Tag: thriller fiction

Top Ten Things Not to do on Spring Break

~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

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This list is inspired by watching almost every weird occurrence that can transpire in a two-week spring break period.  I did a previous post on the subject but decided to take it from the sane adult perspective. After all for every drunken idiot spring breaker antic, there is an equally sober witness to that action. (It’s called the law of disgust) This list is for those innocent souls who happen to be living in a place that is a destination for spring breakers.

Ten Things Not to Do During Spring Break

10 If you live in a spring break area, do not react to a group of spring breakers in a pick-up who ask you to pull up your shirt. If you do, at best you might get a string of beads. At worst, you may cause the group irreparable psychological harm. (They were talking to the young woman behind you. Not you old man.)

9 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to cross the street. If you do, at best you will become a laughable imitation of the game Frogger. At worst, you may end up on the hood of a pick-up and realize the driver is too drunk to see that far. (You won’t mind riding there for the next ten miles right?)

8  If you live in a spring break area, do not think you will be able to drive downtown to the store. If you do, at best what was a five-minute round trip will be a three-hour tour. At worst, you will never get to the store and will, in fact, be carried by the traffic to the next county. (The city tried to warn you about traffic flow)

7 If you live in a spring break area, do not think you can go to the beach. If you do, at best you will not find a place. At worst, you will be caught up in a game of beer pong and never make it home. (So it was the only way you could find a place you say?)

6 If you live in a spring break area, do not take any insults personally. If you do, at best you will be the source of much laughter. At worst, you will need transport to the ER for heart attack symptoms. (Guess which EMS vehicle can’t get through the crowds?)

5 If you live in a spring break area, do not worry about the ten tons of trash laying on the beach. If you do, at best you will want to do something to the next person you see toss a beer can. At worst, the next person you see toss a bear can is nicknamed “killer.” (This will not turn out well will it?)

4 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to help a person who appears lost and disoriented. If you do, at best they will not understand you. At worst, you could be the recipient of a barf shower. (Of course, you wanted to help. You can’t help stupid)

3 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to do anything about all the noise coming from your neighbor’s house. If you do, at best your neighbor will tell you where to go. At worst, the noise will increase since your neighbor is someone who doesn’t like being told what to do.(He is especially stubborn after twelve beers. Just ask his wife.)

2 If you live in a spring break area, do not use any sharp knives or dangerous tools for the duration. If you do, at best you won’t need emergency attention. At worst, you will need to know first aid since it will be about two days until someone can come help you. (The police and medical teams are dealing with big problems like passed out underage drinkers.)

1 If you live in a spring break area, do not leave your doors unlocked. If you do, at best you may wake up with unknown guests on your couch. At worst, all your furniture could be on the front lawn. (Just because a bunch of kids thought it would be funny)

Sunday – Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf

~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

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Beautiful day here on the island. Had to maneuver around to avoid spring breakers in the picture. Nothing like a bunch of half dressed teens asking me to take off my shirt for some beads to ruin an image.

I thought I would post one of the last photos of the crossover. I took it from the beach side and it gives you an idea of the scope of the thing. The debris around the base of the structure is what the high tides brought in. That black thing sticking up in the air is a sign warning trespassers that our area is mined and patrolled by black ops mercenaries. (just kidding). It does inform the lost that this is private property

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That little mound on the left is the piece of the dune that the pictures previous to the walk over would show. I now take the Gulf picture from the platform to the left of the sign.

Last week’s photo

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ball”

~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Ball.” Linda Hills says “go have fun with it.” If you would like to join in the fun, go to Linda’s site and get briefed on how to do it. http://lindaghill.com/2016/03/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1216/

Here is my interpretation.

Ball By John W. Howell © 2016

“Have a ball. That’s what she said?”

“Well, not exactly. She said Have fun.”

“So we should have fun but keep it under control?”

“I don’t know how you got there. Have a ball. Have fun. It’s all the same to me.”

“That is because you are pretty sloppy with your word use.”

“Sloppy? How do you figure.”

“Just take the last example. You use fun and ball as if they represent the same level of enjoyment.”

“Yeah so?”

“So? When I say ‘have a ball’ the word ball congers up music, dancing outrageous behavior.

“Maybe to you. I’ve never been to a ball, so I don’t know what goes on there. Is it fun?”

“Sure it’s fun, but that is only half of it.”

“What half?”

“A small subset of the entire experience.”

“So when I say ‘have fun’ it is only half of when I say ‘have a ball.’

“Now you’ve got it.”

“Okay tell me. After the fun part, what goes on.”

“I don’t mean to say there is a part. ‘Fun’ just doesn’t cover everything.’

“Like what?”

“Dancing close to a beautiful woman.”

“I’ve done that, and I call it fun.”

“Just fun?”

Hmmm, I think I’m getting what you are saying.”

“Good man. Then there is the music, and everyone all dressed up.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. Never been but I’ve seen movies. So Linda made up the prompt ‘ball’ but only wanted us to have fun and not a ball.”

“Looks that way.”

“I need to talk to her.”

“You go boy.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

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Friday again. YAY. This has been a week of taxes. Ugh, spit. It seems every year they become more complex and take more time to complete. Oh, I know what you are saying. “You do your own taxes?” Yes, I do. I have been doing them for thirty years and before that, I had a tax guy for four years.  Before that, I did my  taxes for 21 years. The tax guy (Big Eight firm) was a requirement by the company I worked for so there would be no conflict between personal and business.  The Big Eight guy would drive me up the wall since I never seemed to have the right documentation in the right place at the right time. I spent so much time chasing requests for things that once my tour was over with the company I vowed to go back and do my own. After all, I am a business school graduate with a concentration in finance. What could be so hard? Also, I have my friends at Turbo Tax to help me out. So there you are. The tax law changes have done little but add more paperwork which I just love. (don’t believe it). My John Ku today discusses the frustration of missing things at tax time. I hope you like it.

Lost by John W. Howell ©2016

All systems ready,

Burning the midnight candle. . .

Can’t find the W2.

Thursday – A Little Personal

~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

So here it is Thursday and I usually post something about my book or  maybe a picture of something. Today is raining and overcast so the picture idea is not a good one. Of course, the Birds of Paradise are blooming nicely. Hold on I’ll be right back. I’m going to see if they are picture worthy. I’m back. Well, they have some soggy and spent blooms but here they are.

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I also took  a photo of our Norfolk pines which are in the front yard to the right side.

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They are definitely getting big. The last photo is of a bush that behaves like a rhododendron but is for sure something else. The blooms are just starting to pop and they have a sweet smell. Here is a shot of the blooms. We don’t know the name. Maybe you can help.

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Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 29 Comments

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Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Mrs. Worthe waiting for Ben to come out of x-ray. She warned him to keep his mouth shut and delivered a subtle threat if he didn’t. So let’s go back to the hospital.
“How long will this take?”
“Not long may man. I just have to get a shot of your foot, and we’ll be done.”
“Has Mrs. Worthe given you any money?”
“Huh. What’s that you saying?”
“I just wanted to know if Mrs. Worthe gave you any money.”
“Money? Money for what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe to tell her if I say anything about her.”
“How do I get in on this money? Who do I have to kill?”
“Yeah, that’s kind of funny. I’m serious. Did she?”
“Hell no. No one has offered me money for anything. Now hold still and don’t move that foot.”
“So she—”
“Quiet, please. No talking. I need you to take a breath and hold it. Good. Breathe.”
“So she never asked a favor of you?’
“No, she didn’t. We are done. I’ll take you back now.”
“Wait. I need to tell you something, and you need to promise you will call the police after I tell you.”
“Now wait a minute bud. I don’t want to get involved in any shit. You hear me?”
“I hear you, but all you have to do is call the police when you drop me off back at the ER.”
“I don’t need to do anything else?”
“No just call the cops. Tell them you think one of the patients is a criminal. That’s all.”
“I guess I could so that. What do you need to tell me?“
“Please promise me.”
“Okay guy, I promise.”
“I’m part of a group who is going to blow up the Student Union at the University”
“Oh is that all? I wanted to do the same thing myself.”
“You don’t understand. This is a major terrorist group and Mrs. Worthe is the leader.”
“Okay guy you rest now. I’m going to roll you back to the ER.”
“I’m serious. How do you think I got this wound?”
“I heard the doc say you shot yourself.”
“Okay but doesn’t that sound serious.”
“Sure does. Now you relax. I’m sure the nurse can give you something. I have felt like you after a hard night. Take it easy bud. I’ll be right back.”
“You have got to believe me.’
“Oh I do my man. Here give me your arm.”
“What are you doing.’
“This is for your own protection. Orderly get that other arm.’
“Wait don’t do this. Help me.”
“Strap him down good. I think he might get violent.”
“People are going to die.”
“Whew he is getting out of control. Call the doc stat.”
“Please?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #67 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 39 Comments

Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t seem to be working, and I haven’t yet figured out why.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #67

Now What? By John W. Howell © 2016

“So tell me again what the mechanic said.”

“Why? I’ve told you ten times.”

“I just can’t believe he would give you that advice.”

“Why not. He’s the mechanic.”

“I know but it seems a little dumb to me is all.’

“Dumb? What do you mean dumb?”

“I have never heard of such a thing is all I’M saying.”

“Well, maybe there are new procedures for roadside repairs.”

“I can’t believe roadside repairs have changed over the years. You come out, try to fix the problem and then if you can’t you tow the vehicle into  the shop.”

“Yeah so don’t forget we are in a strange part of the country. These people probably have their ways of doing things.”

“Tell me again what the mechanic said to you. mary and I were over at the field looking at the beautiful flowers and didn’t hear anything.”

“Fine. This is the last time, though.”

“Okay, just tell me.”

“The mechanic came out here. He looked at the motor.”

“Yes?”

“He said we needed a repair that could only be done at the shop.”

“So far sounds normal.”

“He then backed his wrecker up to the car.”

“Yeah we saw that.”

“He then pulled out the motor and said he would be back shortly.”

“And you let him do this?”

“I had no choice the motor was out and hanging from his wrecker.”

“When did he say he would be back?”

“Shortly.”

“It’s been four hours.”

“Well maybe shortly means something else here.”

“Call him.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“My phone is in the wrecker.”

“Damnation.”

“Yup.”

Sunday – Fifty – Two Views of the Gulf.

~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

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Today is beautiful with temps in the seventies. This shot was taken from the top of the walk over and as you can see it is peaceful and quiet. We expect the spring breakers to start showing up the weekend of the 12th so now we are relaxing with the solitude.

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As you can see the walk over is finished. This is the entrance.

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This is the ramp to the beach. Those little blue barrels in the distance are temporary markers to let spring breakers know there is no parking between the barrels and the dune.

Last week’s photo

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I am still offering the Kindle addition of His Revenge at $0.99 through 11:59 tonight. Since I’ve said enough about the sale I’ll leave it at that.