Stadium on August 13th, 2022